Altar Ego (2 page)

I woke with a start. It was very early and I could feel Adam laid next to me. I turned to look at him. He was flat out, his chest rising and falling with each deep breath he took. I used to look at him with adoration as he slept but today I was only filled with sadness as I wondered what would happen to us now.

I slipped out of bed quietly and went into the bathroom. I quickly brushed my teeth and splashed ice cold water on my face. I scraped my hair up into a high ponytail, and grabbed my shorts, vest and some underwear from the dressing room.

I slipped my running shoes on in the hallway and let myself out of the house.

I stuck my earphones in and turned up the volume on my music player. Green Day blasted out as I turned out of the drive and across the road. I was headed for the park and I hoped that none of the other joggers would be out yet seeing as it was only 4.30am.

I went at a steady pace till I reached the park gates then I picked up speed and sprinted a full lap. As I approached the gates again I saw another runner. He was well over six feet tall and very well toned. His muscles rippled beneath the fabric of his t shirt. He turned onto the path ahead of me and I fell into a steady pace again right behind him. I watched as his thigh muscles contracted with every step he took. He really was an amazing sight for sore eyes.

I shook my head at myself and picked up speed again, passing by the Adonis and leaving him in my dust clouds. I concentrated on the music and focused on my heart beat. With every pounding step I kept my breathing steady so as not to tire myself out.

I was really hitting it hard. I thought if I could just run, I would forget what had been going on at home. I needed to get it out of my head before it took over. It wasn’t so bad right? I mean. It could have been worse. He could have been having an affair. Oh God! What if he IS having an affair and that’s why he doesn’t get turned on by me anymore.

I was tormenting myself now. I tried to pick up my speed even more, I turned the volume of my music up a notch and I ran like the wind in an attempt to forget.

That was when the searing pain hit me. My leg literally stopped working and I slowed to a limp. I had cramp in my calf muscle and it was excruciating.

Just run through it. I told myself. It will stop hurting eventually. You have put up with worse. You have given birth twice without pain relief. Surely a bit of cramp isn’t going to hold you back?

I kept going and managed another fifty yards or so before my calf muscle was screaming at me to stop. I fell to the floor and felt the tears on my cheeks as I massaged my calf furiously.

I was suddenly aware of someone crouching down next to me.

“If you are going to race like an idiot, you really should make sure you have warmed up first.”

I looked up into the iciest eyes I had ever seen. There was nothing friendly about them, and I felt a little bit afraid of him.

“Nobody asked you to stop did they?” I snarled at him.

He gripped my wrist in his hand and pulled it close to his chest.

“No. You are quite right. They didn’t. But I did anyway. So be nice and I will help you.”

His face was beautiful...and stern.

I was aware that I was staring at him as he knelt down on the path next to me and pulled my foot into his groin. I took a sharp breath in as he unlaced my trainer and flexed my foot against his tight stomach muscles. He ran his hands up my leg and slowly but firmly massaged my calf muscle until the cramp had subsided.

He looked up at me, keeping his hands firmly on my leg so I couldn’t move it.

“Better?” He asked.

I nodded. I couldn’t speak. Here I was at just before 5am in the park sitting on the floor with my foot in the groin of a gorgeous young man. I mean, he couldn’t have been more than thirty, while my husband slept in our marital bed. 

He raised an eyebrow.

“Why are you out alone at this time in the morning?” He asked. He was gruff and to the point, and he still had a hold of my leg.

“What are you?” I replied indignantly. “My dad?”

I pulled my leg free and drew my knees up to my chest as if I would be more protected from this...this...God. Actually there was no other word to describe him.  If God were a person, he would look exactly like this.

He laughed, only briefly, but it was a laugh of sorts.

“I’m clearly not old enough to be your dad.” The stern face was back.

“But I know that if I were your husband you would not be out of my sight.”

He stood up and held his hand out to me.

I paused before taking it and letting him pull me up to a standing position.

“Well it’s just as well that you are not my husband then isn’t it?”

I glared at him, but did not move to release my hand from his. He pulled me towards him with a sharp jerk. I was right in front of him, my eyes focused on his chest. His pecs and even his nipples were clearly visible through his T-shirt and I closed my eyes so that I wouldn’t stare. I wanted to. Man...I really wanted to look him over properly and revel in the sight of him but I needed to control myself. I was way too old for him. What was I thinking? I’M MARRIED!

