A Table for Two (28 page)

Even though they were hundreds of miles apart, she felt warm all over remembering the love in Ridley's eyes and the tenderness in her touch. It was something she'd never felt from Sarah, or from anyone else. The more she thought about Ridley, the more she realized she missed her.

As soon as Dana pulled into her parents' driveway and turned off the car, she doubled over with an attack of laughter as she pictured her life with Sarah and the baby. She pounded her fists on the steering wheel and guffawed so hard tears fell down her face. With each labored breath, she blew another memory of her past with Sarah right out the car window where it was carried all the way to Lake Michigan by the famous Chicago winds. It felt good to say goodbye.

As she sat behind the wheel of her mother's Toyota, she made a few decisions. There would be no more secrets and no more lies in her life. She would never be friends with anyone who didn't accept her for who she was and she would never be involved with any woman who wasn't sure of her sexuality. And she swore to tell her family she was a lesbian before she stepped on the plane that would take her home to Philly.

THE NEXT MORNING, Dana awoke to her parents' voices and the clanging of pots and pans. The aromas of coffee and bacon wafted over her nasal passages and made her stomach grumble with hunger. That's what got her out of bed. After a quick splash of warm water on her face and two minutes with her electric toothbrush, she threw on her jeans and a tee shirt and went downstairs.

Her father sat at the breakfast table reading the paper, so she went to him and planted a kiss on the top of his partially balding head. "Hey, Dad, what are you doing home? I thought you'd be at work."

"I decided to take the morning off to spend some time with my favorite chef," he said. "Next to you of course, my dear," he called out for the sake of Dana's mother who stood at the stove tending a couple of sizzling frying pans. "Maybe I'll go in to work later on or maybe I won't go in at all. We'll see."

Dana kissed him again. "Thanks for staying home this morning. It's been a long time since we've had breakfast together."

"Too long if you ask me," he replied.

Dana walked over to the stove and kissed her mother on the cheek. "Good morning, Mom. Speaking of breakfast, I'm famished. What are you making?"

"Nothing special, just eggs, bacon, home fries and toast. Get a cup of coffee and sit down and I'll have your eggs done in just a minute. You still like them done the same way you used to, don't you?"

"Uh-huh...over light, so I can dip my toast."

"That's the way your father likes his eggs." Dana's mother informed her of this fact as if she didn't already know. As soon as Dana had moved out of her parents' home her mother had started telling her things about her family like she was a total stranger who'd appeared out of nowhere instead of someone who'd spent the majority of her life living with all of them.

"I know that. We always have our eggs over light." Dana poured herself a big mug of coffee from the carafe on the counter and went to sit next to her father. She groaned after she took a big gulp of the aromatic brew. "Good coffee, Mom."

Her father let the top edge of his newspaper droop down and he winked at Dana from behind his reading glasses. "Like father, like daughter." He set his paper down and sized her up for a while until Dana's mother put their plates down in front of them. When her mother joined them at the table, he began to ask questions.

Once his curiosity was satisfied and they'd caught up on family matters, Dana knew it was time. She finished the last of her coffee in one gulp and cleared her throat. "Mom and Dad, I need to talk to you about something." Dana fiddled with her fork and pushed a little scrap of egg white around on her plate. "It's something important to me, something I need to tell you."

"What is it, honey?" Her mother's face appeared worried.

"Is something wrong, Dana?" Her father dropped the paper that he'd picked up again and pulled off his reading glasses.

Since she had their full attention and she'd run out of excuses, she told herself to get on with it. "There's been a lot going on in my life lately and I need to tell you..." Dana stopped and started all over again. "I know I should have told you this a long time ago because it's important. I hope you won't be disappointed in me."

"We're your parents. We could never be disappointed in you," her father said. "And we got the part about it being important, so why don't you just say whatever it is you have to say?"

"You know you can tell us anything," her mother added.

"This is ridiculous." Dana took a deep breath. "I'm gay. I'm a lesbian. That's what I wanted to tell you. I've known it since high school. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I wanted to, but I've been scared until now."

