An Unlocked Heart(Collars & Cuffs Stories) (2 page)

Alex sighed unhappily. It had taken him long enough to cope with interacting with the
staff
, and there were still only a handful of people with whom he felt sufficiently comfortable to be able to carry on a conversation. But the customers? Alex knew he had a tendency to fumble and become awkward around strangers, which was bloody inconvenient when he happened to be handling dishes or, God forbid, the delicate wineglasses the restaurant used. So far, there hadn’t been any accidents, and he meant to keep it that way. Lord knew his paycheck wasn’t huge; he couldn’t afford to pay for breakages.

“Alex… today, please?”

Alex jumped as Sev’s request broke through his musings. Sev’s face bore an expression of patience and amusement. Alex gave his boss a sheepish glance and walked hurriedly to the kitchen door, pausing for a second to check that his uniform was presentable.

“You look great. Now get in there,” Sev hissed, giving him a playful shove.

Reluctantly, Alex slipped through the double doors and went toward Sev’s friend and guest, picking up two menus and the wine list as he passed by. The two men were seated in the armchairs nearest the bar, and Alex saw the younger of them look up as he approached. Alex got a momentary glimpse of blue eyes and a strong jawline before he hastily looked down.

“Gentlemen,” he began in a low voice, “if you would care to follow me to your table?” He waited, absolutely motionless, as they unfolded themselves from their seats. Christ, the younger bloke was tall! Alex was six feet, and this guy was at least three inches taller. He cast a surreptitious glance in their direction as he led the way across the floor of the restaurant to the corner booth. The older man looked to be in his fifties, with gray hair and green eyes, and there was a confident, self-assured air about him that reminded Alex strongly of the headmaster at his high school.

The younger man, he could see now, wasn’t much older than himself—maybe in his early thirties. Beneath the casual brown leather jacket and silk shirt in warm brown tones, Alex could see he was well built, with a muscular chest and well-defined torso. His dark brown hair was short and neat, swept back at the temples where the merest glint of silver gleamed.

Suddenly those blue eyes were on him, and Alex caught his breath. He dropped his gaze immediately, his heart hammering wildly. He stood back, almost stumbling in the process, to let the two men gain access to the corner table, and then waited until they had seated themselves comfortably. Placing the menus in their hands, Alex gave a tight, polite smile before attempting to flee to the relative safety of the kitchen. This guy unnerved him, and he didn’t have a fucking clue why.

The man extended a slim hand as if to touch him, and Alex pulled away, although he halted in his tracks. “I’d like to order a bottle of wine, please.”

The voice was firm, confident, and deep. Alex nodded, looking at the wine list, watching a slim finger move slowly down the page.

“A bottle of the Pinot Grigio, thank you.” Those blue eyes, almost glacial in mood, were on him once more, and Alex felt the weight of that careful scrutiny. He flashed the same tight smile before escaping to the kitchen. Once inside, he leaned for a moment, his back to the door. What the fuck? He couldn’t account for his reaction to the man, but he knew one thing for sure: someone else could take them their order. No way was he going out there again, not while those blue eyes were waiting for him. Alex had never felt so naked in another human being’s presence, and he didn’t like it. Not one bit.

L
EO
sipped his coffee, relishing the aroma as he closed the folder and placed it on the table next to him. “These look like a good batch,” he said, tapping the folder with his index finger. “Have you seen references for all of them?”

Thomas nodded. “Though it’s been a slow process. It seems we’re getting quite the reputation.” He grinned at Leo. “Didn’t I tell you?”

Leo laughed. “Okay, okay, so you were right. Happy now?” Leo certainly was. It didn’t seem like ten years had passed since the two of them had made the decision to open their own BDSM club, but it was a decision Leo had never regretted. Nowadays there was a constant stream of applications from Doms and subs wanting to swell their ranks, and all were vetted by Thomas, who made it his mission to make sure every man who walked through their doors had passed his rigorous admissions procedure with flying colors.

