An Ever Fixéd Mark (51 page)

“Lizzie,” a familiar voice lifted her
attention away from the phone.

“Eric,” she managed a smile to conceal her
surprise.

“How are you?” his return grin had no
awkward or bitter sentiment.

“Well,” she nodded, glancing to her guest
list.

“I’m sitting with Dr. Chiang,” he rested his
fingers on the table. “How have you been?”

“Running lots.”

“Yeah, I heard you were training for the
marathon,” he lifted a flirtatious eyebrow.

“Are you still working for Dr. Chiang?”
Lizzie assumed she was the source of the piece of gossip.

“I got a residency at MGH, but I keep in
touch with her. In fact, she wants me to come back and work for her
when the new cardiac center opens.”

“The opening is next month,” Lizzie tried
not to show apprehension of seeing him in the cafeteria.

“Well, it might be a year or so… but she is
very persuasive,” he offered another knowing smirk.

“That’s very… good for you, Eric.”

“It’s good to see you, Lizzie,” he smiled.
“Do you know where Kate and Mr. Fulton are sitting?”

Lizzie stopped at the familiarity with Dr.
Chiang. Maybe his exuberant charm had nothing to do with Lizzie and
was all about the department head trying to woo his medical talent.
“Table six,” her voice quieted.

“Thanks,” he turned towards the reception
hall. “I’ll probably see you at the opening.”

“Probably,” Lizzie watched him leave and
wished she could avoid that event.

It wasn’t that she didn’t want to see him.
There was a part of her that was glad to see her former… fling. He
offered her the chance for something else. She didn’t take that
chance because she wanted Ben. What if she accepted his offer a
year before? Would her life be better? To have avoided all this
heartache? To not know Lily. To have a somewhat normal life. Did
she really have any other option than Ben and Oliver? Wasn’t it
obvious that Eric had a thing for Dr. Chiang all the while? Lizzie
was just a distraction.

She didn’t want a relationship with Eric.
She always knew that. Even before Ben came into her life. She found
him attractive. And maybe if she was in a better frame of mind, she
would see how far he was willing to go to distract himself from Dr.
Chiang. But she wasn’t. She was miserable. There was nothing about
her life that lifted her spirits. Not her job. Not the solace of
her room.

She packed up the registration table an hour
later, peering in to the ballroom where the dancing already began.
Eric had his arm around Dr. Chiang in an enthusiastic turn. She
never realized how well he could move on the dance floor. Maybe she
misjudged him. Maybe… maybe she really wasn’t who he was after in
the long run. She decided not to go in and sit with the other staff
to eat a cold extra meal from the caterer. She wasn’t hungry… and
she wasn’t sure she could sit in that room and be pleasant.

*****

Meg was typing on her laptop when Lizzie
came home. . “You’re home early,” she looked up and smiled.

“You’re home,” Lizzie sat in the chair
without removing her coat.

“Did you expect I wouldn’t be?”

Lizzie wondered if she would confess the
reason for the pulsing music. Maybe she didn’t want to know.
Secrets were not fun, but sometimes they were easier than knowing
the truth.

“I saw Eric tonight,” Lizzie sighed.

“Oh,” Meg took a sip of her wine.

“Maybe I made a bad choice.”

“Seriously?”

“I don’t know,” Lizzie sighed and looked at
the muted television screen. The costume epic made her think of
Lily. “Maybe I didn’t have a choice.”

“Is he still interested?”

“He’s a surgeon. I’m sure he has better
options.”

“Oh Lizzie,” Meg sighed. “We’re quite a
pair, aren’t we?”

Lizzie met her eyes, wondering much they
knew. Did Claire… say anything to her? Why would she? Lizzie didn’t
want to know. She was tired of finding things out that made life
more complicated and less happy. “Well, I was thinking of a long
run tomorrow. I suppose I should go to bed.”

Meg took another sip of wine. “Hey, you know
my friend Didi published her book. She’s giving a reading tomorrow
night. If you aren’t exhausted by your run, you should come.”

“It would be good to get out of the
house…”

“There’s a little party at her place after.
I said I would help set things up, but if you want to meet me at
the book store, you can join us for some wine and cheese.”

