A Life Plan Without You. (28 page)

“You’re really going to have to stop doing that Uncle David,
I’m not eight anymore.” He smiled.

“Do you want a sloppy kiss then?”

“Erg no, the head things fine then. Thank you for the lift
home, homework and bed for me, see you Tom and goodbye in Russian
is, ‘do svidaniya,’ and it actually means, until we meet again. You
were actually telling the girl you met, that she looked like she
had her mother's backside? She may not write to you cousin.” Aunty
June laughed as he sulked, they pulled off, before anyone realized
they were here. I just wanted to sort out who she was and why he
had lied.

I didn’t sleep well that night, surprisingly… In fact I cried
myself to sleep, then bad dreams about him and the stunning blonde
woman. What is it with him and blondes? Getting up for college was
the hardest slog of all. I just wanted to stay in bed, and die.
However, that wouldn’t solve anything. Mum had bought yet another
bra for me to try, hopefully this one would fit and it did like a
glove, umm I’m a 34D? Nice to know the girls size at last! A clean
shirt, skirt and my hair done, left wet and allowed to dry
naturally, and off I went.

This was the last day, the Easter holidays started Monday. At
the end of the college path stood the still apparently playing the
field Sam! I wanted to run over smack his face and go home, but I’m
Chef De Cuisine today, so had to be in the kitchens, you can’t run
a kitchen without a head of kitchen, this Friday is my rotation day
for the college kitchen and it’s my final kitchen pre exam prep
class and all to be in French too, no worries there then! I have a
feeling I’m going to be a mad chef today, Lord help them. Hope they
can duck, as I throw stuff when angry, usually insults, but it has
been known to be a pan or two…

“Hi, I missed you last night.” He came in for a kiss I ducked.
“What’s the matter with you today?” He looked shocked.

“Three rules Sam. Lie, cheat or harm remember them? I actually
saw you last night… I was being driven home, and saw you at the
bottom of Stockton Road. Care to explain who the leggy blonde girl
was draped all over you and the need for your arm to be around her
waist, who was she? You looked quite the cosy couple.” He grabbed
my hand and led me to a park bench, I was shocked as he pulled me
along, I just wanted to smack him in the nuts and run.

“She was sorry, is my Cousin Kim, why didn’t you ask to stop
the car? I would have loved to let you meet the normal side of my
family. Michelle, baby really she is just my cousin.”

“I was too angry and pissed off with you, besides Uncle David
wouldn’t have left me there with you because he’d promised Grandad
to have me home.” The relief, I just wanted to collapse into his
arms crying. “I’m such a cow! I was for kicking you in, your nether
region and running back home to sulk.” He actually looked pleased
at my jealousy, he really wouldn’t like a jealous me.

“I don’t think I’d have liked that Mi cielo? I usually go to
see them Sunday, but being a little erm pre occupied for some
wonderful reason, I missed our weekly road race challenge! So I
arranged to meet up with Kimmy last night after we both finished
work! I met up with Kimmy for our weekly run up Stockton Road, last
one up has to prepare dinner for the family and yeah for me I won,
wow she was a sore loser.

It’s something we’ve both done since I stopped going out on a
Saturday, I was finally sober enough to take back the challenge and
getting back to normal for the first time in a long time! Baby
being normal again is the best feeling in the world. I usually meet
her there at the bottom and the last one to Aunties makes the
dinner, the first few weeks it was tough, she beat me every week,
now she doesn’t!

Bad thing about it is when she loses dinners usually worse
than Aunties massacre of the beef joint. Mines wonderful, I order
from the restaurant, some Sundays I feel like losing just so we
don’t have to eat their food! Aunty is a great accountant and
business woman, but cooking isn’t her forte and it was a skill her
daughter picked up on, but they try and I love them for it!” Wow
she must be some kind of girl, the hippy chick I saw doesn’t look
like a runner, is he kidding me, and is she his other girl
friend?

