All That Remains (7 page)

“You’re joking, right?”

She shakes her head, “Then why didn’t you say something?”

“I’ve been taking it slow, Jules.” He turns away from her, leaning against the shed and looking up at the branches above them. She’s tempted to stop him before he says too much, but instead remains silent as he continues. “I can’t lie to you… I’m interested. I didn’t plan on it, but you’re an amazing girl and we… we just work.”

A small cry escapes from her lips and she fights to hold back another rush of tears.
This was not in the plans,
she thinks as Austin curses low under his breath.

“I’m not pushing you, Jules. I’ll give you all the time you need. I know this sucks. I know it’s not ideal, but I can’t help how I feel.” When she lets out another soft cry, he pulls her into his arms and tucks her head under his chin. “Hell, what do I know? Maybe this is just a crush. A rebound for us both.”

She nods her silent agreement at his suggestion. Standing there with Austin, she feels affection for him, but it doesn’t feel anywhere near as powerful as what she felt for West.

“I hate him,” she admits in a frustrated whisper and Austin flinches.

“No, you don’t. West was a fool for walking away the way he did last year, but he had his reasons. You need to give him a chance to explain them before you decide anything.”

She shakes her head vehemently, bumping his chin as she pulls back at Austin’s laughter.

“I can’t… we’re over… there’s nothing between us.” Her phrases are broken, rambling declarations. Unfortunately, they ring falsely no matter how true she wants them to be.

“Jules, you showed more life in that one-minute tirade you let loose on my brother than you have in the three weeks we’ve been hanging out. Maybe you’re over, but you two aren't done.”

“It’s the same thing. Stop playing word games.”

He drops his arms and moves away from her, his face almost completely in the shadows of the overhead branches now. “I’m not playing. If I made you feel that way, that passionate, we would have happened by now. Hell, I was ignoring the facts, but they’re kinda hitting me in the face right now. Literally.”

“That passion you think you saw was my hate for him, nothing else,” she replies and flinches at her own lie.

“Hey, sweetie?” Austin interrupts. He turns his head her way and she can see the white of his teeth in the dark as he smiles. “You don’t have to lie to me, you know that right? We’re past that part.”

She hears his words, but lowers her face. Staring at the ground, she pictures herself as she was those first few months after West left - a broken body and a broken heart. She’d worked so hard to come back from those things and in walks West as if nothing happened, and she breaks again. Furious with herself for letting her wall crumble so easily, she lifts her shoulders and shakes her head as she stands tall. “We’re friends, right?” He stands there silently. “I mean regardless of what happens or doesn’t happen with us or West. You and I will be friends. I don’t want to lose that, Austin.”

“Of course.”

“Then let’s go back to the party.”

“Jules?”

“And, let’s not talk about him.”

Three weeks ago she’d asked the same thing of him. It isn’t fair right now, but she needs it. She needs Austin as her friend, or maybe as something more. She doesn’t know yet and, until they know for sure, she’s selfish enough to cling to him. Clinging to him keeps her sane as she prepares for the days ahead when she will have to face West and try to make peace with everything that transpired last December.

Austin takes her hand and pulls her out of the dark, but not without hesitance as he repeats the same word he said to her three weeks ago.

“Deal.”

Nine

West

West slams the front door to the house he shares with his brothers. A million words, none of which are remotely flattering to Austin, cross his lips as he throws himself on the couch to wait for his brother to come home. He’d lingered at the party waiting to see Jules and make sure Austin was with her, but the sight of them coming out from the back corner of the yard, hand in hand, left a bitter taste in his mouth. Three weeks! They started seeing each other after he came home. In secret.

“Son of a bi-,” West growls into the dark room, punching the pillow on the couch.

It’s the memory of seeing her hand in Austin’s that gnaws at him as he waits. He plays her angry words over and over in his head, thinking about what she’d said. He’d made a huge mistake; he never should have followed them and he certainly shouldn’t have punched Austin, no matter how much he deserved it. No, he owed her way more than she owed him. He shouldn’t have let his jealousy play a part in their meeting.

