Always in My Heart (15 page)

Callie hadn’t thought that he would be consumed with worry, and she hadn’t meant to make him feel that way. Had her mother also not realized how her daughters would feel, always wondering what had happened to her?

“I guess I always thought that no matter what happened between us, you wouldn’t totally cut yourself off from me.”

There were no words. Callie had left because she had needed a clean break for her sanity. It had been the only way she could leave Nigel, have his child and emotionally survive.

“I know you didn’t have to look into my mother’s case, so thank you,” she said. And then, as if of its own will, her hand landed on his chest. “It’s nice to know that after everything, you still care.”

“I do,” Nigel uttered. Then, “Damn it.”

“What?” Callie asked. Though she knew. Because an electric charge of desire had just shot through her body, and she was certain Nigel had felt it, too.

What was it about them that a simple touch could cause both of their bodies to be simultaneously turned on?

“If we’re going to stick to the being-friends bit, it’s best you don’t touch me…like that.”

Callie’s fingers were moving up and down his chest, over the area of his scar. His heart.

“What if I don’t want to stop touching you?” And knew she must be mad. Because words were coming from her mouth that she didn’t plan.

“What are you saying?” Nigel asked, his voice low.

“I…” What
was
she saying? “I guess I didn’t expect it to be this hard.”

“What?” When Callie didn’t speak, he went on. “Us living together?”

Not meeting his eyes, she nodded.

“Tell me about it. I feel like I’m walking around in a constant state of arousal.”

Callie’s eyes flew to his. “Really?”

“I guess time hasn’t changed one thing,” Nigel said, placing his hand on hers. “We were always good together.”

“That we were,” she agreed.

“And I’m not seeing anyone. Neither are you. Maybe there’s no reason to fight what always came so naturally for us.”

Callie found herself nodding. And before she knew it, Nigel placed his mouth on hers.

And just like the last time, her body erupted with heat. What was it about kissing Nigel that thrilled her like no one else’s kisses ever had?

He framed her face and kissed her with gentle persistence, the kind of kiss Callie knew she would never get enough of.

As the kiss deepened, he moved his hands from her face, along the length of her neck and then down her arms. Finally, Callie slipped her arms around his neck, noting that her right shoulder only hurt mildly as she did so.

“Mom?”

At the sound of Kwame’s voice, Callie jerked apart from Nigel and whipped her head around. Seconds later, Kwame rounded the corner into the kitchen.

What a close call!
Callie thought, then hurried over to her son. “What is it, Kwame?”

“Maybe you can make me some chicken noodle soup?”

“Of course.” Callie met Nigel’s gaze, and his expression seemed to say the same thing she felt.
Close call.
“You have chicken noodle soup, Nigel?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Do you mind preparing it for Kwame? Because what you just told me…I should go see my sisters, fill them in. The sooner the better.” Callie was aware that she was rambling, and that it was for Kwame’s benefit. She didn’t want him to suspect that she and Nigel had been doing anything in the kitchen other than talking.

“Right,” Nigel said. “Sure.”

She wasn’t directly meeting his gaze. “Then I’ll just go. Now.”

“You do that,” Nigel told her.

Callie turned to Kwame. “Your father’s going to make you the soup. I need to see your aunts for a bit. Okay?”

Kwame nodded. “Okay.”

Then, with one last sheepish glance at Nigel, Callie waltzed out of the kitchen, then exited the house.

Chapter 15

A
short while later, Callie was telling her sisters what she had learned from Nigel.

“You’re sure?” Deanna asked.

“Yes,” Callie said to her sisters, who were sitting at the small kitchen table. “Nigel found our mother’s former boyfriend—the one she was running from.”

“Oh my Lord,” Natalie said. “I’ve been praying for this. Praying we would find something soon.”

“It’s only a small step,” Callie said, keeping her tone measured. “All he told me is that the man’s name is Rodney Cook, and he’s currently incarcerated for manslaughter.”

“Then we have to go talk to him,” Natalie said. “Make him tell us what happened to our mother.”

Callie stared at her sister, at the obvious hope in her eyes. Even as young children, she had always been the one to be extra hopeful. Despite the clear evidence that their mother had abandoned them, Natalie had always felt she would return one day.

Deanna, however, looked more cautiously hopeful. “Did Nigel try to talk to this guy?”

“He’s in prison in California,” Callie explained. “A far trek.”

“But a short flight away,” Natalie countered.

“Did you hear what I said?” Callie asked, wondering how her sister could have missed the big picture. “The guy’s in jail for
manslaughter
. Doesn’t that concern you?”

As Callie stared from Natalie to Deanna, her words seemed to register. Natalie gasped.

“You don’t think…you don’t think he killed her?” Natalie asked. “That’s not what you’re saying, is it?”

“I think we need to be prepared for the worst,” Callie said. “After all, even Auntie Jean said that our mother was in touch with her for a few years, then the contact just stopped.”