“Open your eyes.” He said.

I opened them and slowly looked up at his face.

He dipped his head slightly so he was even closer and spoke quietly.

“You can keep running away from whatever you are running from. Or you can go home and face your demons. “

He inhaled as if smelling my hair, swallowed loudly and then continued.

“When you have done that, call the number on this card.” He held a white gloss card in front of my face.

“Tell them Dominic has sent for you.”

With that he pressed the card into my hand, released me and continued with his run.

I was left standing there in the park, with the sun rising behind me, watching this obnoxious stranger and his incredible thighs running away from me and I was totally stunned.

My calf on the other hand felt much better and I crouched down to put my trainer back on.

I decided against running through the park any more. I really did not want to run into him again.  So instead I took a brisk walk to the park entrance and headed for home.

I arrived home and flicked the kettle on. I made myself a strong black coffee and sat down at the table.  I kicked off my trainers and rubbed my foot up the back of my calf. I swear I could still feel the heat from his hands.

I could still feel the heat from Dominic. His name kind of rolled off of the tongue. I wondered what his surname was. Was he married?

I put the card on the table and picked up my coffee. I took a long gulp of it and studied the card. It was plain white, gloss laminated on both sides and the only detail was a telephone number embossed in black.

Who on earth was he? And furthermore who the hell did he think he was?

I slipped the card inside the waistband of my shorts as I heard Adam coming down the stairs.

“Good Morning.” He called. He was too cheery for my liking.

“Is it?” I was short and terse in my response.

He moved to the worktop and made himself a cup of tea.

“Elise. You have been a bit off lately.” He said with his back to me. “Will you please tell me what’s going on?”

I took a deep breath in before I started talking.

“I was in your office yesterday. Checking the emails and looking for the phone bill.” I told him.

I watched him closely and I was certain his shoulders tensed up. It was like he knew what was coming.

“Do you want to explain to me why you have that little...no sorry....huge stash of porn on your computer?” 

I bit back the tears. I was angry and my chest hurt inside but I was not going to let him see just how hurt I was.

He turned slowly to face me, leaning against the counter.

“Not really.” He said.

I was stunned!

“Not really?” I replied. “Not fucking really?” I could not hold the tears back any longer. “That’s all you are going to say?”

“I’m sorry.” He said, looking into his mug of tea. “I am...really.”

“You are unbelievable.” I shouted now. “That’s not good enough Adam. What the fuck is going on with you?”

I stood and put my mug in the sink.

“I don’t know why Elise, I promise you.” He moved to stand behind me. “It isn’t a new thing. It’s been on there for years.” He put his hands on my hips.

“Get your dirty fucking hands off me.” I spoke calmly now but through gritted teeth. “You haven’t been interested in me since we came back from Florence. You haven’t gone to bed at the same time as me, and you haven’t responded to any of my sexual advances.” I was crying now. “I thought maybe there was an issue. A health issue maybe. I tried to cut you some slack Adam.” I looked at him in a different light. “But now I discover that the only problem is my loose, flabby, old forty year old body.”

I moved past him to leave the kitchen.

“Elise. Don’t say that. That’s not true.” He followed me.

“Don’t you dare Adam.” I shouted. “For years you have told me you can’t understand why men get excited over blonde bimbos with false tits and fake orgasms. Yet here you are. Getting off over them every night while I lay upstairs wondering what the fuck I have done wrong!”I pointed my finger at him. “You need to come up with an explanation.” 

I walked away trying my hardest to stop the tears from falling.

“But Elise...” He started.

“Don’t Adam.” I didn’t bother turning around, just paused on the stairs.

“How can I explain it to you when I don’t understand it myself?” He said quietly.

“I don’t know Adam. I really don’t know.” I sighed and continued upstairs.

I sat on the edge of the bed and went over our conversation in my head.  I just didn’t get it.

I stripped down to my underwear and stood in front of the full length mirror. I wasn’t perfect. Far from it. But surely it wasn’t that bad? I turned one way and then the other taking in my reflection.  I had a little extra weight around my middle, but my thighs were still toned, and my breasts didn’t sag. What on earth was so fucking wrong with me that he needed that?

