Absolute Surrender (24 page)

“Yes, of course! As you know, His Grace and Lord Endsleigh are childhood friends, yet they hadn
’
t seen each other in an age. So when His Grace and I saw Lord Endsleigh walking, of course I insisted they take some time to speak and send me home. I can stroll with Lord Castleberry at any time, of course. Yet Endsleigh and
Castleberry
seem to never cross paths. I thought it only decent I allow them some time.”
Amelia smiled.

Lady Pembroke beamed at her, then turned back to the room. “You see? Perfectly innocent explanation.”

“This is why I
’
m home early, Mama. I should change out of my carriage dress, however. Won
’
t you all excuse me for a moment? You aren
’
t all leaving now, are you?” she asked respectfully.

Her mother smiled at them. “No! No, we were just standing because Lady Ambrose had to depart rather suddenly, and then you arrived. I
’
ve no doubt there
’
s much more to discuss. Go ahead and change, then join us.”

Amelia smiled and offered a quick curtsy, and her mother waved everyone back to their places. Amelia stayed her want to run for the stairs. She could feel Louisa
’
s presence behind her and stole every bit of strength she could from her, though it seemed her maid had little to give at the moment.

Amelia walked slowly up the stairs. Perhaps too slowly. Perhaps she should go faster?
No, this was
a
good pace.
Amelia pulled her skirts up tight against her and reached for the banister to steady herself.

Do not trip do not trip do not trip.

The door to the parlor was yet open, and she could even now see the ladies chattering away. She didn
’
t need to cause a scene after so narrowly defusing the same. She was sure to hear of this later when the women departed. For now, she needed to calm her nerves and attempt to put on a show. She could do this.

Amelia entered her rooms, swept her bonnet off, then her long jacket. Louisa went straight to her and unhooked her skirts, though her hands shook, and it took a bit of time. Amelia turned and held her hands for a moment. “Louisa?”

“It
’
s nothing, milady. Don
’
t mind me. I
’
ll be right as rain in a moment’s time. Never you mind.”

Louisa turned, then pulled Amelia
’
s larger, caged petticoats from the wardrobe, tossing them over her head as the carriage petticoats fell away. She followed the petticoats with the same blue plaid skirt as Amelia buttoned up her high-collared blouse. Louisa straightened and smoothed the long lines, bustled the skirts over the caged petticoat and then squeezed her shoulders.

“Just remember to breathe. If you need a moment, sip your tea. You
’
ll win them over, just as you win over everyone who knows you,” Louisa said with a smile.

Amelia took her hand and squeezed it. She loved how certain Louisa always was. Amelia gathered the strength in that statement and held it close as she left the safety of her room and headed toward the fray.

“Ah, Amelia!” Her mother sounded extremely happy to see her, but below that, which nobody would pick out but Amelia, was a strong note of stress to her voice. Her mother introduced the room, and Amelia did her best to remember each of them. “Come sit with us,” her mother said as she pulled her to the big settee and placed her in the center. “You must tell us of your day. It sounds as though you had a bit of an adventure?”

“Adventure?” Amelia wasn
’
t sure what to say. She was certain by the earlier reception that someone had seen her at the Row, and several someones had rushed to her father
’
s house to prattle.
“It wasn
’
t truly an adventure. We merely intended to take a stroll at Hyde and on the way met with Lord Endsleigh. He joined us, then as we pulled through the Row, I determined they needed some time to be men and discuss those things men discuss without women.” This was met with giggles. Amelia was on the right track, she hoped.

“I merely suggested His Grace call on me later, and we dropped them at his town home, and he sent me off in his carriage. It was such a lovely day that Louisa and I did take a detour back through Hyde, mostly to see the ducks.” They
had
seen ducks. “Castleberry was nothing but thoughtful. In fact, I had to
insist
they abandon me. He, the duke, did not want to do anything untoward. You see, he did not want anyone to think ill of me. But I
quite insisted
that nobody would dare think such.” Amelia smiled brightly and saw the younger ladies sigh as the matrons nodded approvingly. This was more difficult than she
’
d thought.

They all continued to gaze at her as though she should continue, but she truly had naught else to say. “And that is where you join the story, when I arrived home…
here.
” Amelia held up her hands in what she believed to be
a welcoming gesture.

Her mother smiled, and Amelia eased a small bit in that. “Oh, what a gentleman, insisting he stay by your side,” her mother crooned. She turned to the lady beside her, Lady Rigsby, Amelia believed, and whispered to her.

