A Life Plan Without You. (69 page)

Alternatively, I ask my Gramps, who would give me his last
penny if I needed it. I prefer to earn my own though, it feels
better knowing I earned it, your brother has been a fucking
nightmare, and he has been told I don’t have to be bought things
but still he does it. So, Andrew it’s not my secret to tell. Your
money your secret and trust who you want with the knowledge, they
won’t hear it from me. I’m dead quiet in toilets, but I will
promise to say nothing you have my word. Sam you’re really quiet,
oh my you’re going to hurl, quick toilet.” He ran and he was
quickly followed by Andy.

I just made it to the toilet. Michelle thinks I was scared of
Dad before. Now I’m worse, I saw the look on his face he hates her.
He knows I love her and he is going to use her against me, she is
in danger! Yes, I was fine for the odd scuffle and whilst Michael
was there to make damn sure I wasn’t hurt, but he is up to
something and getting no money from me today, spells trouble
tomorrow. We will have to watch her keep her safe.

Christ just tell her dad he will sort it, but then he’s
involved and dragging someone else into this mess. Shit if anything
happens to her at his hands I will die, she may think she has it
covered but he is so evil. I saw that as we left, he’s out for
revenge. I love my babies fate thing too, she’s right I’m very glad
she went to Stockton Secondary, I wouldn’t have met her otherwise,
and all thanks to Jimmy mooning over her and for a hell of a lot
longer than he had us believe too, he’s fancied her for bloody
years not months, poor Jimmy! I throw up again the thought of not
having her in my life is killing me and Friday can’t come soon
enough!

“Why, the hell did you tell her everything Sam? She’s going
to want your money now you dick head. She will tell Zoë and Christ…
Why did you Sam?” I finished throwing up, wiped my mouth and went
out, rinsed my face and mouth.

“Andy shut it… Michelle and I, we have no secrets, because I
am marrying her and she isn’t a gold digger. She hasn’t let me pay
for much of anything, she gets quite mad if I do, as to Zoë she’s
not that palsy with her in case you hadn’t noticed, remember the
falling out? She knows family business is just that so shut it, she
is family as far as everyone else is concerned, what’s your problem
with her Andy?” He shrugged his shoulders.

“Not sure Sam… She… Well I don’t know, but tell her to keep
the money thing to herself! You trust her but I’m still working out
who I can trust Sam.”

“I don’t have to tell Michelle to do anything, she isn’t
stupid Andy, did you not listen to her tell you, it was your secret
not hers? My God after all she’s done and gone through why do you
have to doubt her?” We went back I felt a little better, but shit,
my head was exploding. Michelle asked Andy when we got back to
phone for Aunty to come and get us. Sitting waiting for Aunty to
come Michelle has a rant about it being her fault, we can’t get it
through to her, that she changed our world for the better. She held
me tightly reaching for Andy’s hand too. He pulled his hand away.
That; I found strange. Why didn’t he like Michelle? She noticed his
actions, but simply smiled.

Andy looks at her again and he looks at her his eyes stirring
into hers, shit why did I not see it before? He’s has the same look
Jimmy has when he looks at her crap, he’s fallen for Michelle and
he knows she’s mine. I knew he joked about it before and Michelle
sort of said he fancied her, that night in her long and sexy rant
at me! He’s made a pass at her and she hasn’t said anything? I
remember the chat she had with us after the incident! ‘There’s
lot’s I will do to protect those I love, whether it’s fighting
their corner, keeping their secret or being there when they need
me!’ That makes sense now too; I did wonder when she said
it.

She also said he wished she was marrying him after last
night! I should hate him, but I can’t! I look at my girl and the
effect she has on my brothers, my mother and aunty. She’s a Todd
family snake charmer I laugh to myself she calls my soldier, a
snake. Shit she doesn’t know the power she has. I am so lucky. I
wish my head would calm down, it’s feeling worse if anything? I
wonder how mum has been today? I’ll soon find out Aunty is
here.

