A Twist of Fate (9 page)

“This isn’t happening,” I told myself, but I knew it truly
was.  “You died when you were 6."

"And I've been with you ever since.  I know that if it
were me that had survived the crash, Edwin would have been mine.  You don't
love him the way I do.  It should be me."

"Leave Edwin out of this," I ordered, trying to
steer her away from him.

"Oh, but he is involved, whether you like it or not.  And
you will listen to me."

"And if I don't?"

She shrugged her dainty shoulder, as though she could
actually be considered meek or mild.  “Tessa's a good example of what will
happen if you try to mess with me.”  She glanced out the passenger window,
without displaying an ounce of emotion."

"No," I cried, softly.

"I had to take care of her.  How else was I going to
get Cameron to come back to his home town?  Pheobe’s lucky I was in a good mood
that night.  I would've liked to take care of her too."

"No," I whispered again, distraught by the entire
notion. 
Pheobe’s mother had died because of me.

"It had worked like a charm though, didn't it?"
she asked, pleased with herself.  "It took a little longer than I
expected, but I lured him here; to you.  I thought it was in the bag."

“What does Cameron have to do with this?"

“You seriously haven’t figured that out already.  Oh, Abby. 
I’ve given you too much credit.  Let's just say, you didn't meet by chance. 
When I discovered him some six years ago, I knew he was just the man for you. 
I may have had to take care of his wife, but they were on the outs
anyway."

I choked on a breath, suddenly feeling very ill.  The vomit
reached the back of my throat, but I swallowed it down.

"What's the odds that I would find him on our 18th
birthday?  It was so perfect.  I took it as a sign.  He was the one,"
Jenny said.

Tears flooded steadily down my face, but I was unable to
vocalize my emotion, only listening as the puzzle put itself together.

"That Pheobe, she's a fighter.  I thought for sure I
would’ve taken her by now, with all of her
accidents
.  You would’ve thought
after the river accident, her fall over the balcony would've done her in."

"Stop!" I screamed, my desperation echoing through
the car.

"Oh, you don't want to hear about the others?"

I sobbed, unsure whether I could handle anymore, but she didn't
wait for my approval.

"I knew Tanner Bradshaw was a long shot, but he did
look totally hot on the beach.  I couldn't believe you nixed him so fast.  You
really are a picky one.  I had to bring Wes in, just in case Cam wasn’t going
to work out for the long haul."

I began to wonder if my entire life had been all planned out
by Jenny.  "And Spencer?" I asked, desperate for answers.

"No.  You found that one on your own.  I knew he was
all wrong for you, but at least it killed some time for Cameron to breakdown
and move back here."

I glared at Jenny, as she stormed me with her secrets.  "Why
are you doing this?"

"I already told you.  Edwin's mine.  Leave him alone
and I'll leave you alone.  Don't, and you’ll be putting
everything
you
know and love at risk.  Your choice," she stated, then vanished in a pool
of black, swirling fog.

At the rate my head was spinning, I figured it must have
been all in my head.  I buried my face in my hands in an attempt to comprehend
what I had just learned, but I was so incredibly dizzy.  With a deep breath, I
tried to grasp reality, only to catch Jenny disappearing into the shadows of my
yard, her eyes flashing red.

Feeling at a loss for security, I hurried into my dark,
empty house.  I took my stairs with a running leap and closed my bedroom door behind
me.

Relying on the confines of my own room, to stave off the
horrid feelings looming over me, I crawled into my bed and hugged my pillow.  It
was so quiet that I couldn't fend off my loneliness, and it only got worse by
the time I heard a door close downstairs.  I buried my face in my soft,
fragrant pillow and hoped that it had muffled my sobs enough so Edwin couldn’t
hear me.

If he
had
heard me, he didn’t do anything about it. 
He probably didn’t even care.  I vowed I would get it out of my system tonight,
so I could have a fresh start in the morning.  I fell asleep with tears still
pooling in my eyes.

