Always in My Heart (12 page)

“Listen,” Callie began. “I know things are…tense between us…and I also know that it’s my fault. But I hope there’s a way that you and I can work things out.”

Nigel’s head turned toward hers, the look of shock on his face palpable. “Pardon me?”

“That’s not what I meant,” Callie quickly said, realizing how her words had been construed. “We have a son, and here we are spending time together, but you barely want to look at me. You kissed me last night, and then you took off. Clearly, there’s a lot of unresolved anger, and I totally get it. But what I really want is for us to get past that. For Kwame’s sake, if not our own.”

“How about telling me what’s really going on with you?”

That wasn’t what Callie had expected to hear. “What do you mean?”

“You think I don’t remember you?” Nigel asked, his voice now an octave lower. “Remember how you looked when you were stressed? And as much as this situation is, as you say, tense, I get the feeling something else is going on with you.”

Was he really that intuitive? She remembered how he had been able to easily gauge her moods in the past, but that had been a long time ago.

“So?” Nigel prompted.

“I learned something,” she found herself saying. “About my mother.”

Nigel’s eyebrows rose. “You know what happened to her?”

Callie shook her head. “No. But I learned that she was apparently in some kind of trouble. My aunt left a letter for me and my sisters. She said that my mother left us with her because she wanted to protect us. That was all.”

Nigel frowned. “She had no idea what the trouble was?”

“No. Not really. But she suspected it had to do with an ex-boyfriend, perhaps. Or something involving the law.” Callie shrugged. “She also said that my mother was ashamed to come back into our lives. Something about her having not made the best choices before.”

“Hmm.” Nigel was no longer looking at her, but at the road. Callie couldn’t help wondering if he was thinking about the choice
she
had made.

“And what else?” Nigel asked. “Because that story about your head and arm? You said it was a fender bender, but it was more serious than that. And Kwame said something about you being followed by someone on the road?”

Callie swallowed. Kwame had told him that?

“You can talk to me, Callie. We might not be in a relationship anymore, but you can still tell me anything.”

Hearing Nigel say that, Callie felt a wave of emotion. He could so easily not care about her personal dilemmas, but he was being the same caring man she had known him to be.

“You’re right. There is something else.” She closed her eyes a moment before continuing. “It has to do with a friend of mine. A friend whose husband has been acting like a royal jerk. He’s abusive, and there are criminal charges against him, but Patrick was out on bail. Which is insane, if you ask me. You let a ticking time bomb out of jail? Well, he was angry because I helped my friend leave him. So angry that he came after me.”

“Are you telling me he deliberately ran you off the road?” Nigel asked, suddenly sounding more serious.

“I don’t know if that was Patrick’s intention, but yes, I noticed him following me. I tried to avoid him, but I couldn’t. He wouldn’t get off my tail. And the next thing I knew, he was bumping into my car and I was veering off the road.”

“You could have been killed,” Nigel said, his jaw clenched.

Callie nodded. Though she didn’t want to accept that grim fact, she knew that it was true. “I’m grateful Kwame wasn’t hurt.”

“But you were.”

“I’ll survive.”

A beat passed. “So this guy’s bond was revoked, right? He’s behind bars.”

“Actually, no.”

“What?”

“He’s alluded the law. And yes, I’m worried about it. He’s really angry that my friend left him. Unstable. Given how irrational he is, I was kind of figuring that until he’s caught, I should stay in Cleveland.”

Nigel was silent a moment. Then he said, “Tell me something. If not for this Patrick guy being on the lamb, would you even be here? Or would you have returned home already?”

“I…I don’t know,” Callie answered honestly.

Nigel’s jaw tightened. “I see.”

“I’m not saying I wouldn’t have told you about Kwame. That I wouldn’t stick around longer for you to spend time with him. It’s just…naturally, until the police apprehend Patrick, how can I really feel safe?”

Alicia Keys’s “Fallin’” began to play on the radio, and Callie’s breath oozed out of her. Slowly, she looked at Nigel. He was staring at her, the same shock she was feeling evident on his face.

This had been their song ten years ago.

Suddenly, Callie was remembering the amount of times she and Nigel had gotten naked to this song and made sweet love. And she couldn’t help wondering if Nigel was thinking the same thing, too.

He looked away, breaking their eye contact, and turned the radio off. Then he said, “Ironic, isn’t it?”

“What’s ironic?” Callie asked, a mix of emotions swirling through her. Alicia Keys’s smooth voice may not have been filling the car anymore, but Callie had already been transported back in time.

“Once, you hated cops,” Nigel said. “Hated them so much you broke up with me when I decided to join the force. Now, in order for your life to get back on track, you need the police.”

