An Illicit Pursuit (21 page)

Even, Jack, though not a Garnett, loves me
for setting him up with Carmen Piana. Although they didn’t last
long, he is, to this day, grateful to me.

As for Adam. Well, he doesn’t want anything
to do with my money or success. He pays for the dinners when we go
out, buys me jewelry, and shares the household expenses in equal
parts. But, I know his weakness, and he loves me for taking
advantage of that.

Sex.

Wild, rough, animal sex.

I give it to him as often as he wants,
sometimes more often than he can handle. I let him take me in the
mornings as the first thing and as the last in the nights. I
surprise him in the shower, at the gym, during lunch times at his
work, wearing the shortest of skirts, barely covering my ass and no
panties underneath. The first time I did that at his work, he got
so mad at me for showing too much skin, he yanked me by my elbow
and hauled me out to the underground parking lot, then fucked me
against the back of his car.

He only came to terms with my choice of
clothes, when I threatened to hold off sex altogether.

Still, I can see his blood boiling in his
veins beneath his hot skin every time his colleagues shoot me
hungry glances, but that only prompts him to fuck me harder against
the desk in his office with all the rage he can’t mouth for fear of
being deprived of his addiction.

I like his no-nonsense attitude, his caveman
possessiveness, and mostly his genuine care for me. Adam has cared
for me after the abortion and after Zach’s departure, without
demanding answers, as if I was his family. In so many ways, he’s
become my family, my place to retreat when things become too hairy
for me to handle.

He carries my burden with me, sometimes for
me. He’s the only one I can feel calm with. Even my mother, or Mia,
or Adriana, who’s become my best friend, many times makes me want
to pluck my eyelashes out with their complaints and caprices.

But, not Adam.

His arms are my safe, serene haven, where I
can cover myself against the ugliness of the world and the demands
that I can’t fulfill.

I love waking up and seeing him sprawled in
the bed beside me, with his hair all ruffled and disheveled, his
eyes still heavy, his body burning hot, ready to conquer the world
and protect me from all the wrongdoings.

His mere presence makes me forget who I am,
the horrible things I did. And just that feeling is enough for me
to surrender all my being to him.

I sneak down under the covers to get a taste
of his morning hard-on, and he rolls over to let me settle between
his legs, his eyes still closed. I want to see what he’s seeing
behind the curtain of the lids of his eyes, feel how a generous
heart like his can feel, and give him back all the happiness he’s
given me, tenfold.

As he spurts his load into my mouth, I make
it my mission to swallow every drop of his love for me, licking his
cock clean.

“Hello to you, too,” he purrs when I move
back up and roll beside him. I lick my lips and place a soft kiss
on his chest, and he bundles me with his arms. “You must have
peeked into my mind, because that was exactly what I was dreaming
about.”

“Happy to help.” I check the digital clock on
the table. Eight five. I have a tight schedule this morning, usual
for a Saturday, but today will be even busier, because I’ll leave
for one and half months for a film shoot in Canada. As if that’s
not stressful enough, I have to squeeze in a lunch to meet Jack’s
new girlfriend.

He hadn’t dated anyone since Carmen and then
started dating this new girl a few months ago. Apparently she was
one of his students in a summer course he assisted with.

I straighten up, get down from the bed, and
grab the pink, silk robe to put on. My stylist must already be
waiting for me to do my hair and makeup, and with clothes for the
appointments lined up for the next few hours.

“Hey, stay for a few more minutes. Let me get
you off, too, so you won’t snarl at your employees.” Adam winks at
me and pulls the comforter down, giving me full view of already his
half-erect penis. He’s just emptied himself into my mouth, and he’s
again hungry for me.

Getting me off? If only he knew I lost my
ability to orgasm. I feel pleasure, sparks, swelling and all, but
never enough to climax. I’d like to think that’s my punishment for
pursuing the abortion. I’ve never mentioned this to anyone, not
even to my doctor, who might have looked into it. Sometimes,
though, when Adam works me up really well, almost to the point of a
delicious burst, I promise myself to get checked out by a
professional, only to change my mind later when the harsh reality
of my past and my wrongdoing settles back in.

