Anal Pleasure and Health: A Guide for Men, Women and Couples (20 page)
Read Anal Pleasure and Health: A Guide for Men, Women and Couples Online
Authors: Jack Morin Ph.d.
Figure 5. Effects ofAngle of Entry on Rectal Insertion
Similarly, many women enjoy indirect stimulation of the innermost parts of the large clitoral body, especially when engorged and erect. Also in front of the rectum is the super-sensitive "perineal body" which occupies her perineum, between the base of her inner lips and anus. This might be a good time to take another look at the pelvic diagrams in Chapter 5.
Add to these ultra-sensitive areas the rich nerve supply we're already explored around the anal opening-as well as the many proprioceptive nerves embedded in all the nearby pelvic muscles, designed to register each twitch, contraction, and release-and it's easy to visualize why women and men can enjoy anal-rectum stimulation equally. Also when you think about it, so much is going on inside the bodies of both sexes that it's difficult to pinpoint where, exactly, a wonderful feeling might be coming from.
BEYOND THE RECTUM. When a penis or penis-sized object is inserted into the rectum, only the anal canal and rectum are involved. Penises or objects longer than 9 or 10 inches may pass beyond the rectum into the sigmoid (s-shaped) colon (shown in Figure 5). Sometimes this occurs without difficulty, because the muscles of the lower colon tend to relax at the same time as the anal and rectal muscles. There may, however, be some initial muscular resistance at the entrance to the colon.
The likelihood of encountering feces in the lower colon is greater than in the rectum. It is a natural function of the colon to collect feces until there is sufficient pressure to release the muscular "gateway," which then allows feces to enter the rectum in preparation for a BM. Those concerned about feces will want to think about the timings of their BMs, if they're predictable. The period following a BM will usually mean fewer feces in the colon and easier douching.
FISTING (HANDBALLING)
THE COLON is of particular interest to those experimenting with a form of anal-rectal stimulation popularly called fisting, fist-fucking, handballing or handball. This activity involves gradually relaxing the anal muscles until several fingers and eventually the whole hand, and occasionally even the forearm, can enter the rectum and colon. The term fisting is a misnomer because practitioners rarely enter a partner's rectum with a closed fist, but rather with the fingers and thumb outstretched with the tips held closely together, allowing the fingers to be used gently as probes. This configuration is sometimes called the "silent duck" (don't ask why). Once the fingers are inside the rectum-usually a slow process to get this far-the inserter can move his or her fingers around to learn what the receiver enjoys.
Some advanced receivers enjoy the feeling of two hands held together with outstretched fingers. Often this is as far as handballing goes. But some enthusiasts learn to relax their anal and rectal muscles to such a degree that the knuckles can also enter the rectum. Once the widest part of the hand(s) are past the anal sphincters, handballing can proceed into the rectum, and perhaps the colon too, as deeply as the receiver wishes.
The awareness, gentleness, and trust recommended for all anal exploration are doubly important for safe experimentation with fisting. Those who wish to explore handballing-as givers or receivers-will find the exercises and information in this book useful, but additional knowledge and guidance is required to do it safely. Books and websites are helpful, but finding an experienced and sensitive mentor can be invaluable. You can also see video clips of fisting online.**
I was disturbed by one of the clips with a fister repeatedly plunging his full fist into a receiver. This is incredibly self-destructive and dangerous. Don't ever do it this way!
Fisting first gained notoriety in the 1970s, among gay men. These days some men and women of all sexual orientations are experimenting with anal handballing, and some women enjoy receiving vaginal handballing as well (Addington, 1998). In actuality, relatively few people are able to relax sufficiently to accommodate something as large as an entire hand. Those who do enjoy it sometimes become devoted enthusiasts. Receivers report deeply satisfying sensations of fullness and pressure and often describe it as the ultimate experience of receptivity. They frequently mention the pleasure of total surrender, trust, openness, and being the object of lavish and extended attention.
Those who do the fisting also mention the extraordinary trust involved, along with a unique sense of control as their partners let go of all resistance. Some also say that having total responsibility for another's well-being can be a profound emotional experience. I've noticed that fisters usually don't seem quite as wildly enthusiastic about it as some of the receivers, although some are highly stimulated by exploring deep inside their partner's body.
Accommodating several fingers or a hand in the rectum and possibly the colon requires tremendous self-awareness, relaxation and trust. Some describe the experience as a form of meditation or spiritual odyssey. A handballing session takes time (several hours isn't unusual), gentleness and patience; it's definitely not a quickie.
Unfortunately, many fisting enthusiasts haven't developed the sensitivity and self-awareness necessary for doing it safely. Instead, they rely on shortcuts, such as large doses of drugs to block out the pain. Like other forms of rectal stimulation, fisting can be quite dangerous when attempted with drugs or force, or without being thoroughly attuned with oneself.
