A Unique Kind of Love (10 page)

"Liam?"

Still no response.

"Liiiaaaam?"

Nada.

I waved my hands under his nose to get his attention. Finally, his eyes flickered to me and he lifted his head up. I gasped. His blue eyes were a darker shade than they usually were. His lips were set in a thin line. His expression was cold and hard. I'd never seen him like that.

"Liam? Are you okay?" I asked hesitantly.

He swiftly closed his book and turned to walk away. He took long strides. I half-ran to be at his speed.

"Liam? Why are you ignoring me?"

He kept on walking.

Fed up with his attitude, I grabbed his arm, forcing him to stop. His lips pulled up in a disgusted smirk. I could sense his anger. His eyes went to my hand.

"No, I'm not letting go until you write me what's wrong."

He rolled his eyes and stayed very still. I groaned and let go of him long enough to take out a small notepad from my pocket. I kept that at all times with me; it was another source of communication I had with Liam.

I handed him the paper. He now held the special blue pen that he always kept in his right jacket pocket and he used it to roughly scribble something down before showing it to me.

"
Want to know what's wrong? You are. Leave me alone. Consider us, or whatever friendship we had, history."

I felt my bottom lip quiver, and he started to walk away. I ran after him and grabbed his arm again, but this time he resisted.

"No, please, Liam,” I begged. “Why? What did I do? Just tell me."

He abruptly shook his arm off and turned in my direction. My hopes went slightly up. His expression softened for a second, then hardened again. His mouth moved, tracing three words.

"Leave me alone."

Then he left me standing in the middle of the hallway, every step he made away from me, hurting me.

I felt tears well in my eyes. My heart was experiencing an emotion I'd only felt once. The day the nurses informed me of my father's death. Only this time it was more intense.  I was feeling cold and lonely, like my heart and soul have been ripped out. There was an empty, cold feeling in my stomach, like butterflies, but more nervous than excited.  My heart got ripped out of my chest without any warning. Being totally unprepared and having to deal with the outcome instantly hurt so much. I felt myself going numb and sad. My heart continued to sink as I came to the realization of what is reality.

No.

I refuse to go through this again.

I ran after him and grabbed his arm harshly. “Liam, I’m not letting you just leave like that.”

“
Let go.”

I stomped a foot angrily. “No, I’m not letting you go! Why are you acting like this?”

He just looked at me with hollowness in his eyes. I flinched. I let go.

Some moments make you realize just how much you care about someone. There are moments when you think:
I’d take a bullet for you
. And there are others when you realize that it all depends on a split-second decision.

I remembered an old quote, “
If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it’s yours. If not, it never was
.”

“Go.” I said. “Just remember that I’ll always be here for you.”

He walked away.

11

Crestfallen

"Been wondering if your heart's still open
and if so I wanna know what time it shuts"

~ Arctic Monkeys~

Lena Rose Winter

I walked towards Liam’s house, my hands freezing from both the snow and my anxiety. There was a possibility of him kicking me out or not even answering the door. I was mortified coming to talk to him given the risks, but I simply
had
to tell him.

Last night I stayed awake until dawn, finishing my application for NYU. He had promised we would go get coffee together once we submitted them.

I was aware, of course, that we were currently far from being friends. But it seemed unthinkable for me to forget about that. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing everything.

Best Case Scenario:
he smiles at me, he admits that he sent his application too, and was just about to come see me. We go out for coffee and doughnuts or we can stay at his house and I can spend time with his more than lovely grandmother, Darla Black.

Worst Case Scenario:
He doesn’t open the door and hides from me.

My hopes deflated a little, but I forced myself to expect the worst yet hope for the best.

I knocked at the door three times, stomping my feet on the floor to get the snow off my boots.

No answer.

I knocked again and decided to leave if the door didn’t open in ten seconds. They seemed to pass by too fast and I could feel the disappointment rushing in my head.

Suddenly, I heard a voice behind me. “Who you lookin’ for?”

I turned to the voice and saw a woman in her thirties, leaning on the window with a scarf over her head.

“Liam Black and his grandma,” I replied. “Do you know where they might be?”

She chuckled as if I were an ignorant child.

“They’re at the hospital! Darla’s sick.”

I froze. “S-sick?”

The woman grimaced. “Yeah. It’s bad, though. Last time I saw her, she was as pale as the snow you’re stepping on right now.” She stopped for a second, as if thinking. “Her little boy hasn’t left her side in forever.”

“Is it grave?” I asked.

