All That Remains (15 page)

“Do you plan on trying to win her back?” she asks, to his surprise. “I thought for sure once you knew she wasn’t with Austin, you’d jump at the chance to see her.”

With the subject now on the table, West opens up; as much as he doesn’t want to admit his faults, he decides to explain the situation at the hole Saturday night. When he finishes, Katie looks at him in shock and Jeff rags on him.

“You said nothing?” Jeff says as their food is delivered.

West’s only reply is a shameful shake of his head. He busies himself with adding ketchup to his burger and fries, making a production of getting his meal together.

“Seriously, dude. Nothing?” Jeff asks again. “Why the hell not? You should have run and jumped in and crashed their party. Or jumped in and grabbed her.”

“She looked happy. Truly happy and I couldn’t screw that up.”

“What about you?” Katie asks, popping a french fry in her mouth.

“What about me?”

“Oh, West.” She blows out a slow breath and gives Jeff a knowing look. “You finally get the chance to make amends, and you don’t. What is wrong with you?”

“Hell if I know, Katie. You tell me. You seem to know it all,” he snaps back.

“Dude!” Jeff warns with a frown, and Katie shakes her head at him, visibly telling him it’s fine.

“You spent months when you were together telling her you’d screw up and being afraid. And then you left. I know you left for a good reason, but she doesn’t. She’s scared. She’s not going to come to you, you know,” she points out softly.

“I’m still scared of screwing up. I don’t want to hurt her again. If she’s happy now, maybe it’s best I leave her alone?”

“Hell no, man. Would you please talk to her so we can quit all this whining?” Jeff groans.

“Thanks for the support, bud.” West replies sarcastically.

“She needs to know you’ve changed and she needs to know you love her.” Katie points out. “Tell her that her parents and the shrinks were wrong. That your love wasn’t a product of the tornado or the grief of losing Tanya; or even because of your mom… Tell her you love her because of her.”

“Does she think our entire relationship was fake?” he asks, remembering the few times people had tried to make him feel like they’d only been together because of the stress they were under after the storm.

“She refused to believe it when they told her that. She swore up and down you cared, but when you cut her out you hurt her deeply. She was a mess for months.”

He grimaces at the thought of how much pain he’s caused her all because he thought it would be best for her.

“I love her, Katie. You know that don’t you? It was always real and has nothing to do with that damn storm, or my mother. It has everything to do with her. I’d been watching her for years, waiting for the chance to speak to her. I loved her… I love her, still.”

“Then tell her. That’s all girls want, West. They want to be loved irrevocably by a man for who they are. You tell her that, you remind her how amazing you two were together, and she will forgive you. I truly think she will.”

Nineteen

Jules

Jules is sitting on the kitchen island talking with Toby as he mixes drinks, when one of the guys nearby shouts.

“Hey, eye candy! Throw me one of those beers, would ya?”

She reaches across the counter, grabs a beer, and tosses it across the kitchen to the whistles of the crowd. They’d been asking for her help all night and at some point it was Toby who realized every time she stretched behind her to grab a beer from the cooler she was showing off a little thigh as her skirt rose. She doesn’t bother pretending to be offended. Most of the crowd is made up of Austin’s friends and they still assume she is off limits since Austin hasn’t bothered to tell them otherwise. They are guys being guys, so she laughs and shakes her head at their antics.

“Hey, when are you gonna dump Austin and let a real man have a chance?”

“Well… if I saw a real man around, I might consider it,” she calls back and looks at Toby with a wry grin. “No offense.”

”None taken,” he laughs, winking at her. Suddenly, his face turning comical at whatever he sees over her shoulder.

“Awe, c’mon, candy girl. Don’t you need someone to keep you warm on the nights he’s away?”

“I think I’m cutting you off, Brenden.”

“I think if Austin were here, they wouldn’t be hitting on you like that.”

The sarcastic voice behind her causes her to jump and her pulse to race. West seemingly appears out of thin air and skirts his way around the counter, where he leans casually against the island next to her dangling legs. The shirt he wears hugs the muscles in his arms tightly and she’s struck, again, by how much he’s changed since she saw him last.