“I’m ten years older, Nigel. You don’t have to rub in my face how immature I once was. You asked me what was going on, so I told you. But forget I said anything.”

“It’s so simple for you, isn’t it? You left me, you lied to me, but hey, you were immature. That makes it all okay.”

“That’s not what I said.”

“What I want to know is when you matured. Two years after you left me? Five years?”

Callie was surprised to see Nigel turning into his driveway. She hadn’t even noticed that they’d entered his neighborhood. “What’s your point?”

Nigel turned off the car. “Ten years?”

“What’s your point?” Callie repeated.

“If you
matured
years ago, why wouldn’t you tell me about Kwame then?”

“Fine. I’m still immature. Still a hot mess. Okay?” There was no point explaining anything to Nigel. It was clear that not only would he never forgive her, he would use every opportunity to tell her how wrong she’d been.

She opened the car door and jumped out. She didn’t need this. The rain immediately drenched her, but that didn’t stop her from heading in the direction of the road that didn’t lead to Nigel’s front door.

“Callie, where are you going?” Nigel called.

She didn’t answer, just started to run on the sidewalk.

“Callie.”

Callie picked up speed, not caring that the rain was coming down in sheets. She could hardly see and the heavy drops were splashing her face. But she didn’t stop.

“Callie!” Nigel called, more urgent this time.

But she didn’t stop.

Was he going to be mad at her forever? She understood that she’d made a mistake, but was he so perfect? He was acting as though he’d never done anything wrong in his life.

When he’d accused her of sleeping with Jeremiah, Callie had been crushed.

It wasn’t that she hadn’t matured over the years. But she’d been in too deep.

Tears fell, mixing with the rain. This was too hard. It hurt too much to be around Nigel knowing that he would be forever angry at her. She wished she could just put armor around her heart and not feel any pain. But the disapproval from a man she had once loved so wholeheartedly was hard to bear.

“Callie!” He was closer.

She kept going, wanting to put as much distance between them as possible, aware that she was accomplishing nothing, except getting soaked. But his disappointment, on the heels of her feeling that they’d made some headway, was especially hurtful.

And that damn Alicia Keys song. Callie had so badly wanted him to take her in his arms… .

She gasped when she felt the strong hand wrap around her upper arm. A moment later, she was being whirled around.

“What are you doing?” Nigel asked. The rain pounded his skin.

“You hate me. I get it.”

“Hate you?” Nigel’s eyes bulged, as if the mere suggestion was the most ludicrous thing on the earth.

“Yes, hate me. I know I hurt you, and if I could take it back, I would.” Her voice cracked. “I—I would.”

“Damn it, woman,” Nigel uttered. “I don’t hate you.”

And then he pulled her against his chest.

And right there in the rain, he brought his mouth down on hers.

Hard.

Chapter 12

C
allie’s first reaction was utter disbelief. She couldn’t believe what was happening.

But it took only a few seconds for the reality of the situation to register in her brain.

Nigel Williams was kissing her.

And not the same kind of kiss like last night, one designed to make it clear what she’d left behind. But one that was full of heat and need.

Callie felt his chest rumble against her body, and good Lord, what an erotic charge! Despite the coolness of the rain, heat spread through her body.

And no longer was she questioning why Nigel was kissing her, but rather allowing herself to feel. Feel what she had not experienced in ten years.

Emotion came bubbling forward in a way that startled her. Intense desire mixed with warmth and affection. Certainly she shouldn’t still feel something for Nigel.

But as his lips moved over hers, she knew otherwise.

With a gasp, she opened her mouth wider for him. And as her good hand snaked around Nigel’s strong back, she forgot all about the fact that they were still standing in the rain. Two people furiously kissing each other as the rain poured down.

It was a thunderous boom that had both of them springing apart, though the boom could have easily come from inside Callie—that’s how stimulated she was right now. She was hot and bothered and remembering just how good she and Nigel had been together.

Her chest heaved with ragged breaths as she stared up at him. He gazed down at her. For a long moment, even though the rain seemed to be coming down harder, neither moved. Neither said a word.

Nigel was the one to break the silence. “I don’t hate you.”

Callie said nothing. She was still reeling from the kiss.

Nigel put his arm around her shoulder, pulled her close. He began to walk with her. “Come on. Let’s get inside the house.”

Once they were in the foyer, and Callie realized just how completely soaked to the bone she was, she felt stupid. Until Nigel turned to her and touched the hem of her shirt, saying, “We need to get you out of these clothes.”

And just like that, her body was buzzing. She knew he was right—clearly she would need to take off her wet clothes. But hearing him speak the idea of undressing her…well, it turned her on.