“Okay,” Lizzie paused. “Meg, I’m sorry we…
I’m sorry that we don’t talk much any more.”

“Well, we have a baby shower to help plan.
So we better start talking soon.”

“Right. Tomorrow sounds good.”

*****

It wasn’t quite twelve miles, but close
enough. She probably could have run more. She had so much energy
that wasn’t going any place except into her running. She didn’t
want to sit at home and think once again of a path she chose a year
ago. A path away from a normal life – a normal life with a man who
once said something to her about having a family. It was really
just a suggestion for dinner. But he was interested. Maybe he
wasn’t that interested if his ultimate goal was Dr. Chiang. Then
again, she lost track of him after Ben came to her apartment with a
bottle of wine.

It was no use dwelling. No use sitting in
her apartment wondering the whatifs. She wasn’t really that
enthusiastic about Didi’s book. She vaguely remembered conversation
of it on Meg’s birthday. Some cheesy, oversexed novel, with a
paranormal element. God. That was… she wondered if she would be
able to sit through the reading without laughing outright.

She didn’t laugh outright. Because, there in
the second row, was Claire. There were a couple other students
Lizzie recognized from the study sessions. None of them had that
hungry look in their eyes. Well, none from what Lizzie could see in
the back row of added chairs where she snuck in as Didi took the
podium.

Lizzie didn’t even pay attention enough to
laugh. She was focused on the long dark hair of that vampire. Maybe
she imagined it. She certainly had the physicality of an 18 year
old. Again, from what she could tell ten rows back in the crowded
reading room of the book store. Why why why why was she deciding to
think about those things? She didn’t want those creatures as part
of her life. She walked away from Oliver because he hurt her. She
wanted to go back to Ben… but Ben didn’t want her. So she was
better off.

But there was… Lizzie forced the detail of
her run out of her mind. It would be too easy to get confident
about her endorphins, easy to forget everything she knew she should
think about. Easy to forget, as she did that winter evening on
Jack’s back porch with his drummer.

She shook herself back to the present when
everyone clapped at the end of Didi’s reading. Meg was seated next
to Tamara in the middle row and asked a couple questions to get the
crowd started. As if sensing Lizzie’s concentration, she turned
around and waved quickly before returning to hear Didi’s answer
about her favorite writing habits.

Lizzie didn’t want to go to the party.
Especially not if the students were invited as well. She waited
until the questions ended and the line started for book signing.
“You made it,” Meg wended her way through the crowd.

“Yeah,” she couldn’t stop herself from
looking to see if the dark hair was still in the second row.

“Are you coming to the party?”

“I intended to,” Lizzie sighed. She wished
she brought her car and didn’t take the train. Oh well. She could
deal with a walk. “But I’m tired. I think that run took more out of
me than… I think I’ll just get a book and congratulate Didi.”

“Well, if you change your mind, you know the
address, right?”

Lizzie nodded, even though she really didn’t
know where Tamara and Didi lived. She watched Meg follow Tamara out
of the store and bought a book. It was the least she could do.
Maybe she might even read it for distraction. Didi was pleased to
see her… so that was… something.

As she hastened to leave the store, her eye
caught a glimpse of the New Age section, and a large, glossy book
about reincarnation. She stepped in front of the shelf and scanned
through the hefty volume. So many words about regression therapy
and hypnosis. Too much work. She put it down and saw a whole shelf
on the subject. None of them had answers about Lily or books that
fell into the water. But… it was something… something to pretend
had an answer. Something to occupy another lonely evening.

“That book isn’t any good,” a voice startled
her so much Lizzie dropped it. “Most of these aren’t.”

Lizzie allowed herself to take in the dark
hair and dark eyes and slightly olive skin. Even under the loose
form of a peasant blouse, it was obvious Claire had a perfect
hourglass. The right proportion to her waist, the lift to her round
breasts. She smiled at Lizzie’s concentrated glance and then pulled
another book from the display. “This one is all right. Mostly
because the author uses personal narrative. It could be a load of
crap, but I always found it insightful.”

“You’ve read it?”

“I’ve read a lot of things,” she replaced
the book. “Although, truthfully, I probably won’t read that
book.”

