Always (Wesson Rebel M.C. Series) (13 page)

I do as he asks, yowling when he hits my g-spot
and retreats, over and over again.

“I want to hear
you, Cora,” he demands.

“So good, so good.” My head sp
ins.

He’s been going easy on me.
I forgot what it was like before when we were wild, inexhaustible, and adventurous.

“Tell me who’s fucking you
, baby?”

“You—
you are.”

He bottoms
out, going deeper and deeper. “Say my name, Baby Girl.”

“Dallas…
Dallas.”

“That’s righ
t, don’t you ever forget it.” His hand comes up and grips my neck, gently pressing down on my wind pipe, just enough to let me know he’s there and in total control of the situation.

“Oh…
” I whimper.

“You like it when I’m in control because you know I’ll always take care of you, don’t you?”

“Yes,” I gasp out.

“No more running. I want all of it. You hear me?” He drives deeps
, hitting my cervix.

I scream as
I began to come undone. “Close, Jesus I’m close!”

“You’re going to come for me and you’re going to let go.” His eyes are alight with fire
. “You understand me?”

I know he’s talking about more than my orgasm.
“Yes, yes.” I clutch the sheets between us.

“And I’m going to fill up your pussy too, same way as I always did before. No more of this bullshit.”

He’s ripping down the road blocks I placed between us
and forcing me back on our life’s path. He wants another baby. I don’t mind, I adore baby R squared, but the fear won’t leave me. It suffocates me, choking the life from me like a weed killing a flower.

“No, stay with me. No more disappearing.” He forces the
words out through gritted teeth while his neck is all tensed up.

I can tell he’s close. I’ve been drowning and he’s throwing me a lifeline
, but I know that this towing will come with some heavy dosage of pain. I hover at the edge, fighting against surrendering to my body’s wishes and his will.

He tig
htens his old around my throat.

M
y walls clamp down. I’m going over whether I want it or not. Tired of battling alone and ready for the bliss only Dallas offers, I let the waves carry me away. He’s gravity, there’s no denying him forever.

He cries out, pumps
a few more times and fills me with his warmth. Collapsing on top of me, he buries his face to my neck. “You’re getting my cut in the next three months and we’re getting hitched.”

Too tired to argue
, I moan a noncommittal answer. I’m not sure how much I can bend without going back to the dark place that consumed me right after the hit on the MC. But finally, I’m ready to try.

Present

How can the man who fought for me so hard before, walk away so easily? My head falls back onto the couch and I curse the day I let him back inside. How many times is it going to take for me to understand that Dallas Wesson brings pain? I’m many things, but a stupid woman isn’t one of them. Love doesn’t mean you continue to cut your main artery and bleed out. This time, things will be different between me and Dallas. This time, I’ll be strong enough to stand on my own.

Dallas

I peel my crusted eyelids up and reality bears down on me like a freight train. I’m in a rundown hotel, hours away from my home. My father is dead, my brother is Wesson’s president and I’m a Nomad. I lick my dry lips and wonder what Cora is doing. She’s a victim of circumstance in all this, wrong place, wrong time, wrong man. I never should’ve started shit with her. I knew it. That’s why I waited so long to let her know how I felt.

God, I knew she watched me, wanted me. I can still remember the powerful streak of electricity that ran through my body the first time I saw her view me as a man. My dick hardens
even now and I groan. Good to know at least one of my heads is functioning properly. I miss her warmth beside me and the sweet smell of her skin. I miss the sound of my baby boy’s babbling and the brilliance of his gaze. His eyes are so like mine, but I never want him to gain anything else from me. I’m starting to wonder if maybe I’m cursed.

I roll over in bed and grab my phone from the nightstand. Twenty voice mails and a slew of texts. I won’t leave Cora hanging. She’s lost enough as it is. Everyone else can go fuck themselves. I don’t owe them any explanations. I shoot a quick text.