Deanna pushed back her chair and rose, then began to pace the kitchen. She crossed her arms over her chest as she did, her expression grim.

“I guess what I’m saying is…” Callie began, “if we’re going to move forward, we have to be prepared for the worst.” She paused, then looked directly at Natalie. “Are you okay with that?”

A few moments passed before Natalie slowly nodded. “If she’s gone, we still need to know.”

Callie nodded. Now that there was a lead, and the real likelihood that they might discover what had happened to their mother, Callie wasn’t sure what to feel. Because suddenly, perhaps not knowing might be the best thing.

“What’s happening with you and Nigel?” Deanna asked.

At the question, Callie looked at her. “Excuse me?”

“You live in his home now so you’ve been spending a lot of time together,” Deanna went on. “And now he’s helping to find our mother?”

Callie drew in a deep breath. She’d had the same thought as Deanna, that Nigel going to the length of looking into her mother’s case signified he cared for her.

“He’s being a friend,” Callie said, and didn’t meet her sister’s eyes as she thought of the kiss. “And I appreciate his help.”

“Could you have given a less political answer?” Deanna asked.

“Tell me about it,” Natalie agreed. “I mean, look at your body language. Deanna mentioned Nigel and your whole body lit up.” She paused. “Are you two an item again?”

“An item?” Callie said, her tone dismissive. “Good grief, no.” But despite her words, she was feeling a swell of excitement in her chest. If Kwame hadn’t interrupted them in the kitchen, she would have went to bed with him again. In fact, she felt distinctly sexually unsatisfied.

God help her, she was lusting after him.

“Oh my God, Natalie’s right.” Deanna stared at her, her expression one of surprise. “You
are
beaming.”

“I’m not beam—” But Callie’s words died on her lips when she realized that she was trying to suppress a smile.

As her sisters continued to stare at her, clearly expecting some kind of explanation, she said, “It’s just the way he’s taken so well to Kwame.”

“Which means what?” Deanna asked.

“Why the twenty questions?” Callie countered.

Natalie smirked. “The look on your face is making it obvious, anyway. You and Nigel have reconnected, haven’t you?”

“We had to reconnect,” Callie said simply. “We’re parents.”

“Another political answer,” Deanna chimed.

“Exactly,” Deanna beamed. “Because you know that’s not what I mean. I’m talking about
reconnecting
reconnecting.”

Callie opened her mouth to speak, but said nothing. And then was flooded with the memory of Nigel’s mouth on hers. How utterly magnificent the erotic charge to her body had been because of his touch… .

“She’s smitten,” Deanna said. “Look at her.”

“I’m not smitten,” Callie said.

“All I can say,” Deanna began, giving her a lopsided look, “is that I hope you’re not seeing anyone else, and that Nigel isn’t seeing anyone else. Because anyone else doesn’t stand a chance.”

“You’re jumping from
A
to
Z
,” Callie said.

“And poor Nigel, you can’t leave him brokenhearted again,” Natalie added.

Callie waved off the suggestion. “Nigel isn’t going to be heartbroken over anything I do.” She wanted to throttle Natalie when she shot her a look of disbelief. “It’s true. How can you expect that there would be anything between us after all this time?”

“You didn’t see Nigel when you left,” Natalie said. “He was devastated. Came by and called every day. Wanted to know if we’d heard from you. I’ve never seen a man more heartbroken. Seriously, he loved you, Callie. The kind of love I’ve never seen a man express before.”

The words hit Callie with the impact of a brick falling on her head. She hadn’t thought about what Nigel had gone through when she had left, because it had been too hard to even think of him, and to hear of his pain hurt her in a way she didn’t expect.

“Natalie’s right,” Deanna went on. “A love like that…it doesn’t die.”

Callie’s heart thundered in her chest. She remembered Nigel’s kiss, how tender yet passionate, and how it felt as if no time had passed when she was in his arms.

She had told herself for years that she was over him, but she had to acknowledge that seeing him again had sparked something within her… .

They’d made love, and it had been incredible, but Callie knew better than to expect that it meant something more than two people who once loved each other coming together one more time. Perhaps it had been about closure more than anything else. Because how could Nigel forgive her betrayal?

“A lot of time has passed,” Callie argued, “and I’m not foolish enough to believe that Nigel’s simply going to forgive me for having taken away his son without ever telling him he existed. Not exactly a great foundation for reconnecting, as you say.”

“You never know what can happen,” Natalie said. “One thing I’m certain about is that you and Nigel were always meant to be.”

“If we were meant to be, then wouldn’t we be together?” Callie retorted.

Sometimes her sister’s overly romantic ideals annoyed her. Even in the face of having loved and lost someone to infidelity, Natalie still seemed to be the hopeless romantic she had always been before.

“Your problem then and now was that you couldn’t see what you had. You never trusted anything. And I understand why. Heck, I understand better than anyone, except for Deanna. We were all in the same boat. All abandoned. I know that I did certain things simply because of what we went through. Because of my inability to trust love.”