Leo leaned back into his seat, his eyes alighting once more on the young man who’d brought them to their table as he circulated through the restaurant, picking up dishes, clearing away glasses, and all without so much as a glance in their direction. If anything, the young man seemed to be making a concerted effort
not
to look over at them.
Interesting
. Leo’s gaze took in the lean frame, the brown hair with its thin streaks of blond spiked on top of his head. Catching sight of those clear blue eyes framed with thick dark lashes had been a hard task, since their owner seemed bound and determined not to reveal them, but Leo had always been tenacious, and he loved a challenge.

“Well, fuck me!”

The unexpected expletive, delivered in a low, drawn-out breath, had Leo looking up in surprise. Thomas was staring at him, his lips parted in an expression of shock.

“What?” Leo demanded, genuinely puzzled by his friend’s demeanor.

Thomas’s apparent shock gave way to a smile that spread with ease across his face.

“I’d given up all hope, I really had,” exclaimed Thomas, and it suddenly occurred to Leo that his partner seemed almost… joyful.

“What on earth are you talking about?” Leo didn’t mean to sound so exasperated, but he didn’t have a clue what was going on in Thomas’s mind.

Thomas smiled, a gentle, caring smile that transformed his entire face. “Do you have any idea when the last time was that you looked at a man the way you’re looking at that waiter?” Leo’s brow knitted. “Oh, come
on
, Leo. You haven’t taken your eyes off him!”

Leo opened his mouth to deny the allegation, but the retort died on his tongue. Thomas was right. He sat very still, his mind whirling. Had he been so long without desire he’d grown accustomed to its absence, hadn’t even noticed as it slipped quietly back into his life? And of course it was true. He’d hardly been able to keep his gaze from the young waiter all night, although Leo was at a loss to explain why. Those clear blue eyes, briefly glimpsed, maybe? Leo was surprised by his reaction to the nervous young man. What surprised him most, however, was the lack of self-recrimination. It didn’t feel as if he was betraying Gabe’s memory. His heart beat a little faster. Was it finally time to let Gabe go?

Two

A
LEX
let himself into the house as silently as he could, given it was past midnight. It had been a busy night, and he could do with a really long, hot shower, but the chance of there being any hot water left was slim. He crept past the door to the lounge, heading for the kitchen, and stiffened as he heard the door open.

“Thought I heard you come in.”

Alex stifled a groan as his mother emerged from the warmly lit room, carrying empty mugs. He forced a smile, anticipating the interrogation to come. Just for once, he would’ve liked to come home to find his mother had already gone to bed.

“How was work today?”

Alex pulled a face. “We were run off our feet all night. It never stopped.” He yawned, hoping she’d take the hint. No such luck.

“Were you going into the kitchen? I’m just tidying up the lounge before I go up. Your dad’s already in bed.”

Alex went into the kitchen, his mother right behind him. He filled the kettle and switched it on, reached into the cupboard for the box of green tea with vanilla and dropped the bag into a mug.

“Beats me how you can drink that stuff.” His mother shuddered. “Mind you, I don’t know how you can
eat
most of the things you do.”

Alex said nothing, refusing to enter once again into the familiar arguments about his eating habits. Just because he didn’t want to live on a diet of chips, pizza, and ready meals….

“Cat got your tongue?” his mother asked. “I swear, I can hardly get more than a sentence or two out of you since you got back from university.”

Alex sighed. “I’m just tired, Mum, that’s all.” He glanced at the clock on the wall. “And it
is
rather late.” She nodded grudgingly, and internally he heaved a sigh of relief.
Thank fuck.

“I’ll let you get off to bed, then, but don’t be on your laptop all night, keeping your brother awake. He has to get up early in the morning.” She paused. “Rob wanted to use your laptop earlier,” she added, “but he said he couldn’t get it to work. Something about a password.”

