All That Remains (17 page)

“All of them, K. It’s like he wrote to me every day. Some are completely crazy and random notes about the strange patients there and the trees in the courtyard, but others are beautiful. He never stopped thinking about me all this time.” She stops and Katie pulls her into a tight hug, causing Jules to cry harder.

“You tried to tell me -” she hiccups into Katie’s hair. “You and Austin. God, even Mindy tried to tell me to let him tell me the whole story and I wouldn’t listen.”

“Hey, don’t do that.” Katie pushes her away lightly and gives her a stern look. “Don’t blame yourself. He never had to cut you out, Jules. He could have called. He could have mailed these. He should have mailed them. What you did is understandable.”

“But he loved me!”

“And you loved him! You loved him and he cut you out when you needed him.” Katie’s points out again and Jules nods.

She felt the same way about what West did until the moment she saw his words pleading her to forgive him. Those words washed away all of her anger and now she wants nothing more than to see him. She wants to find him and tell him she needs him and loves him, too.

“Where’s Jeff?” She jumps up excitedly and grabs her phone. “Or Austin? I’ll call Austin.”

Katie gets up slowly. “They’re at practice. They won’t answer.”

“Damn!” Jules checks the time, knowing practice will most likely run for another hour.

“Jules, calm down. You’re acting like a mad woman. What do you want to do?”

“I need to see him, Katie. I need to talk to him and I don’t have his number.”

“Can’t you wait? I can get it from Jeff in an hour or so when he gets out. We were gonna get some pizza anyway. Come with.”

“Come with? Are you kidding me? I can’t wait another day!”

“Fine, fine. Chill out and let’s wait an hour. You can wait an hour, can’t you?”

Throwing her bag over her chest and grabbing West’s letters, Jules sorts the stack and stuffs them in the over-sized purse. She goes to the bathroom, as Katie tries to talk her into sitting down, and she runs her fingers through her long hair. Her eyeliner is smeared under her eyes and she wipes at her face knowing that nothing short of a good face washing is going to help sort her splotchy, tear-stained face.

“Jules!” Katie finally grabs at her arm and hauls her to a stop.

“Don’t you get it, K?” She pulls her arm free and holds Katie’s gaze. “He tried to talk to me at the party that night I was with Austin, and then the vigil, and then he called Austin and I answered. God, he tried to talk to me Saturday, then Levi showed up and he shut down. We keep getting our signals crossed and I don’t want to wait another minute to make this right. I need to know what happened with my parents and I need -”

“He’s playing football at Freemont.” Katie admits, interrupting Jules.

“He’s what!”

“The guys made me swear not to tell you. I figured you’d hear by now or West would tell you himself. I never thought you’d be able to get almost five weeks into the season without knowing.”

“How? I don’t -”

“It’s why he’s at Freemont instead of A&M. They picked him up and he’s starting QB. He’s good too, Jules. Just like back in middle school.”

“And you didn’t tell me?” Jules accuses her best friend, irrationally angry at her for keeping something this huge a secret.

“He didn’t want you to know, I promised.”

Stepping back, Jules shakes her head. “Keep Jules out of the loop - that was the goal from day one. If someone had told me the truth after the wreck, all…”

“I know, I’m sorry. He’s probably at practice, you know. It’s only thirty minutes. If not, you know where he lives. Stalk him.” Katie shrugs, offering an apologetic smile.

“Seriously, Jules, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I really didn’t think it would take him this long to tell you himself.”

“He did it for me.” All the conversations she’s had with West since she first saw him, the way he stepped back because of Austin. Even the way he stepped back the other night when Levi showed up. It was West doing what he thought she needed. She knows this irrevocable truth without even speaking to him, because just as his letters said, he did everything for her. “He did what he thought I wanted. He still thinks I should hate him.” She opens their door, grabbing her keys from the hook and turning to Katie with a smile. “I guess it’s time I make sure he knows that’s the furthest thing from the truth.”

