Always and Forever (74 page)

“What took you so long?” I snap.

“I got here as soon as I could…”

“Where’s the girl?” I demand, my eyes roaming through the
busy crowd around us.  I don’t know who I’m searching for, I have no idea
what she looks like; I’ve never even seen a single photo of her.

“Arthur, what happened to your face?” She gasps, taking a
step closer towards me.

I thought my bruises were looking a little better but
obviously they don’t.  She hasn’t seen me since it happened and is clearly
horrified by my injuries. I’ve stayed at home for the past week, only leaving
the house for the funeral when I thought Bethany might be there.

“I’m fine, stop fussing!” I shout, batting away the hand
which was reaching for face.

“Who did this to you?” She asks, ignoring the warning I
gave her.

“I told you to drop it! Where is she, Tammy? She better be
on her way.”

“Calm down, she’s on her way. You have to understand her
hesitancy, Arthur. She was extremely reluctant to come here today and meet you.
It took a lot of persuasion on my part to convince her to come.”

I murmur a response; I really don’t care about her
daughter’s trepidation. I would have never agreed to this if I had any other
choice.

“Shall we go in and sit down?” She offers, motioning
towards the coffee shop.

 I nod my head towards the small sofa by the window
and leave Tammy to go and order the drinks. There’s a small table and an
armchair opposite the sofa and I sigh as I take my seat, this is the last place
on earth I want to be right now. I suppose I should be thankful that this
meeting is taking place now. It could have taken me months to convince Tammy to
arrange this and time is something I don’t have a lot of. I need to set the
wheels in motion if I want my plan to work.

I glance over at the door every time it opens, waiting for
a twenty-two year old girl to come in by herself. I grab a newspaper which was
left on the table and take a look through it, unable to focus on anything
except Bethany. I can feel her photo burning a hole right through my pocket and
it takes all of my strength and willpower to keep myself from looking at it.

The sound of someone clearing their throat forces me to
look up and I finally come face to face with the daughter I’ve never known. I
don’t bother to stand up, there’s no need for me to greet her and I want her to
know from the start that she means nothing to me. I could walk past this girl
on the street and I would never have known she was my daughter. The only
similarity we share is our piercing blue eyes and that’s the only thing we have
in common.

“So, this is awkward.” She speaks with confidence as she
takes the seat opposite.

I’m already trying to read her character, I want to find
out what her motive is for meeting me today and what it will take for me to
convince her to do exactly what I want. She stares back at me, refusing to
break eye contact and I can already see how fearless and bold she is. She’s the
type of girl who won’t step away from a challenge and that’s another thing I
admire. It’s hard to explain but there’s something about her mannerisms and
cold facial expressions that makes me believe she’s the perfect type of girl
for what I want her to do.

“Your mum is already in the queue; I don’t know if she
knows what you want to drink?” I tell her, deciding to play nice until I get to
know what motivates this girl.

“I’m good, I don’t want anything.” She replies coolly.

“How did you know who I was when you walked in?” I ask,
remembering how she came straight over towards me.

“Mum showed me a picture of you when she told me the truth,
when she told me you were my father.” She narrows her eyes at me, glaring
angrily.

I try to hide my disgust when she called me her father. I
hope she realised I have no interest in becoming her parent. I’m here for one
reason and one reason only. Bethany.

“Well, I appreciate you coming here today; you must be
wondering why I asked to meet you after all of this time…” I pause when I
realise I don’t even know her name; I raise my eyebrows at her, waiting for her
to offer it to me.

“My name is Sarah.” She says bitterly, fixing those spiteful
eyes on my own.

“I’m sorry, I should have known that.” I lie, knowing she
expected me to apologise.

“What’s this all about anyway? What do you want from me?”

Her penetrating eyes burn a hole right through me, she has
long blonde hair and looks absolutely nothing like Bethany. As I continue to
observe her I start to notice the arrogance and conceit that surrounds her
permeates her whole demeanour. She’s absolutely perfect for what I have in
mind, she’s beautiful and that’s also a bonus.

