A Life Plan Without You. (65 page)

“Can we baby girl, do the list at the weekend you never said
if you still wanted me, oh you don’t want to marry me now, do you
want to marry me have you changed your mind Michelle, I’m confused,
why are you not drinking, umm your being a good girl, wanna come
back to mine and be a bad girl?”

“Sam, no more please, if you weren’t so hammered, you would
have remembered I have already said yes, I will marry you, and yes
baby we will do the list at the weekend, all of it and the gift
giving too.” He looked at me and kissed me, trust him to offer it
up when he’s too pissed to do it, or remember doing it, heck if I
didn’t love him as much as I bloody did, I’d risk it too, but nope,
I will remain strong and not have sex with my gorgeous drunken lush
of a fiancé, I may regret this action, if the drunken sod doesn’t
put out at the weekend as promised. I laugh as a couple of girls
who had warned me off Sam in Heaven see him, and are stunned he is
still with plain old me. I get a warm feeling knowing he loves me
and nobody else knows the things about him that I do, that makes me
special right? I laugh as he starts getting frisky with me under
the table, but a drunken Sam is not as discrete as he normally was,
he’s damn loud too.

“I want you, I want you now, please Michelle, let me make love
to you tonight I want to be inside you, I love you baby so much.”
Oh my Lord and tonight he wants to do the deed, nice as that idea
sounded, I wanted a sober and nice first time.

“Come on then let’s get you home, Sam we have a list to start
and I need my book back to revise.” I grabbed a taxi, putting him
in it and we headed for his. He was sleeping, when we got home. I
struggled to get him out of the taxi and with the help of the
driver, we managed to get him sat on the doorstep, he just laughed
and kept on grabbing my bum and rubbing it better. I gave the
driver his money. He left laughing at the drunken heap on the
step.

“Doctor Sam will inspect the damage and rub it all better Mi
cielo.” I laughed as he got a hard on whilst I rummaged through his
pants for his keys, a nice long look through his
pockets.

“Oh baby do you want to play? I do and so does my willy, he
wants to play with his mate it here in these jeans, which you won’t
be wearing in a minute, get naked for you husband to be, wifely
one. I demand sex; I want my gift tonight can I have it now
please?” Great this is going to be hard.

“What
here on the doorstep baby in front of the neighbours?”

“Shush, they are looking at your sexy arse baby we can’t have
sex here, not in public… It’s on the list of places to fuck you in
though, I don’t think front doorstep is the same as the town hall
steps, we will get arrested if we do it there, come here you’re a
bad girl.” He stood up at the promise of sex. He wanted to do it on
the organ in his bedroom. I laughed no I wanted to make love on a
grand piano, not his brothers organ, oh hell I need to get him
upstairs.

Opening the door and somehow I got him up the bloody stairs
too, he did with the promise of the sex, a very tricky toilet stop,
I’m not holding that again whilst he toilets himself, it’s not as
nice as I thought it would be, he laughed all the way through it.
He’s damn hard work, my drunken Sam. He’s so playful and so loving.
I put him on the bed, taking off his shoes. He watched as I
undressed him, smiling like an idiot. My naked fiancé was indeed a
very nice sight to see. He had pyjamas in his drawers I managed to
get the bottoms on, and got him in bed.

“We have to have sex now Michelle, before you leave me, come
here baby, we are ready for sex.”

“I would love to Sam but, no thanks I think I will pass.” Shit
I said I’d pass.

“I love you never leave me, Michelle, stop with me tonight
please? I need a body guard, you are so beautiful and I have a hard
on again. I need a wank, I can’t sleep with a stiffy, you do it for
me please or fuck me with your mouth pleaseee, your fucking hot as
hell baby and mine thank you Miss Welles for going out with me, you
make me a better person, and I still need a wank.” Nice Sam very
nice.

“I’m marrying you I’m never leaving you Sam, and I can’t do
that to you, your drunk.” He was flat on his back and
smiling.