Lizzie looked at her signed copy. “Then why
did you come here?”

“Professor Lewis asked the class to come
support her friend.” It was odd. She almost spoke like the eighteen
year old she was pretending to be. But Lizzie knew that was an act.
She could see it in her dark amber eyes. “But I think I’ll skip the
party. I doubt their crudités will do much for my appetite.”

Lizzie felt the scarlet on her face as those
amber eyes locked with her own. She pulled her concentration away
and found another book in which to feign interest. “Are you going
to the party?” Claire persisted.

“Didi is a good friend,” Lizzie replaced the
book and moved along the shelf, putting her in the women’s studies
section.

“Hm,” Claire still looked, waiting for
Lizzie’s eyes to turn. She pulled out a book about female
physiology and didn’t pretend very long to look at it before taking
one slow step away from Lizzie. “I might be able to tell you a
thing or two myself. I don’t think my personal narrative is as
compelling as that book, but I do have some experience with that
sort of thing.”

Lizzie couldn’t stop herself from meeting
the amber eyes or the blood rush from appearing once more across
her cheeks. She knew Claire was hungry and could probably sense
those twelve miles that pushed the oxygen through her bloodstream.
She didn’t want to go to Didi’s party and sit around with Meg’s
friends and students. She didn’t want to go home. She wanted what
she knew she shouldn’t want. She… “What can you tell me?”

“Why don’t we go somewhere that’s better for
this type of conversation?” Claire’s voice changed, dropping the
teenager façade. Lizzie didn’t answer. She merely followed her out
of the bookstore, across the parking lot towards a red Volvo coupe.
Her heart accelerated as she took the passenger seat and Claire
silently drove out of the parking lot.

“
How do you know Alec?”
Lizzie spit out after five minutes of silence made her too jumpy to
sit still.

“He’s an old friend,” Claire focused on the
drive.

“Is that all?”

Claire laughed and pressed her directional.
“Alec and I were freshmen together many years ago.”

“How many years ago?”

“Before I changed. We are the same age –
technically.”

“Oh…” Lizzie thought of how seeing Alec and
Meg together made her squirm. But… Ben was no different. He was…
older. And for that matter, so was Oliver. “Why are you in Meg’s
class?”

“I went back to the university last
semester. Thought I’d major in a different genre this time. Alec
said she’s a good teacher,” Claire darted her eyes briefly to
Lizzie. “I can’t deny I was slightly curious about you.”

“Me?” Lizzie clenched the book in her lap
tightly. What was she doing? This couldn’t be any more sane or safe
than kissing Oliver behind the store in Coldbrook.

Claire laughed again. Her laugh wasn’t
youthful. It was wise and wicked. “My husband knew Ben Cottingham.
They weren’t particularly friendly. Matthew never understood the
point of the clinic. Neither did I for that matter. I never met
him, but I knew of him. I knew he kept to himself. I was curious
about the woman who changed that. And why.”

“
I don’t want to talk
about Ben,” Lizzie set her jaw. She did want to talk about him. But
this woman clearly didn’t like Ben. She didn’t want to cry in front
of this vampire, who was eerily confident in her eighteen year old
body. Lizzie felt the weakness of a five year old in her body that
was twice Claire’s age.

“Fair enough,” Claire pursed her lips as she
turned the car again, leaving the main road. Lizzie hadn’t paid
attention to their direction or where they were going, but suddenly
the number of trees increased and the sizes of homes got noticeably
larger. “He wasn’t my main interest anyway, Elizabeth.”

She turned her head back at her full name.
She remembered their hasty introduction at Starbucks and was
certain Alec called her Lizzie. “What is?”

“
I saw a picture of you in
your living room,” Claire lightened her voice to admiration.
“You’ve changed so much. You reversed your aging process. By sheer
force of will. Not because someone bit you and infected you with a
strange form of DNA. I envy that.”

“Is it the change or the endorphins?” Lizzie
breathed out in annoyance. Were vampires that shallow? Was it all
about athletics and youth and neurological chemicals? What about
love?

“I admire the change,” Claire sighed. “I
won’t ever change. I can’t get worse. I can’t get better.”