Addicted to Him (12 page)

I hesitate, not wanting to divulge too much to a near stranger, but not trusting myself to hold out against those amazing green eyes. “You can try me but I might plead the fifth,” I joke, kind of.

“What’s your favorite condiment?”

I start cracking up, relieved that he didn’t ask me some life-altering question that I would have been forced to lie about.

“Definitely Miracle Whip. I could eat it on everything. How about you?”

“Mustard. I love it on everything. Who’s your favorite band?”

I think about the selection on my iPod right now and answer without hesitation, “The Avett Brothers.”

“Love them,” he agrees and I know I’ll never listen to them again without thinking of this moment.

“My turn,” I say. “What’s your favorite movie?”

“Anything with Bruce Lee or Chuck Norris,” he confesses laughing. “Those guys are bad ass.”

“You know Bruce Lee is dead, right?”

He clutches his chest in pain then buries his face in his hands and starts fake crying.

Ava rushes up and crawls into Seth’s lap and pulls his hands away from his face. “Why are you crying? What did she do to you?” she asks, throwing me an evil glare. Henry stands off to the side with his head down examining the tops of his shoes.

“I’m sorry I scared you, bug. I was just playing. Nothing’s wrong,” he says, hugging her tight. My heart twists in my chest at the endearing gesture and it simultaneously makes me miss Wade.

“How about some shaved ice?” Seth asks, clearly trying to distract the kids.

Ava never takes her eyes off of Seth, even after he orders her a large tiger’s blood shaved ice. Her eyes darts to me every once in a while, clearly distrustful of anyone new around her brother. I can’t say as I blame her after losing her father to someone that she probably knew and maybe even liked.

Seth takes Henry to the bathroom and forces Ava to stay with me. I know I should probably just leave it alone but seeing how much self-inflicted pain Ava is in, I can’t help but recognize a kindred spirit.

“Nobody will ever be able to take your brother away from you, Ava.”

She regards me wearily her bright red tongue darting out to take another bite. “Duh, I know that,” she smarts off, crunching her ice.

“Okay, good. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a brother love a sister so much, but I’m sure you already knew that.”

She nods but I can tell that everything I just said sank in because her eyes fill with tears.

“I hate to cut this short but we’ve had a bit of a bathroom emergency and I need to get them home,” Seth says.

“God, Henry, you’re such a baby,” Ava shouts, and poor Henry looks like he wants to duck under the table.

“If you must know, Ava,” Seth shouts back. “The emergency was mine. Sometimes I still pee my pants. Are you happy now?” he says, then winks at me. Henry perks up immediately and surprisingly Ava seems to believe him and falls all over herself with remorse. We all pile back into the car and head home.

“I had fun tonight, guys. Thanks for inviting me,” I say, as I climb out of the car.

“I didn’t invite you,” Ava reminds me.

“I guess Paige will be sleeping with Henry tonight,” Seth threatens. I realize that Paige must be the doll that Ava is clutching for dear life.

“You wouldn’t. Henry wets the bed. Paige won’t tolerate such filth,” Ava counters.

“Hand me the doll and tell Cassidy that you’re sorry.”

She reluctantly hands her doll to the front seat where Seth sweetly buckles her into the seat with the seat belt. “I’m sorry I was a smart mouth, Cassidy.”

“That’s okay, Ava. I’m glad we got to spend more time together.” She rolls her eyes and turns her head. “Bye, Henry,” I say, then look back to see he is crashed out in the backseat.

“He can’t hang,” Seth says with a laugh. “Can I see you again tomorrow?”

His question catches me off-guard. I had fun tonight but I really pegged Seth as the type to move on after two dates and not so much as a kiss.

“I’m busy tomorrow,” I lie, instantly hating myself.

The disappointment on his face is so genuine that it nearly cripples me. But I know in the end I’m doing him a favor. I’m never going to be the kind of girl that a guy like him deserves. His little sister hates me and it is upsetting her that he wants to be with me. None of that is worth a summer fling. He throws the car in park, tells Ava to sit still, and comes around the car toward me. I sidestep him, and walk toward the porch, making sure we are out of Ava’s earshot.