I awakened from a deep slumber, unsure about how much time
had passed.  I tried to stretch out my arms to let out a yawn, but quickly
realized that I couldn’t move a muscle.  There was a stifling weight pinning my
body and it made me feel paralyzed.  I began to panic, as I tried to move my
lifeless limbs.  Nothing happened.

I gasped for a breath but my mouth refused to open and I couldn't
escape the pressure now bearing down heavily on my chest.  Sweat poured from my
forehead and my eyes scattered over the space above my bed, as darkness
encircled me, slowly swallowing me into the shiny black vortex.

Suddenly, a loud squeal rang in my ears.  It sounded like a
screaming child.  I felt like I was being suffocated by an invisible force with
strength much greater than my own.  I tried screaming to Edwin, and used every
ounce of energy I had to try to move, but was unable to lift a finger.  I
struggled helplessly, fighting for my self-control, but I couldn’t save myself.

My eyes grew wide with madness and tears blurred my already
untrusting vision.  I tried to reign in my horror, but I was struggling to
stave off the hysteria.  Minutes ticked on like hours, as the blackness
continued to swirl around me like a dark, stormy night.  A hazy, colourless
ring of death enveloped me and transported me down a deep, dark tunnel, away
from life as I knew it.

A malicious presence continued to haunt me, just out of my
range of sight.  My mind shuddered, but my body remained limp, when I realized
that the abrupt pressure that had just thrust the air from my lungs was that
from a body.  My eyes strained from their sockets to look at the being pinning
me to my death bed.

I was relieved to find a beautiful, little girl, with pale
skin and golden-brown hair.  She was sitting very still on top of me and seemed
to be looking me right in the eye.  I wondered if it could have been Pheobe,
but I wasn’t able to get a good look at her.

I blinked and squinted, trying to make out her face when
suddenly her eyes began to glow red with anger.  The fog lifted and my eyes
froze open with fright.  I tried to scream and punch, but my efforts went
unrewarded.  The red glowing eyes slowly moved closer, until the familiar face
was only inches from mine. 
Jenny.

Her long, soft hair, tickled my face and sent vicious shivers
down my spine.  It was like I was looking at myself as a child.  She glared at
me even harder, looking deep into my soul.  I forced a blink and squeezed my
eyes closed, hoping to shrink away and shut her out of my lost mind.

Instead, too many memories came racing back to me.  I
screamed in horror, as I was forced to relive the night of the accident that
claimed my twin sister's life.

It was my birthday.  Jenny and I had just turned six.  We
were so happy, all smiles and giggles.  Our parents had planned an elaborate
surprise party for us, so my aunt took me and my sisters out for the
afternoon.  We didn't suspect a thing.  When our aunt was returning to our
house, that's when everything turned all wrong.

The accident happened so fast that I didn't even know what
had hit us.  But I would never forget the blood splattered all over the car
interior and the devastating shatter of glass when my aunt was ejected through
the windshield.

Jenny and I were in shock, just staring at the carnage
around us, hands clutched so tight that it was like we had been sewn together. 
Aubrey's cry quickly turned to a wailing scream, when no one came to her aid. 
That was probably what made the man decide to retrieve her first.

Aubrey's baby carrier had been forced upward and twisted
metal from her door separated us in the back seat.  A man appeared in the side
window, and the second he saw us, he diligently set out to rescue our screaming
baby sister.  Frantic and fumbling, he got the door open and retrieved her from
the seat.

Jenny pried at her door hysterically, but it wouldn't open,
and there was no other visible way out of the car.  I noticed a metal object
piercing through Jenny’s leg, attaching her to the wreckage, and I wondered if
she even knew that she was trapped.  Recognizing the reality of the situation, we
both began to cry, holding each other’s terrified stare, waiting for someone to
save us.  The man cleared Aubrey from the mangled car, then came back to us just
in time.

"My leg," Jenny cried, frozen in horror, when she
finally realized her damage.

The man caught her attention.  “Duck your heads,” he
hollered.

We both did, without question, but we never stopped crying. 
The man smashed out the window and climbed on the back of the car, reaching in
for me.  I slipped out of my seat, with nothing more than a scratch, but didn’t
let go of Jenny until the man pried our fingers apart.  He lowered me to the
ground and my boots crunched the broken glass beneath my feet.