“I’m glad you’ve got straight to the point. The fact of the
matter is I haven’t been a part of your life for twenty-two years and I really
don’t see why anything should change between us now. You don’t know me and I
don’t expect you want to after all this time.”

“Go on.” She encourages me to continue.

“I don’t know if your mum told you this or not but I have a
daughter. She’s a couple of years younger than you and she’s just left home.
She’s abandoned her whole life and forgotten about the people who love her so
she could run away with some boy. I want her back; I want her back with me
where she belongs.”

“That’s a fascinating story, it really is. The only
problem… I really don’t care.”

She smiles at me sweetly and I can’t help but laugh, she
reminds me of a younger version of myself. She’s still just a baby but there’s
already so much malice and contempt for the feelings of others. She’s
definitely my daughter.

“Believe me, what I have to offer you will be worth your
while.”

“Go on then, spit it out. Don’t keep me in suspense.”

“The boy she’s with is no good; I want him out of her life.
I want to ruin him like he ruined me. He doesn’t know it yet but I’m going to
destroy him.”

“He’s the one who did that to you then?” She doesn’t even
try to conceal her smirk, motioning towards the bruises on my face and my
broken nose.

“He did and he’s going to pay for it.” I say decidedly,
swallowing down the hatred I feel for the piece of shit who stole my daughter
from me.

“I still don’t get what any of this has to do with me.” She
says, inspecting her fingernails in boredom.

“I want you to be the one who comes between them.” I tell
her.

Her mouth falls open in surprise, she certainly wasn’t
expecting that.

“Why the hell would I do that? I don’t care about this girl
or the guy who’s screwing her. She has nothing to do with me. Why don’t you go
and find some other mug to do your dirty work for you?”

She starts to rise from her seat but I stop her by grabbing
hold of her wrist firmly. She tries to yank her arm from my grasp but I hold
on, determined I’ll make her do as I say.

“You’re telling me you’re willing to turn down an awful lot
of money just so you don’t have to involve yourself with a stranger and her
boyfriend?”

She pauses, the mention of money finally capturing her
attention.

 “How much money are we talking?” She asks, slowly
sitting back down in her seat.

“As much as it will take, I don’t care what it costs me.
All I need you to do is come between them. He’s young and what you might call
handsome; his commitment to Bethany won’t last for long, not if you enter the
picture. You’re a beautiful young woman; any man would find it difficult to
turn you down. He’s bound to cheat on her eventually, no matter how honourable
his intentions are”

“Did you say her name was Bethany?” She asks, her face
turning pale, she’s as white as a sheet.

“That’s right.” I say, glancing over towards the counter
where Tammy is next in line.

 I need this conversation to be over with by the time
she gets back. I know she won’t approve of with me using her daughter like
this; she might even try and put a stop to it altogether.

“What does she look like?” She trembles, wringing her hands
together.

“I’ve got a photo.”

 I reach in my back pocket for the scrunched up
picture. I can’t help being curious, wondering why she’s interested all of a
sudden. My scheme meant something to her as soon as I mentioned Bethany’s name.
She snatches the three year old photograph from me and I frown at her, trying
to figure out what the connection between them might be.

“It’s her.” She murmurs quietly, her eyes still fixed on
the photo.

“I’m sorry? Do you know my daughter?”

“Forget I said anything.”

“Look, all I’m really bothered about is if you’re prepared
to do this, are you interested or not?” I say impatiently.

“Oh, I’ll do it. I’d do this for nothing; you wouldn’t even
have to pay me.”

“What changed your mind?” I asked, taking the photo from
her and placing it safely in my wallet.

“Let’s just say the guy who’s with your daughter used to be
mine.”

I laugh softly, this is just too perfect. I couldn’t have
scripted this any better.

“Now that’s something I didn’t know.”

 “He was going to be the father of my baby.”

“You’re not pregnant?”