Twenty-One

Jules

The thirty minute drive to Freemont’s campus is unbearable as Jules’ head keeps replaying the words she read in West’s letters. She thinks back to their time together, back to the stolen moments they used to share when they were both still in shock from the tornado and neither of them knew how to deal with it. She remembers the way he would walk up behind her at the funerals and slip his hand into hers without a word. As she drives she wonders how he could seemingly give up on a love like that.

She follows the signs pointing to the small stadium on campus when she pulls in. Freemont isn’t a bad school, but it’s much smaller than A&M and soon she’s parking her car in the lot next to the gym facilities on campus, two rows behind a shiny black truck she is pretty sure belongs to West.

It’s close to three in the afternoon and she sees a crowd of players standing in a huddle on the field from where she sits. Smoothing her hair one last time, she slips out of her car and crosses the parking lot keeping her eyes on the players.

Most of them have pulled off their pads and their helmets are on the ground at their feet. Jules nears the open gate to the field and looks into the stands by the entrance to see a small crowd watching the players. She’s surprised. Practices at A&M are closed and entrance to the field is virtually impossible since all of the gates are locked; you have to be a player, coach, or assistant to get in.

“Thank you, junior college security,” she mumbles, stepping into the stadium and moving to take a seat on the first row benches.

The coach’s deep voice can be heard issuing a few orders before one loud coordinated group shout and the team breaks up. Jostling with each other, the players grab their helmets, pads, and other gear and start her way. She glances around for the entrance to the locker room and sees she’s on the team side.

Perfect.

As the guys disperse, she notices West’s tall, dark head standing above a few other players still talking to a coach. He’s wearing a sleeveless muscle shirt, his pads and helmet both at his feet still. His white pants fit him to perfection and her throat goes dry at the sight. West Rutledge belongs in a football uniform. A smaller student wearing khakis and a team shirt grabs West’s equipment and West lifts his head. She sees his mouth forming words when suddenly he stops and she finds his gaze staring straight at her.

She is fifty yards, or more, away from him, but he sees her and she can’t control herself any longer. Standing slowly, she takes a few steps forward and stops, watching as West returns his focus to his coach and starts talking again. She waits for him to stop, and when the coach gives him a fist bump she moves again. To her left, several players are already talking with the girls that were sitting on the bleachers when she arrived, but she ignores them focusing solely on West. He stops halfway to her, running his hand through his messy hair and lifting his shirt to wipe his face.

His pause makes her still for one moment and then thinking of all of those big moments in movies where the couple is reunited at last, she speeds up. She hurries towards him with abandonment until a crooked smile cracks on his gorgeous face and then she is running. His arms reach out for her as she flings herself at him. Her body flies through the air and her legs wrap around his waist as she weaves her hands into his hair. Within moments, she is holding his face in front of her as his hands hold her rear and lower back, pulling her close to his body.

“What are you doing here?” he gasps, a wide smile playing on his lips.

“Shut up and kiss me,” she demands, swooping in and kissing him hard.

Whoops and cat-calls sound around them, but she doesn’t care. The salty taste of his sweat is Heaven to her after almost ten months. Tears stream down her face as he kisses her with the same abandonment she is using.

He lets out a groan as their mouths tangle together and Jules wants nothing more than to kiss him for hours; instead, she presses a few final soft kisses to his lips and pulls back slowly to look at him. West’s arms tighten protectively around her and she gets the feeling he isn’t planning on letting her go anytime soon.

“Hi to you, too,” he whispers softly, his brow arching over his warm brown eyes before he drops his forehead to her chest. Jules sets her chin atop his hair.

“Sorry, I got a little carried away,” she speaks over his head.

“You can greet me that way any day, Buffy,” he declares as he asks her again why she is there.

His voice saying ‘Buffy’ makes her breath catch and it takes a moment before she can speak.

“I got tired of waiting for you to fight for me,” she admits on a low sigh and he pulls back, bumping her chin.

“I’ve been a damn idiot. That stupid party. I let you walk away with Leroy -”

“Levi.”