“Did I do something?” he asks, his eyes on fire.

“No, not at all. I have a lot of fun with you. But I don’t like that Ava is getting so upset. She’s been through a lot the last few months and it isn’t fair to put her through this.”

“What about me? Haven’t I been through a lot? Don’t I deserve to be happy?” he says, getting visibly upset.

“Of course. Trust me, I’m doing you a favor. I’ve got so much baggage it isn’t even funny. You don’t need that,” I say, knowing I’m trying to do a good thing but hating myself at the same time.

“Why don’t you let me decide what I need,” he says, getting so close to me that I can feel his breath. Neither of us touches the other, but I can feel the heat coming off him, and I know that if he leaned down and kissed me I wouldn’t pull away. “Will you see me tomorrow?”

I’m tempted to tell him that I would see him every day for the rest of my life but that would be admitting that this guy has some kind of dangerous hold over me and I’m not about to admit that to him or myself. I nod numbly and watch him run back to his car and drive away.

Chapter Seven

After spending most of the next day torturing myself with playbacks of last night’s date, I try to distract myself by calling Whit. It isn’t like her not to text me back. Her phone just rolls to voice mail. I decide to leave a message on her Facebook wall, realizing she probably lost her phone again. I type out a quick message and post it to her wall. I can’t believe how bad she is blowing me off then I realize that she must have met someone. Whit never really got the memo about sisters before misters. I laugh to myself hoping that this one works out for her because her track record with guys isn’t so hot.

Even though my date with Seth is hours away, I decide to go ahead and jump in the shower.

I pour some passion fruit body wash into a loofah and soap myself up. I close my eyes and lean back into the water and think about how close Seth was to me last night. I wanted him to kiss me so bad but I know he won’t until I tell him I want him to. I can almost feel his breath against my neck again. His eyes ask me a question and I nod. His lips come down on mine, hard. We explore each other’s mouths with our tongues for several minutes but then I want more. I pull his T-shirt over his head and run my tongue down his smooth chest. He asks me if I want him and I nod, knowing I’ve never wanted anything more. He drops his pants, his hardness revealing how much he wants me, too.

In one swift move, he reaches under the dress I’m wearing and slides my panties off me. I gasp, breathless with the anticipation of him being inside me. His strong arms lift me up effortlessly. I clasp my legs around his waist and nearly scream with pleasure as he slides himself inside me.

He pounds into me, forcing himself deeper and deeper. He yanks back the top of my dress and closes his mouth around my rock hard nipple. I yell out, knowing I can’t hold back much longer. I squeeze myself around his hardness wanting to give myself over to the sweet release but not wanting it to end.

“Are you ready?” he asks, gripping my ass. I nod and feel myself start to convulse with pleasure as he throws his head back and moans. My orgasm seems to last forever and when I finally open my eyes I realize that I’m all alone in the shower, Seth nowhere to be found, with my finger still lodged inside myself, trying to catch my breath.

I finish rinsing off then get out and dry myself with one of the fluffy towels that Lisa has hung up for me. I’m still trying to process what just happened in the shower. It’s not like I’m a virgin to masturbating, but it has probably been at least two years since I’ve done it. I just haven’t felt aroused. If I even had one lustful thought, I convinced myself that something was wrong with me and that I should be ashamed of myself.

I know now that I haven’t done anything wrong to instigate the things that happened to me. I was the victim, even if I’m the only person on the planet that would probably believe that. Even though I know the stuff I just fantasized about would never come true in real life, I guess I at least owe it to Seth for bringing me back from the dead.

****

Seth picks me up in a black pickup truck instead of his Mustang. I could care less if he showed up in a rickshaw, but I immediately panic because I realize that the twins aren’t with him. I know that Seth would never cross the line with me, but after the shower episode, I’m not quite sure I can trust myself anymore.

I slide hesitantly into the truck and buckle myself in. Seth jumps in, looking excited, and takes off down the road.

“I’ve been waiting all day for this,” he says, turning out of Dad’s subdivision.

“I bet. It must be hard being cooped up in that building all day.”

“I meant to be with you,” he says, glancing over at me.

