A Life Plan Without You. (71 page)

“Oh damn you Sam, why do I love you so much? You’re all I
bloody think about all the time, I wish it was easy to walk away
from, look back and say you love me?” I read the letter
again.

“Please look back and say you love me?” I turned and he was
there sat on the top step. Those sad ebony coloured eyes were
staring back at me they were so lost as the tears had welled in
them.

“I do love you, still love you. This morning you really
frightened me.” He came and sat at my side.

“I don’t know what came over me. I know it was the stupidest
thing I could ever have done. Are you going to forgive me Michelle,
tell me you will?” I looked into his eyes and kissed
him.

“I love you so much, I can’t walk away from you we need each
other, I won’t leave. I’ve already said I’d marry you and the when,
I’ve given up all my plans, what more can I do?” He
smiled.

I watched as she played with her promise ring and as she did
I had a thought, and hoped it worked!

“You’re not giving up any of your plans Michelle. I will and
can follow you. Wherever you go, I go too.” I looked at him, I was
hooked I wasn’t going anywhere, not without him. He was down on one
knee.

“Please will you marry me Michelle?” He took my ring off its
finger and moved it over to my left hand ring finger.

“Yes, I’ll marry you, now get up and kiss me please.” He did
as I asked his kiss wow, such tenderness his tears for me forgiving
him and relief that I had. I too had actually calmed down enough,
to realise he was messed up. I needed to broach the subject of him
getting counselling and soon.

“Now, if you’d have bought me one of the stupid massive things
you were looking at, I would have said no. You can’t buy what you
already have, how many times do I have to tell you that before you
realise?” His kisses sent shivers down my spine. He laughed, as I
moved his ring over kissing it after I had.

Good job the bloody other ring is still in my pocket then,
along with the locket I wanted to give her yesterday, but he ruined
the day again…

“Have you time for lunch, baby?” I looked at my
watch.

“I have two hours to kill, let’s grab a sandwich from my work,
I have funny feeling they have replaced me, I asked for the time
off and miraculously, I get ill when I don’t get it? Oh, do you
have some money, I haven’t been home yet?”

“I’ve got some change in my pocket.” We made our way there, he
held me tightly his hand gripping my waist. “You’re all right if
you do lose your job I have enough for us both.”

“Do you want to piss me off again?” He shook his
head.

“Not on purpose, no, but I do like looking after you.” We
arrived at the shop. I gave him a kiss and he waited for me, I went
in.

“Oh Michelle Mum’s in the office she needs a word.” I looked
at him as I came out of the shop and smiled I had in fact been let
go. Two weeks wages and holiday pay.

“Good news, I don’t need to get up at stupid o’clock, and is
it’s the last three weeks of placement her Mum has passed me, given
me a glowing reference, so I won’t fail.” We grabbed some lunch
from the bakery and went back to the steps he wasn’t more than an
inch away from me at any time. He just kept smiling whenever I
looked in his direction.

“Here, the money for the things from yesterday, thanks.” He
didn’t want to take it, but thankfully he did. “You learn quickly
Mr Todd. Thank you, look after this.” I gave him my wage packet. “I
can’t take it on the field with me can I?” He popped it in his
jacket. We sat on the steps on the field whilst we sat and ate our
sandwiches, the sun shining, and all was right with the world
again. Yeah, and the pigs are flying, shit when did my life get so
bloody complicated? I had to go, I was on in half an hour, and I
need to get some practice. He walked me down the hill, and waited
with the rest of the spectators including a smiling Jimmy, who Sam
hugged. That I thought was so nice and laughed when Sam got a
bloody thump off Jimmy and a lecture, judging from the
frown.

“Right girls their teams arrived let’s get out and set up.
Michelle you, Karen, Mandy, Michelle, and Tasha do some shoot and
save practice.” We set up the goals I put on my kit. Today’s game
was the semi-final, one more game after this and my hockey playing
days were alas over, unless they had a team in uni, I hadn’t asked,
they didn’t play on the field so I highly doubted it? Mandy and I
practised, she smacked one at me I imagined the ball to be Dennis’s
head. They went flying straight across the field, the referee
smiled as she watched it pass by her feet.