Nigel took her hand. “Come this way.”

He led her across the mahogany floors, which Callie knew he had painstakingly refinished himself. She hoped they wouldn’t be ruined.

But she stopped thinking about the floors the moment she entered the laundry room and saw Nigel pull his wet T-shirt over his head. He plopped it into the laundry sink.

And the sight of that hard body of his, all perfect muscles except for that scar…Callie lost her breath.

“Put your clothes in the sink,” Nigel said. “I’ll wash them, put them in the dryer.”

Nodding, Callie began to try to maneuver out of her sling, but it was harder than normal. Either because she was wet, or because she was nervous.

And then Nigel slipped out of his jeans, and Callie gulped when she saw him in his boxers, which were clinging to his body. Goodness, she had thought he was fine years ago, but his body was even more magnificent now. His legs were thicker, stronger. He had morphed into a fully-fledged man.

“Let me help you,” Nigel said, and approached her.

Then, gingerly, he helped undo the sling and guide her arm out. Callie didn’t speak as he then began to pull the wet shirt over her body. He tossed it into the sink.

“How does your arm feel?” he asked.

Callie was feeling no pain. None at all. “It’s fine.”

“Your jeans will be difficult to get off. I’ll do it.”

And when he undid the button, Callie’s center began to pulse wildly. Nigel was taking her clothes off… .

His strong hands moved down her thighs as he helped her out of her jeans, and Callie thought she would die from the lust coursing through her body.

As he pulled the second jean leg off of her body, he looked up at her. Met her gaze.

Callie swallowed. She was wearing only her underwear and bra, and wanted nothing more than for Nigel to touch and kiss every inch of her body.

He didn’t move. And she just knew that he was thinking the same thing she was…that they should shed the rest of their clothes and get on with it.

“It wasn’t easy for me,” Callie said, not sure why she felt compelled to say that at this of all moments. “Leaving. I just want you to know that.”

And then Nigel ran both of his palms up the back of her legs, setting her skin on fire. “Did you miss this?” he asked, his voice low, deep. “Did you miss me touching you like this?”

Callie drew in a shuddery breath. “Yes. Oh, yes.”

Nigel pressed his lips to her belly, and tentacles of pleasure exploded all through Callie’s body. Slowly rising, he kissed a path up her torso, through the valley between her breasts, stopping when he got to the underside of her neck.

“How could you do it?” he asked.

Surprised at the question, Callie looked at him. His eyes were heated, his breathing ragged. All she could say was, “I’m sorry, Nigel.”

“What exactly are you sorry for?” Nigel asked, a challenge in his voice.

“I’m sorry that I was immature.”
Please don’t stop touching me now
…
.
“I’m sorry that I left you and never told you I was pregnant.”

“And that’s all?”

“Isn’t that enough?”

Nigel slipped his hands into her hair and lowered his face close to hers. “No. No, it’s not enough. I don’t want to hear that you’re sorry because you left, simply because you think you didn’t do right by me in terms of keeping our son a secret. I want to hear that you regret what you did because you destroyed
us.
Because we had something good, Callie. We had something good and you threw it away.”

Callie’s heart stopped. She saw the fury in Nigel’s eyes, but in his touch she felt passion. Because the way he was tipping her head backward, forcing her mouth to angle upward to his, made it clear he wanted to kiss her again.

Her lips parted as he continued to stare at her, and she thought about what she had not allowed herself to think about for ten years. That yes, she had thrown away the best thing that would ever come into her life by leaving Nigel.

“You think I don’t remember just how good we were together?” she asked, her chest shuddering. “You think I forgot everything?”

* * *

Nigel stared down at Callie. At her parted lips and the desire pooling in her eyes. She hadn’t exactly answered his question, but it was enough. It was enough because the hormones raging through Nigel’s body were overpowering him. He couldn’t stand being this close to her and not acting on what he was feeling. So he snaked one arm around her waist and pulled her moist body against his. And then, God help him, he couldn’t hold back any longer.

He brought his mouth down on hers, needing to feel her surrender to him once more. She moaned immediately, a soft and sweet sound, and then she opened her mouth for him, as though there was nothing in the world she wanted to do more than this.

And there was nothing more Nigel wanted. Oh, he’d told himself that he
didn’t
want her, that he despised her even, but it was all a lie. Because the only thing that mattered to him was holding Callie in his arms.

It was the only thing that had ever mattered.

“I missed this.” Nigel’s mouth moved from her lips to the underside of her jaw, and he was rewarded when she dug her fingers into his shoulders and trembled against him. “And I can tell that you missed it, too.”

“Yes,” Callie rasped. “No one has compared to you… . No one… .”

