A Flawed Heart (15 page)

“Let me explain.”

He leans back on the couch, arms folded across his chest. He’s
tense and grinds his teeth. He’s angry but I can see the vulnerability behind
his rage.

“Yesterday when I went to meet you at your studio, I couldn’t
find my way and I ran into Aidan. He asked me if I was a friend of yours, and
then gave me directions. That was it.
Really.
He
recognized me just now I guess. That’s probably why he winked. Why are you
getting so upset?”

“I’m upset because another guy just winked at my girlfriend.
I think that’s a pretty fucking normal reaction. It’s taking all of my
restraint not to chase him down right now.” His leg is bouncing up and down as
he speaks. “Aidan is a dick. I play rugby with him. He’s a shit starter.”

“And you’re
not
a shit starter?” I smile, hoping he’ll
relax and see how ridiculous he’s being.

He grins and exhales as he leans forward and places his
elbows on his knees. “I guess you have a point there.”

“You don’t have to worry about me. I can handle myself, and
I don’t want anyone but
you
. You’re the only one I want.” I stroke my
fingertips across his knuckles and he turns his head toward me.

“I’m sorry. I just get very protective of people I care
about, and I care about you…a lot.” His words are soft and serious as he
whispers his confession.

I feel myself melting into the cushions. “I care about you,
too.”

He licks his lips, touches my cheek and his gaze darts over
my face. He kisses me as if he’s sealing our words together, then smiles at me
and takes my hand.

“You should know that Aidan and I used to be friends. He
recorded me a few times, and he used to date Skye before I got together with
her.”

“There’s some bad blood, then. I get it.”

“Just avoid him, all right? He tries to fuck with me
whenever he can. He’s got nothing but bad intentions, Claire.”

“Okay. Don’t worry. I’ll stay away.” I pick up my cup and
finish the mocha. “So, you play rugby?”

“Yeah,
in a local men’s
league. The
season starts in October.”

“Rugby’s pretty brutal, isn’t it?”

“They say ‘It’s a game for animals, played by gentleman.’”
He smiles as he describes it, and I can tell it’s something he loves. “It’s a
good time. Ben plays, too. You’ll have to come out and watch.”

“I can’t wait.”

He finishes his coffee, and I watch him swallow and lick his
lips. “We’re all going to Alexa’s to hang out tonight. Do you want to come?”

“All right.
I just need to go home
and change first.”

“Meet me at my place. We’re
gonna
eat dinner and drink a bit before we go over.”

“Okay.”

He stands up, takes my hands, and pulls me up off of the
couch. “It looks like it stopped raining.”

We exit the café together. The trees are still dripping, and
the fragrance of wet asphalt is in the air. The dark gray clouds race
above,
and the wind picks up and blows my hair around my
face. I raise my hands in a futile attempt at taming it. Jason stands an arm’s
length away, watching me battle with my hair.

“You’re gorgeous, you know that? You’re like an angel.
So beautiful.”

He takes my breath away, and all I can do is smile. He steps
toward me, grips my waist and presses himself into me. I can
feel
just how beautiful he thinks I
am, and he kisses my forehead, my cheek,
my
lips. I
close my eyes, tasting him and the sweetness of the chocolate that lingers on
my lips.

The apartment is empty when I get home, and I’m thankful. It’s
nice to have some peace and quiet for a moment. I email my mom, and change into
an outfit suitable for going out in New York—black shirt, black skirt, black
boots. It’s a little sexier that I’m used to, but I’m sure Jason will like it. I
slip a black cardigan covered with little red cherries on over my shirt, and
text Lydia.

Where
are you? I’m heading to Jason’s place.

I call to let Jason know I’m on my way, but he doesn’t pick
up. Once I’m out on the street, I’m happy to find sky has cleared. I light a
cigarette as I hurry to Jason’s building.

Yellow light pours from all of the windows in his apartment.
The front door to the building is open as always and I hear him playing his
keyboard and singing. I’m surprised to hear a girl’s voice singing with him. It’s
a high soprano and it sounds beautiful as it harmonizes with his. My chest
tightens with jealousy. I knock on the apartment door and walk into the living
room. A cloud of smoke hits me. I smell weed, and find Ben and Alana seated on
the couch with several empty beer bottles in front of them. Ben is sitting up,
pulling on a joint, and Alana is lying down with her head in Ben’s lap.