Very little research has been done on either the positive or negative effects of fisting. One investigator (Lowry, 1981) collected questionnaires from 102 males involved in fisting. The average respondent had been active for nearly four years, with 40% participating at least once a week. Thirty-seven percent were inserters most often, while 18% were usually receivers. Forty-five percent experienced both roles equally. Twenty-four percent had even received two hands simultaneously.
Three of the men reported bowel perforations from fisting, requiring hospitalization. Extrapolating from his findings, the investigator speculated that there may be one serious injury per 2,000 fisting episodes. Eighty-five percent described their fisting experiences in extremely positive terms. A few of the men mentioned that fisting seemed to improve their anal health by promoting deep relaxation.
The arrival of AIDS on the scene has required a re-evaluation of all sexual activities and how to make them as safe as possible. When it comes to preventing HIV transmission, the main concern with fisting is its potential for causing abrasions in rectal tissue which may provide an entry point for HIV into the blood stream. Fisting recipients should take great care not to expose their rectal tissue to semen or blood, and similar care is necessary for fisters because of the likelihood of tiny scrapes on the hand. This is why using gloves is so essential. Fisting and anal intercourse should never be practiced during the same session. In fact, it's a smart idea to let the rectum rest for at least several days following a fisting session.
Since most readers, while perhaps curious about fisting, are probably not planning to try it themselves, none of the experiential suggestions throughout this book specifically refers to fisting. However, anyone who might want to experiment with handballing should devote plenty of time to self-exploration, using the same step-by-step approach to anal-rectal exploration proposed in this book.
INTRODUCTION TO BUTT PLUGS
FOR THIS EXPERIENCE, we're going to use a reasonably-sized object to explore the shape and pleasure potentials of the rectum. Some people have a fascination with tales of strange items stuck inside a person's rectum, necessitating an embarrassing trip to the emergency room. The medical literature is sprinkled with descriptions of these odd cases going back to the 1930s, and the techniques used to remove the offending object-including such items as a soda bottle, flashlight, baseball, and even a light bulb (ouch!). There seem to be far fewer such cases in the current literature. Let's hope this is because anal play has become less hidden and taboo, and some basic information has seeped into public consciousness.
You can eliminate even the slight possibility of such an occurrence by exclusively using sex toys with a base for rectal insertion, which is what I strongly recommend. Most dildos have such a base (or balls), but the fact that they're widest at the tip makes them far from ideal for rectal exploration. "Butt plugs" are specifically designed for this purpose. They generally look like this:
Figure 6 Basic Design of a Butt Plug.
As you can see, the butt plug's base won't allow it to slip inside. Also notice the smaller, rounded tip for easier insertion. The "shaft" of the plug gets wider the further in you go. Finally, the indentation near the base allows your anal sphincter muscles to help hold it in place, although random rectal contraction may still tend to push in out. Some like the sensations of leaving it inside for a while, usually a more advanced option to explore down the road.
Butt plugs are readily available at all sex toy shops in a variety of lengths and proportions (from thin to thick). Some plug designs are curved, or include a finger-like protrusion intended to provide prostate ("male G-spot") stimulation for a man, or G-spot ("female prostate") stimulation for a woman when used vaginally. Most plugs are flexible and soft (which is good) unless they're made of metal, Lucite or heavy glass (no danger of breakage), in which case they're smooth and hard. Some plugs are almost works of art, as beautiful as they are functional.
I suggest that you go on a butt plug shopping expedition, perhaps with a friend or partner. Consider the smaller end of the size spectrum if you're just starting out. A seemingly endless variety of styles can be found in the websites I recommend in the References & Resources section. Some have excellent shopping guides as well. Internet toy shops are a good way to explore options, but if you have a sex toy boutique in your area, go see some plugs in person. This way you can feel their texture and flexibility, as well as how the base feels in your hand. It should be comfortable to hold with your hand and move around with your fingers. Less important, but by no means irrelevant, you'll want to pick a color you like and won't grow weary of over time.
As an added bonus, you can ask for advice about the best lube choices for the type of plug you're considering. While you're there, survey the other sex toys available, as well the many books of erotic stories, fantasies, and photographs. I've heard many people say this kind of outing can be liberating, with just a hint of naughty fun.
I strongly suggest that you select a butt plug model made of high-quality silicone. These are pliable, long-lasting, and non-porous. Therefore, they're exceptionally easy to clean and care for. You can boil them in water, toss them in the dishwasher, wash them thoroughly with antibacterial soap, or cover them with a condom. You can tie the comdom into a knot at the base of the plug so it won't slip off. Use any type of lube you want, except those made with silicone. If you're using a latex condom, on the other hand, avoid oils, but silicone will work fine.