It’s close to midnight when the front door opens. Expecting Austin, West takes a deep breath; he’s finally talked himself into remaining calm until he can hear the facts from his brother.
No more jumping to conclusions,
he repeats in his head as the light on the table next to him flips on. Mindy and Carson walk in startled to find him slumped on the couch.

“West! You scared the crap out of me!” Mindy squeals, pressing her hand to her chest. “What are you doing sitting in the dark?”

He sits forward, propping his elbows on his knees and taking his head in his hands. “He’s not coming home.” There’s a pause and West looks at his oldest brother. Carson locks the front door behind him, shrugging as he exchanges a questioning look with Mindy. “Tell me you two didn’t know?” West asks.

“Didn’t know what?” Mindy asks, as she crosses the room and sits beside him on the couch.

“Austin is with Jules.”

“What?” Carson’s knee-jerk reaction answers West’s question. He’d had no idea.

“No way,” Mindy shakes her head.

“Why do you think that?”

West laughs at their denial, “Can’t deny it when I saw it with my own eyes.”

“Wait, you mean you saw them together? Tonight?” Mindy asks gently, the more level headed one, as usual.

West explains how he saw them on campus, how Austin said he was going on a date, and then he tells them about the punch and Austin’s comments.

“Three weeks. He said he’s been hanging with her for three weeks… how could he? I told him to come home, that we needed to talk about it.” He checks the watch on his wrist. “It’s almost midnight, think he’s coming home still?”

“Did you call him?”

“Do you think I’m an idiot? Of course I called him!” West snaps at Mindy’s question and Carson jumps on his attitude.

“Hey! I know your pissed, but don’t be rude,” he warns. Mindy pats West’s knee when he gives her his best apologetic look.

“It’s fine. Of course you’re upset. What did Jules say? She must have been as surprised to see you as you were her. Especially after all this time.”

“Yeah, I don’t think she’s my biggest fan anymore.” He stands, stretching as he looks at Carson. “Always the screw-up, huh, bro?” he mumbles.

Carson grabs his arm, his large hand gripping it tighter than necessary. They stand face-to-face, West an inch taller than his older brother, and they look at each other. Carson, the mentor brother, who’s always tried to be there for his younger brother and blames himself for not doing enough when their mom died and their world fell apart. West, the baby of the family, the one who messes up and brings down the grade curve on the illustrious Rutledge family tree.

“Don’t you dare start that again,” he orders. His fingers squeeze West’s bicep when he tries to look away. “Man, I’m serious. You’re not a screw-up. First, no matter what it might have looked like, Austin would never do that to you behind your back. Second, I don’t think Jules would either.”

“How do you know what Jules would do? I’m not sure I even know.”

“The girl I met wasn’t that girl, bro. Stop with the puppy dog act.” Carson pushes him away as if he can’t stand to look at him.

“He’s right, you know. She loved you, West, and Austin loves you. Don’t flip out until you know what’s going on.”

“I told myself the same thing as I sat here and waited for him to come up, but at this point,” he pulls out his phone and checks the time again. “At this point, I think it’s safe to say he isn’t coming home. What does that say?”

“That he stayed at the dorms. That he drank too much and couldn’t drive.” Carson throws the thoughts out and Mindy adds one, “That he wants to piss you off?” Hers is the most believable of the three and West pins his hopes on that.

“You’re hitting the gym with me in the morning, right? Get to bed and we’ll deal with this later.”

“I can’t, I -”

“West. Go to bed. You’ve got other things to deal with right now. You’re going to concentrate on your first game next Saturday and let everything else slide. Football needs to come first right now.”

He catches his brother’s eyes and lets his words sink it. Football over Jules? Suddenly, it’s like he’s back to being thirteen and making a decision that will change his life.

No,
he tells himself, forcing his mind to forget his past way of thinking. They’re not related, football and Austin and Jules; one doesn’t hinge on the other.

He sighs as Carson nods at him. “Screw it. You’re right. I’m going to stay focused on the game. If you talk to him tell him to stay at school. I don’t want to deal with him. Not until after my first game.”

They say a tense goodnight and he heads to bed, willing his heart to listen to what his lips have just finished saying.