“No, I miscarried and that’s the only reason we’re not
together right now. That little bitch stole him from me and I swore I’d make
her pay for it. I want him back; I won’t rest until we’re together again.”

“Well, he certainly hasn’t learned his lesson; he’s got
Bethany pregnant now.”

I clench my teeth in anger; just thinking about him
touching her consumes me with rage.

“She’s pregnant?” She whispers, looking faint and utterly
devastated. Her hand covers her mouth and her eyes fill with unshed tears.

“Look, forget the hysterics. I need to know if you’re still
willing to do this. We can sort out the formalities later; all I want from you
today is a yes or no answer.”

I shouldn’t have mentioned anything about the pregnancy;
she looks like she’s going to pass out now any minute now that I’ve told her
about the fetus.

“Yes.” She whispers despondently, a shadow of the girl I
first encountered when she came in.

“Good.” I smile at her, knowing this little arrangement
between us could turn out to be more successful than I anticipated.  Not
only does she have a history with the boy, she’s clearly still hopelessly in
love with him. I can already predict the damage I’ll cause by propelling her
into the midst of their relationship. I know it will bring heartache and misery
into my young daughter’s life. Misery that I plan to control every step of the
way…

Bethany

I was absolutely terrified when Jake left me to go in
search of my father that night. I’d already witnessed first hand what Jake’s temper
could be like and I wasn’t sure if he’d be able to find the strength and
determination to walk away from the man who had hurt me for so long. I then had
to contend with the phone call Jake made to Carla, insisting that she take me
to the hospital so I could get checked over. I didn’t really see the point in
going; I told him I was fine. I could feel that I was going to get a rather
large bruise on my cheekbone but besides that, I knew I was ok.

After getting off the phone with Jake, Carla convinced me
that going to the hospital was the right thing to do and she phoned a taxi for
us. I don’t remember much of the journey; I was in such a daze and still in
shock over everything that had happened. I think Carla tried to engage me in
some sort of conversation but I just couldn’t focus on what she was saying, I
felt like I was in a dream and no matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t wake
up from it.

My mind kept on racing with thoughts of Jake being arrested,
of the police handcuffing him and putting him in the back of a police car. I
imagined going to visit him in prison and how impossible things would be for me
if I were to end up all alone and pregnant. I chastised myself for letting him
go, wondering if he would be able to control his rage without me there to calm
him down. Jake is so protective over the people he cares for and he’s made it
clear on plenty of occasions that he cares for no one like he does me.

I was seen by a doctor fairly quickly once we arrived at
the hospital. I explained that I was around six weeks pregnant and that I
wanted to make sure the baby was ok after what had happened to me. When the
nurses tried to extract some more information from me with regards to my
bruises and my swollen face, I told them the truth. I knew I didn’t want to
press charges; I didn’t want to go over and over it again with the police and
then risk it going to court. All I wanted to do was put the whole thing behind
me and forget about the monster I left behind. The professionals at the
hospital seemed reluctant to let it go but eventually had to accept my decision
when they knew I wasn’t going to tell them anything more about it.

I was given an ice pack for my face and was then hurried in
for my first scan. They placed the cool gel over my stomach and then showed me
the tiny little thing on the monitor. It was so tiny; it looked like a little
peanut. I couldn’t hear its heart beating because it’s still too early in the
pregnancy but I got to see it flickering on the screen. It was so tiny and so
fragile, the idea that my father could have caused this tiny, precious and
beautiful little baby any harm made my blood boil.

Once they assured me that the baby was absolutely fine, I
was free to go home and we were on our way back in another taxi when Jake
phoned Carla to find out how we got on at the hospital. I listened in on their
conversation, delighting in the comfort his voice brought me even down the end
of the phone. The relief I felt knowing I would see him soon was immense, I
needed to feel his arms around and I wanted to feel safe.