I walked away from the mirror and stepped into the shower, letting the hot water run over me and wash away the disgust he had planted within me.

I dressed in a simple pencil skirt, white blouse and black heeled court shoes. I would go out for lunch and a spot of shopping. That would cheer me up I was certain.

I picked up my handbag and my keys and let myself out of the front door. I could hear Adam on the phone in his office. I didn’t bother to let him know I was going out.

I parked in the town centre and wandered into the tiny coffee house that I loved.

I ordered myself a cappuccino and an almond croissant and sat by the table in the window. I could see all the hustle and bustle of the town from here, and it was just starting to get busy.

The waitress brought my coffee and croissant over and I thanked her. I placed my mobile phone on the table, and I took the card out of my bag where I had hidden it earlier.

I turned it over in my hand several times. I don’t know what I expected from it.

I picked up my phone and googled the telephone number. Nothing came up. Not that I expected it to really, but you never know.

I tapped the number into the touch screen.

My finger hovered over the call button momentarily but then I hit cancel and picked up my cup instead scolding myself silently for my moment of foolishness.

I stared out of the window. There were lots of people passing by now. I liked to people watch. I try to work out who people are and where they are going. Sometimes I make up stories in my head that are so unbelievable they make me laugh to myself.

I am smiling at the thought of this when I see him. He is striding purposely towards the coffee shop. He is wearing a pair of faded blue 501s and a white shirt. He looks amazing ...and young. I shake my head and pick up my phone trying desperately to look as if I haven’t noticed him.

I hear the door open and I dip my head down over my phone staring intently at it. He won’t notice me anyway. Why on earth would he notice me?

After quite some time I hear a chair scraping across the floor and I look up from my phone slowly.

He is sitting across from me as large as life holding a coffee cup in his hand.

“I’m disappointed.” He says, taking a mouthful of his coffee.

“What?” I look at him in disbelief.  “I don’t know who you think you are but...”

He cut me off abruptly.

“It doesn’t matter who I think I am. What matters is that I am exactly what you are looking for.”

He sits back in his chair. He has an air of confidence about him that is incredulous really. Nobody can be that confident. Not in the real world. I blink, and try to bring myself to my senses.  This couldn’t be happening. He had some kind of hold over me and he knew it.

“Your demons were too big to face alone then?” He asked.

It was as if he could read my mind. How could he possibly know? Was it that obvious?

I said nothing. He reached across the table and picked up my phone. He slid his thumb across the screen and pulled up the call history. There was the number. Right at the top of the list. He smiled at me and slid the phone across the table towards me.

“Hit the call button.” He told me.

“But you are sitting right in front of me.” I argued, not really understanding why I needed to call him.

“Are you always this difficult?” He asked me.

I watched his face for a change in expression, but there wasn’t one.  He just stayed the same, stern and cold looking. So why on earth was I so attracted to him?

I picked up my phone and pressed the call button. It rang once and then a man answered.

“Yes?” His voice was masculine.

“I...err...Dominic sent for me.” I told him.

The phone disconnected and I looked at it in disbelief.

“What the f...?”

“Just wait.” He said.

I was certain I saw the hint of a smile, but it was so fast I could have been mistaken.

Within minutes a car pulled up outside of the coffee shop. It had blacked out windows and a private plate that read ‘ALTR’. Dominic stood and held his hand out to me. Without a second thought I picked up my bag, took his hand and followed him onto the street outside.

He opened the rear door and gestured for me to get in. I took a split second to consider that what I was doing was stupid. Dangerous even, But I got in anyway.

He slid into the seat next to me and stared straight ahead. He didn’t say a word until we left the town centre when he turned to me and spoke softly.

“What is your name?”

“Elise.” I told him.

“Well. Elise.”

He pulled out a piece of black satin.

“Where we are going is very elite. None of our members other than VIPs know where it is, and I’m afraid that will have to go for you too.”

He wound the fabric around his hands and I gasped as I realised it was a blindfold.

I opened my mouth to speak but he stopped me in my tracks.

“No harm will come to you Elise. I promise you that.”

He didn’t give me the chance to respond. He just leaned in and placed the blindfold over my eyes, tying it tightly at the back of my head.