I asked Andy when he got back to phone for Aunty to come and
get us, a taxi won’t take him throwing up. Sam was so pale and I’d
say in shock, he isn’t strong enough to stand up to his Father but
I insist he is and that he does it, because he needs to face his
demons but with a proper councillor helping him not just his young
and inexperienced though well-meaning girlfriend, I should tell Dad
and he will sort it and him in the same right hook. What have I
done to him, he needs proper help to talk to someone, but if I
mention it, again I’m going to start sounding like a cracked
record?

“All this is my sodding fault. I am so sorry all this is my
fault I can’t help but think if I hadn’t just shut up everything
would be fine.” They both looked at me.

“Why did you make him hit you, were you bad? All you did was
make him something nice to eat. He crossed the line, that’s fine if
he wants to do that to us, but it’s not to do it to you and if you
hadn’t spoken up and shouted, Mum would still be there and in
danger.” I held him in my arms. Reaching for Andy’s hand too but he
pulls it away. I laugh, but carry on hugging Sam.

“No angel it’s not all right for him to hit any of you ever.”
Andy looked at Sam and I, he looks hurt and I feel so sorry for
him, he has suffered far more than anyone else. This family is in
need of some sort of therapy thing and quickly they need to get
their lives back together. One thing is for certain, they need to
sort out their living arrangements. Sam is not going back to that
house and his dad tonight, or ever. Aunty came Sam sat in the back
and I climbed in by his side.

“You too, you’re not facing him alone.” Amazingly, he didn’t
argue and got in. Aunty Allison looked at me.

“I’ll explain when we get in, I promise.” Sam got out of the
car and we walked in silence into the house. “Jimmy be a love and
put the kettle on please.” He looked at me and did as I asked. “We
had a run in with their Dad or basically I did when he came in the
pub. Sam, Dad and I were in there, and in he walked barking orders
at poor Sam. I think the shock of the past few days has finally hit
home, you know what’s in store for him and all of you. Dad had him
for calling me a tart and a bitch and he marched off towards home
followed by Dad, but he was in a foul mood and I didn’t think it
was safe for them to go back tonight sorry.” She came across and
sat by Sam. He put his head against her chest and cried she cradled
his head as he wept. I got up quietly and went to help Jimmy with
the drinks.

“Sorry Jimmy, I bet you’re pissed off with me too aren’t you?”
He looked at me and smiled.

“Why what have you done? You didn’t do this, Dad should have
kept his hands to himself, as it is I was only hit a couple of
times and then only to get Sam to pay up. Those two got it every
day, if it wasn’t hitting out it was mental abuse, if it wasn’t
that, it was their money. They have loads complain about, but they
never do ever. They saved me from many a clobbering by getting it
themselves. I wondered what it would take for Mum to snap out of it
and that something was you.” I was shocked.

“I didn’t know he was as cruel as he was until Sam told me a
few things when he was drunk, then Andy spilled a few secrets back
in the pub, he really is a sick bastard and one you’re all better
off without. I knew he was a drunk and a violent drunk too. My dad
has a skin full, throws things has arguments, goes to bed and sulks
or comes home loaded with takeout from the chip shop. No wonder Sam
said he wanted me to meet the normal side of the family they are
kisses and cuddles. He’s smelly and smacks.” I smiled. “Well, it
will be sorted soon, and then it’s up to you if you go to see him
or he rots on his own and it’s no more than he deserves too.
They’re all nice and well mannered, you umm, you not so much Jim
Bob.” He smirked at me.

“I just fell for the wrong girl that’s all. You’re better for
Sam than me, you’re way too old for me up there, and he’s always
been a worrying old man. He had to grow up and damn fast dealing
with Dad and what with Andy being away from the house a lot.” He
pushed my head playfully. “Who’d have thought that about Hair
Bear?” I punched his arm. I actually liked the new Jimmy, a whole
lot more.

“Drinks please waiters.” Sam was at the back of me his arms
around my waist, He was red eyed, but more relaxed and he felt nice
as he leant into me. “You two have been in here too long, we
thought you were growing the tea or going to India for it?” He
smiled.

“No, we were just chatting about college and whether it’s
worth me going in tomorrow. I just have hockey and they have a sub
they can use.” I lied, because I didn’t want him to know what Jimmy
had just told me.

“You're going to be there with bells on, with a cheerleading
line up. Well, me and Jimmy.” I loved him even more, if that were
at all possible?

