All For Anna (26 page)

“I would be honored to
help you, although, I’m sure I’d just slow you down,” I laughed.

“Nonsense. You have a
gardener’s heart, you just need to discover it,” she said.

Kai leaned down to kiss
his mom on the cheek, before putting his arm around me. We walked down the path
toward Kai’s truck. I could feel her gaze on our backs and secretly wished we
didn’t have to leave her alone.

“Doesn’t she get
lonely?” I asked Kai once we were driving.

“Maybe sometimes, but
she has a lot of friends in this neighborhood...she’s a bit of a mother to the
whole street actually,” he said, looking at me. “You like her?”

“Yes, quite a bit. She
was just like you described her: strong, brave, an incredible woman.”

I watched the city come
into view as we headed west onto Hwy 75. I still remembered the words he had
spoken about his mom when we were at the lake a few months ago.

He squeezed my hand
gently. “Yes, she is. Do you see the similarities?” he asked.

“What?” I asked,
turning to look at him.

“I see those same qualities
in you,
Pele
,” he said. He intertwined our fingers and rested our hands
on the middle seat between us. I thought about his statement. 

We rode quietly for the
next several minutes. No words were needed. I focused on the touch of Kai’s
hand. His thumb easily traced an imaginary pattern just below my index finger,
leaving a trail of warmth behind.

It was his hands that
spoke of his character the most, I’d decided.

The firm grip which
showcased his strength, also showed his restraint. He was never overpowering.
The calluses on his knuckles were rough and hard, but so were the jobs he had
taken on. He was both willing and able to do whatever was asked of him. And
yet, somehow, these same hands had shown kindness, love, trust, safety and
protection. With each caress of my face, each hold on my hand, each rescue from
harm…they told his story.

I hoped I could be a
part of that story, too.

As we pulled into
Stacie’s driveway, Kai turned toward me in his seat.

“Don’t forget to pack a
warm jacket and several layers of pants for the evenings, Tori. The days will
get to the mid-sixties, but the evenings will be cold.”

“Okay, Kai. I have gone
camping before you know,” I said, rolling my eyes at his reminder.

“Well, camping in the
hills can be a little more challenging than a campground with hookups,” Kai
said, blocking my punch to his arm.

“I’ll pack a coat,
don’t worry, and I have a sleeping bag that Stacie found for me in the garage,
too,” I said, remembering he had offered me one of his earlier in the week.

“Okay. I’ll pick you up
around nine. It should take us just about three hours to get there, so we’ll
have plenty of daylight to set up and explore with the rest of the bunch,” Kai
said, opening his door to get out. I grabbed his arm and pulled him back into
the truck.

“You don’t need to walk
me to the door every time, Kai. Go get some rest, I’ll see you in the morning,”
I said, kissing him quickly on the lips before jumping out of the cab.

He rolled down my
window as I ran up the porch steps.

“Consider that the
first and last time you win that particular argument,
Pele
. I will
always walk you to the door. See you in the morning.”

Morning could not come
soon enough.

“So you’re really doing
this, huh?” Stacie asked, hands on her hips.

“Yes, Stacie. For the
millionth time, I’m going camping and it won’t kill me!” I said, pushing her
aside to zip my bag.

“Okay, but don’t you
remember those times Dad tried to take us and we always ended up coming home in
the wee hours of the morning? I just hope that doesn’t happen to you with all
those big, burly firemen out there; that would be embarrassing,” she said
laughing.

Thanks Stacie.

“I have everything I
need and most importantly, Kai will be there. He does this all the time, unlike
Dad, who took the pop-up camper out once a year and called it
camping
,”
I said.

“Like father like
daughter I suppose...”

Stacie answered the
knock at the door before I could comment further on that little jab.

“Hey, Stacie! How is it
you look more beautiful each time I see you?” Kai asked, stepping inside.

Stacie laughed,
thanking him as she closed the door, rubbing her belly instinctively.

“Come right this way,
Kai. Our own
Bear Grylls
is just about ready,” Stacie said while
pointing at me.

I glared at her. Kai
covered his mouth to suppress his laughter. It didn’t work. I straightened and
pulled the duffel bag over my shoulder. Stacie’s grin at my effort was less
than encouraging.

I rolled my eyes at her
and headed outside. On my third attempt to launch my duffle bag into the back
of Kai’s truck, he caught it from behind me and placed it inside easily. My
sleeping bag and pillow were next. He smiled at me without saying a word.

I always knew he was a
smart man.

“Have a great time,
Tori,” Stacie said, hugging me before adding, “And I hope I won’t see you back
at two in the morning.”

I rubbed her belly and
simply said, “You won’t. Goodbye, ye-of-little-faith.”

After filling up at the
gas station, Kai threw a brown bag full of snacks into the cab. If I’d judged
him off his physique alone, I’d have guessed he only ate salads, lean protein,
and whole grains, but that, I was learning, was definitely not the case. He had
a metabolism for which every girl in high school would have sold her soul for.
He munched now on something in the
cool
ranch
variety.

“What?” he asked,
shrugging his shoulders at me as he put another chip into his mouth.

“Do you have anything
in that bag that has less than twenty ingredients listed on the package?” I
asked.

“Hmmm...nope,” he said,
smiling. “I thought you didn’t care about all that diet nonsense.”

“I don’t really, but I
also don’t want to live on junk food alone, either,” I said.

“Well…welcome to
camping,
Pele
. You ain't gonna find anything organic, gluten-free or low
sugar around for the next few days,” he said.