I remember the Artful Dodger’s ‘Twentyfourseven’ was
playing on the radio; it’s a really old R&B song that I used to love when I
was younger and it brought back a ton of memories for me, memories from my
childhood, my home and even gran. I couldn’t prise my eyes away from the
window, watching the night-time traffic whiz by us. It was the first night I’d
spent away from home and I was so scared. I had no idea what the future would
hold, I still didn’t know what I was going to do about the baby and then there
was the news of gran’s death to deal with… how was I going to live without her?
How would I cope and how had it happened? The agonising part was I knew I’d
probably never get to find out the answer to my question.

The radio switched to ‘Once Around The Block’ by Badly
Drawn Boy and I smiled, remembering the old music video I used to watch on TV.
It involves a young couple who accidentally get stuck together because of their
braces when they kiss. I used to find it hilarious and I hadn’t heard the song
being played in years. Listening to it in the taxi that night brought with it
so much nostalgia and familiarity, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I
felt like I was nearing the end of something whilst being at the start of
something new. My emotions were all over the place, all jumbled up and complex.
I just needed someone to make sense of everything for me.

Jake was already outside his house and waiting for us when
our taxi pulled up. He flung the door open, practically dragging me out of the
vehicle and into his arms. He showered me with kisses, squeezing me so tight.

“Are you ok?” He asked me, his voice was unsteady and I
could still see the fear in his eyes.

“I’m fine and so is the baby.” I replied, smiling weakly.

He pulled me against him, pressing his lips against my
forehead.

“Thank God you’re both ok. That’s all that matters.” He
pulled me against him, pressing his lips against my forehead. His affection
quickly transformed into anger when he accidentally brushed his finger over the
swelling on my face.

“It’s ok, Jake. It looks worse than it is.” I said, turning
my face away from him.

“It’s not fucking ok. It looks really painful, are you
sure
you’re alright? Didn’t the hospital give you anything for the pain?” He
continued to fire questions at me, gently stroking his thumb over the angry
bruise on my cheek. His touch was so soft it felt like a feather was against my
skin.

“It hurts but I really am ok. The nurses at the hospital
gave me an ice pack for the swelling.”

“Well it obviously didn’t work!” Jake yelled bitterly.

By this time Carla had already paid the taxi driver and was
starting to make her way inside. I grabbed hold her hand as she walked by us,
knowing I had to say something to her.

“Carla, thank you. Thank you for everything.” I told her
sincerely.

“It’s no problem, Bethany. I’m here for the both of you,
anytime you need me.” She squeezed my hand before going on inside.

“Thanks, Sis.” Jake said before she closed the front door
behind her to give us some privacy.

“I saw the baby, Jake. I saw its little heartbeat and it
was incredible.”

“You saw the heartbeat already? Sweetheart, that’s amazing.
I just wish I could have been there to see it. What did it look like?”

“Like a peanut.” I said truthfully.

“A peanut?” Jake laughed, showing me his magnificent smile.

“It did!” I exclaimed.

“Well, I am so glad my girl and peanut are safe.” Jake
chuckled.

“I still can’t believe I’m here, I can’t believe we’re
finally together.” I confessed.

“Believe it, baby. This is your home now and I swear to you
I will never let him hurt you ever again. You’re safe; I’m always going to
protect you from now on.”

 I let Jake comfort me
that night; we were both exhausted and fell straight into bed and slept for
twelve hours straight. I ignored every one of my instincts which still wanted
to know what had gone on between my father and Jake. I could tell by the state
of his knuckles that a great deal of violence had been involved but didn’t want
to think about it. I desperately tried to control the voice in my head which
told me this was far from over. My father would have his revenge, one day he
would come for me and there’s nothing I could do about it.

We only stayed at Jake’s house for a couple of days. He
promised me we wouldn’t be there for long and it turned out he was right. I
must have experienced every single type of emotion during those first few days,
I was going out of my mind worrying about mum and I was desperate to speak to
her. The grief I felt over gran’s death was unbearable, it consumed me and I
know without Jake’s constant love and support I wouldn’t have been able to get
through it. There were some nights I’d just sob, my sadness was overwhelming
and all I could do was cling to Jake as he rocked me back and forth, whispering
soothing words into my ear as he wiped away my tears. He was absolutely perfect
and refused to leave my side.