Opps that looks there in the eyes, she really thinks Kimmy is
my bit on the side? Sheisk when I find out who did this to her I
will make them truly sorry, she has so many self-doubts and I’m
adding to them, she’s so sweet, why does she not think she deserves
to be loved and love her I do, I missed her last night really
missed her too? I better explain quickly before those thoughts
destroy her and us, this is going to be an ongoing fight, because
she’s so damn insecure…

“I got my crap together pretty much that week I saw you
dancing into my life baby, and Kimmy after that well she helped me
to cope. The weekends out were like some kind of drug I thought I
needed, but she showed me I didn’t, I just thought I did. I think
you’re going to like her she has been waiting to see you for a long
time. Don’t shout but I told them I’m taking you to see them on
Sunday, they want to meet the girl I am so head over heels in love
with!” I oh-ed!

“Sorry, you’re busy Sunday Lunch with Nana and Grandad, all
cooked by my own fair hands. You can blame Mum and her gob again!
We can, if you want to go after that’s if you still
want?”

“You’re going to cook me Sunday Lunch? That’s no contest baby,
besides I’m not sure you’ll survive their cooking and I know I
can’t wait to try yours, how else am I going to see if the woman I
want to spend the rest of my days with can feed me?”

“Tom ate my cooking last night, so it won’t do you any harm,
erm I’m nearly a qualified chef, do you really think I can’t cook?
Rest of days egh? Another slip of the tongue?”

“Who’s Tom? No it wasn’t a slip, we need to start doing some
serious talking baby, this is really serious for me and I hope it
is for you too?” I laughed, his face was a picture and it seems too
we have the both of us, some serious jealousy issues!

“I like that I mean so much to you, and I like that it’s
serious, and I love that you are jealous of my night spent with
Tom, he’s just my annoying cousin! It seems we both spent the night
with cousins then?” I felt such a great sense of relief that he
hadn’t in fact met someone else, and we were serious…

“Do I get my kiss now?” I was only too happy to
oblige.

“I’m sorry but I really thought you had another girl on the
go, I was so angry and jealous Sam. It was awful seeing you with
somebody else, it would break my heart if you cheated on me, please
don’t?”

“Nice to know you care enough, but I’d never cheat on you
ever. Yes after your grandparents we go to my Aunty Allison, she’s
my mum’s big sister. Sunday it is then, they can’t wait to meet
you. Mum’s been singing your praises. How’s the ankle by the way?”
I waggled it about.

“Fine thanks, Aunty Liz is wonderful, good job she lives next
door, she’s the head matron at Stockton General, and I love her and
Uncle Joe to bits!” He kissed me again and pulled me up. I was
melting in his arms, his kisses warm against my lips his tongue
invading. The needy kisses lasted forever and as he pulled away he
kissed me on my head.

“Will I see you tonight? If so I’ll meet you there, if that’s
ok? I don’t finish work until five; I had a late start so I could
see you, because I missed you last night!” I smiled worry, and
stress free again.

“I will see you later yes. Have I actually told you how much
I... How much… I well? Oh hell how much I love you?” He blushed as
I finally said those three little words out loud, and for the first
ever time to a boy!

“No you haven’t, but I knew you did I just wasn’t going to
push you into saying it. Nice to know and hear though. I love you
too baby, and way more than you know, I love you and only you come
here Missy.” He hugged me hard and kissed my head again. He smiled
and left for work. Me? I was relieved I got to say the words out
loud. The first time too that I have told anyone I loved them, and
now I had done I was relieved and happy because he loved me
too.

I was going to be late for the first ever time and I didn’t
care. College was a blast. I have passed my Sommelier classes too,
and I rocked my last assessment as Chef De Cuisine, not too many
outbursts in French. I can now do wine waiting and progress on to
the next wine course and learn more the art of being a posh wine
waiter, yeah for me. The day went quickly and I rushed home. Had a
bath, did my hair and went to get dressed. I grabbed my clothes for
tonight. I need new clothes, I need girl clothes if I’m going to be
with Sam and going out.

I will ask Gramps to take me on his much threatened shop for
those girl clothes, I’d put it off for years! Gramps and his dire
need for me to look like a girl, had caused many a heated debate
over the years, this time I want to do it for me, I’m all grown up
at last. I dressed in a flash, and headed off to class. I had been
going out with Sam a whole week and boy what a week. I made it to
Ridgley’s in record time. I rushed to put those shoes on, another
squirt of deodorant, lip-gloss courtesy of Lana and dampen my hair
a little, ready for the lessons to begin.

