A Heart Once Broken (22 page)

As Rosemary watched the clock, a sudden pain shot through her lower abdomen. Rosemary groaned and clutched with both hands. When the pain let up, a smile spread over her face. “I really must be nervous. Now who would have thought that?” she said to herself.

Mamm
stuck her head in the kitchen doorway. “What did you say?”

Rosemary laughed. “Just talking to myself. I'm so happy.”

“How's the dessert coming?”

Rosemary pulled open the oven door and retrieved the plate of cakes.

Mamm
inspected the results over Rosemary's shoulder. “Not too bad for a girl in the throes of nervousness.”

“Thank you,” Rosemary whispered. “I'm too tense to tell what's
goot
or not. Will you taste one for me after they've cooled off?”

“Ann will,”
Mamm
decided. “But you can't bring those anywhere close to the supper table or the children will eat all of them.”

“I know,” Rosemary agreed. She slid the plate onto a pad on the counter and stepped back. They were perfect. Now hopefully this nervousness would leave soon, or she'd have a stomachache every evening Ezra brought her home. And there
would
be other evenings. She had come too far to lose Ezra.

Rosemary bent low over the cakes to take a deep breath. The smell was delicious. This was the very thing she wanted on the first evening Ezra brought her home. They would sit in the living room and eat cherry cheese cups together, and she wouldn't be nervous any longer.

“Thank you, Ezra. And thank You, Lord, for this day,” Rosemary sent a quick prayer toward the heavens.

Chapter Twenty-One

R
osemary pinched herself that evening at the hymn singing as the first song number was given out. The singing began and the joyous notes matched her feelings exactly. She lifted her head and sang with all her heart. If someone noticed her extra effort, they would have assumed the song had stirred a religious fervor in her. They wouldn't have been far from wrong. Ezra stirred things long buried in her heart. She had never dared dream this would happen. Not to Rosemary Beiler. She was in love.

She would soon float away, Rosemary decided, as the song continued. She felt so close to heaven, it was as if she could reach out and touch a cloud. Now if this pain in her side would just go away. Nervousness, no doubt. Perhaps by her second or third date with Ezra she would no longer have this reaction. Until then she would ignore the pain and enjoy every minute of this evening.

No one among the young people had noticed anything different, even when the Beiler family had all arrived in the surrey. They were an ordinary family who didn't warrant any special attention. And she had managed to hide the joy in her heart until the first song had broken the dam. Now her face must glow with happiness, but she didn't care.

From across the room Ezra glanced her way and smiled. Rosemary lowered her head. This would not do. She had to act normal to some degree, and too many smiles from Ezra would bring out a deep flush in her face. Rosemary forced herself to concentrate as another song number was given out. This time the tune was slower and more reverent. Rosemary closed her eyes and sang along, her spirit drifting joyously upward as visions of the Lord and Ezra floated together through Rosemary's mind.

Was this how every girl in love felt? Surely it was. She would have to calm down, Rosemary told herself. Excitement seemed to make the pain in her side worse, which could be the Lord's way of keeping her from flying too high. She already held Ezra in the highest esteem, so the rebuke came as no surprise. Rosemary smiled as the song came to a close, and another was given out. She was content with whatever the Lord allowed. The chance to pursue Ezra for his affections had come as a total surprise, but the path had been opened for her. She would be thankful and accept what was given to her. With the roses came the thorns. Was that not how the Lord worked?

Rosemary kept her gaze away from Ezra's direction. Flirtations could wait for later in the evening. For now she focused on the words of the song. They spoke of the Lord's greatness and of the comfort He supplied to those who obeyed and trusted in Him. She wanted that comfort and guidance, and so did Ezra. That was part of the wonder of their relationship. They would travel through this evening and on to whatever lay ahead of them. If the Lord willed it, they would one day stand and say their marriage vows together, but she would not think of that now.

The songs continued, and Rosemary allowed herself a quick glance at Ezra once the clock crept toward nine o'clock. Ezra caught her look and smiled. Rosemary allowed the joy to rise all the way through her. With a final flourish the last song number was given
out. When the song concluded, Rosemary gripped the edge of the bench as the conversations began around her. If someone spoke to her, she had no idea how she would speak. Her throat was too dry. Rosemary held perfectly still and listened to the conversation between Amy and Wanda, who were seated beside her.

“Emanuel's coming home on Wednesday from his trip to the old community,” Amy was saying.

“On the Greyhound?” Wanda asked.

“
Yah
, there weren't enough people who wanted to visit to take a van,” Amy said.

“Your cousin's wedding, wasn't it?” Wanda asked.

“Distant.” Amy laughed. “Emanuel had his reasons, you know.”

“I can imagine.”

“What about you and this Johnny fellow, Rosemary? I heard some rumors from a little bird.” Rosemary jumped when Amy addressed her.

“What about him?” Rosemary said.

“We heard that Johnny wrote to you,” Amy said. “If you're writing him, you have kept an awfully
goot
secret.”

“No, I'm not writing him,” Rosemary said.

“But you don't seem surprised we asked,” Amy persisted. “So Johnny must have written. Is there something in the future perhaps?”