She sits there, her mouth open wide, as he looks up over his shoulder and smiles at her. His black hair looks damp at the ends and he smells fresh, as if he recently got out of the shower and came straight to this party.

“Hey man, it’s been a while,” Toby nods and throws his hand out. She watches them in silence as they do a high-five handshake combo thing. “Hey, asshats,” he calls to the guys Jules had been throwing beers to all night. “I’m guessing you haven’t met West yet.”

From the corner of her eye, she sees West’s brows rise and the guys standing around stare at him with confusion. It’s obvious to her they don’t know who he is.

“Austin’s brother,” she finally tells them when neither West nor Toby bother to explain.

The laughs and “no way” comments that typically accompany a group of college-aged guys ring out. Introductions go around and they chat about the away game this afternoon.

“I missed it, unfortunately,” West offers and Jules can’t help but gape at him. He didn’t miss a game when they were together last year. What would make him miss one now?

“So, brothers away and you’re checking up on his eye candy?” Brenden asks, and she wants to vanish.

“Something like that,” he mutters, returning back to leaning on the counter at her side.

Jules sits there, a casual observer, as the guys continue to talk and Toby continues to mix drinks for newcomers. She considers slinking away, but her position in the middle of the kitchen and right next to West means she can’t get away unnoticed. When a bunch of sorority girls enter the house twenty minutes later, Brenden and his gang finally excuse themselves and Jules finds herself alone with Toby, West, and the liqueur.

She’s studying her manicure when West clears his throat and finally speaks again. “The bartender always gets the prettiest girls hanging around, huh, Toby?”

“No doubt, man.”

She looks up and bites back a smile at West. His face is so close to hers, she can smell the woodsy scent she recognizes as purely West Rutledge.

“Let me grab you a beer,” she offers, leaning over as she did for Brenden and the guys to dig a can out of the cooler. Her left arm reaches across her body as she goes to hand him the beer and he shakes his head.

“No thanks. I don’t drink anymore.” His eyes flick down to the beer in her hand and then back to her face.

“Since when do you not drink?” she asks at the same time as his face changes. It’s like he’s seen a ghost and he grabs her wrist before she can pull away. His touch makes her insides go crazy.

She realizes, too late, what he’s seen. His thumb rubs over the small tattoo at the base of her palm and she swallows hard at the caress. Her blue eyes divert away from his dark ones as he looks over the permanent reminder she wears.

It’s a small anchor, nothing fancy, but there’s no way he can deny knowing exactly what it means to her. To them.

He leans infinitely closer, his thumb still moving over her skin, and she makes a fist to keep from shaking. His hand slides up her arm; his thumb finding the long scar running the length of her forearm and he drops her arm as if it were a hot coal.

“Since I almost killed you the last time I did,” he whispers and it takes her a moment to realize he is answering her question.

Standing straight, he steps away from her; holding his hand up before his mouth tightens and he walks away. Just like that. He steps out of the kitchen without a backward glance and Jules is left with shaking limbs, a confused head, and one very shocked Toby staring at her.

She runs her fingers through her hair as Toby stands there. “It’s complicated.”

“I’ll say. Your scar, he’s the reason you got it?”

The kitchen is starting to fill up again, but Toby ignores them as he asks Jules the question.

“I didn’t know anyone paid attention to it.” She slides off the counter and pours herself a small shot. Throwing her head back, she lets the liquid fire burn down her throat and into her stomach; the warmth knocks out the chill West left behind when he walked away.

“Did he cause it?” Toby asks again.

“No. It wasn’t his fault.” Her hand moves to the bottle again and he stops her.

“He seems to think it is.”

Toby looks at her and she agrees silently, tears pricking her eyes as she nods. Toby moves the shot glass away from Jules. He turns, looking at the path where West exited the kitchen.

“Go after him.”

“What!”

He laughs, “Jules, seriously you think I don’t know you and Austin aren’t a couple? He calls you ‘eye candy’ and never touches you. I’m a bartender; I’m trained to notice this stuff.”

“I hate to break it to you, Toby, but you’re a frat boy drink server. Not an actual bartender.” She tries to be cute, sarcastic even, but the stress of the moment has left her voice shaky.