“Lee’s down stairs Michelle, your lessons are waiting down
there tonight.” Madam Cyn shouted out from her little office. I
rushed down the stairs to see a whole load college idiots, taking
beginners lessons. Oh my God could this day get any weirder, and I
had to wonder, who had put them up to it? They were grinning like
the wayward schoolboys they still were, and messing around. I need
to get my teaching head on. Half of these lads were part of the
Neanderthals attached to our group when we were in school, deep
joy. Oh great the wolf whistles too. I whistle back shutting them
up with my strict voice.

“Shut up
or leave, listen and learn, something you lot have not been able to
do in the past six years, now shush and grow up now or
leave?”

“Argh, yes quite Michelle, here she is the lovely Michelle,
she will be dancing with most of you tonight. I wasn’t expecting
quite as many lads. Michelle and Ellie’s late, so follow our lead
as we begin with a simple foxtrot.” They really were useless as
they arsed around. I grabbed one lad called Stephen.

“Right follow our lead and you lot watch or you will be
dancing with Lee if you continue to mess around. Why you lot here,
is it some sort of joke?” He blushed.

“There are plenty of nice girls.” I guided him.

“Is that the only reason?” He nodded.

“Pretty much, we came last week just to see what Karen and
Ellie did here, she said it was fun somewhere to hang out, and they
weren’t fussy who got served at the bar. We didn’t expect to see
you here you’re really good, and so different here from school,
how’s college life then? And yes I love being a trainee
firefighter, if you were going to ask me what I was doing? Fancy
coming out with me, you’re more confident now. How long have you
been dancing Michelle?” I corrected a few of his moves. Boy did he
just ask me out in all those mixed up nervous questions?

“I’ve been dancing here for nine, nearly ten years, college is
fine and confident, cheers I don’t have as many arse’s in my life
as I used to, speaking of which, where is Karen? Right well done
Stephen, I’m seeing someone sorry too late, and he’s coming later
if you want to chat about the offer? Did Karen put you up to it?
I’m glad you like putting out fires.”

“Yeah, she said you liked a man in uniform, the bitch was
winding me up. I look a fool, the fucking cow shit I’m so
embarrassed now.”

“Don’t be, if I wasn’t seeing Sam I would have liked a date,
but I’m and happy, and yeah I do like a man in uniform, she needs a
padded white jacket the cow. I’m seeing Jimmy’s Brother
Sam?”

“Argh Wam-Bam-Sam?” I laughed.

“Yeah one in the same, and that’s an old nickname, he’s boring
old Michelle’s Sam now.” He laughed. “That’s great Stephen, take
your place Jimmy your next.”

He slouched over, he looked nervous and as he put his arm
around my waist, he went red. This was the closest we’d been since
I had knelt between his legs stemming the flow of blood from his
lip, unless you count the previous shouting in his face as a close
encounter?

“Sam knows you’re having lessons then?” He was desperately
trying to avoid eye contact.

“Like I give a shit what you and lover boy get up to and I
don’t give a crap about you anymore, because you’re not worth it.”
Oh, so you’re not at all bitter still Jimmy?

“Really James as long as the crap stops, we will be fine then,
as to me and Sam? I didn’t do it to upset you Jimmy, really I
didn’t! Besides you never said you liked me, what am I, a mind
reader? You had plenty of time to let me know how you felt, how
long were we friends nearly seven years James Robert? So quit it
being a bigger bitch than Karen! I swear the last stunt you pulled
made me so damned angry your lucky you’re even walking never mind
here dancing and so damn close to where I could rip your balls off,
what were you thinking James?” He went red, and shrugged his
shoulders.

“I would like you to tell my Dad the truth, not your version
of the facts, you whiny little sap. I’m over the fact that Sam has
a past, my Dad is not a stupid man he has asked other people about
Sam too, and they won’t be good reports we both know that! I don’t
want to shock you, but he answered every question I asked of him
last Saturday night! Sam told me there were a lot of girls and
women before me, and there were, he said far too many to mention,
even if he could remember them all, and for me that’s the only bad
thing to come out of this, that he has too see God knows how many
girls every day and think when they smile at him or speak, he’ll
have I tapped that?