“Right balls off the field please, and bully off.” The game
started I had nothing to do, only bark orders from goal. The ball
was flying towards me. Blocked, dropped and kicked to their half,
Mandy picked it up. She dropped to her knee and pushed it into
their open goal.

“Yes, well done.” That was the first of four more. Half time,
we had a good lead, but their fans were now around my goal. I
recognised one of the young girls as Sam’s ex’s from the club. Oh
my, in the light of day she looks similar to me, he is forgiven,
and to a drunken Sam, we would look alike. “Hello might I suggest
you move it’s dangerous behind here.” She and her friends moved. My
mask hid who I was, but she had spotted Sam and Jimmy and was
heading towards him. I concentrated on the game that bitch, I would
use as a source of anger. They got a lucky break, Michelle had lost
her focus on the ball and panicked and shot it in my direction,
swiftly kicked in the direction of the girl, right on her back
leg.

“Yes, now move bitch.” I had another shout for
Michelle.

“Move over swap with Karen.” They swopped, as, I barked out
orders.

“Karen, watch the girl to your right she’s gunning for you.”
The girl managed to hit a ball at Karen it went flying behind me,
so I retrieved the ball. No doubt, she’s probably had her fella
too.

“Right Karen to you.” I pushed it to her and she sent it
flying to Ellie, Mandy took it sent it back to Karen, a goal. The
whistle blew, we won, five-one, I let one in as the girl, had
walked towards Sam, I was not watching. The Finals were in two
weeks we’d done it. I ran to the rest to celebrate, we were on a
high and the girl was heading back to Sam.

“Excuse me fiancé to protect.” She was nearly at him when I
launched a ball in his direction.

“Can I have my ball back please?” I removed my mask and pads.
She now recognised who I was.

“Hello you.” Pulled into his arms, as she looked on, he kissed
me.

“You, you’re a bit of a bully on the field aren’t you Missy?”
I smiled.

“Not without good cause, I have a wide advantage point and can
see the players and where they need to be. I see all and know all,
there’s nothing new it that either, before you say something
Jimmy.” I turned to the girl. “Hello Miss, can I help you with
directions, to get the hell off my field?” Her mates were egging
her on to fight, as I had hurt her earlier. “Please… You really
want to go there? Bring it on and whoever else wants to try, your
more than welcome? You young lady were warned my fiancé is off
limits.” They moved off the field, oh that was good. I didn’t need
to fight.

“Rocky strikes again.” Jimmy was laughing.

“Give me two minutes to change, I stink will be as quick as I
can, your quiet Sam?” He spoke.

“That was the girl you gave the champagne to from the club,
she’s a little bit like you, but not, hell I’m never drinking
again.”

“She looks similar to me Sam with the badly permed hair
perhaps, and we’re both your college groupies.” He looked visibly
shocked looking at her and then back at me. I laughed and went to
shower and change. I changed into the cream dress and tights and
shoes put all my dirty gym stuff and uniform in the bag and headed
out.

“You look nice Michelle.” Tasha shouted at me. Kelly P looked
at the dress.

“A little bit too froufrou for me.” I laughed at her. Bet she
gets one for her party Saturday.

“I like it and Sam loves it and they are the only two
opinions, I care about too. I’d ask you if, I gave a shit what you
thought Kelly.” Tasha was in hysterics as I shouted at Kelly, I was
at last sticking up for myself, I waved to Tasha, and I went out to
meet Sam. Since being with Sam, my confidence had grown. I was a
hell of a lot more vocal when I was challenged and when the girls
or lads I’d hated for so long, when they made snide comments, my
smart mouth would have them looking like fools. He pulled me into
his arms and kissed me, breaking free I sighed, his kisses seemed
to get better and more intimate with each one. I wonder if you can
die from lack of this particular drug?