Then Amelia caught her aunt’s disapproving gaze as Lady Mathorpe stood silently and left the room. Amelia
’
s chest tightened, and she looked away, chatting with the young lady on her other side, Miss Maitland Elliott, the shy girl from before.

Amelia had had no idea the speed with which news could travel in London. Her mother had warned her, she had, but in all honesty who would have believed the rapidity with which the gossip had happened in truth? Amelia was shocked.

She understood, now, the need to be careful. This morning had been a grave misstep. She didn
’
t want to call Charles’s respectability into question, nor Hugh
’
s. She needed to heed this warning and behave as a young girl in her first season ought to behave, regardless of the fact that she was no young girl attending a traditional season. Amelia must keep a fair distance from them both, because now…everyone would be watching them.

“A statement? In front of the
ton
? But we have only begun to court. I
’
m not sure—”

Amelia had tried to return to her rooms as the guests left, but she wasn
’
t quick enough to escape her mother.

“Amelia, you diminished your choices when you pulled up to the Row with two men in tow. What were you thinking? No, do not answer that. I don
’
t believe my heart can stand any of the excuses you would deign to give me. Your father and I should never have allowed such excesses with Lord Endsleigh. That was our mistake, but I believed you understood that relationship was a thing for childhood, not for proper company! Men and women cannot be friends. They simply cannot.” Her mother emphasized this, then turned to the parlor window. “We shall attend Lady Greensborough
’
s ball tonight. Gelema is an old friend. She
’
ll not mind the late response.”

Amelia knew her mother was hatching a plan to further attempt to rescue her tattered image. But another ball? So soon? She wasn
’
t sure she could manage it, particularly considering how difficult it was to be around Charles at the moment. Yet this wasn
’
t something she could discuss with her mother, who was at ends as it was.

Amelia walked to her mother, skimmed one hand down her arm, then sat on the window seat, pulling her hand gently to have her sit. Amelia was entirely too overwrought, and it was mostly her own doing. As much as she hated her mother
’
s tactics, her mother
’
s opinions on her behaviors, her mother
’
s ideas for handling her
…the woman was still her mother, and she had stood up for Amelia today. That had meant the world to her. If only her mother would relax enough to allow her and Amelia to be close, to work together toward a good end for the both of them… Amelia took her mother
’
s hand in both of hers.

“If you believe that my appearance at the Greensborough fete will smooth over the injured pride of the
ton
matrons, I
’
ll go. I should send a missive to His Grace immediately. I
’
ve no doubt he
’
ll be thrilled to attend us.”

Her mother squeezed her hand, and Amelia saw something shine in her eyes that she very rarely saw, but it was gone all too soon, and her mother
’
s usual countenance returned.

“We
’
re nearly there. Very nearly there. Oh, Amelia, I
’
ve no doubt this can be done, and then we
’
ll have no further worries. I simply…I—”

Amelia patted her mother
’
s hand. “Not to worry, Mama.” She stood and moved to the secretary in the corner of the parlor. “I
’
ll send the missive, then rest to ensure a successful evening.”

The last thing Charles had expected after Ender left his town house was a note from Amelia.
No
, in fact, there was one thing he’d expected even less than that: that she would request his accompaniment to the Greensborough ball this evening.

He attempted to straighten his cravat. Charles wanted the knot to be perfect, but the stick pin looked a bit long. He switched the pin in favor of his father
’
s diamond pin and moved back to the mirror. He was happy with the knowledge that she
’
d recovered from their misstep that day. Perhaps the situation wasn
’
t as bad as he was making it. He stabbed himself in the thumb, as though he knew he needed a touch of reality. So perhaps it was as bad as he remembered. Charles looked in the mirror, a spot of blood on the badly mussed cravat he’d been attempting to repair. He yanked the cravat from his collar and dropped it to the floor as he recalled his valet, who grumbled.

Amelia held on to the bedpost as Louisa yanked on the corset laces. “Are you entirely sure you wish to attend another ball?” Louisa asked.

“Not entirely. I must make this appearance in public for Charles, and for my mother. It
’
s the right thing to do, and I wish it. I should be fine, for a time.” Amelia thought for a moment then smiled. “Louisa, that
’
s not entirely true. I wish to see Charles. I wish to make a grand statement. I wish to attend the ball.”

Louisa smiled at her as she turned her around and flung the crinolines over her head, fastening stays and laces and trimmings as she moved like a tempest.

“What will you do with your evening off, Louisa?”

“I
’
ve an idea, my lady.”

“Do you? Are you off to meet with your
beau
?” Amelia asked quietly.

Louisa frowned slightly then smiled.