“Getting snarled at is part of their job
description,” I say with a laugh and stride toward the door. After
a shower and a glass of orange juice, I submit myself to the
efficient hands of my stylist and shuffle through my emails while
she fixes my hair and makeup. She lays out a nude, sheath dress,
and salmon shoes with a matching-color purse and gathers up the
makeup station while I change.

After a four-hour hassle with meetings one
after another, I haul myself onto the bed in my bedroom for a
twenty-minute power nap, without bothering to peel off my tight
dress. A throat clearing pulls me away from a particularly
disturbing dream, and I gladly open my eyes, wishing the vivid
images of me drowning in a blood lake will quickly fade away. But
they never do, and worse, they keep on popping up in my mind more
often than I can cope with.

Adam is peering over me, his expression hard
and worried. “The same nightmare again?”

I nod and push up to sit. “Must be the stress
of the movie and having to leave you. Are you sure you can’t come
with me?”

He circles an arm around my waist and pulls
me close. “I wish I could, but the project…”

“Yeah, I know.” I cut him off, turning my
face the other way so he won’t see my disappointment. I know if he
could, he’d spend the entire time with me stuck on a tiny trail in
the freezing cold in Canada, but his job won’t let him. Although
I’m mighty proud that he’s become a brilliant manager at one of the
biggest marketing firms, a small part of me selfishly wishes he
wasn’t. I run my hands through his thick, wavy hair and inhale his
manly scent, trying my best not to think how the hell I’m going to
survive the fifty days ahead of me without him, if he can’t escape
to me for a weekend or two. That’ll be the longest we’ve been
apart.

He leans down for a brief kiss on the lips
then pulls away. “We should hurry. Jack will kill me if I arrive
late to meet his girl.”

I get up to examine my dress for wrinkles and
cringe when I notice it’s nothing but wrinkles. “I need to change.
I promise it won’t take long. I’ll just put on a t-shirt and jeans.
No need to intimidate the poor girl at the first meeting,
right?”

“She’s got no chance against you.” He reaches
for the zipper of my dress and pulls it down, his fingers softly
brushing my skin. “No one does.”

I tilt my head to see his expression and
notice his eyes darkening with lust. Again? I turn around and hook
the waistband of his pants with my fingers, licking my lips
suggestively, batting my eyelashes.

He laughs at my little performance and grabs
my wrists to stop my hands from slipping inside his pants. “No
time, babe.” He twirls me around and slaps on my rear before
letting me go.

I enter the walk-in closet of our bedroom and
pick a pink, deep V-neck t-shirt and blue skinny jeans. I’ve lost
almost thirty shiny pounds without diets or exercising over the
four years. Just like I lost my ability to orgasm, the pleasure of
eating has escaped me, too.

“I’m ready.” I zip and button the jeans and
grab the salmon purse. If a photographer catches me wearing this
purse with a blue t-shirt and jeans, my pictures will wind up in
the worst tabloids for weeks. I can’t have that kind of promotion
right before the shooting of the movie. “One more minute. I’ll be
right back.”

I stride out of the room bare foot and stroll
toward my real closet, which is two rooms past my bedroom, while
texting Nora, my stylist, for a suggestion of a purse matching my
casual outfit.

I burst into the closet, studying the shelves
of purses and clutches. Nora doesn’t reply. I’m torn between
calling her and picking a navy purse and decide to pick the navy
purse when I hear muffled sounds coming from the next room—the
night gowns. Curious and frightened in equal parts, I walk on my
toes through the door adjoining the two rooms. My heart drums as
the noises get louder. I hold my breath and step in, my eyes
attentively looking around in the semi-darkness of the room. If
it’s a stalker, I’ll have only a few seconds to make a run for
it.

I jolt to a stop when I spot a movement
between my white and cream gowns and move closer to see what is
causing the rhythmic movement.

Holy freaking mother of flying monkeys! I’d
rather have to deal with a stalker than be witnessing Nora getting
screwed by none other than my personal assistant, Ryan, Eleanor’s
husband and Adam’s brother-in-law.

Shit!