“Mine first Sam, I need to drop these off and get changed come
on.” Mum was out at Pat’s she hadn’t stepped through the door since
our last spat. Mum now does her lapdog impression at Pat's house.
Jimmy looked around the room and smiled, I bet he’s seen this room
from the other side of the window a few times?

“Sit please, I won’t be a minute Becky, can you please make
them a drink, no winding Sam up please, if you want money you can
babysit for me Sunday. I will give you what Uncle Robert gives you
on top.” She grinned and said she would, I changed as quickly as I
could.

“Sam, are we meeting Andy in the pub and going up to your
Aunts from there?” I shouted down, he came up, as I was mid
underwear change.

“Nice view, my baby’s tits are fucking awesome. Whatever you
want, you are doing tea by the way.” I finished with the bra I
grabbed the yellow dress and shoes, as he shut the door.

“We have time for that, and my tits are awesome? When did you
finish pervert high school? You are uncouth erh, my fiancé is a
perv.” His hands massaged them through my dress.

“Perv? Not so much, but your boobs are nice to play with, and
they are all mine, just mine baby. How’s that any better Mi cielo?
I always have time for this but no this is for you.” He stopped
playing with ‘the tits’ and gave me a box, with a red ribbon round
it.

“This is for what exactly?”

“Open it and find out, please Mi cielo.” I undid the ribbon
and pinned it to my poster I opened the box, nestled on the velvet
cushion lay a beautiful Platinum locket, it was exquisite and the
engraving was beautiful, with my initials in the centre.

“Open it please you won’t let me buy you a ring, so this will
have to do until you change your mind, Michelle I was giving you
this yesterday but well things with Dad ruined the day I hope you
like it, and don’t shout it was sitting there saying buy me, so I
did.” The engraving is beautiful ‘I will love you, always and
forever. Sam x’ I smiled as I looked at it he kissed my neck. The
words were beautiful, and along with the cute photo of us at the
zoo, he made me cry, again. I’d forgotten about those photo’s when
did he get them done?

“Your memory is crap Sam. This is though really pretty and I
love you too...” He looked at me smiling his thumb wiped away the
tear.

“What’s wrong with my memory, I forget?”

“That you’re too generous for your own good and you spent
money too freely and too often, buying me things that you don't
need to, but it’s very pretty thank you. Can you put it on for me
please? Thank you it’s really nice, but it's the last thing you get
me. Come on those two will be listening for noises.” I grabbed a
tee shirt and shirt for Jimmy one’s that Sam had left. I opened the
door laughing at Sam faking bed movements and went down.

“Put these on Jimmy please, and pass me your grubby top, what
do you do in college to get this dirty?” He did and wow, he looked
more like Sam than I had noticed before. I put his things in my
bag.

“I had an arsehole messing around in my mechanics class, and
he threw some sump oil and I was in the firing range, stop
mothering me Mum does enough of that, and now I have Aunty too. I
love it though they are spoiling me between them.” He’s laughing
loudly and smiling, such a change.

“Becky tell Mum I’m out tonight and back early tomorrow, I
have another exam.” Sam was coming down the stairs, laughing. He’s
easily pleased my damn fool fiancé. We made our way to the pub, I
loved the change in Jimmy he is so different but Sam is still a
work in progress. I took my shoes off and ran across the field,
they followed, Sam laughing because Jimmy couldn't catch me,
putting back on my shoes they caught up, I laughed as Jimmy watched
Sam spin me around and give me a kiss.

“For God sake do you to ever stop?” We were in unison as we
said, no, and we never will. We arrived at The Frog where we met
Andy I sat down and I smiled because Jimmy looked like the nervous
one now.

“Have you never been in here, with the drunken two?” He shook
his head.

“No, they don’t bring me out with them, ever.”

“Well, and only If you want? We can go to Heaven on Friday,
after class and I could invite Ellie if you want?” He went a
glorious shade of pink.

“You’d do that after all I did?” I smiled

“I would, if you hadn’t fallen out of a tree we’d all still be
plodding along going nowhere, thanks.” I kissed his cheek and went
to the loo. When I got back, Sam whispered in my ear.