“Run,” he yelled.

"No!  My sister!" I wailed, terrified for Jenny’s
life.

He leapt from the trunk of the car and rushed me, kicking
and screaming, to where my baby sister was wiggling in the wet, snowy grass.  What
the man didn't know at the time was that he only had time to save one of us. 
He chose me.

He knelt next to me, and ordered me to stay.  "It's not
safe near the car.  I’m going to save your sister,” he reassured me, “but I
need you to stay here.  Understand?”

I had nodded my head out of fear, and lost my eyes to the
wreck that was once my aunt’s car.  My aunt was lying unconscious on the ground
in front of it, my sister pinned inside, and all I could think to do was hush
Aubrey, my voice trembling between whimpers, as I stared at the man ripping at
the car, trying desperately to free Jenny from it.

The man kicked the car and howled.  "Where the hell's
the fire department."  He stomped quickly to where my aunt was thrown on
the ground and dragged her closer to us.  "She'll be okay.  She's
breathing," he assured me, though her arm was mangled and her face was covered
in a dark smear of blood.

He swiped his bloody hand over his forehead.  "I can't get
her out.  She’s stuck pretty good,” he told me.  “We'll have to wait for
help."

I could hear the faint sounds of sirens calling far in the
distance.  "Please, mister.  Help my sister," I begged.  I was afraid
for Jenny, and didn’t like her being left there all by herself.  She was scared
and injured and all alone.

The man shook his head, showing his defeat and helplessness,
but dutifully spun around to return to the demolished heap for his final
attempt to save my sister.  As he reached the car, there was a horrendous explosion
and the hood surged in flames.  The man stumbled backward, blocking himself
from the fire, unable to get anywhere near the car without injuring himself.

I screamed for what seemed like forever, as the sirens grew
nearer by the second.  "No!  No!  Jenny!"  I hitched Aubrey higher into
my arms and rocked her more aggressively, crying to myself, while Jenny's own
cries turned into a blood curdling scream.  I had sensed her death then, tasted
the blackness in my throat, but I could never prepare myself for that very
scream to haunt me for the rest of my life.

There was nothing I could do but watch the powerless man
pacing around the burning car, as Jenny - my other half - burned helplessly
inside it.  Her hysterical scream rattled my very existence.  I could see the
man struggling with his conscience, his face twisted in an agonizing frown, while
we waited for the fire department only a minute away.

What I would never forget was Jenny’s horrific shriek, and
then the awful moment when the screaming stopped.  That sound continued to
haunt me to this day and had consumed what was left of my childhood.  My own
parents were unable to look at me, without being overcome with sadness, and no
amount of therapy could ever repair the gaping, black hole inside of me.

I cried and cried.  And, though the force threatened to keep
me at that dark place deep in my mind, I decided I didn’t care.  Then suddenly,
the bedroom door flew open and my eyes opened against my will.  Edwin stormed
into the room, half asleep, with darkness swirling behind him like a fog of
energy.

I instantly regained control of my limbs, sprang from the
bed and spun recklessly around the dimly lit room.  "Where is she?  Where
did she go?  Where did Jenny go?" I repeated, hollering at the top of my
lungs.

Within seconds, I was crushed in Edwin's arms, crying
uncontrollably, and any remnant of darkness had disappeared from the room. 
Through tear-filled eyes I could see that we were alone, and though my heart
still raced with fear and horror, I could no longer sense Jenny's presence. 
She was gone.

"It's okay, Abs.  There's no one here," Edwin
said, hushing me.  "It was just a bad dream."  His voice was but a soothing
whisper.

"No," I cried, my sobbing mouth pressed against
Edwin's smooth chest, my left hand pounding on him.  "She was here.  And
she was trying to kill me."

I COULD FEEL THE one sunray that had
snuck its way through the edge of the blinds, before I even opened my eyes,
bringing with it a feeling of warmth and peace.  It was a new day.  That one
ray of sunshine had escaped the cold, but I wouldn’t be so lucky.  I scooped up
my phone and slipped back into my bed.  After rubbing my sore eyes, I checked
my messages.  The first text was from Edwin.