How will I explain this to Adam and keep him
from trying to kill Ryan? And how will I rid myself of the
disgusting image of two of my employees humping each other? They
don’t seem to be stopping any time soon, and I’d rather avoid the
confrontation, although they’re the ones caught red-handed.

I spin on my heel and tiptoe to the other
closet, taking care to make no sound, and grab the navy purse on my
way out.

Ryan cheating on Eleanor. I wonder how long
he’s been doing it and whether Nora is the only one he’s cheated on
Eleanor with. I should be sorry for Eleanor. After all, she’s
Adam’s sister, but I don’t feel anything. Okay, maybe a little
satisfaction over the fact that she doesn’t have a picture-perfect
family.

If I tell Adam about my discovery, he’ll not
just make a scene, but also ask me to fire Ryan and Nora on the
spot. That would only be fair, considering the fact that I fired my
previous assistant for failure to remind me of a lunch appointment
with a movie director. But, I’m not the one to follow what’s fair
and what’s unjust. For now, I’ll just go about my business, as if
nothing’s happened, until the shoot is over. Then I’ll decide about
their future.

I find Adam in his car at the garage, and we
drive directly to the restaurant in Santa Monica. He’s silent
throughout the drive, and I don’t want to bring up our imminent
separation or mention what I just witnessed. He pulls up in the
parking lot and my bodyguard, Sam, escorts me inside the restaurant
without much hassle. Adam arrives after two minutes, and we settle
at a large table in the back of the restaurant.

“What do you think she looks like?” I ask
after we order our drinks. “Blonde, brunette, red haired?”

Adam gives me a puzzled look. “Jack has
fondness for brunettes. I’ve never seen him dating a blonde. Silly,
I know. He doesn’t know what he’s missing.” He grabs my hand to
lift it to his lips and places a kiss, his tongue sliding briefly
on my skin. His eyes are lustful and a little disappointed, as if
he’s regretting his previous rejection of my offer for a
quickie.

I’ve never noticed it, but yes, Carmen Piana
is a brunette through and through with her jet-black hair. How
about Eleanor, though? She’s blonde, and I’m sure there’d been some
kind of spark between them before the news of her pregnancy broke.
Could her blondeness be the reason why nothing happened between
them? Some men are fixated like that, even the ones as smart and
kind-hearted as Jack.

“How long did you say he’s been dating the
new girl?” I ask, gently squeezing his hand in mine.

“Almost six months.”

I scowl with confusion and curiosity. It
doesn’t sound like Jack at all. “Why didn’t he introduce her to us
earlier?”

Adam laughs and turns away, as if hiding
something from me. “Believe me, you don’t wanna know.”

“Hey.” I pull my hand free and nudge him in
the arm. “Let me decide that. Now spill the beans.”

“Remember why Jack stopped dating
Carmen?”

I recall that they’d dated for three months
but never learned what went wrong. I always thought it was her busy
schedule that caused their end. “Uh, she was too busy to find time
for him?”

“No.”

“Boring in bed?”

“I don’t know. That’s not the reason
anyway.”

“Wasn’t a Lakers fan?”

He rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

“Then, what was the reason?” I look at him
expectantly, but he doesn’t answer. What the hell? “Come on, quit
playing with me. You know how I hate that.”

“Okay, you wanted it. Carmen was into
me.”

Blood shoots up to my brain; everything goes
blurry in a heartbeat.

“What the fuck!”

“Yeah. She invited me to her home, saying
Jack would be there, too. When I showed up, she opened the door for
me, wearing nothing but a transparent baby doll.”

“What did you do?” I ask without
thinking.

“What could I have done?” He sends me a
glare. “I left right away. I don’t cheat. Ever.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean that.” I wrap my arms
around his neck and pull him down for a kiss. He’s a rare man, and
I’m blessed for having found a second one in his type. “Of course
you don’t. That’s one of the reasons why I love you.”

“What are the others?” His expression
softens, and he tangles his fingers between mine.

“You’re very caring, for one thing.”

“Am I, now?”

I nod, smiling. “You don’t care about my
money.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say no if you wanted to buy
me a Ferrari for my birthday.” He pauses, then his expression gets
serious. “What else?”

“You’re my confidante, my best friend, my
safe haven.”