He was so close to me while he fastened it that I could smell him.  It was intoxicating and I couldn’t help but breathe in and take his scent into my nostrils.

“The number plate.” I said. “What does it mean?

“It is the name of where we are going.” He spoke in an abrupt manner.

“Altar?” I turned to look at him, as pointless as it was with a blindfold covering my eyes. “Like a lamb to the slaughter?”

He touched my chin and ran his thumb over my lips firmly.

“No Elise. You are missing the point.” He leaned in so I could feel his breath on my face. My lips parted in anticipation and he pushed his thumb inside my mouth before drawing it out and stroking my lips again with the aid of my own saliva. “It’s called Altar because you are to be worshipped. A thing of beauty.” 

He moved away from me and I felt alone, bereft. I needed the contact from him. He gave the impression that as long as he was touching me I would feel safe.

I lost track of time as we travelled to our destination. Having one of your senses removed will do that to you, but I was suddenly aware that the car was no longer moving.

“Are you ready Elise?” Dominic asked me.

His voice was gentler somehow, as if he was trying to give me something to hold on to. I had absolutely no idea what was going to happen to me, and to be honest I didn’t really care. For some strange, and maybe stupid reason I trusted him. I knew that no harm would come to me.

“I’m ready.” I told him. “I don’t know what for, but I’m ready to find out.” I laughed nervously.

“Good girl.” He took my hand. “You have nothing to fear here Elise. I’m going to make you feel more alive than you have ever known.”

He climbed out of the car and pulled me gently towards the door. I felt his hand rest behind my head and guide me out of the car till I was standing. I was aware of the sunlight through the blindfold but I couldn’t see anything. He let go of my hand and a sudden feeling of panic coursed through me.

“I’m right here Elise.” I heard him say from behind me.

He placed his hand on my neck and squeezed slightly until I started to walk gingerly in the direction he was pushing me. I heard the sounds of a door being unlocked and pushed open. It was a heavy door, I could tell by the clunking noise it made when it closed behind us.

Dominic’s hand massaged my neck a little and then he entwined his fingers in my hair before untying the blindfold. I blinked rapidly as my eyes adjusted to my surroundings. We were in a large room with plush sofas and ambient lighting. The floor was covered in a plush black carpet and there was a bar to one side of the vast room.

“Welcome to the Altar.” He said.

We moved to a sofa and he gestured for me to sit.

He wound the blindfold up tightly and put it in his back pocket.

A young man placed two glasses of iced water on the table in front of us and bowed his head before stepping away from us.

“Why have you brought me here Dominic?” I asked.

“Why did you come with me?”

“Don’t answer a question with a question. It’s terribly bad mannered.” I was mocking him and he knew it.

“I will let that slide for now Elise, but know this.” He took my hand in his and pressed his lips against my knuckles. “I will not tolerate insolence from you.”

He smiled. He actually smiled. The bastard spoke to me as if I was a child and thought it was amusing.

I stood up. I was about to tell him that he could fuck right off. That I wasn’t going to be spoken to in that way. He spoke without looking up at me.

“Sit down Elise. You and I both know that you are not leaving here until you have found what you are missing in your life.”

I sat down instantly.

“Now.” He said as he turned towards me. “Your question requires an answer.” He picked up his water and sipped at it. “I brought you here because you need something. You need something that I can give you.”

I stared at him as he spoke. My mind was whirring with the whole scenario. What the fuck was going on?

“I saw it in you this morning. I felt your reaction to my touch. I sensed the way you will succumb to your desires if you are only given the chance.” He sipped his water again. He leaned closer to me and whispered. “And besides...I want you and just in case it escaped your attention I always get what I want.”

I gasped. I actually gasped out loud. I looked into those icy blue eyes and saw nothing. No emotion. No feelings. Nothing. So how on earth could he be doing to me what he was doing right now?

“I can imagine.” I told him. My voice was shaky. “But I am married. I’m not looking for anything else.”

He stood up and looked down at me.

“Everyone is looking for something else.” He gestured for me to stand as he continued. “Elise. I can show you how to open your body and your mind. I can take you to places you never even imagined could exist. I can do all of this without you being unfaithful to your husband. But you have to trust me. More than you trust yourself.”

I stood too and held my hand out to him.

“Show me...please.” I said.