A Widow Redefined (28 page)

I had overheard a couple fellow travelers saying they were connecting to Bora Bora, so we followed them to the next gate. This time, after boarding, Tyler got the window seat and I was right next to him. We’d lucked out. We were even on the left side of the plane, something I read was ideal to catch the best view.

The flight was only forty-five minutes long. A blink compared to the many hours we’d already endured. We were tired, but found new wells of energy for this final leg of the trip.

Within a short time, we were descending. And, as promised, the view blew our minds. I gasped as I caught the first glimpse. Tyler’s jaw dropped open.

It was Heaven.

Green jagged peaks stretched high into the sky, surrounded by electric blue turquoise water enclosed in a protective lagoon.

“My God,” I whispered.

“Yeah,” Tyler agreed.

After landing, we were able to get off right away. We walked over to a welcome desk for our hotel. An American looking woman waited for us.

“Welcome to Bora Bora,” she said in an Australian accent.

She took our names and then we climbed aboard a boat that would transfer us to our hotel. As we stepped in, one of the staff members put leis around our necks. These weren’t the plastic leis you find in party supply stores. They were made of real flowers. Then they handed us bottled water and chilled damp white towels.

Tyler looked over at me. “I could get used to this.”

“Me, too.”

We completed hotel checkin on the boat on the way to the resort. While I quickly went through the forms I was at the same time aware of the dazzling scenery all around me. Tyler stood at the front of the boat, taking it all in. In a few moments, I joined him.

On the ride to our hotel, which was on the surrounding motu instead of the main island, we stared in awe at Mt. Otemanu. It was breathtaking.

I lifted my sunglasses to take a look at Tyler. Sun bathed his fair skin and the ocean breeze tousled his blonde hair. There we were… in Bora Bora, on our way to the Four Seasons.

The boat stopped and we were greeted by a new set of staff members who gave us a tour of the resort, then showed us to our room. Like magic, our bags had arrived before we did.

Did I call it a room? It was an overwater villa with its own sundeck and plunge pool. I checked out the bathroom. It had a deep tub with sliding glass doors that opened to a view of the lagoon. Everything was perfect and unbelievable.

I came onto the deck and found Tyler admiring his surroundings, completely in awe. I stood beside him, and we both were still.

I’d never seen water so blue and clear. It was like a million turquoise gemstones had melted into a never-ending sea. It was one of the best moments of my life.

“Are you hungry yet?” I asked Tyler, interrupting the silence.

“No. I’m good. I’m too excited to eat. How about you?”

“I can wait until later,” I replied. “It’s hot, though. What do you say we jump into our very own pool?”

“Okay,” Tyler said, so enthusiastic he could hardly contain himself. “I’ll go put on my suit.”

We both changed and found our way back to the deck at the same time. Instead of testing the water temperature with our feet, we jumped in, crazed with happiness, and began splashing each other back and forth.

I behaved like a child, like him, and it was pure bliss.

We swam for a bit, then I got out and climbed onto one of the cushy lounge chairs. I was so jet-lagged, I could’ve fallen asleep right there. But I didn’t want to close my eyes. I didn’t want to miss anything.

Tyler couldn’t sit still and lay in the sun. He opened his luggage and got out his colored pencils and blank sketchpad. He said he wanted to begin drawing at once. He had the perfect view of Mt. Otemanu and wanted to capture it.

Once I saw him seated and working, I reluctantly closed my eyes. Later, as I rolled onto my other side, I was groggy and disoriented. A distinctly familiar smell had wafted my way. Justin’s cologne.

I inhaled again, this time deeper, and it woke me. I sat up and looked around, half expecting to see him.

No one was there.

I let out a heavy sigh. In my heart I knew he was with us.

I squinted to get a better look at Tyler. He was drawing and looking very serious with his baseball cap on. He wouldn’t wear sunglasses because he said they’d alter his view.

I got up off the chaise and yawned.

“Hey T.,” I called out. “Getting hungry yet?”

“Yeah. I’m starved,” he said.

“Okay. I’m going to get changed first.”

I dressed in a casual sundress, flip flops, and put my hair in a ponytail. Just for fun I added some pink lip gloss too.

When I got back on the deck, Tyler had finished his first sketch.

“It’s beautiful honey.”

“Thanks Mom.”

Tyler closed his pad and gathered his pencils. Then he went inside to change. Within five minutes he was ready.

We walked the pier, with its overwater villas jutting out on both sides, and headed to the main restaurant. There was no bad table in the whole place, but I was convinced we got the best one.

“I’m going to order seafood,” I announced.

Tyler looked confused. “I thought you didn’t like it?”

“I don’t usually, but I’m sure I will here. And,” I joked, “If I don’t love it I will order something else.”

“Well excuse me Madame,” Tyler replied in a fake French accent.

We both giggled, but not too loud. We were at a five star resort after all.

The food arrived and we feasted. Everything tasted delicious. I ordered myself a tropical drink. Then the manager stopped by with a non-alcoholic tropical drink for Tyler. They knew how to take care of their guests.

We were too full to eat dessert, so we decided we’d have some tomorrow night. Instead, we walked around the grounds.

“Do you wanna walk on the beach?” Tyler asked.

I smiled. “Sure. It could count as our family workout.”

Tyler grinned back. Then we headed for the sand.

The sun was beginning to set. And we both sat there, watching it. For the next hour we hardly spoke. We just stared in awe at a sky ablaze with slow-moving orange and purple streaks. The water color shifted from light to progressively darker shades of blue.

“Wow,” Tyler whispered.

“Yeah.” I was mesmerized by Mother Nature’s show.

Afterward, we both got up and brushed the sand off our butts. Then we walked the pier back to our villa. Once we got back in, Tyler grabbed his pencils and sketchpad again. I’d never seen him so motivated.