“Wanna bet? Watch, I have to do this every fucking night when
I leave your house, I do this see.” He showed me what he did and as
he did I got more than a little aroused, as he started the
onslaught of his own dick, I watched as he pulled and then he’d
stop, pull a little hard do it a little quicker and then slow and
long, he pulled it all the way back and invited me to play
too.

“Baby fuck me please I need help.”

“Really
you seem to be managing just fine, let me watch?”

“God Michelle get on me please I need your gift please let
me?”

“No baby
I want you sober and I want it to be memorable, but if it stops you
asking I will finish you off?”

“Fuck yes and the weekend, I still get the gift?”

“You do, do you want it gift wrapped?”

“No, but less talking your mouth isn’t working on him.” I
smiled as he shook it at me. He really was a nice sight to see. I
knelt between his legs and began sucking him, he was loud and as I
took him deeper he screamed for a quick release he warned me he was
near, begging for me to suck harder, he cried out in pain as I did
as asked and as I massaged his balls.

“Fuckkkk me baby Fuckkkk me argh harder yesss oh hell I’m
coming and there’s gonna be loads baby all yours. Michelle marry me
pleaseee. Arghhhh yesss Fuck yes…” He shook and quite hard too as
he said there was a lot and as the last of his milk was gone, he
collapsed on his bed smiling.

“Now that was the best you have done ever, and wow you get
better with me each time you do it. Do you know how many girls
wanted to do that baby? Fucking loads and I said no, you took that
from me you gave me my first one and for that I thank you. We will
be so happy baby. Please will you have my babies for me
Michelle?”

“Oh Sam of course I will, you have never mentioned kids
before, only joking about in the zoo with JJ, but yes I want your
babies, not too soon though, we need to see things and go places
but yes I want your children.”

“Umm we need to start practicing, and then we set a date for
the wedding, Christmas and snow? New Year in Vegas, or on a yacht
sailing around the tropics, anywhere you want just as long as we do
it soon.” I pulled up his pj’s and as he kissed me, he cuddled into
me.

He wouldn’t remember me agreeing to marry him in the morning,
nor the very surprising talk on children I always only ever wanted
one child, but with Sam, I want loads, he seems to want loads. I
lay at the side of him, as he fell asleep his arm holding me
tightly he slept and along with him I did too. I knew it was late
when Andy got in; he came bounding up the stairs. I couldn’t move
Sam was fast asleep on me. He was a dead weight, if I flipped him
over, and I could have, but he would have fallen off the tiny bed,
and hurt himself.

“He had a bit to drink and well now I can’t move him.” He
laughed, and then helped me free.

“What made him drink so much?” I shrugged my
shoulders.

“Relief it’s all over I think. He was angry he couldn’t stop
your dad hurting me.” He pulled me up.

“We both where, Mum is so different and that arse in there,
won’t know what’s going on for days. Come on, let’s get you home
Michelle, or your dad will be fuming with us.”

“Wait have you a pen?” He gave me one from his jacket, I wrote
‘two o’clock at college,’ on his hand. I placed his watch and the
loose change from his pockets and placed his wallet under the
mattress, I wasn’t having his dad take it!

“Remind
him it’s there and why, he’s too drunk to know that fucker could
take it!” He laughed.

“He would too, but he will have a headache in the morning!” I
took some paracetamol from my pocket and placed them on the bedside
table.

“Give him
three of them in the morning and that flat lemonade, he will be
fine!”

“Umm
looking after the boyfriend then?”

“Damn right I am, he needs it too, and he’s a funny drunk and
bloody hard work!” He walked with me home.

“Michelle what did Janet tell you in the toilet? I know she
told you things and well I really need to know before you tell
Sam?”

“Oh I know all about you and her, you Zoë and her, you provide
the bitch with a roof over her head, in your house for special
parties, and no, I don’t want to know about them, that’s nothing to
do with me. You paid her to keep away from Sam. How she used a very
gullible Sam to get you away from Zoë. How she used him and abused
him, by playing with mind and messing with him.

