All About Me (31 page)

Chapter Thirty

Friendship sucks.

Present

Throughout our journey back to St. Vito Di Capo, India cuddles on my chest, breathing steadily, and I keep asking myself
—
is this it now? Has she forgotten about the rancour and my cruelty? Then my conscience reminds me that she is not mine and the biggest test is ahead of me.

Michael proposes another trip, but we are not up for it. I just want to lie on the beach with India and enjoy her company. This is our time before we will head back to Braxton. Then we have three long months in Gargle, the place where demons from the past are still so transparent and alive. Deep down I
’
m afraid of being there with her, but neither of us has any more secrets, so everything should be so much better this time around.

After we are done with our luggage, our whole group heads to the beach, taking full advantage of this glorious weather. There is only one more day of our holiday left. One more day of my precious time with India.

We find a perfect spot away from the crowds. We stay there for a few hours, soaking up the sun and relaxing. I
’
m so concerned about making sure she has enough lotion all over her body that I forget about myself, so later on I look like a fucking lobster. The hotel is a family-run business, and after a late lunch filled with a mouthwatering variety of pasta dishes, we chill on the terrace. A few people have taken Michael
’
s offer, and they go out to explore the town. The rest of us have a few too many and by the time everyone is back, I
’
m already pissed. This is the first night when I don
’
t stress about India. She is drinking cocktails with the girls and she looks happy. Things aren
’
t perfect yet, but I
’
m slowly getting there.

I don
’
t really remember much from that night. My head is buzzing with the excitement and anticipation of what
’
s next. India is not drinking over her limit. She has a few, but in the end I
’
m the one that starts throwing up. In the early hours of the morning, the pressure of making her mine again is finally getting to me.

The next day I sneak a breakfast to our room while India is still asleep. She enjoys being treated like a princess and I
’
m scoring more points in her eyes. After that we have a few spare hours we can spend on the beach. Our plane leaves at five. This time I don
’
t have to hide before getting to my gate.

The exams are over and India has forgotten her grudge, but it looks like she hasn
’
t forgotten about Evans. Jacob and I were the last two students to move out of our house. A few months ago, we had seen another property that we both liked, so we put a deposit down. Our accommodation is sorted for next year. Dora has been cursing me off with her text messages, because I haven
’
t updated her at all on what has been going on with India and me. I like winding her up, but what happened in Italy between us will stay only between us.

I call up my mum before we check out. It
’
s better to get this phone call over and done with now, than wait when till we get back to Gargle. I
’
ve been a real shit because I didn
’
t even let her know that we landed in Sicily five days ago without any problems.

“
Oliver Morgan, do you have any idea how much you made me worry?
”
she asks when I finally get through to her. I scratch my head, wondering how to defuse the full-on argument that
’
s about to happen.

“
Yeah, I get it, but you should have known that I wasn
’
t in any trouble. My phone wasn
’
t working,
”
I lie.

Then she gives me a rant about responsibility and shit like that. She is right, after all. I should have called, but I was too busy with getting India back.

“
Mum, listen, I
’
m sorry. Things with India are back on track. We
’
re friends again and I
’
m spending the summer in Gargle,
”
I tell her.

“
I
’
m glad, but I expect better from you. Just one text message and that would have stopped me from worrying sick.
”

Mum doesn
’
t think this was the right way of getting India to trust me again. Yeah, I
’
ve tricked her, but at the end of the day everything has worked out just fine. Apparently, Mum had called the airport to check that my plane hadn
’
t crashed, so I can no longer accuse her of not caring.

Once I get off the phone, it is time to board the plane, and for some reason my stomach makes a funny jolt. Braxton, the place where everything began, is on the radar, and I don
’
t want to face what is waiting for both of us once we get there. Apparently Evans is going to wait for India in the airport. She spoke to him yesterday and today. I
’
ve done my bit; now it
’
s just a case of waiting to see what
’
s going to happen between us.

“
Everything all right with your mum?
”
she asks.

“
She told me off for not calling her.
”

“
You should be sorry. She was probably worried sick.
”

“
Wait and see what Dora is going to do,
”
I challenge her, laughing.

“
Dora is a traitor, but she believed in you when I didn
’
t, so I might as well forget that she set me up.
”

“
Don
’
t be so harsh on her. She wanted to make you happy.
”

“
And she did.
”

 
Shortly after that, we get our seats on the plane along with the rest of the group. We have a lot of snaps and great memories. India is wearing shorts and I think she purposely wants to keep me on the edge, revealing her stunning legs.

As we land, new thoughts about our future begin to spin in my head. India looks a little tense and I keep wondering if maybe, once the holiday bliss is over, she will change her mind about us, for Evans
’
s sake. I toss these unpleasant thoughts away, trying to stay confident.

The passport control takes fucking ages and I
’
m sweating. India is quiet and we don
’
t talk much.

She looks a little tense when we finally leave the passport control and step into the arrivals zone. My heart starts to hammer in my chest. Maybe I should screw the plan and my promises and just take her into my arms and tell her that the friendship sucks. She must know that I
’
m fucking in love with her.

My eyes scan the crowd and for a brief moment I
’
m relieved, because I can
’
t see Evans around. Maybe he changed his mind after all, knowing that India had five full days with me and I didn
’
t hold back and we slept together.

“
Listen guys, it
’
s going to be a while before the bus arrives. The driver had some problems,
”
Michael announces.

“
That
’
s just great,
”
India mutters.

“
Cheer up, that gives us some extra time together.
”

“
Oliver, Russell isn
’
t here. Do you think he changed his mind?
”
she asks.

I don
’
t want to crush her spirits, so I say,
“
He will be here. I don
’
t know, maybe he is stuck in traffic.
”

Deep down I feel like I want to dance. Evans freaked out and gave me a free hand. Maybe my life is not going to be miserable after all. I buy India a coffee to go while we wait for the bus. Twenty minutes later I disappear into the men
’
s room, trying to get my head around India
’
s behaviour. She cares for Evans but she loves me, even if she says otherwise. My summer is not going to be easy. I do my business in the toilet, thinking about how I
’
m going to behave around India from now on if Evans shows up.

“
So, Morgan, you finally got what you wanted.
”

I lift my head and flinch, seeing Evans standing next to me. I wonder what the hell is going on. He was at the terminal after all, so why isn
’
t he with India?

“
I have no idea what you mean, Evans. Your girl is waiting for you up there,
”
I say, trying to keep my voice even.
“
Don
’
t let her wait.
”

“
And do you think that I
’
m going to believe you? You
’
ve been trying to split us apart since she started going out with me. Now you expect me to believe that you spent five days with her and nothing happened between you two?
”

He is doing my head in right now, but he has a point. I have two options. I can behave like a real prick and tell him that I went down on her, enjoying every second of it, or I can simply state that I lost my chance when I crushed her, that I don
’
t deserve her and yes, that she chose him.

“
Yeah, I have been an arsehole and sometimes I act on an impulse, but I organised this whole trip to Italy in order to win her trust, Evans, not to split you guys apart.
”