Alex seethed.
That fucking little
…. “What was he doing in my room anyway, Mum?” he said through gritted teeth.

“I dunno,” she exclaimed. “He just mentioned he couldn’t get it to work, that’s all.” She stared at him. “And what have you got in that room of yours that’s so blasted important? I tried to put clean washing into your wardrobe, only I couldn’t, could I? You’ve put a padlock on the handles.” His mother glared at him. “It’s a wardrobe, not a safe.”

“
Muuuum
!” Alex was barely able to keep his anger in check. “We’ve talked about this. I’ve told you, I’ll keep my room clean and tidy, I’ll take care of my own washing. After all, I’ve been doing it for four years at uni, so you don’t need to run around after me, putting my stuff away. And there’s nothing wrong with wanting a little privacy.”

It was the longest conversation he’d had with his mother in months. In the weeks since he’d finished his degree and returned home, it was as if he didn’t know his family anymore. They certainly didn’t know him, and he hated the constant need to hide things from them, unable to be himself. It was little wonder Alex was desperate to move out, as he felt himself crushed by the intense feelings of suffocation that assaulted him each time he stepped across the threshold. Thank God for Sev and his offer to make Alex virtually full time. The more time he spent away from the house, the better.

“I’m off to bed,” he muttered, giving his mother a perfunctory peck on the cheek. He stepped out of the kitchen and quietly climbed the stairs, carrying his mug of green tea. He sighed as he closed his bedroom door softly behind him.
Sanctuary
. Alex took off the faded denim jacket and hung it on the hook on the door before easing out of his shoes, groaning as he flexed his feet, which had been cramped in work shoes for the last twelve hours. Swiftly, he removed his black shirt, trousers, and socks and dropped them into the clothes hamper standing at the foot of his bed.

The door opened abruptly as Alex was removing his briefs, and he straightened, hurriedly reaching for his robe as his brother entered without knocking. Again. “Rob, what the fuck?” Alex pulled the robe tightly around him, glaring. Unfortunately, Rob wasn’t the most observant of souls, and the glare bounced off him with no effect whatsoever.

“You haven’t got anything I haven’t seen, bro,” Rob said with a smirk before he scanned the room, obviously looking for something.

“What do you want?” Alex gritted out, trying valiantly to keep his temper in check.

His eighteen-year-old brother grinned at him. “What’re you hiding in here anyway? You got a stash of girly mags you don’t want Mum to see, is that it?” He leered at Alex. “I’m right, aren’t I?”

Alex let out a sound of sheer exasperation. “Rob, it’s late, and I want a shower before going to bed. If there’s nothing you want, then please get out.”

Rob gave a noncommittal shrug. “Look, it’s no skin off my nose if you want to jack off with your mags, porn, whatever. I just wanted to borrow your laptop.”

Alex gave him a tight smile. “Sorry, but I’ve got e-mails to answer.”

Rob scowled. “You and your bloody e-mails, Facebook…. And why can’t I find you on Facebook, anyway?”

It was Alex’s turn to shrug, his eyes wide with innocence.

Rob gave a low whistle. “Oh, I
get
it now. You’ve got a secret identity or something, don’t you?”

Alex said nothing, but walked to the door and held it open. “Good night, Rob.”

Reluctantly, Rob shuffled out of the room, muttering under his breath something about stuck-up older brothers. Like Alex
gave
a shit. He closed the door firmly after him. For a moment, he thought about that shower, but there was no way he was leaving the bedroom right now, just in case he ran into Rob again. He pulled the robe around him and dropped down onto the bed, reaching for the laptop on his desk. It didn’t take long before he was connected, searching through the friends who were online. Thank God, Emily was there. He grabbed his mug of tea and sniffed appreciatively as he connected with Emily.

MaybeGay: You there?

EmmyBabe: Alex! How was work?

MaybeGay: Bloody long day. There was this one bloke, though….