Addicted to Him (8 page)

“Is something wrong, honey?” Dad asks, noticing that I haven’t pulled out my food yet.

“No, not at all,” I say, digging into the bag for my burger. I scarf it down as fast as I can, which isn’t hard considering how good it is. No wonder Lisa was craving that all day.

“Oh my God, I should have worn pants with an elastic waist,” Lisa complains, tossing her garage in a nearby trash can.

“Seth doesn’t disappoint,” Dad agrees. I felt like Seth knew that I didn’t want him to say anything about meeting me in front of Dad and Lisa somehow. Like he could just read my mind, which is crazy. He’s probably just a total player, not some soul mate that just happened to pop randomly into my life two different times in the same day.

“This is really good,” I brag, popping the last bite in my mouth.

“This place has been here since the fifties. It isn’t much to look at but the food makes up for it,” Dad says.

“Part of me feels guilty for loving it so much. I hate seeing Seth being forced into his father’s footsteps at such an early age,” Lisa says, sucking out the last of her malt.

My ears perk up at the mention of Seth even though I’ve got my bag wadded up in my hand, just waiting for the courage to throw it into the trash can.

“What kind of a man runs off with a girl half his age and abandons his family?” Dad asks disgustedly. “What a coward.”

I feel sad for Seth. Not only was he toting around his brother and sister but now I find out that he has to work at this burger joint just to help out his family after his dad abandoned him. This new information gives me the courage to toss the bag right into the trash. The last thing this guy needs is any of my baggage.

I follow Dad and Lisa to the car, hating how much I’m mourning a relationship that never even began.

Chapter Five

Two weeks go by and I’m still thinking about Seth. I purposely go to the library in the afternoons, knowing that story time is long over and that he is probably busy flipping burgers. Thankfully, Lisa hasn’t had another burger craving saving me the humiliation of being faced with Seth again, although if he even remembered me I’d be surprised.

I’ve been devouring novels like they are ice cream sundaes and I’ve already blown through my English teacher’s suggested summer reading list. I’ve decided that I’m really going to bring it with my grades next year. I know I’m capable of getting straight A’s and Chastity seems to hate me no matter what my grades are so I might as well do something to benefit myself for a change.

I’ve still got the whole afternoon to kill and I decide to surprise Dad and Lisa by cooking dinner for them. I scour the Internet looking for a recipe that is equally delicious and simple but will still impress Lisa.

Chastity would die if she knew how much I admire and respect Lisa. She’d probably make some crack about how immature she is just because she’s a little younger than Dad, or how she can only manage having a full-time job, cooking, cleaning, and DIY projects because she doesn’t have any brats to contend with. There’s always an excuse anytime Chastity perceives anybody one upping her. She doesn’t have the ability to look inside herself and recognize that she just lacks some things.

I find a recipe for Chicken Marsala casserole and it sounds like something they would like. I check the cabinets and refrigerator and, unsurprisingly, Lisa already has all the ingredients. I gather everything on the island and start assembling the casserole. Once I’m done, I pop it in the refrigerator until I’m ready to cook it. I’m beside myself at the thought of surprising them with a special dinner. I whip up a bowl of brownie mix so that dessert can be cooking while we eat.

I head upstairs to take a shower. I peel off my clothes and examine myself in the wall-size bathroom mirror. There’s no hiding it anymore, Lisa’s delicious cooking is bringing back the soft curves that I used to love so much. My chest is so much fuller that my girls are overflowing the cups of my bra and it gets harder and harder to button my shorts every day. I usually just lounge around in my bikini bottoms until Dad and Lisa get home to avoid their stranglehold on my waist. If I keep this up, I might have to plead with Dad for a little bit of money for clothes.

I run my hands down my body, pleased with how the stick thin girl is disappearing. I feel more myself than I have in almost two years. And the more I feel like myself, the stronger I feel. Like anything is possible.

I turn on the water as hot as I can stand and get in, pulling the shower curtain closed behind me. I take my time shaving my legs, loving that it seems like there is an endless supply of hot water. I had no idea how calming water could be when you weren’t worrying about someone walking in on you. And as much as I love Wade, he thinks it’s fun to pour out all my bath products which makes me crazy.