If you need a shoulder to cry on, you know I’m here for
you, Abs.

I think I re-read that message a good one hundred times
before gaining the nerve to check the next one that was from Cameron.

Abby, I am really sorry.  Please let me make things
right.  Will you meet with me today?  A public place is fine with me, if that’s
what you want.  I know we can work through this.

A tear choked my stone-dry throat.  What I wanted was a
baby.  If by
make things right
he meant giving me that, then I was game.

I replied to his message and agreed, knowing I wanted it to
work out as bad as he did.  Then I messaged Edwin to tell him that his shoulder
wouldn’t suffice.  I would need a gigantic bucket to collect all of my tears.

Satisfied that I was doing the right thing, I tossed my
blankets aside, swung my legs off the bed and dropped my phone into my purse. 
I stood up, stretched for the sky and yanked open my blinds, letting the
sunlight flood my room of shadows.  I walked past my dresser, stopped in front
of the mirror and poked at the dark circles under my eyes.

I frowned at my reflection.  "Oh, that's attractive." 
I considered covering it up before leaving my room, but decided against it.

Edwin knew I was ruined.  He had seen me at my worst before
and this would be nothing new for him.  I dragged my ass down the stairs,
clanked a bowl onto the table and snooped through the cupboards, not surprised
by how little food I found stocked there.

After one bite of my cereal, Edwin walked into the kitchen. 
"I thought that was you," he said, before asking me countless
questions that all went unanswered.

I slurped up what was left of my milk, rinsed out my bowl in
the sink and spun around to face him.  One sentence would give him the answer
to all of his hidden suggestions.

"We did not break up.  I just needed a night to think."

"If you say so."  He gulped back the rest of his breakfast,
then bumped past me.  "If you ask me though, you're in for trouble if you
need a break this early in the relationship."

I carefully shrugged my aching shoulders, then twirled
around to explain myself.  "We're having a difference of opinion, but it’s
nothing we can’t get past."

Edwin chuckled to himself and it kind of hurt my feelings,
but I wouldn’t admit that to him.  "I’m sorry, Abs.  But if anyone knows
how stubborn you can be, it's me."  He turned to face me, and I wished he
hadn’t set those aqua eyes on me.

"Thanks a lot.  You're really helping."  My
sarcasm effectively blocked the trembling in my voice, but I couldn't stop the
tears from coming.  Then, like a fragile child, I began to cry.  "I can't
believe I'm doing this in front of you,” I blubbered.  “It's so embarrassing."

“The last thing I want to do right now is upset you more.  I
was just afraid he hurt you," Edwin said, stepping toward me and taking my
hand.

He did.  Emotionally. 
"Cam would never lay a
finger on me.  He respects the woman that I am."

Edwin pulled me into his arms and nudged my head onto his shoulder. 
Those arms had always brought me so much relief in my times of need and now was
no exception.  I tightened my grip around him, but he broke my hold to look at
me.

"I've been known to lend a good ear, if you need
one," he said, not letting me get too close.

Yeah, I'm sure his good ear would love to hear what I have
to say.
  "I don't doubt you have a strong shoulder to cry on, but you’re
probably not the right person for the job."

"I’ve already let you wipe your snot nose all over my
shirt; tell me I’m not the right one.”

Those words hung between us and I couldn’t balance the
meaning, so I let out a snort, in an attempt to laugh, and it seemed to make
him happy.

"I have to get ready.  I promised Cam I would meet with
him today."

"Good luck with that."  His sarcasm was far from
thoughtful.  "At the risk of giving you good advice, maybe you should consider
not lying to yourself.  It doesn't make the truth go away, it only delays the
inevitable."

"In English?" I asked, snidely.

"You have a bad habit of holding on and trying to make
it work, when your stubborn ass never intends on giving anything up.  If it’s
over, just admit that it’s over."

I didn’t want it to be over. 
"If
I
hold
on too long, then
you
let go too easily," I snapped, without
thinking.  This had nothing to do with him.  I should have saved my words for
where they were needed; with Cameron.