I realised I had to know the truth, I needed to find out
what had really happened to her. After a lot of debating and heated
discussions, Jake finally gave in and decided to take me back to gran’s house.
It was extremely difficult for me to go back there and there were plenty of
times when I nearly turned back. Her house looked so lonely and desolate; it
made my heart ache to know she would never be returning to it.

I had no other choice but to speak to gran’s interfering
neighbour, Mary. She was the one who had told my father about me and Jake
meeting up at gran’s house, I amit that I was a little angry about it at first
but I couldn’t really hold her responsible for what had happened. She turned
out to be quite helpful; she gave me the phone number of the old school friend
gran had gone to stay with and just knew I had to phone her. I
had
to
know the truth and she was the only person who could give it to me.

Majorie was really sympathetic and kind when I phoned her.
She told me that gran used to talk about me all the time and she told me how
proud she was of me. She said that gran was so relieved I was happy; her whole
face would light up every time she spoke about me. I found out she had died in
her sleep, she’d had a heart attack and I could only hope it had been painless
for her. Marjorie told me she had a letter for me from gran but had decided not
to send it to my old address because she knew all about my father and what he
was like. I asked her if she would be kind enough to post it to me now and she
agreed. I found it a great comfort to know a small piece of gran was on its way
to me. I was so thankful my father would never get his hands on that letter; I
just know he would have kept it from me just like he kept hold of all the
letters from Callum.

Marjorie told me when the funeral was going to be, she couldn’t
make it herself because of the distance and it tore me apart to know I wouldn’t
be able to go either. I knew my father would be there waiting for me to turn up
and I just couldn’t risk it. Besides, I’d already said goodbye to gran in my
own way, I didn’t feel it necessary to go to the funeral. I hoped my mum would
understand why I couldn’t go and I tried to take comfort from the fact that
gran had still been alive to see me happy.

I still think about my mum every single day, I hope she’s
ok and understands why I had to leave. Jake told me he gave her the option to
leave with him but she said couldn’t leave him, she chose to stay and I have to
accept her decision just like I hope she accepts mine. I know I have to find my
own way and start my own life away from mum. I hope to see her again one day,
I’d like to be able to explain things to her and I don’t think I’ll ever be
able to give up on that.

Jake kept his promise and quickly found us a place to live.
He acquired the newly furbished flat above the bar where he works, persuading
his boss to lease it to him for a large sum of money and in agreed to upgrade
his position behind the bar to bar manager. At first I was really sceptical
about having to live above a bar but when I thought of the alternative which
included living with his rude mum and three sisters for the foreseeable future,
I quickly changed my mind. Carla was really sweet and made me feel welcome but
Jake’s other two sisters were a little distant and I heard them say a few
bitchy things about me when they thought I couldn’t hear them. I inadvertently
mentioned it to Jake one day, I was a little tearful about it and he was
absolutely furious. He made the two of them apologise to me and promise not to
pass judgement again. I was mortified and felt like the atmosphere in the house
was turning frosty because of my presence.

I was pleasantly surprised when Jake first took me to see
the flat. The previous tenants had made a mess of it so Ritchie had decided to
completely renovate the place before finding someone new to occupy it. The flat
was quite cosy, it only had the one bedroom but I couldn’t help finding it
quaint and homey. Jake insisted that Ritchie set it up with new furniture for
us before we moved in and I was really surprised when he agreed. The one thing
I wanted to buy ourselves was a brand new bed; it was the first thing we bought
together before we moved in.

“Now all we have to do is christen it.” Jake had whispered,
nuzzling my neck whilst we were still in the furniture store after picking it
out.

“Haven’t you had enough of me? We had sex twice this
morning and twice last night…” I trailed off, moaning quietly at the feel of
his lips against my neck.

“I will never get enough of you; you always leave me
wanting more.” He growled in my ear.