I couldn’t help but
laugh at him. He was quite adorable…chip breath and all. As we drove, Kai told
me about each of the men that would be there and the women they were connected
to.

Briggs was the only one
who would be flying solo this time around. Apparently, he was taking a break
from the dating world. Kai didn’t go into too much detail about it. He seemed
to be a lot more guarded when it came to Briggs, never revealing too much at
one time. It was obvious he regarded Briggs as a brother. I could respect that.

Kai’s chief, Max
Lexington, whom they all referred to as “Chief Max”, would be there with his
wife Mrs. Julie. Apparently, she was the only reason we would have real meals
on this trip. I was already grateful for her as I watched Kai unwrap his second
cream-filled pastry.

Chief Max had hired Kai
eight years ago and was the one who had pushed him to become a paramedic after
his initial EMT certification. Then of course there was Mike, my infamous
ambulance driver who was newly married to Carla. As Kai spoke about each camper
who would be joining us, I tried to keep their names straight in my head. I
hoped once I had faces to match, that would be easier. There were at least
three other guys who would be joining us, but not until the second day.

“What are you thinking
about over there? You’ve been awfully quiet while I’ve been blabbing away,” Kai
said.

“I’m just thinking
about your station,” I said.

“What about?” Kai
asked.

“About when you became
a paramedic. Do all of you have your paramedic certification?” I asked him.

“No, not even close.
All of us have at least our basic EMT certification so we can assist with the
basic needs of people in crisis like CPR, or administering asthma treatments,
or giving out glucose…that type of thing. Really the simple difference is that
paramedics can break the skin and a basic EMT cannot,” Kai said.

“That makes sense. So
you can call a paramedic an EMT, but an EMT shouldn’t be called a paramedic if
he or she isn’t certified? That’s kinda like how it is with nurses, too. A lot
of medical assistant's or CNAs can look like an RN, but our job descriptions
and responsibilities are very different,” I said.

“Exactly. Hey...you’ve
never told me about your graduation from UT Southwest—that must have been a great
night for you and your family,” Kai said, smiling at me.

I looked out the
window, my stomach clenching with unease.

Hardly.

“I don’t remember it
that well, really. It was just your average graduation,” I said flatly.

I could feel Kai’s gaze
on my face, but pretended not to notice it. I kept my eyes focused on the trees
that filled the miles around us. The hills were in full view now and beauty
surrounded us on every side. I could see a lake, which from our current vantage
point looked more like a puddle, but I guessed we’d be seeing it up close soon
enough.

“Tori?”

“Hmm?”

“Why don’t you ever
want to talk about your family?” Kai asked.

“I talk about my
family—I talk about Stacie all the time,” I said defensively.

“No, you
tell
me
about living at Stacie’s house, but you don’t tell me about your parents or
really anything of significance,” Kai said.

I took a deep breath,
exhaling slowly.

“I don’t have what you
have, Kai. My family life is complicated,” I said, returning my gaze to the
window.

“Complicated? Like
moving to a new country, or learning a new culture, or losing your father at
ten years-old?” Kai said, driving his point home.

I felt my cheeks flush.
He was right. He hadn’t had an average childhood, either.

 “I’m sorry, I didn’t
mean to imply your life hasn’t had complications. You’ve had a lot of big
obstacles to overcome, but
your
mom chose to stick by you. She did what
was best for you and that really shows,” I said.

“And what? You’re
parents haven’t stuck by you? Every time I was over there for dinner last year,
you
were all they talked about. They talked about their daughter who was
a nurse, their daughter who had worked so hard, their daughter that they were
so proud of.”

“And what about their
daughter who was
wrecked for life
…did that come up, too?” I said, anger
pulsing through me.

“What? No. What are you
talking about?” Kai asked looking at me, concern etched on his face.

“Nothing, I really
don’t want to talk about it.”

I should have just kept
my mouth shut.

This is pointless.

“It’s too late now,
Tori. Why would you say that? You don’t really think-”

“It’s not what I
think
Kai, it’s what I heard, okay? I
heard
my mom say those very words to my
father a week before my graduation. It wasn’t exactly the celebration I had
hoped for when I passed my boards,” I said.

Kai went quiet. I knew
it must have been shocking to him, coming from a home where there was open
communication and enough love to travel to the moon and back. But that wasn’t
my home; that wasn’t my family.

Our love was conditional. 

“I’m sorry, Tori.”

“Yeah, me too.”

It was a memory I truly
hated. Those words had cut me to the core, leaving the dagger inside to
continue its damage. Sure I had learned to “play nice” with my mom since coming
home, but there was nowhere left for her and I to go. I knew the truth.

I would never forget
her words; they had represented everything I had feared and more.

Even though I knew she
was right, somehow hearing it from her had cemented my fate. There was no
glass-half full to that one. It was just
fact
.

I felt the truck come
to a stop as Kai pulled us over onto the shoulder.

“You know that’s not
true,” Kai said, offering me his hand.

I didn’t take it. I
stared ahead at the dash instead.

“Sure, fine...whatever,
let’s just go.”

“No, not fine whatever.
Look at me, Tori. This is important. You
can’t
believe that. What good
is all this work you’re doing if you believe trash like that?” Kai said,
frustration mounting on each word he spoke.

About as good as trying
to bring back the dead?

“You’re going to have
to confront her, you know that? Someday when you’re ready…it simply has to be
done. You’ll have to tell your mom what you heard her say,” Kai said.