"I'm not trying to get you all worked up,” Edwin said. 
“Just trying to help.  You do what you feel in your heart is right and I'm sure
it will all work out for you."

I rolled my eyes, officially aggravated, and stomped away. 
Shit
doesn't just magically work itself out.

***

I WALKED INTO THE local coffee shop
looking fresh and fine; though inside, I was a crumbling mess.  I anxiously
paused inside the door, combed my fingers through my winded hair, and lifted my
eyes anxiously to see if Cameron was there yet.

Looking straight to the back of the long, narrow shop, I
found him.  He was seated alone, at a small, shiny round table.  As our eyes
connected, he stood from his chair and his gaze was like an impenetrable force
field.  I couldn’t have stolen my eyes away from him if I wanted to, but I
didn’t want to.

In fact, I had a desperate urge to run down the aisle and
jump into his arms, to show him how much I still loved him.  I managed to stop
myself and instead remained completely composed.  This wasn't some joyous fairy
tale, where he'd tell me he wanted to give me babies and we'd live happily
after.  No, this was real life.  I had to be realistic.

I walked slowly and reservedly toward his table.  His sharp
eyes dissected me and I found it difficult to walk under his scrutiny.  My feet
stumbled but my heart was filled with fascination.  He was so stunning.  Anxiety
suffocated me, as I finished my awkward approach.  How was I supposed to greet
him?

Without a question, Cam opened his arms to me, his eyes
coaxing me to accept his offer.  I obeyed, collapsing in his arms from weakened
knees.  He held me so tight and swaddled me with love, as I inhaled his
unforgettable aroma.  I lifted my head from his embrace and looked up
expectantly at him.

"Thank you for coming," he said, taking my left
hand into his and intertwining our fingers.

A playful smirk crept onto my face.  "You knew I
would."

"Actually, I was afraid that you wouldn't."  He
sighed and lifted my hand to inspect the gorgeous ring that remained on my
finger.  "You're still wearing it."

"That's because I still love you," I said, finding
my strength.

Cameron smiled for the first time in what seemed like weeks,
and it was amazing to witness that all-encompassing smile again.  He brought
those masterful lips to my hand and pressed a kiss to my trembling fingers,
while those squinted eyes stole all my resolve.

"I love you, Abigail.  I can't lose you."

"You haven't lost me.  I'm right here," I
breathed.

I closed my eyes as his mouth brushed mine, and his hand
smoothed tenderly over my cheek.  I trembled from the electricity that unified our
irrefutable bond and relished that gentle touch.  Cameron tilted his head to
deepen the kiss, expressing all of his unspoken feelings with his mouth.  When
Cam stopped, he pressed his lips tight together, squeezing his eyes shut.  I
tucked my chin in, hiding close to his chest, as my cheeks turned multiple shades
of pink.

Cam ignored the gawkers and cupped my warm cheek to bring my
emerald eyes up to his.  "What do you say we go for a walk?  It looks like
a pretty nice day outside."

The sun had taken the chill out of the day, even with the gusty
wind blowing the snow around.  I nodded, not sure what else to say.  Cam clasped
my hand tighter and pulled me outside.  I snuggled beneath my baby pink scarf
to block the snow that sprinkled over us when we left the overhang of the
building.  We stood on the edge of the curb, then darted through traffic to
cross the road.

Cam’s pace slowed as he led me toward the river.  "I miss
you," he said, with a sigh.

Those words felt like molten lava warming my body all over. 
"Me too."

Urgency clawed at me, as Cam’s fingers tightened around
mine.  He scoped out a private place, devoid of wind, and swiftly tugged me out
of the public eye.  He tucked me against an old brick building, the low
overhang providing a ledge of protection from the weather, and bundled me in
close, his nose nuzzled against mine.

He brushed his hand down my cheek, sending pleasant shivers
down my spine, then kissed me softly.  "I missed this," he told me,
as he kissed me again.

The cold wind blasted around us, blowing my brown tangled
hair in my face.  Cam gently swept it away with his fingers, so he could resume
kissing me.  He devoured my loneliness and delivered me to a dream state.  It
was all flowers and sunshine all of a sudden.