Got in to a hotel late last night and crashed, still breathing.~Dallas

I hold my breath as
I wait for a response. When it doesn’t come right away I begin the task of scrolling through the others. I stop when I see my brother’s.
I know you need time to get your head straight. I got Cora and R2.

A part of me wants to get on my bike
and drive home. Patch things up and pretend I’m okay. The fix would be temporary and I can’t walk around a ticking time bomb. I don’t even know what life truly means with dad gone or if I want to be or should be President. I’ve lived my whole life for him. No one ever asked me what I wanted. Anger rushes up and I toss my phone across the room. It slams into the wall. I’m fucking everything up again, just the way I used to.
After all this time, my old man turns out to be right
. My heads throbs and I find myself wishing this was nothing more than a hangover induced dream and my brother would be waking me up any minute to give me hell.

Past

Tiny droplets of liquid pepper my face. “Wake up, Fucker!” a gruff voice bitches at me.

Groani
ng, I run a hand over my face. The moisture continues to sprinkle me. Annoyed, I peel my eyelids open, wincing as the light pierces them.

“Rise and shine, bitch.”
Danny grins.

“Oh, fuck you,
” I mumble. My throat is dry and my eyes are burning. I overdid it with the whiskey last night. I force myself into an upright position on the couch.

“You in the dog house?” Danny asks, clearly amused.

Scowling, I will the room to stop spinning and wait for my stomach to settle. I’m a pro at this hangover bullshit by now. Sometimes, the only way to deal with the demons in my head and the stress on my shoulders is to get ripped or get a good fuck. “Nah, just crashed out here after I drank.” I run my hands through my hair and push to my feet, walking to the kitchen to start a cup of coffee. I bitched about buying this Kuerig coffee brewer, but the shit turned into an essential item.

“You even remember calling me during that binge?” Danny asks.

“Yeah. Thanks for coming down, Co could use Rowan right now.”

“Yeah about
that. What the fuck, brother? Reaper flat lines and you don’t call us?”

“Not my call,” I say
, shaking my head. “I only got so much pull as VP. And being Dad’s son, I get even less. You know how he gets once he gets something in his head.”

“Fuck yes
, I do,” Danny grumbles.

“I can tell by the level of irritation in your voice you’ve already seen him. I don’t get why you two can’t get along.” I say
, shaking my head as I doctor my mug with sugar and creamer. Fuck that black shit, I like my coffee sweet.

“Because he thinks he’s God.”

“As far as Wesson is concerned he is,” I reply with a snort. “It’s the way of shit. You know it. I know it. Accept it and move on.”

“Ain’t so easy for me.
”

“You know
if I didn’t know better. I’d think you had the hard on for President someday.”

“Fuck that. It’s a patch I never want to wear on my cut.”

I chuckle as I place the mug beneath the dispenser and turn to face him, leaning against the counter. “How’s college life treating you?” He’s always been too smart for his own good. Seeing him go away had been hard, but satisfying. It felt like what he should be doing. What I knew he would do, if he weren’t bogged down with the club. I’m not blind to the fact that my brother isn’t in whole heartedly for us. But it doesn’t change shit. Short of walking away from us and living in exile, he’s locked in. 

“Good. Shit, compared to what we grew up dealing with, it’s a cake walk. It makes me sick all these kids walking around with zero responsibilities
, bitching like they got it so hard,” Danny scoffs. “We pretty much stick to ourselves.”

“I thought
you’d be eating that shit up.”

“What do you mean?” Danny
frowns.

“Being normal.”

He gives a dry laugh that makes me flinch. The sound reminds me of rusty razor blades “Normal? We can never be that. After all we’ve seen and done, we’re lucky we’re not completely fucked in the head.”

I always knew the weight of what we did sat heavily on him. “I don’t know
, I’m pretty fucking normal,” I say grinning.

“Oh, bullshit.” He laughs
.

With the sound, suddenly the cloud lifts
and I can breathe again. It’s easier to mask everything behind flippancy and humor. “What? I got a house, kids and an almost wife. I’m living the fucking American dream.”