“Hey, Claire.”
They greet me in
unison.

The music continues from Jason’s room. I want to go in and
see what’s going on.

“Hey. Have y’all seen Lydia?”

“She’s with Jason,” Alana answers me, and Ben places the
joint to her lips with his hand. She takes a pull and holds it in as she plays
with her long, dark hair.

“We were listening to music, and those two got carried away.
They went in his room to jam. It’s been The Taylor Family Band for like an hour
now. You should go in and say hi.” Ben gestures for me to go into Jason’s room.
“And bring some beers with
you,
I’m sure they need
refills.”

I grab three beers from the fridge and breathe a sigh of
relief. I’m happy it’s Lydia in there with him and not some random girl, but
I shouldn’t have even had that thought. I
don’t know why it’s this hard for Jason and me to trust each other.

Ben and Alana giggle with each other, but their voices fade
and the music from Jason’s room gets louder as I approach. I poke my head in
the door and lean my body against the doorjamb. Jason is pounding his hands on
the keys and bobbing his head. They’re laughing and singing together. Lydia
claps her hands in rhythm as she dances next to Jason’s seat. They finish the
song and high five each other.
It’s
nice to see them so happy.

Lydia charges over to me, and grips me in a too-tight
embrace as she plants a kiss on my cheek. I smell beer on her. Jason turns and
I see his face over Lydia’s shoulder. His eyes widen as he looks at me and I
smile at him.

“You sound really great together; I didn’t know you could
sing, Lydia.”

“And she plays flute and harmonica,” Jason adds. He walks
over to us and takes a beer from my hands. His gaze roams my body as he takes a
sip.

“I’m
gonna
go help Ben and Alana,”
says Lydia. “We’re making home-made pizza. Claire, do you want to give me a
hand?”

“Sure.”

“We’ll be out in a second.” Jason speaks for us and Lydia
sticks her tongue out at him. He reaches for her ribs, and she doubles over
laughing as he tickles her. Lydia pads down the hall in her bare feet. I shut
the door behind her and turn toward Jason.

“What the fuck are you wearing, Claire? Are you trying to
kill me?” He closes the gap between us, places his hand on my neck and presses
his lips to mine. I suck gently on his lower lip and he groans. His kisses my
neck and his hands move up under my skirt, over my ass, as he rubs the texture
of my panties. I grip his hair and move my mouth to his. I feel myself getting
light-headed as I surrender myself to sensation.

“Come and help us with dinner!”

“Fuck, Lydia!”
Jason shouts.

“We…should…go…” I’m trying to speak but Jason’s hands and
mouth on my body make it difficult for me to focus. Suddenly he stops.

“All right.
But I’m not finished
with you…or your panties.”

He spanks me, and I gasp but smile at the mischief and lust
in his eyes. Jason holds my hand as we enter the kitchen together.

Alana
is slicing pepperoni, and Ben’s eating most of what she slices, as he sits on
the counter next to the cutting-board. Lydia has
Tegan and Sara
playing
from the iPod dock. She’s wearing an apron over her jeans and t-shirt, and she’s
rolling out pizza dough.

“Jay, you can shred some cheese? It’s on the table…and Claire,
you can start the sauce with that can of tomatoes.”

I steal glances at Jason as I stir and mind the sauce. He
looks so
happy
. We drink quite
a bit as we wait for our dinner to cook, and I feel myself getting buzzed.
Jason looks full on drunk—his eyes are glassy and he’s cracking up laughing at
Ben’s antics.

We eat together at the kitchen table. Alana and Lydia
gossip,
and Jason rubs my thigh under the table as we eat.
After dinner, Lydia and I finish cleaning up, and open another beer. We walk
into the living room, and Jason pulls me into his lap where he sits alone in
the living room chair.

“You guys ready to get going?” Alana asks.

“You can go on ahead. We’ll meet you there,” Jason answers
for us.

“Suit
yourself
,” Lydia says. The
three of them leave the house, stumbling and laughing as they exit.