Cam drew my eyes open, his forehead wrinkled, and a crooked smile
spread across his face.  "Turns out it's a little too cold for a walk
today," he said.

Knowing what he was insinuating, I embraced my cunning self.
 "I haven't warmed you up enough?"  I caught when his eyes zeroed in
on my mouth.  Using the tip of my tongue, I traced the length of my upper lip,
then bit my bottom lip to swallow my desire.

"Maybe a little too much," he replied, pressing
himself against me.  He kissed me again, harder this time, provoking a need
that went far deeper than I wished to admit.

"Will you come home with me?" he begged.

"Yes," I rasped, as if he had just popped the
question.

With a slanted smile, he locked onto my fingers and we hauled
ass to his car.

***

WAS IT SO BAD for me to engage in a moment
of inexplicable ecstasy with this handsome man that I still called mine?  Forgetting
about our problems hardly helped the situation, but we had decidedly torn each
other’s clothes off, skipping foreplay, and got right down to it.  I took all
of him and my life shattered in his hands, until I was replete, complete and
sore in all the right places.

Still wanting to feel the weight of him against me, I rolled
over, lifted the thin sheets over our naked bodies and pulled him close.  I snuggled
back against him, closed my eyes on a tear and passed out from exhaustion.

My brain was still foggy after my sex-induced nap, but
reality slowly crept back in with a vengeance.  I had taken what was mine, but
I knew it was of no use.  No seed had been planted.  I had to remind myself
that there was no seed.  Cameron could never give me my dream.

If it’s over, just admit that it’s over.

Cameron walked through the doorway and crawled back into
bed, facing me.  "You're awake," he said.

"Mmm, hmm,” I mumbled, softly.

His fingers teased over my cheek.  "Will you stay with
me tonight?"  He expected me to say yes, even though we both knew it was
wrong on so many levels.  “Just one more night?”

As in, after that there would be no other nights?
  I
didn’t like the sound of that, nor could I say no.  I nodded and slid my hands
over Cam’s chest.  "How long have you been up for?"

"I never fell asleep.  I was just thinking.”  He paused,
with a sigh.  “I saw you talking to Edwin yesterday.”  Cameron pulled away from
me and dressed very quickly.  “What did he want?"

I fumbled out of bed and slipped into my clothes, taking the
hint, and replied hesitantly.  "Nothing really.  He was going out for
lunch and asked if I'd come along."

"It looked like something to Taylor," Cam accused,
as he walked across the room, putting more distance between us.

I chased after him, stunned by his sudden rudeness again.  "You
have no reason to act jealous like that.  It was nothing."

"Nothing,” he repeated.  “Just like what happened
between you and Owen."  When he glared at me, it was like he stuck me in
the chest with an ice pick.

“Are you suggesting I'm cheating on you?"

"I don't want to believe it, but it sure doesn’t look
good from where I’m standing."

He obviously doesn’t trust me anymore, so why did he take
me home with him? 
I waved at the rumpled sheets.  “All this today, for
what then?"

Cameron had already thrown in the towel.  “I would never
deny that you’re a nice fuck.”

I couldn’t believe the words coming from his mouth.  I
refused to.  I dug my fingers into my forehead to dull the sharp pain now
striking my skull.  When it didn’t work, I sighed, hoping it would air dry the
tears in my eyes.  "If you didn’t want me around Edwin, all you had to do
is say so.  You coming at me like this, though… it isn't even right."

"You hanging around Edwin is not right.  Anyone with
half a brain wouldn't need to be told."

Oh, so now he's calling me stupid?
  “What is this
even about?”  And what was the point of arguing, when I didn’t even know what
kind of defence to mount.  The sensation in my gut warned me that he was just
going to kick me to the curb anyway.

“You were talking in your sleep," he stated, like it
was a crime.

"What did I say?"

“I’m sorry, Abby.  But I can’t get you pregnant.”  He
blocked his eyes with his hand, but through his tense fingers I was able to see
that he was still more angry than sorry.