“More like you’re living with the consequences of not being able to keep your hands and yo
ur dick to yourself,” Danny teases.

“Please
…you’ve seen my wife and felt her pussy. You going to tell me you could keep your hands off it? Besides, that shit was done purposefully.”

“You had it out for that girl from the minute she was semi-legal.”

I shrug. There’s no shame in my feelings for her. When she grew a pair at fifteen and started looking less like my little buddy who followed me around her entire life, I knew it was just a matter of time until we were together. Because there was no way I’d let any other asshole touch her. I sealed her fate with mine the first chance I got and staked my claim. People thought R squared was an accident, but they couldn’t be more wrong. He’s my legacy and my link to Cora forever, no matter what happened. I never pretended to be a perfect man. I’ve fucked up with her many times and I knew it would never really stop. When the club comes first and everything else comes second, feelings get hurt, needs go unmet and sometimes, old ladies get sick of it. Still, the things a mother would do for her child were unparallel to anything else. I’d seen it with my own two eyes. Some people would call me manipulative, but I thought of myself as a planner. We were in this for the long run. So, I made my choices with that expectation in mind.

“
Even if that is true, I held off until she was twenty-one, I should be nominated for saint hood.”

“Jesus, dude.”

“What?” I shrug. “I’m lucky. There are motherfuckers out there old and craggy who’ve never experienced an ounce of what we have with Cora and Rowan.”

“Truth,” h
e agrees. “You ready to tell me what the fuck is going on with the club now?”

I nod.
I knew this was coming.
“We’re battening down the hatches, brother. Revenge is coming, and we want to be ready for blowback. First, we need to let them get antsy.”

“
It’s been months, since they hit us and Rufus went into that coma, so how long are we going to wait?”

“Not sure. We got some bitches on the inside feeding us information. When Dad thinks the time is right
, we’ll strike.”

“I want to be here for that,” Danny says.

“Consider it done.”

“So, you and Cora?”

“Rocky road, man that shit with Reaper getting hit and hospitalized fucked her up bad. It’s like she wants to live inside this shell and not get too deep with anything. One minute, I break through to her and the next, we’re backsliding. It’s frustrating as hell.” I take my doctored coffee, stir it with a spoon and take a sip, welcoming the rich taste.

“It’s not surprising after something like that. Maybe she should see a shrink or something.”

I snort. “If I thought she’d go and it’d help, I would say yes. I think it’s just something she has to work through,
we
have to.” I grip the handle of the mug tight and it snaps. “Shit.”  Hot liquid dribbles onto the floor and I place it in the sink.

“Dal
?”

I glance up at him. “
I can’t lose her or R2, Danny. They’re my fucking life. I’d leave this shit all behind if I had to—just to keep them.”

His jaw drops.

It sounds insane. I was raised in this and I spent most of my adult life bending over backward to be the perfect rider for my father. It used to mean the world. Then Cora and I happened. She’s the only person who sees me for me. I never have to pretend or be more than what I am with her. It’s rare and it’s everything I never realized I needed or wanted until I got it.

“There’s no way you’d ever lo
se Cora. She’s been in love with you since she was thirteen.”

His words reassure me. There are days I fear I’m fighting a losing battle. When the girl I knew is hidden so firmly behind her defenses
, I wonder if she’ll ever return to me. Having Reaper in limbo makes it harder. There’s no closure and with every visit, she relives that moment. I take a deep breath.

“She’s worth the fight too, isn’t she?”
Danny says.

“Always.”

Present

My stomach rolls. I stumble out of bed into the bathroom and dry heave. I left that behind. I damaged the beautiful woman I only so recently helped put back together. How can I justify that? Why is my pain greater than what she went through? The questions swirl around in my head and I still have no answers. The self loathing of the past rears its ugly head. I don’t know who I am without my father and the thing I fear most is becoming the failure he always claimed I was. I strip down and climb into the shower with only two things on my mind, food and the road. The only thing that helps is being on the back of my bike where I don’t have to think, where I can outrace the demons in my mind.