“So what? I’m not wrong. Go after him,” he says again, more forcefully.

“Why?”

“Because you care.”

Jules heart races, her mind toys with her. “It’s not that simple.”

Toby levels a look on her. It’s daring her to move.

The look in West’s eyes when he saw her tattoo flashes before her. That warm melting chocolate gaze that had seduced her more than a few times in the past is seared in her memory. She wants to be over him, and yet, she’s not. She never was and everyone’s been right. They need to talk things through.

She’s been angry, and let her pride get the best of her by refusing to let him back in; but it’s been a lesson in futility. They need to iron things out once and for all.

“Thanks, bartender,” she teases, pressing a friendly kiss to his cheek and then begins elbowing her way through the crowd in search of West.

* * *

She scans the house, looking for his tall dark head among the sea of people dancing and hanging out around the large open space. She notices Jess tucked into a corner talking with some guy and she makes her way to her friend’s side, excusing herself as she slides between them.

“Have you seen West?” she whispers and Jess straightens from her lazy position against the wall.

“West?” she asks, surprised. “No. He’s here?”

“Yeah, he’s here,” Jules says as she looks over the heads in room. “I’m looking for him now. You’re the DD tonight, right?”

“Yep. Promise I haven’t had a drink.” Jess crosses her heart with her index finger as she asks, “What’s your plan?”

Jules looks at her friend and shrugs. The girls have been after her for weeks to work things out with West and now she finally can. She can see the hopeful look in Jess’ eyes as they stare at each other.

“If I don’t come back before you’re ready to go call my cell; I’m going to try and find him.”

“And if you find him, might I be heading home alone?” Jess asks with a wink and a smile, giving Jules hope.

She doesn’t want to go that far, but she acknowledges the possibility to Jess. “I don’t know. Call me.”

Jess pulls her into a quick hug, whispering ‘good luck’ into her ear as she lets her go.

Thinking West might have intended to leave, Jules rushes out the door and down the drive to look for him. She doesn’t know what type of car he drives anymore and the driveway and street are lined with vehicles. She walks to the street and looks both ways down the road. Seeing nothing, she considers going to the back of the house when a car alarm beeps twice.

A light goes on in a large truck on her left and she rushes towards it when she sees his silhouette leaning against the driver’s door.

“You’re leaving?” she cries out, drawing the looks of a few bystanders.

His right hand is on the driver side handle, his left is draped up across the top of the door, and his head drops at the sound of her voice, the top of it resting against the window as if to brace himself when he speaks.

“Yeah, I need to go.”

She stops at the hood of the black over-sized truck. “Why did you come here tonight? You knew Austin wasn’t going to be here, so why bother?”

He doesn’t move from his spot and she knows he’s grappling with something.

“It’s been four weeks,” she points out, recalling the amount of time since the vigil and his phone call to Austin that morning.

He groans and pushes away from the glass and turning to lean his back on the truck. He looks straight ahead instead of at her as he answers her. “I know.”

“Four! So why did you come?” She’s angry now. She tries to hold it in, but suddenly she can’t. He could have called her and asked her about Austin. He could have fought for her, instead he ran. Again.

“I wanted to see you. Katie said you were here.”

“Katie? How’d you-”

“Austin told me what dorm you live in and I went by earlier hoping to talk. Katie told me you were here.”

She mentally curses both Austin and Katie for not sending her any type of warning signal. “So, then why are you leaving?” she asks again.

“Jules - I need to go. I shouldn’t have shown up without calling you, I’m sorry.” He opens his door and she slams her palm down against the side of his gorgeous shiny black vehicle.

“Sorry? Wow, so sorry that you’re not even going to bother to stick around and talk, huh? You’re just walking away… again.” Her hand tugs at her hair, scooping it away from her face and to the side. “I don’t know why I’m surprised; you didn’t care enough to stick around the last time. Not even to see if I was okay.”

She spins to leave and the truck door slams behind her. The loud clatter of keys dropping to the ground sounds as West grabs her from behind and pulls her back. He releases her, spinning her to face him, and he pushes her up against the truck.