He was just a young and pitifully shy nineteen year old boy
who was emotionally stumped he was in search of love, he was messed
up at home his friends were all doing it and well she offered to
rid him of his virginity and to show him things. It’s hard to think
he had all that done to him at my age, at that age whether you’re a
girl or a boy your emotions are all new and are easily messed with
and she did it in the worst possible way, and all to get you and
for whatever her own selfish means were, she just seemed to be in
it to get you, with no thought to him at all.

She let her fucking boyfriend watch in the room you had built,
please tell me you didn’t watch him be humiliated, I can’t bear to
think of you doing that, I don’t think you even with all the dark
crap you have going on are that cruel, or you wouldn’t be paying
her off if you did? That’s what this did to him, his utter
humiliation at the thought of being watched by her fella and his
mates. Watching him and her together for a fun fuck, he was so
upset when he told me what she did.

He admitted that’s why he went with all those girls he did.
How he did them, I can’t believe he did that stuff for so long and
can’t remember who he’s had and how many Thankfully he had himself
tested and is praying he was covered, he says he was I have to take
it as you were his sparring partner you made sure? We will have to
face those problems should they come along.” He oh-ed, was I being
too open with him?

“Michelle he was covered, he doubled up. I’d a near miss once
and well he was sure he didn’t want kids with any of the slappers
stupid enough to sleep with him. Yes I did go with him he was fun
to be with, we shared a hobby for wants of a better word, not a
good word, but I had something to share with him, impart what I
knew he was desperate to be better, and with my knowledge he
learnt, all be it on the fucking market stalls.

He didn’t want to treat them to anything better than that, he
was as you said screwed up big time. Then he just stopped, he said
he’d done it to too many and it was enough, he had fallen for
someone and she was going to be different, and excuse this but you
are fucking unique, not different, he never said who you were and
where he met you, just that you were the one, and bugger me you
are. Sorry finish your tale I need to know because shit I screwed
up too.”

“She boasted to her fat little piggy friend about how she
tossed him aside like a piece of crap. He was a ticking time bomb
of pent up rage and if she had have told him about you two sharing
him he would never have recovered or have forgiven you, so you were
right to pay her off. The bile coming out of her mouth was horrid
the names she called him the things he wanted the things she held
back, but in the end, he wasn’t that fussed about her, he was
finishing it with her when he walked in on her. You know what he
found out and how he reacted… Badly…

He’s so messed up, you are too and much more than Sam is and
has ever been. I think you took what was meant for him, I’m not
sure Andy, because you’re harder to read than Sam, you hold more
back and don’t let anyone in, you deal with your pain in the way
you have sex, and no I don’t want details Andy, but that weak drunk
frightens you both, and I haven’t sussed why yet, but I will. I
know it’s bad and if you want to talk I’m here, but Andy you need
help all of you and soon?”

“Michelle, I have had twenty two years of being fucked up, at
Dad’s hands I don’t even go there, please it’s not a pleasant
picture and one your too nice to talk to about it, and it would
take years of therapy to sort my shit out. Sam and I well, yes we
are a mess, that’s why I paid off Janet your right. To keep him
safe, it’s what I do. Sam used that way was all because of me, and
yes, I feel guilty all the time about it. I managed to get this
Simon of hers transferred to a different branch of his bank, a nice
new one in France and she went with him, but he messed
up.

That’s why they are back using the house, which is mine and
she now pays proper rent to live there and work from there. I
bought the house as a shag pad, you were correct quite right Sam
didn’t suss I owned the house and still doesn’t know I own it, I’m
selling it anyway if she doesn’t start earning money from it soon
she won’t be able to pay the rent. She ran it and wants to run it
again as a party place for people like us. Well, I’d had sex with
her there too, as you know with Zoë and others, my own kind of sex,
not what you and him do. Much darker more physical, pain and
torture. I can’t tell you what I’m into its above your
understanding.