“No,” Rosemary managed. The rush of heat to her face gave both girls the wrong idea, but she couldn't help that. “We're not writing,” Rosemary repeated.

“I guess things can get mixed up,” Amy said. “All kinds of misunderstandings can happen with these long-distance relationships. That's why I want someone from the community.”

“Like Clyde?” Wanda teased.

Amy sighed. “I think Clyde's got his heart set on Sandra Troyer. So that one's flown the coop.”

They laughed again, and Rosemary forced herself to join in. But perhaps she should tell Ezra about Johnny if rumors were floating around the community. She mustn't let any misunderstanding arise between them.

Rosemary glanced around as several of the dating couples rose to their feet to walk out. Ezra was still deep in conversation with his cousin Joseph. He would soon walk out, though, and Rosemary would watch for it. The younger couples always waited until the steadies had gone, and most of those had left. Sure enough, after a few minutes, Ezra slipped out the front door. Rosemary waited for what seemed like a long time before she stood up. Amy and Wanda gave her strange looks, but Rosemary kept her head down and hurried to the washroom. Before Rosemary could find her shawl, Amy appeared in the doorway.

“Is this what it looks like, Rosemary?”

“
Yah
, if you must know,” Rosemary answered.

“But Ezra Wagler? Well! I'm glad for you.” Amy managed a smile. “I never would have thought this, as hard as the Troyer cousins worked on the man. But I suppose financial trouble can do this, and now that Clyde is making moves toward Sandra, the coast is clear.”

Rosemary was in no mood to analyze the situation, but she must be polite. “Ezra's asking me home, and that's a great gift from the Lord. I am deeply thankful.”

“The best to you, then.” Amy's smile was more relaxed. “And congratulations.”

“Thank you.” Rosemary returned the smile.

She wrapped her shawl tightly over her shoulders and slipped out into the fallen darkness. The dim lights from the buggies lined up along the sidewalks cast a soft glow against the horizon. Rosemary spotted Ezra's buggy and hurried across the lawn. Ezra pushed
open the door as she approached and Rosemary pulled herself up and settled onto the seat beside him.

Ezra's deep voice filled the buggy. “
Goot
evening.”

“And a
goot
evening to you,” Rosemary whispered.

Ezra let out the reins and his horse dashed forward. Rosemary hung on with both hands.

Ezra chuckled. “He's a little energetic after dark.”

Rosemary took a deep breath. “What's his name?”

“Midnight. Do you like it?”

She would like any name that Ezra chose for his horse, but she probably shouldn't say so. “Sounds mysterious,” Rosemary said instead.

Ezra laughed. “Only you would say that.”

“Well, it does,” Rosemary protested. “I know he's a black horse and that's probably why you named him Midnight, but that's still mysterious.”

“What would you have named him?” Ezra leaned forward to check for traffic before he pulled out onto Route 15.

Rosemary thought for a moment. Why Ezra teased her she didn't know, but she might as well tell the truth. “I would have been happy with whatever you named your horse. I'm not that original.”

Ezra grinned. “You're plenty original, Rosemary. Don't knock yourself.”

Rosemary regarded Ezra for a moment. “Okay, if you say so.”

“I do say so.” Ezra let out the reins again.

When there was silence for a few moments, Ezra went on. “You'll have to give me a pass if I say something wrong…I'm kind of nervous, you know. I've never taken a girl home before.”

“You're nervous?” Rosemary didn't hide her astonishment. “You have to be kidding.”

“No, I'm not.” Ezra had sobered. “Thanks for letting me take you home.”

Rosemary nodded and clasped her hands on her lap.
He
was nervous? If only he knew how she felt… The pain in her side stabbed at her as a reminder.

“I see your parents left earlier with the rest of the family,” Ezra said.

“
Yah
, that's how
Mamm
wanted things done tonight, what with Ann having to drive by herself otherwise.”

Ezra smiled. “I had wondered about that, but I didn't want to say something this early in our relationship. I would have been glad to pick you up on the way to the singing too. It's not that far out of my way.”

Rosemary kept her gaze on the road ahead. “Oh. Does that mean we might do this again?”

Ezra laughed. “Do you want to?”

The words rushed out. “You know I want to. You must know I'm misty-eyed and breathless just because you asked me home at all.”

Ezra laughed again. “You underrate yourself, Rosemary, but perhaps that's what I like about you. You're unpretentious.”

“I don't know what that means, but I think it must be a compliment.”

“
Yah
, it's a compliment,” Ezra assured her. “It means you don't pretend.”

“I try not to,” she said.

A mile later Ezra slowed Midnight for the Beilers' lane and turned in to stop at the hitching post. “Well, here we are. Home, sweet home.”

Rosemary jumped down from her side of the buggy and Ezra climbed down to tie up Midnight. He called over his shoulder, “What have you got to eat inside?”

“Come.” Rosemary took his arm when he finished with Midnight. “I'll show you what I've made, then you can decide for yourself if it's worth coming back again.”

Rosemary's nerve faltered now that she had taken Ezra's arm, but she didn't dare let go. Ezra hadn't objected, but he must have been astonished at her boldness on their first date.

Rosemary paused at the front door to let go of his arm. “I should tell you something, Ezra. I thought to do so later, but now's better.”

“More surprises?” he teased.