“Can we talk in the garden please? I need to tell you
something.” Jimmy grinned as he disappeared through with the
drinks. Ours were on the side, taking them out and drank them whist
sat on the back wall. “Are you all right now? I was worried about
you, I’m so sorry I wouldn’t want him to hurt you, I love you, and
I don’t think Dad would have let him hurt you either he sort of
likes you.” He put his drink down and stood in front of
me.

“You mean the world to me I couldn’t cope with all this if you
weren’t here. I know Jimmy filled you in. I listened to the whole
conversation you both had. I was just worried, in case he went
weird on you again. It is quite the reverse, it may be the best
thing for him leaving Dad, when did you get so clever?”

“Angel, I have always been a smart arse, more eighty in the
head than eighteen, and more helpers in there than they employ in
Woolworths and well I intend to be a chef in the kitchen and I hope
to be, as they say a whore in the bedroom.” He looked at me
catching flies. He lent in and kissed me his hands cradled my face
as he does, with more than a few tears from both of us. I wrapped
my arms around his waist. His kisses are so soft and inviting, he's
pulling me in for more. “How do you feel about, I mean, will you
marry me Sam not keep it secret a proper engagement? You having to
ask Dad sort of occasion Sam? Say yes to a Christmas wedding, or
New Year one at the latest and live in sin before we do? Will you
marry me, note I’m asking you and I’m sober, and you’re just hung
over, and so no excuses for forgetting this time?” He looked
surprisingly at me and smiled.

“What you want to marry me, you really do want to marry me?
You said you would last night, but you wanted it just between you
and me until after your exams? We can tell people make it official,
are you sure? Marrying you at Christmas sounds wonderful.” He was
grinning like a mad man.

“Straight up and yes. If you haven’t had it with me causing
uproar in your life?” He swung me around and let me down against
him His kisses so needy and his hands wandering. “There’s a time
and place Sam, time and place.” He smiled.

“Yes a definite yes, so can we tell everyone please, then a
weekend away? I need to test the whore in the bedroom theory I’m
thinking you're more high-class escort, than whore Missy? I think
good news is what everyone needs, especially Mum. I love you.” He
ducked the smack for the escort comment. I was at the receiving end
of another of his kisses. He held my hand tightly as he sat down on
the couch and I sat on his lap. Here goes…

“Michelle and I have some news we want to share.” Jimmy
interrupted.

“You’re pregnant?” I blushed.

“No, I am not, you horrid boy.” I sat laughing at
him.

“We are getting married at Christmas.” Sam hugged
me.

“Worst kept secret in the world, all soft, lad said last night
was how it would be different when you got married.” I
laughed.

“That’s why you shouldn’t drink dear total memory loss is a
bugger. Is that why you made the comment in the exam today?” Jimmy
smiled.

“Yeah, Andy phoned to see if Mum had been all right and did we
need anything and we had a good laugh at it Sam and his sleep
talking. Like you’d marry him, but we were wrong apparently you’re
both as stupid as each other.” I threw him a look. Emma and Aunty
the pair of them were grinning.

“My Son is getting married to our angel Allison I told you
they would.” They too were hugging and kissing us.

“I need to be getting back soon.” His arms tightly around my
waist as I snuggled into him, he smelt nice, I’d died and had gone
to heaven sat in his lap. Umm and his soldier was answering the
reveille.

“I thought you were stopping here with us baby?”

“Sam, it’s not like we’re not going to see each other,
tomorrow, I have a really big match tomorrow, and you are coming to
be my cheerleaders right?” Aunty stepped in.

“You can stop if you want? I’ve had a drink or three, oh well
about four, Emma and I have been looking at photos and reminiscing
on the good old days. So please, stop here with us I will be fine
to drive in the morning, I have to get James to class, and now you.
Sleeping arrangements, I will share with Emma all the photos are
over her bed anyway you two can have my bed. Andrew couch, and as
you’ve all got to get up in the morning bed now the lot of you, I
don’t know when Madams in probably in with the milkman.” I was
embarrassed. It was different sleeping with him in my bed, but this
was his aunt’s house and her bed. I waited with Sam for them all to
bugger off to bed. Andy was grinning like a Cheshire
cat.