“Whatever.” He grins and she gives him a watery smile. “Point is, I wanted to talk to you and I chickened out. I kept letting myself think you were happier without me. That you were better off.”

“You made decisions without asking me. You never asked me once what I wanted, what I needed.

“Baby, I know. I was stupid. I screwed up.”

“Don’t,” she warns, tugging at his hair so she can meet his eyes. “We’ve both done some stupid stuff.”

West grins. It’s the sly grin that can make a girl drop her panties in two point six seconds flat and Jules’ pulse quickens. “We need to talk.”

“Talking is overrated.” Jules smiles, leaning down to kiss him again when a deep voice interrupts them.

“Rutledge! Off the field.”

A few claps sound in the background and Jules laughs against West’s lips as he curses and acknowledges his coach.

“Going!”

West calls out to his coach and Jules wiggles preparing to jump from his arms, but he holds tight, his fingers digging into her upper thigh and pressing against her lower back. As he walks off the field, she hugs him tightly, pressing her face against the sweaty side of his neck. His stride is smooth and strong and he carries her as if she is as light as a feather. West stops at the bleachers, where she unwraps her legs and allows him to stand her on the bench in front of him so they are face-to-face.

“How did you know I was playing ball?”

“How could you not tell me?” she counters. She tries not to sound hurt, but she can see by the fall of his face he can tell she is bothered.

He cocks his head to the side almost sheepishly. “Yeah, we have a lot to discuss, don’t we?”

She nods and his hands slide from her hips to cup her face and he presses a soft kiss to her lips before moving back. “Wait here while I shower and change? I’ll be quick.” he asks hopefully, and she smiles at the anticipation in his voice.

“Of course. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Promise?”

“I swear.”

Twenty-Two

West

Ignoring the ribbing he receives from his teammates, West takes the fastest shower of his life. Within twenty minutes, he is heading out of the locker room and down the tunnel back into the stadium, water still dripping down his back. The entire time he was away from her his mind asked one question -
Is this for real?

* * *

When he looked up from the conversation with Coach and saw the glow of red hair in the seats, he knew immediately it was her. After everything they’ve been through, he never expected her to run into his arms and throw herself at his body, let alone his lips; not without a lot of explanations. He recalls her words Saturday night before she walked away and left him at his truck:

“I’ve never hated you, West. I wanted to.”

When he was in Crestdale meeting with Dr. Steel several times a week, he thought he’d finally gained the strength he needed to stop blaming himself for the things that happened to the people he loved. However, Saturday when he saw the ugly scar running the length of her arm he faltered. He ran. Again.

She deserves better, and yet he knows with every fiber of his being that he isn’t going to walk away from her tonight. He can’t, he tells himself as he walks onto the field and looks to the bleacher where he left Jules.

She’s gone.

His pulse races in a moment of panic when he doesn’t see Jules waiting for him and he quickens his pace as he heads toward the exit gates. He rounds the corner of the stadium, his heart racing in his chest, and comes to a stop when he spots her. She is leaning against the door of his truck, with her legs crossed at the ankle and her head bent as she fiddles with her cell phone. That copper colored hair he loves so much hangs down the side of her face and he lets out a sigh of relief.

West takes his time walking to his truck, watching her as he goes and waiting for her to look up. He wonders if she regrets running to him. He can’t help but think it’s grossly unfair that she came after him when he should have been the one chasing her.

She looks up when he’s almost there and a warm smile appears as she tucks her hair behind her ear.

“You scared the hell out of me. I thought you left.”

“Sorry.” Jules looks down and plays with her phone before waving it at him and finishing her sentence, “I left my phone in the car.”

“And… you had an important call to make?” he asks as he drops his duffel on the asphalt next to her feet.

“Something like that.”

He smiles at her diversion. “Did Katie tell you I was here?”

“Sort of.” She plays coy again and he shakes his head.

“Ummm, I received your letters today,” she says and his face screws up in confusion as she rushes to explain. “My parents had them and I guess they didn’t think to tell me I had mail, but they sent them with some other stuff and so I was reading them and Katie -”