“You are.” Amelia considered the difference between Louisa and herself, how Louisa was free to love and do as she pleased with no true recourse. “Is he wonderful?” Amelia asked.

Louisa darted her gaze to Amelia, then away again. “I…well, a lady should never kiss and tell, you know,” she said, but she seemed lost in her thoughts.

“Amelia.”

Amelia turned as her mother walked in. She
’
d wanted to ask Louisa more, but she could tell her mother was no longer in an agreeable humor. One of her dark moods had set in. “Mother,” Amelia said carefully. Her hands moved to the front of her dress, shifting and adjusting the seams as Louisa fastened innumerable buttons up the back.

Amelia picked at a small thread and showed it to Louisa, who went to the dressing table for her scissors. Her mother took the scissors from Louisa, then reached toward Amelia. And she flinched.

“Really, Amelia, is that necessary?”

“Not at all. I beg your pardon.” Amelia steeled herself as her mother reached for her again.

“You need to watch yourself. It
’
s entirely possible for the duke to cry off as yet. We still await confirmation. He has yet to secure the license. It would not take much.”

“Yes, Mother,” Amelia said quietly, trying to calm her heart. It swirled, whirled in her breast. Was this corset too tight? Louisa did like them tight. Amelia
’
s head joined the spin, and she reached out to the bedpost again as her mother fussed over the few loose threads on her bodice.

Charles Charles Charles,
she thought.

She willed her pulse to slow, imagined it drifting on a lake, no waves, no wind, just the peaceful sound of the water lapping the shoreline and a few pipers in the sand.

“Lovely,” she heard Louisa say just behind her.

“It will have to do,” her mother mumbled.

Amelia closed her eyes.

Charles took Amelia
’
s hand and led her to the dance floor. “Are you sure?”

Amelia looked up at him and realized that second-guessing her served only to highlight an opinion on her weakness, which she knew was not his intent but still niggled at her consciousness.

“I beg your pardon,”
Charles said.
“I only meant that being here, with you, should be enough of a statement. What I should have said was, ‘
Thank you
for the honor of this dance.’”

Amelia smiled uncontrollably at his change in tack, and Charles swept her out to the floor, pulling her briskly through the turns. She enjoyed the heady rush of the dance floor, so different from the dizziness of her disorder. She fell into it, enjoyed it, let him pull her, let her head swirl in the excitement and the motion as she ignored the
ton
that surrounded her.

She held on to Charles, feeling the heat of his arms against hers, his body holding her more tightly than he should—yet for some reason it never crossed her mind to concern herself with it.

Her pulse quickened with his steps, but it was with excitement, not fear or worry. Then she considered his hard thighs pushing against her skirts, his trim waist, his broad chest that led to the expanse of his shoulders that overshadowed her greatly, and she determined to think only on the movement, not the man, as her mind threatened to fade.

Amelia felt safe in the lee of his size. Protected within his stance, untouchable, free to enjoy herself, the rest of the room be damned.

Too soon the dance ended, and she hadn
’
t even the time to see who watched, who looked, or who cared. She laughed as Charles took her arm and escorted her out through the doors to the garden.

There were torches lit on the grounds, lighting a walking path that meandered through the hedgerows and flower beds. Amelia wondered how any woman managed to escape the gardens without being set aflame. Some of the dresses were rather extensive in the skirts. It seemed…dangerous.

“You enjoyed that,”
Charles said.

Amelia turned away from the flames. “I did. So very much,” she said as she glanced his way, her heart still racing in her throat. She let her breath come heavily, unconcerned for who noticed. As well, she was thrilled at her ability to control herself with him. It had been so much easier tonight than before.

“Perhaps we should rest? There
’
s a bench just over here behind this row.” Charles pulled her along, wrapping his arms around her again and waltzing her around the corner, spinning her in his arms and calling forth laughter the likes of which she
’
d not heard from herself in years.

“
Oh, Your Grace, I
…well.”

Before she knew what he was about, she was wrapped up tightly against him, toes to nose, his thighs alternating with hers through her thick skirts, his breath and hers mingling between them.

Amelia could smell the punch on the air as he leaned the slightest bit closer.
The sweet tang of punch…I didn
’
t even get a drink. I suppose now I shall have a taste of the punch, though,
she thought as she concentrated on the lips inching toward hers.

Charles seemed to hesitate, his eyes grazing her face as intimately as a touch to her skin.

“Amelia.”

She thought his voice feral, deep,
nearly
illegible…no, intelligible…
No! Unintelligi
—
Then his nose nudged hers, and Charles captured her mouth.