"Oh, honey, is that all?" Her mother was the first to respond. "I'm not surprised. In fact, I suspected as much a long time ago. In fact, I..."

"Damn it all to hell! Are you sure?" Her father stood up so fast he knocked his chair over, causing it to crash onto the tile floor behind him. His face was beet red, his eyes were bulging out of his head and he seemed to be holding his breath. He glared at Dana's mother. "You never said anything to me. I never thought she was a lesbian."

"Now, dear, take it easy. You're..."

Dana's father cut his wife off and addressed Dana. "I thought you just hadn't met the right guy or you were too busy to date." His eyes darted back and forth between Dana and her mother until they settled on his wife. "Why didn't you tell me about this since you'd figured the whole thing out? Why am I always the last one to know what's going on in this family?"

"Well, dear..." Before Dana's mother could even respond to her husband, he went back to talking to Dana.

"You're just confused. Why don't you talk to a therapist there in Philadelphia? I know they're expensive, but I'll pay for it if you can't afford it."

Based on the way he looked, Dana feared her father might blow a fuse. "Thanks, but I don't need to talk to anyone. Besides, any decent therapist would only help me to accept myself and I've already done that, so why spend the money? I know who I am and I want to live an open and honest life. I don't want to lie and I want my parents to know who I am and what's going on in my life. If I find someone I'd like to share my life with, I want you to know her and welcome her into our family. Maybe I'm asking for a lot, but that's what I want."

"Maybe you are," her father said. "And maybe it is too much to expect other people, including your family, to accept everything about you." He pounded his hand on the table in between every four or five words. "Some things are better left unsaid."

"I'm sorry, Dad. I'm tired of keeping secrets and I don't know how to do this except to just come out and tell you both the truth. Are you terribly upset with me?"

"I'm in shock, that's what I am. I wasn't expecting this kind of news out of the blue like this. Apparently, I'm not as observant as your mother is, but then I never was. She always has to explain things to me, especially these kinds of things."

"Now, dear," Dana's mother said. "I wasn't sure and it wasn't for me to tell you."

He ignored his wife and spoke to Dana. "Hell, I've been waiting for years to dance at your wedding, but I guess that's not going to happen, is it? For a minute there, I thought you were going to tell us you were getting married."

"I'm sorry, Dad. I can't change who I am."

"I know that, damn it." He glanced at Dana briefly as he lifted his chair from the floor and slid it back under the table. "I can't talk about this anymore, not right now. I think I'll go in to the office for a while, after all. I'll catch you both later." He waved behind him as he fled the scene.

Dana stood up. "I love you, Dad," she called out after him, not knowing what else she could say. She looked at her mother. "Should I go after him?"

"Let him go. He's not listening anyway. He handles things better when he goes off by himself. He has to think. Later, after he calms down, I'll talk to him."

"Thanks, Mom."

"Sit down. I have something I'd like to say."

"Okay." Dana sat at the table and her mother joined her.

"I've loved you since the first time I held you in my arms, even before that, and I'm not about to stop now. I don't think there's anything you could ever do that would ever change that. I want you to be happy and as far as I'm concerned, anyone you chose to love will be welcome in our home and in our family."

"That means a lot to me." Dana got up, walked around the table and threw her arms around her mother. "I love you too."

"Honey?" Dana's mother leaned back in her chair and looked up at her. "Have you met someone special? Is that why you're telling us this now?"

"You don't miss much, Mom. I have met someone." While she went back to her seat, images of Ridley flashed through her mind like a slideshow of digital photos. She saw herself kissing Ridley on the beach, she saw Ridley's eyes as they made love, Ridley's long eyelashes resting on her cheek as she slept and the downy fuzz along her jaw line, visible only in the morning sun. "Mom, she's really, really nice."

"I'm happy for you, honey. I'd like to meet her someday."

"You will and thank you for saying that." In her mind, she went back to the night they first met. At the time it hadn't entered her mind that Ridley would alter her life forever and yet, she'd started an avalanche of events that ended up changing everything Dana had accepted as her life. She pictured herself in bed with Ridley, their bodies joined like two fitted pieces of a puzzle and she felt her face grow hot.

She snapped out of it and forced herself back to reality as soon as she realized her mother was waiting for her to say something. "Do me a big favor, Mom. Don't mention this to Donna at dinner this evening. I'd prefer to tell her myself."

"I won't. I promise." Dana's mother said.

"And please ask Dad not to mention it."

"Don't worry, he won't bring it up. It would be too much for him to handle." Dana's mother winked at her. "Men are such cowards. Now, go and get us both another cup of coffee because I've got questions."

Dana got the coffee pot and brought it to the table. She filled her mother's cup to the brim and then her own. "What else are we going to do today?"

"Don't tell me you're spending the day with your mother?"

"That's the plan," Dana said.

"Well, that's a rare treat and I must say I'm delighted. First of all, we should plan the menu for tonight's dinner and make a list of what we need. Then you and I will need to go shopping."

"And then?" Dana asked although she knew what was coming next.

"And then I thought you'd help me cook. After all, we spent a small fortune to send you to culinary school and we should get some return for our money, don't you think?"

"I do think you should. I owe you big time and I'll start paying up tonight. We'll put on a fabulous dinner from soup to nuts that no one will ever forget."

"That's just what I had in mind. And I also hoped you could teach me how to make something seriously delicious that I've never made before."

"Me teaching you? That's a switch, huh, Mom?"

"Yes, but a welcome one. I can't wait to cook with my daughter, the chef."

"Thanks, Mom, but before we do anything, finish saying what you were going to say before about how you suspected I was a lesbian. How did you know and when and why didn't you say anything to me? I'd like to know."

"Okay. Want some more coffee?"

AS SOON AS Ridley and Laurie got to Laurie's house after work on Thursday, Ridley put her work bag down and made a decision. It had been two days since Dana had left for Chicago and Ridley was going insane not knowing what had happened. It was agony to wait and wonder and not know when Dana would return or if she would contact Ridley when she did. Even if Dana and Sarah were getting back together, Ridley wanted to know. "I'm going over to Café De Marco and see if I can talk to Tracy," she told Laurie. "She had to have heard from Dana and I want to find out what she knows."

"You should go," Laurie said. "Talking to her might make you feel better."

"I hope so. Maybe I can catch her before they open for dinner and she gets busy." Ridley put her work bag down by the door. "She might know what's going on with Dana and if there's no hope for me, I'd rather find out now."

"Let's hope that's not the case, but at least you'd know where you stand one way or the other." Laurie took her jacket off and hung it in the hall closet. "Will you be back for dinner? I hope so, because Karen has to work late tonight and I'd like your company. Besides, I'd like to hear what Tracy had to say."

"I'll be back in a couple of hours and I'll stay here again tonight if it's all right with you. But tomorrow I'm going back home after we get out of work. You've both been great, but I think I'm ready to tough it out on my own."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

RIDLEY RUSHED OVER to Café De Marco as fast as her legs would take her and walked around to the back. When she saw Tracy through one of the glass panels in the back door, she knocked and called out her name.

Tracy signaled for Ridley to come in.

"Hi, Tracy." Ridley saw Jimmy on the other side of the kitchen and greeted him as well. She closed the door behind her, entered the kitchen and walked over to Tracy. "Do you have time to talk to me, in private?"

"I thought I might hear from you at some point," Tracy said. She washed her hands, untied her apron and draped it across one of the islands. "Jimmy, do you mind taking over for me while we go upstairs and talk for a little while. We won't be long."

"No problem. You girls take your time."

"So what's on your mind, as if I can't guess?" Tracy asked Ridley once they were seated in her living room. "Forgive me for being direct, but you don't look good. You came to talk to me about Dana, am I right?"

"Yeah, you're right. I'm a mess, Tracy. I'm head over heels in love with Dana and I've already lost her. I'm afraid I can't compete with this Sarah person, whoever she is."