Callie looked doubtful. “Did you just say inability to trust love? You—the dreamer out of all of us?”

“And what happened to me? I ended up marrying someone who didn’t love me, didn’t I? A man who wanted a trophy wife to go along with his trophy life. Oh, I know love when I see it in other people. At least I think I do. But I’m the last person to know it when it comes into my own life.”

“What I want to know,” Deanna asked, “is do you still feel something for Nigel?”

“I didn’t come back here to rekindle anything with Nigel,” Callie said, speaking honestly. “I came back here for our aunt and uncle. And to do the right thing. It would be stupid of me to think that after all this time we could ever rekindle anything.”

“But that doesn’t answer the question of whether or not you want to,” Deanna said.

Callie scowled as she stared at her sisters. “What has gotten into both of you today? Why all the questions about Nigel?”

“Because as much as Deanna and I haven’t always seen eye to eye,” Natalie began, “this is one thing we always agreed on. We used to talk about how much Nigel loved you. How you were so young, yet so lucky to find someone like him. I can’t believe that a love that strong would die forever.”

“Or die at all,” Deanna chimed.

Hearing her sisters’ words made Callie’s stomach tighten. She couldn’t help thinking about just how hard it had been when she had walked away from Nigel. She had loved him with all of her heart and soul. But then she had come to believe that their differences would keep them apart. Rather,
force
them apart one day. So she had done what she had considered the best thing.

She ran.

She ran, and she didn’t look back. It was the only way to survive. A clean break. Because looking back would have been too painful each day. The wondering
what if.

Callie knew just how hard it was to wonder what if. She had watched her sisters’ hopefulness over the fact that their mother would return one day eventually fade. In fact, Callie had acted as the mother in many ways, telling them that yes, their mother loved them and that she would be back. But day by day, it became harder for her to believe her own words.

Then it became harder for Deanna to believe. Ultimately, only Natalie had clung to hope. But in the end, even the dreamer’s hope had waned.

“I think the most important thing right now is our mother.” Callie looked at her sisters in turn. “I didn’t come back for Nigel, but I’m certainly glad that he’s forming a wonderful relationship with his son. I came back for our aunt. And I came back for the both of you, too.” Callie reached for her sisters’ hands. “And now, it seems we’re on track to finding out what may have happened to our mother. That’s what I want to concentrate on.”

* * *

The next day, Kwame was feeling better—so much so that he was giggling his head off in the living room while Callie sorted the dinner plates into the dishwasher in the kitchen.

She had left Kwame and Nigel playing Twister, but the laughter got the better of her curiosity, and Callie exited the kitchen. As she rounded the corner into the living room, she asked, “What is going on?”

“Get Mom!” Kwame exclaimed, his breathing ragged.

Nigel advanced, and Callie’s eyes widened. She didn’t know what Nigel was doing until his hands came down on her torso and he began to tickle her.

“No!” Callie screamed. Giggling, she tried her best to wriggle free. “No, please! No!”

Nigel didn’t let up, and Callie fell forward, dropping to the floor in an attempt to escape his hands. “You’re killing me!” she cried, jerking her body in a futile attempt to avoid being tickled. “Stop!”

Kwame jumped into the fray, and only after Callie was out of control laughing her head off, did Nigel and Kwame let up.

Callie looked at Nigel as the laughter subsided. He was still on top of her, his strong thighs spread over her hips. She suddenly realized just how suggestive their positioning was, and her breath—already coming in spurts—snagged in her chest.

He seemed to realize the same thing too, and something passed in his eyes as he stared at her. Callie felt undeniable heat spreading through her veins.

Good grief, how was it her attraction to him never ceased? But even more perplexing, she was certain that the feeling was mutual.

A love like that…it doesn’t die.

“That was awesome, Dad!” Kwame raised his hand to Nigel for a high-five.

Nigel smacked his hand against his son’s, and moved off of Callie. Just like that, the spell between them was broken.

Kwame then turned his attention to Callie, offering her a hand to help her to her feet. “See, Mom, it’s fun to play once in a while.” As Callie stood, Kwame said to Nigel, “My mom doesn’t take enough time to play and laugh and have fun.”

“Is that so?” Nigel asked, looking at her once more.

Callie could only imagine what he was thinking of her. That she was the same uptight person she had been ten years ago. No, she didn’t have a lot of time to goof around like this. With her work and extra courses she took to better her knowledge of her field and being a single mother, she was busy. But she wasn’t boring. She took time to spend with her son and create happy memories where she could. To hear Kwame say what he did actually surprised her.

“Oh!” Callie said as she jumped to her feet, her sense of smell instantly assaulted. “The cookies.”

And with that, she charged toward the kitchen. She had put the cookies in the oven, and then began to fill the dishwasher.

Now, Callie threw open the oven and saw what she feared. The chocolate chip cookies were a dark, dark brown, clearly burned.