The woman sighed. “Yeah. She has a few days, maybe two weeks left.”

“Do you know which hospital?”

She nodded, “Sainte-Catherine’s.”

“Thank you,” I said, before calling my mom. I gave her a quick resume of what I’d just found out. She came to pick me up in minutes and started driving me to the hospital.

It was a long, silent car ride. Sainte-Catherine’s was about half an hour far from my house and forty-five minutes from Liam’s.

Mom broke the comfortable silence. “Do you think she’ll be okay?”

Darla Black was one of the kindest women I knew. When I went to study at Liam’s house, she always made us hot chocolate and cookies and she made those horrible jokes that make you want to bang your head against a wall yet laugh at the same time.

Liam looked at her as if she were his home. She was the only family he had left, except for two estranged cousins who lived in Australia. She represented the only shelter, he had from everything in the world. She was his grandmother, his mother, sister, and most importantly, friend.

“I don’t know,” I answered honestly.

If the loss of that amazing old woman could affect me, the feeling must be amplified a million times for Liam.

We got to the hospital a few minutes later and Mom decided to stay in the car. I promised to get her a coffee on my way back and rushed inside.

The hospital was quite elegant. It had wards arranged in a circular design, where the nurses' station was at the center of the ward with all the rooms visible to them. The walls and doors were made of glass and they had curtains that can be closed for a patient's privacy. I heard people moaning and calling for the nurses. The lights were dim. I heard beeps and monitors buzzing and an occasional intercom call.

“Excuse me?” I tapped on a nurse’s shoulder. “Where’s the reception?”

“Take a left, you’ll find it there. As a matter of fact, I’m going there right now. Follow me.”

I followed the nurse, who had fiery red hair stuffed into a net. The receiving desk was right where she said it would be. I walked to the receptionist and gave her a smile.

“Hello.”

She didn’t answer right away.

“Would you possibly know where a boy, Liam Black, would be? He’s here, right now.”

She finally looked up, her dark brown eyes piercing through me. “And who are you?” Her jaw chewed gum noisily and rapidly. I felt as if I was wasting every minute of her life that I was there.

“His best friend,” I replied in less than a second. The nurse grimaced.

“Look, he’s in the third floor. Room 561. Floor 3.”

I went into the elevator and practically ran to Room 561. I stopped in my tracks only when I was already in front of the entrance.

Why was I even doing this? Liam still didn’t want to be my friend.

Because he’s suffering and you care about him.

I took my courage in two hands and knocked on the door three times. After a few seconds, the door opened, revealing a disheveled Liam. My heart softened at the sight in front of me.

His hair was completely messed up, there were tear streaks on his cheeks and his eyes were empty looking. They widened at the sight of me.

“I know I shouldn’t have come here, but I wanted to see you, I wanted to tell you something.” I stopped for a second, my eyes falling on the elderly woman sleeping in her bed, a million wires connected to her.

“Why didn’t you tell me, you idiot?”

He looked at me with a blank stare, and I walked past him and sat on one of the chairs beside Darla Black. She was pale and tired. The soft risings of her chest and her faint heartbeat were the only signs of her still being alive.

“Hey, Darla,” I said, tears forming in my eyes. “Can you believe your grandson? He didn’t tell me that you were here.” I chuckled dryly.

Someone tapped my shoulder and I turned to the familiar screen of Liam’s phone.

“CHD, (Coronary Heart Disease). She's been fine, but about two weeks ago, she got an attack. The doctors say that she doesn't have much time.”

My heart fell. Even though Liam’s neighbor had mostly informed me, I still couldn’t believe that this was real, that this was happening.

"
I'm sorry
," traced his lips.

I replied, “No, I am.”

And I hugged him.

He stiffened. I could feel him hesitate, but he reluctantly wrapped his arms around me as well.

We stayed that way for a long time, the seconds ticking by slowly, every moment taking its time to pass.

It was a silent confirmation of our friendship.

“Lena! Is that you, dear?” said a throaty voice. I jumped in the air, but smiled at the sight of Darla, now awake. Her blue eyes, which have the same shade as Liam’s, held that same twinkle I’d seen so often when she was well. I went by her side, and so did Liam.

“Darla! Long time no see, eh?”

She chuckled and coughed at the same time and Liam tensed.

“How’s your life going?” she asked, as if she was just at home, knitting a winter sweater for Liam.

I shrugged. “Nothing special. I sent my college application last night, actually.” I felt Liam’s eyes on me. Darla’s mouth dropped a little and she patted my hand.