I try to stand up from the easy chair that Jason and I are
sitting on, but he grips my waist tighter, binding me to him. The alcohol
disrupts any desire to fight him off.

“What are you doing?”

He rubs his nose and lips against the back of my neck in
slow motion, and I get chills from his touch.

“What do you think I’m doing, Claire?
Hmm?
I need to see you. I need to
feel
you…right now.”

He’s getting hard beneath me. His hands slide from my waist
to my thighs, caressing my skin. He moves them up under my skirt, and his
fingers push my thighs apart. He licks my neck—his breath is hot on my skin.

“Fuck, I want these clothes off. Stand up.”

I do as I’m told, and turn around to face him.

“Open your shirt.”

I unbutton my top as I look into Jason’s hungry eyes. I let
the shirt fall away, and stand in front of him in just my bra. I feel exposed
and anxious, and the emotion causes me to cast my gaze at the floor.

“Don’t do that. Don’t look away from me. You’re beautiful.” He
grips my ass with his hands, squeezing and rubbing it as I stand above him. I
breathe in the scent of his hair as he reaches down to my boots, and I hold
onto his shoulders as he slips my feet out from each one. He puts them to the
side and I open my skirt, letting it drop to the ground. He hooks his thumbs
into the top of my panties, and his hands feel rough against my smooth skin. My
breath quickens as he slips them down my legs while kissing and licking my
waist. He turns me around and kisses the skin on my lower back and my heart
thunders in my chest. I reach between my shoulder blades to unhook my bra, but
Jason stands and replaces my hands with his. He opens the clasp and the fabric slides
down my arms. He nibbles the skin on my shoulder and then kisses the place
where he just sank his teeth in. He brings his mouth to mine as he opens the
buttons of his own shirt. I reach my hands up to help him, and my fingers trace
the black lines on his chest.

“I want to know what these all mean. I want to know each
story.”

“And I want you to know. One day I’ll tell you. I promise.”

I move my hands to his belt. When his pants drop to the
floor he turns me away from him. He fumbles as he removes the rest of his
clothing, and then I feel his cock against my ass. He reaches his hand down and
slips his fingers between my lips, first rubbing my slit and then pushing them
inside me. I move up onto my tiptoes as his hand works, and I moan. He touches
me in ways that I’ve never been touched, and he seems to know my body even
better than I do. He has me on the verge of orgasm with just the touch of his
hand. He grips my hip to steady me and then sits back in the chair and takes me
with him.

“Reach into my back pocket.”

I lean forward and find his jeans on the floor. In the
pocket I find a condom and open it. “You’re like a boy scout—
always prepared.”

He shifts his body so his cock is between my thighs. I
marvel at its size, wondering how my body can accommodate it. I roll the latex
over his length, and move to stand up so I can turn around and straddle him.

“No. I want you like this.”

He grips my hips, and puts the tip of his cock at my
entrance. I slide back into his lap. He thrusts his hips up, pushing inside of
me, and grabs my breasts with both hands. In an instant, I feel pleasure. I
lean back onto his chest as he moves one hand down to my clit. I love the way
he makes my body his. I take his hand from my breast and put one of his fingers
in my mouth. I lick the tip and suck it, letting my teeth scrape it.

“Fuck, Claire. You’re so sexy. I love fucking you.”

Hearing the word ‘love’ come from his lips, even in this
context, pushes me over the edge. He quickens his pace and holds my hips,
guiding me up and down on his body in
a frenzy
. I
whimper and he leans forward, moving us both onto our knees on the rug. I place
my hands on the coffee table to steady myself, and Jason puts one hand in my
hair. He tugs on it and grunts and moans, and
I’m
transported into bliss as I climax. He moves me onto my back, hovers over me as
he kisses me, and slides his cock inside me again. The kiss is so passionate
and he puts his hands on either side of my face as he unleashes his ecstasy. He
breaks the kiss and moves his mouth to my ear.

“I’ve never felt like this before.”

“Neither have I.”

I stroke my hands up and down his back, touching the light
sheen of sweat that now cools on his skin. We lie there in the dim light of the
living room until our breath returns to us. Jason gets up and goes into the
kitchen, returning with two beers and an ashtray. I watch with adoration as he
walks through the house naked.