One hurdle at a time.

Dr. Steel has drilled those words into his head. One hurdle, one victory.

Making the team at Freemont, especially after having taken five years off, was a huge victory. The next would be his first game. His first game, which also happens to fall on the one year anniversary of the tornado that started this all.

* * *

The next few days fly as West eats, sleeps, and dreams football. Final practices, weight room training, watching game films, and going over his playbook until he knows it backwards and forwards. He attends his first class, a simple Psych 101 class, as if he hasn’t had enough psych to last a lifetime over the past five years.

Ten

Jules

“Hey roomies!” Katie’s giddy scream echoes through the entire building as she bursts into Jules’ dorm room.

“We’re in here!” Jules and Jess call out from the other adjoining room. They, along with a new student they’ve yet to meet, are sharing adjoining suites. Jess and the new girl, Cassandra, are in one room, while Katie shares with Jules.

“We’re in here?” Katie’s mocks sarcastically coming through the bathroom door. “That’s all I get from the welcome wagon?”

Dropping the pillows she's holding as Jess makes the bed, Jules gives her best friend a huge hug. “Where’s Jeff, I thought he was helping you move the heavy stuff in?”

“Nah, I don’t have much and he wanted to go do some guy thing… besides, that’s what you two are for, right?” She smiles falsely and bats her eyelashes at them.

The girls make three trips from Katie’s illegally parked car to their second-floor door room instead of waiting for a free cart and assistance from the college moving in crew. All around them, students carry boxes of clothing, bedding and mini-fridges - all of the college necessities - to their new rooms; the excitement is tangible. Their building, named Ward, is situated similar to a hotel with interior entrances off of long sterile hallways. Each floor has two common areas on each end, strewn with couches, chairs and tables, as well as snack machines that work eighty percent of the time. Against her parents’ wishes, she’s chosen a co-ed building to live in. It seems to be coming in handy for many of the girls in Ward as the majority of heavy lifting is currently being done by a bevy of hot males. Jules pushes the plastic box of clothing in her arms into Jess’ back as her friend stops to stare at one of the many shirtless boys sweating on their floor.

“Traffic jam, much?” Jules sings and Jess mumbles a distracted apology over her shoulder.

Once they finish unpacking the car, the girls blast some music, order pizza for lunch, and begin organizing their belongings, decorating and gossiping.

“Oh my word! I forgot to tell you I ran into Candy the other day.”

Jules rolls her eyes and lets out a breath of exasperation at the mention of her old classmate Candy Crenshaw. ‘Randy Candy’ as the boys preferred to call her had ended up at a different high school after the tornado and, with the exception of two hospital visits after her accident, Jules hasn’t seen her more than a handful of times in the past year.

“Seems she found herself a man in uniform and she’s getting married before he transfers in a month.”

“What!”

“Yep, Army boy. Can you believe it? They barely know each other, but she says it was love at first sight. How much you want to bet there's a bun in the oven already?”

“Wow, who would have thought?” Jules says with a sigh and disappears to the bathroom to unpack Katie's pile of beauty products.

“It sounds kind of sweet,” Jess pipes in. She’s standing on a chair holding up a string of outdoor lights as Katie uses special Velcro hooks to hang them. “Maybe she's in love. Boys in uniforms are mmm, mmm, good!”

“Oh yeah! I’m partial to superheroes… have you seen those uniforms?” Katie teases and both girls swoon over the spandex wrapped thighs of Thor and Captain America.

* * *

It’s close to three when they’re done setting up both Jess and Katie’s areas. The commotion both outside their building and inside the hallway is still going strong. Throughout the day, they’ve been hit with invites to three separate events for the night - a dorm mixer, an informal freshman gathering in the quad, and a mutual friend of Austin’s dropped by with an invite to a house party. Katie and Jess beg Jules to attend the house party, but she’s hesitant, worried West might show up. She hasn't spoken to Austin since he brought her home after the incident with West Thursday night. The whole situation seems awkward, and she is doing her best to ignore it as long as she can.

“Okay, tell us about Austin,” Katie requests.