She may as well have told him to give it to her right here in the laundry room, that’s how powerful a reaction he had to her words.

But those same words made him think of something else. There were ten years between them, and God only knew how many other boyfriends. Nigel hated the very knowledge that another man had ever touched her this way.

He drew her earlobe between his teeth, and tightened his arms around her as she moaned. He didn’t want to think about anyone else, anything else, but them.

But he did want to set her mind at ease, in case she had any doubts. “So you know,” he whispered in her ear, “what you said to Kwame, it isn’t true. I don’t have a girlfriend. I’ve been single for a good year and a half.”

Callie looked up at him from heavy-lidded eyes. And despite her obvious lust, she grinned. “That’s when I broke up with my last boyfriend. A year and a half ago.”

“Good. Because that means there’s no reason for us not to continue…” He twirled his tongue beneath her earlobe. “…this.” Not that it would matter if Callie told him she was dating someone else, because the way she was mewling and responding to his every touch, Nigel saw her the same as he did ten years ago.

As his.

Surely an experience as explosive as what they had shared together, as meaningful, couldn’t so easily be shared with someone else with the same intensity.

Callie stroked his face, and Nigel’s mouth went back to hers. He kissed her deeply, and Callie reciprocated with fervor. Her tongue tangled with his, and he tugged gently on her hair while his other hand covered her bra. He pushed the wet fabric out of the way and stroked her nipple with his fingers, and groaned with pleasure when it hardened against his hand.

“Yes, Callie. I know exactly what this is doing to you. Because I never forgot. All these years, I never forgot.”

Callie arched her back, but Nigel drew her face to his and ravaged her mouth. Callie dragged her fingernails down the skin of his back, then broke the kiss and stared at him, a grin tugging at the corner of her mouth.

“So you remember, too,” he said.

“How could I forget?”

And then Callie moved forward, slipping her hands beneath the waist of his boxers. She tugged at them, then said, “Ouch.”

Nigel looked at her in concern. “Your arm?”

“I’m okay. I just need to take it easier.”

“You’re sure?”

She placed her uninjured hand over his throbbing erection. “I’m sure.”

Nigel scooped her into his arms. He kissed her as he carried her to his bedroom. Once there, he set her on her feet and then moved his mouth to her earlobe again and felt a rush of excitement when she quivered.

Then his hands went to her bra. He fought with the wet, uncooperative material as if it were his enemy, needing to get it off of her body in a hurry. And when she was topless, he kissed her again—a soft, deep kiss that was all about emotion.

“Make love to me,” Callie pleaded.

Nigel needed no further encouragement. He slipped his boxers off and kicked them aside. Then he went to Callie and dragged her underwear over her hips.

His eyes drank in the beautiful sight of her nakedness, a body that was more curvy than before. Breasts that were larger.

Somehow, she was even sexier than she had been years ago. And his desire for her was greater than he had ever known.

Taking her hand, he led her to the bed. He sat, then urged her onto him. She put her legs on either side of him, and Nigel growled with pleasure.

Her breasts were eye level to his face, and he drew one nipple into his mouth. The skin puckered and hardened as his tongue twirled over it, and Callie moaned.

“Yes, baby,” Nigel said, and moved his mouth to her other breast. With his fingers, he played with her other nipple, and took pleasure in the sounds of her deep sighs.

Reaching for her head, he drew her face to his and kissed her. Kissed her as he eased onto his back. And as their tongues mated, Nigel guided his erection into her sweet, soft place.

Callie gasped. “Nigel…”

“Yes, baby.” He placed his hands on her hips, guiding her against him to match his movements. She held her injured arm close to her body, but her other arm was already moving upward, her fingers sliding through her wet hair. Her eyes were closed, the expression of erotic bliss heightening his own desire.

He picked up speed, and Callie did as well, her sounds of rapture growing louder.

“Yes,” Nigel said, as they found their old rhythm. She was a vision of loveliness. “Oh, Callie…”

She opened her eyes. Looked down at him. He covered both of her nipples as he thrust upward and deep inside of her.

Callie cried out in pleasure. “Nigel, I’m already close.”

“Kiss me.”

She dropped her body downward onto his, her mouth finding his. His tongue tangling with hers, he thrust deeper. She sighed into his mouth, and Nigel wrapped both of his arms around her waist and didn’t relent in his kissing as his speed of lovemaking went into overdrive. And soon, Callie was tearing her mouth from his and crying out in pleasure as her body quivered against him.

“Oh, Nigel. Oh, baby!”

As she succumbed to her release, Nigel gave in to his orgasm.

And was all too aware that he’d just given Callie back a piece of his heart.