I wash my hair three times hoping that the black will fade. I’m tired of looking like this. I want my old self back. None of my weight loss or appearance changes made Phil stop trying to touch me or made Chastity love me so I might as well feel good about myself. I wonder if Lisa would be willing to help me fix my hair and possibly fund some new clothes. I’m going to try and work up the courage to ask her.

I pull on my too tight clothes and go downstairs to pop the casserole in the oven. I set the table then head out to get the mail. The timer for dinner goes off at the exact same moment that the garage door goes up. I timed it perfectly.

“What is that amazing smell?” Lisa asks, walking inside. She looks really tired making my idea seem even better.

“I made dinner. I hope that’s okay,” I say.

“Okay? Um, yeah, it’s way better than okay.” She jogs up the stairs to change out of her dress and heels.

“Dang, it smells good in here,” Dad says, shutting the garage door. “You cooked us dinner?”

“You guys work so hard, I just wanted to help out a little.”

“That’s really nice, sweetie. You’re a good girl,” he says. I can tell he’s wrestling with himself wanting to hug me, but he restrains himself knowing how I’ll react.

His words wash over me like a brave ray of sunshine on a cloudy day. That’s all I’ve ever wanted was for someone to tell me I’m good. That I deserve good things to happen to me and that I’m worthy of being loved. Wade is the only one that has ever made me feel like I was deserving of love.

I busy myself pulling the casserole out and setting it on hot pads on the table. I add a loaf of French bread and a stick of butter and pull out the side salads that I prepared and set them next to everyone’s plates. I stand back and survey my work, pleased that everything looks delicious. Dad and Lisa bolt downstairs in more comfortable clothes and take their seats at the table.

“Chicken Marsala?” Lisa asks, sniffing the casserole.

“Yep, good nose,” I say with a laugh.

“I think Lisa was a bloodhound in a previous life,” Dad jokes.

I serve them both a good portion of the casserole and wait eagerly for them to try the first bite before taking my own.

I watch Lisa, in particular, since she will be the harder one to impress. She blows on the bite at the end of her fork then pops it in her mouth. I’m on the edge of my seat until she starts moaning and groaning with delight. I’m so happy I think I might bust the button on my shorts, which after this dinner I will probably do anyway.

We enjoy a wonderful meal and talk about our day. They do most of the talking, comparing work days, while I listen on with delight. I’ve always dreamed about having dinners like these but had gotten to the point where I thought they were just a dream. Chastity and Phil rarely sit down to eat at the same time, and, if they do, it usually just results in them bitching at each other about something that one of them did or didn’t do. Nothing like the peaceful feeling of this dinner with the back and forth easy flow of conversation minus the sarcasm or derogatory names like Chastity’s dinners are famous for.

With each day that passes I know I’m edging closer and closer into dangerous territory. I know how easily I could imagine my life being here full-time. But I couldn’t leave Wade and let’s face it, Dad was a sport taking me on for the entire summer, but full-time with no reprieve is a completely different story.

I savor another forkful of the delicious casserole forcing myself to slow down which is the same thing I need to do with my life here. Enjoy myself now and try not to worry about what the future holds.

****

The next morning I hear a horrible sound coming from the direction of Dad and Lisa’s bedroom. I peek inside the open door and see Lisa crouched over the toilet wretching with Dad gently rubbing her back.

“Oh my God, I poisoned her,” I blurt out, unable to stop myself.

“Cassidy, no,” Lisa shouts until an un-human amount of puke forces her head back into the toilet bowl again.

“Sweetie, I’m not sick, and you’re not sick, so it couldn’t have been your dinner,” Dad reassures me. I run into the bathroom and pull open a drawer containing washcloths and hand towels. I pull out the softest washcloth I can find and run cold water over it. I wring it out and place it on Lisa’s forehead.

“That feels amazing,” she says, flushing the toilet for the fourth time since I came in. She slumps against the wall. I kneel down and rub the cloth all over her face. I do this for Wade all the time and I’m always amazed at what a difference it makes. “You’re the best daughter ever,” she mumbles, her eyes getting droopy.

Dad scoops her up and places her gently in bed, pulling the covers up to her chin. I busy myself laying down a towel on the side of the bed with the bathroom trash can, in case she isn’t done. I try not to let her words sink in because as much as I would like to believe that she considers me her daughter, I know she is just delirious from being so sick. Dad gestures for me to come out into the hall with him.

“I hate to leave her, but I have a really important presentation today and they are counting on me,” he says, glancing miserably back at the bedroom.

“I’ll take really good care of her. I promise.”

“I’ll make it up to you, sweetie,” he says, rushing down the stairs. I almost laugh at the thought that he owes me something. I’ve only been here a few weeks and he’s already given me more emotionally than Chastity has my whole life.

I peek into the bedroom where Lisa seems to be resting comfortably and decide she will be okay while I take a quick shower. I leave the door open so I can hear her if she needs me. I rinse and dry off with record speed. I slip on some shorts and a tank top, grab my latest novel and settle myself gently beside her on the bed.

I listen to the rise and fall of her breath as I watch her sleep. Her words ring in my ears and before I can stop them they pierce my heart with their hopefulness. I wipe away a stray tear realizing that I’ve fallen hard for Lisa. She’s a really good person and I’m glad that my dad found somebody like her to spend his life with. It gives me hope that maybe I’ll take after him, and not Chastity, in the love department someday.

I open my book and lose myself in Jay Gatsby’s impossible quest to win back the love of his life. I wonder how it would feel to have someone love you so much that they change their whole life for you.

****

I wake to someone gently caressing my cheek. “Seth,” I mumble, still half asleep.

I hear a tiny gasp then I remember where I’m at. My eyes pop open to see Lisa’s mouth forming a perfect O.

“Your dad was right,” Lisa exclaims.

“What are you talking about?” I say, bolting upright in bed.

“He swore up and down that Seth was checking you out the other night and I told him I didn’t see anything.”

“That’s crazy. A guy like Seth wouldn’t look twice at a girl like me.”

“Cassidy, I don’t know what you see when you look in the mirror but I can guarantee you that everyone else sees a much different reflection. You’re a beautiful girl, no matter how much you try to cover it up.”

“He wrote his cell phone number on my bag, but I threw it away,” I confess.

“It’s not like we don’t know where to find him.”

“I can’t believe Dad noticed.”

“That man would notice if you had a new freckle. You’re his little girl. He loves you more than anything. We both love you, Cassidy.”

I can’t help it. Her words are just too much. I break down in tears and let her hold me, rubbing my hair, and rocking me back and forth telling me everything is going to be okay. I’ve never had this before. I can barely remember Chastity ever putting her arms around me unless she wanted to show off for an audience. I get control of myself then bolt off the bed, not knowing what to say.

“I’m going to get you something to drink,” I say, remembering that I’m supposed to be taking care of her.

I run downstairs to make her my specialty drink that I always make for Wade when he gets sick. I fill two glasses with ice, fill them with Sprite, and then add a tiny bit of maraschino cherry juice to each one. I take them back upstairs and hand one of Lisa.

“A Shirley Temple?” she gasps with delight. “I haven’t had one of these in forever.”

“Actually since Wade doesn’t know who Shirley Temple or Roy Rogers are, I renamed it the Captain Underpants.”

Lisa holds her drink out for me to toast. We gently clink our glasses together.

“To a wonderful summer,” she cheers. I smile and take a sip of my drink, hating that I can’t just be happy that she told me she loves me, but that I have to focus on the fact that she just cheered to a wonderful summer, telling me she wouldn’t even consider a lifetime with me.

“How are you feeling?” I ask, changing the subject.

“Actually, I feel fine. I feel a little guilty about staying home. I don’t know why because those rat bastards never feel guilty about dumping their workloads on me,” she says angrily. Anger looks strange on her normally angelic face.

“What’s going on?” I ask, sensing that she needs to talk.

“It’s boring work stuff,” she says, blowing me off.

“I’m a good listener.”

She seems to be mentally weighing whether to tell me. She doesn’t wrestle with it for long before telling me all about the wedding planning business she works for and how her boss constantly takes advantage of her by taking credit for her ideas and dumping most of the work load on her. I let her vent and when she’s done I can tell that she feels better having gotten it all out of her system.