“Oh.” He doesn’t seem to be put off by my lack of reciprocation. I can’t help it. I can’t just sit here and confess that I’ve been thinking about him all day long. I can’t give him that much power.

“That movie that you wanted to see is playing at The Drive so I thought we could go.”

I’m touched that he remembers a movie I mentioned just in passing. I nod, smiling at him and relax back into my seat. I try not to glance over and watch his strong arms as he steers the truck but I fail. I can’t remember ever being this attracted to anyone in my entire life. I wish I was the steering wheel so that it was me his hands were sliding over.

“You okay?” he asks, busting me staring.

“Yeah, sorry.” I look out my passenger window to avoid embarrassing myself any further.

After fifteen minutes of driving, I realize that we aren’t headed to the theatre by the mall. We keep driving in a more remote area that I’m not familiar with until we come to the entrance of a drive-in theatre. I didn’t even realize that these things still existed.

Seth pays for both of our admissions then drives his truck through the gate and onto the lot where other drivers are parked and waiting for the movie to start. He continues down the last row and pulls into the last spot that seems a little more secluded than the others. I start to panic when I realize he just did it so that his large truck wouldn’t obscure anyone else’s view. Instead of backing into the spot like everyone else, he pulls in which confuses me until he gets out and starts arranging stuff in the bed of the truck.

I get out of the truck and make my way back to the lowered tailgate. Seth is arranging several blankets and pillows in the back of the truck to make it comfortable. He even has a cooler filled with soda and two giant paper bags that I can tell by the smell and the grease stains on them are full of buttery popcorn. Normally I would think that it was the sweetest gesture imaginable but tonight I’m petrified to sit so close to him without anyone else around. I squeeze my eyes shut tight and hope that someone parks right next to us so that I’ll be forced to behave myself.

“Come on up,” he gestures, holding his hand out to pull me up. I think about it for a second then realize how unladylike I would look trying to climb up here with a dress on and I reach for his hand. The minute our hands touch I could swear that fireworks go off in the sky. He pulls me up then reaches around and embraces the small of my back to steady me. Once he’s satisfied that I’m okay he lets go. I hate how much I want to pull his hands back to me.

“This is really cool,” I tell him, watching him pull the tailgate up. He adjusts the speaker next to the side of the truck so that we can hear the movie then settles himself beside me. I’ve scooted myself all the way against the side of the truck as far away from him as I can. I purposefully set the cooler and bags of popcorn in between us, although, I don’t think a brick wall built through the middle of this truck would be enough to keep me from wanting his hands all over me. He leans back against the pillows and starts chomping popcorn like he doesn’t have a care in the world. I wonder if maybe the mystery is gone for him because he sure doesn’t seem like he is having trouble keeping his hands to himself.

“I’m really sorry about Ava last night.”

“I get it. She thinks I’m a threat to her. She’s such a smart little girl, wise beyond her years,” I say.

“She’s grown up a lot in the last few months. She might still carry a doll around, but she understands way too much about what’s going on. I hate that I can’t shield them from it,” he says, looking sad.

I get it. I feel the same way when I know that Wade has started to unravel things that he shouldn’t know anything about at his age. I try the best I can to protect him, but Chastity seems to think that the sooner he grows up, the better. She tired with the Santa Claus routine when he was four, citing that she was fed up with Santa always getting the credit. It broke my heart that he couldn’t have that magic in his life for a little bit longer. I guess I should be thankful that she ever did it for him at all because she never did for me. Dad never knew that I always knew he was lying about Santa leaving all the gifts at his house because Chastity had told me it was just him buying them. I always wondered why she never wanted me to believe in magic but then I realized it was because she didn’t want me to know that there was something better out there for me than being with her. I keep all of this to myself because I’m sure the last thing Seth wants after working in his family’s business all day is for some girl to dump her tragic shit all over him.

“You okay?” he asks, noticing my silence. I nod quickly and thankfully the previews start playing distracting us.

I try and pay attention to the plot but Seth’s tan arms and cologne make it so difficult. All I can think about is reaching for him and telling him that I’m ready for him to put his hands on me. But he looks completely into the movie, chowing down on popcorn without a care in the world, as I’m practically going nuts imagining his hands all over my body.