I decided to unpack our things and spend time putting away toiletries and hanging our clothes. When Tyler was finished drawing, he called me over to see his creation.

“Another masterpiece, Gauguin,” I said and winked.

Tyler puffed up with pride. I hadn’t used his nickname in a while.

“Hey. Do you want to walk on the beach at night? I’ll bet it will be amazing,” I asked.

“I think I will do it tomorrow,” he said. “I’m starting to get so tired. Plus, I want to watch TV.”

I sighed. I wanted to do it tonight. Tyler picked up on it and said, “Mom. I’ll be right here in the room. Why don’t you go?”

At first I wasn’t sure it was a good idea. Then I decided it would be safe. I made sure I heard him lock the door after I left with my own room key.

I wouldn’t go far. Just from the pier to the beach. I strolled barefoot, on the powdery white moonlit sand. No one else was around.

The air smelled fresh, filled with the scent of exotic flowers. It was warm outside, but a slight ocean breeze cooled me.

I looked up. The night sky was pitch black, with a canopy of twinkling stars overhead.

Just then, a thought crossed my mind.
Sabrina… my odd, unusual friend… I miss you.

As if in response, a shooting star whizzed past, then fizzled out, disappearing into the heavens.

I smiled and heard Tyler’s voice in my head. “The Universe is speaking to you.”

Indeed. It definitely was.

The End

• After Amy finds the flowers she goes home and takes a hot bath, breaking down crying as the memory of her father leaving when she was a child resurfaces. Why do you think a seed of doubt, yet unproven, could have such a powerful effect and provoke one’s innermost fears?
  
• When Amy sees the flowers a second time and decides to find out who the person is, do you agree with her decision to keep it a secret from her mother? What would you have done if in the same situation?
  
• Have you ever had a co-worker, friend, or family member be unable to get past the loss of a loved one? And if so, how did that impact your relationship?
  
• Amy feels drawn to spend time with Sabrina without understanding the reason why. If you were in her shoes, under similar circumstances, could you see yourself being pulled into a friendship like this?
  
• Tyler is a stabilizing force within the family even though he’s a young child. Have you ever encountered one of these “old souls” in your lifetime? If so, did you learn anything from this person?
  
• Throughout the book the mom is always there to help Amy, but she never lets her daughter take care of her. In regards to the divorce and the dad leaving, they never “go there.” Do you think this is common mom behavior or do you think she’s a bit closed off and withdrawn? How does their relationship compare to the one with your own mother?
  
• Sabrina falls in love with a married man, causing herself great sadness. Do you think it’s possible to acknowledge these types of feelings while they’re occurring, but be able to stop them from advancing into something that will only cause pain? What advice would you give to someone in this predicament?
  
• As Sabrina becomes better friends with Amy her guilt begins to surface, and she shows it by giving Amy new clothes, averting her eyes at the mention of Dr. Freidman, and eventually leads to her telling Amy the truth about her true intentions with Justin. Do you think Sabrina did the right thing by sharing that with her? Or do you think she should’ve held that information back? What would you have chosen to do?
  
• After Amy’s big fight with Sabrina, she vows to never see or speak to her again. Yet when she’s notified that Sabrina is in the hospital in critical condition she rushes to her side. Do you think this behavior is common when serious life events occur? Would you drop whatever problem that was between you and another person to just be there for them? Or would it depend on what they’d done?
  
• When Amy talks with Sabrina in the hospital she finds out Sabrina has always been jealous of her, and wanted to get to know her to find out what Amy had that she didn’t. Oddly enough, all through the book Amy’s self-esteem suffers because she feels she can never measure up to Sabrina. Why do you think these thoughts are so prevalent, both in real life and in the book? Why do you think we often feel we’re not enough and someone else is better?
  
• Amy misses the funeral in favor of a return visit to the Chicago Botanic Garden. She is convinced she’s made the right decision, that it’s the proper way to say goodbye to her friend. Have you ever done something similar? And if so, did your friends/family get upset with you or were they understanding?
  
• On vacation in Bora Bora Amy wakes to the scent of Justin’s cologne. She also sees a shooting star whizz past as she thinks of missing Sabrina. Have you ever experienced any of these “Universe is speaking to you” moments in your own life? If so, what happened and how did it impact you?
  

“Not since Lisa See’s Snow Flower and the Secret Fan have I read such a complex portrayal of friendship. A Widow Redefined will resonate with anyone who has ever lost a loved one and learned how to live again.” ~ author Deborah Brown

“Inspiring. Destined to become a book club favorite.” ~ Alicia Robinson/reader review

I would like to thank my wonderful husband, July Cano, for always being supportive of my writing and helping with all things technical. You’re a handsome geek.

I would also like to thank my editor, Steve Parolini, for being kind, honest, and helpful with my debut novel. Thanks to Geoffrey Benzing for painting another beautiful watercolor, and to Brittany Vibbert for creating an amazing book cover, not to mention all my website banners.

Thanks to all my friends and family who served as beta readers: Kelly Hyatt-Riddle, Brittany Vibbert, Alicia Robinson, Jan Nelson, and my step-dad, Mike Nelson, who spent a great deal of time providing feedback on a book he probably never would’ve read if I hadn’t written it!

I would also like to thank author friends who helped me with so many book-related things even when they were busy themselves: Deborah Brown, Melissa Foster, Russell Blake, and Rachelle Ayala.

Kim Cano is the author of For Animal Lovers, a short story collection for kids ages 9 to 12. It also appeals to adult readers who are young at heart. 10% of the sale price is donated to the ASPCA® to help homeless pets. It can be bought at Amazon. Click here for details: