Arizona Allspice (60 page)

******

As always, the temperature at the lake is perfect. Joey decided that it was a good day for a swim. I agreed but I have reason to believe this is only a plot to see me half naked. The wildflowers have blanketed most of the area so it takes a few minutes to find a patch of grass. To Joey’s amusement, I insist we find a clearing so as not to crush the flowers with our picnic basket. The ground was bursting with color: yellow, red, violet, pink, orange and cream flowers, each of them with the red soil as their backdrop. Joey’s copper hair fit right in. It had grown back after two months, but he cut it short on me. I made a mistake and told him that he looked more mature with shorter hair, manlier you could say, and now I’m afraid I’ll never again see him with those gorgeous curls again. I suppose I have a few tricks I could use to change his mind.

I sigh, taking in the perfection of the view. With all this natural beauty around me, I start to feel more and more self-conscious. I watch Joey pull his shirt off with ease and I frown. He’s got the perfect body. He stands there, waiting for me to take off my jeans and shirt in the broad daylight which hides nothing.

Nothing
.

“I’m a little pudgy in the midsection area,” I circle my pointer finger above my clothed stomach.

Joey chuckles. “No you’re
not.
And even if you were, I wouldn’t care.”

“But you work out and stuff and compared to yours my body’s not toned, and”

“Elaine, stop. I love you. I’ll meet you in the water, my Allspice Aphrodite.” He smirks. He can tell that I’m blushing. Out into the water he goes. He splashes his head underneath like a seal and then resurfaces, blinking the water out of his eyes with a grin on his face. “Come on! It feels great!”

I am being so stupid right now. What am I going to do? Hide from him for the rest of my life?

******

As I wade around in the lake, I watch Elaine staring down at her toes in thought. Elaine can be shy once in a while. It floors me every time. I’m not used to seeing her unconfident. It’s the other way around for me. I used to be self-conscious but now I don’t care because I know she loves me. I think maybe Laney believes if I see what she
thinks
are physical flaws then I’ll pack up and leave. That’s just silly. I look down at my own
pecs
and abs. I don’t want her body to be like mine! I want her to be her; feminine, curvy and soft. Hasn’t she noticed that I can’t keep my hands off of her?

I swim further out into the water, deciding to give her some space. I practice my breaststroke. I even do a little doggy paddling and then slowly swim closer to the shore. Elaine’s sporting a neon green bikini, a color that pops against her dark skin. There is nothing about her body that I don’t like.
Nothing.
I almost drown a couple times, forgetting to keep my legs and arms moving to ensure that my nose stays above water. There on her chest, brushed along her breasts, are freckles. She hadn’t been messing with me. She really does have freckles! There’s so much beautiful skin to look at all at once! If I love her skin, is that self-hatred? I was born pigment challenged and it is shameful. Elaine doesn’t seem to mind my paleness, though. I swim a circle around her legs to see her from all angles as she stands in the water. Front, side, back, side, front again.

“What am I? Some filet mignon?”

I shake my head.
“Tastier than that.”

******

I roll my eyes, but on the inside I’m ecstatic. The parts of my body that I feel are too wide, or too dark, or not flat enough, or not big enough don’t even seem to register in Joey’s mind. Joey’s “flaws” don’t register in my mind either. What he thinks of as freckled and freakishly fair, I see as creamy cappuccino foam sprinkled with cinnamon. It’s a fact that he’s not pale at all. He has a tan, but he doesn’t acknowledge that. He doesn’t think he’s dark enough, I guess.

Joey was right. The water feels really nice. It’s warmer than I expected, but still cool. The low temperature makes us draw closer to one another for warmth and we’re both slippery and wet. Yes. It feels
great
in the water. After a lengthy make-out session, I swim out of Joey’s eager hands. I’m a good swimmer, better than Joey, so I make it to the other side of the lake in less than a minute. “Come over here!” I smile and wave my arms. He chuckles and splashes his way towards me. I slip under the water while he’s blinded, while he’s squeezing the water out of his eyes. I stealthily glide deeper into the water. My stomach almost touches the lakebed. I feel like that shark from the
Jaws
movie. I’m sneaking up on two white legs glowing in the dark water. I hear Joey’s distorted voice calling my name. I slither through the water to get in front of him. I take in a mouthful of water, shoot up out of the lake and spit the contents of my mouth directly into his stunned face.

I laugh loudly. “I’ve been holding out for that prank for two months! Since the day you faked your legs were giving out.” I laugh heartily, clutching my stomach.

 Joey wags his dripping head and smiles. Then the smile turns into an evil smirk. He narrows his eyes. “Tickle fight.”

“No!” I gasp and turn to swim away, but he circles my waist from behind with his strong arms before I can escape. He gets one hand free to tickle at my ribcage. I laugh and struggle so hard that I feel my bikini top starting to loosen. “Joey, stop! I need to fix my bathing suit before it falls off!” He tickles harder. “Joseph Kinsley!” I say as sternly as a person can while giggling. He stops and I catch my breath as he hugs me to his chest. Our breathing synchronizes as we stand in silence, pressed against each other, gazing across the lake and the desert. A sensation of the sweetest déjà vu falls over me. It is as if I had forgotten an incredible dream, but now I remember it because I realize I’m
living
it right now. I smile to myself and blink away tears.

“You
ever seen
those ballet dancers on TV?” Joey asks softly.

“Yeah.
Why?” 

“When I was really little I saw those male dancers lifting the ballerinas up in the air I figured they must be boyfriend and girlfriend. Why else would a girl let a guy throw her up in the air like that without
screamin
’ her head off?”

“That’s cute,” I chuckle.

I feel Joey shrug behind me. “I was five. I also figured that he got his girlfriend because he was so strong. Strong enough to hold her up like that. A part of me still thinks I should be able to do that. For some reason, I can’t get the thought out of my head. I know it’s silly but, um, I really want to do that with you.”

I turn around in his arms to face him. “I’m willing to try.
Sounds scary, though.”

“I know. What if I’m not strong enough and I let you fall?” Joey frowns. Shyly, he looks away. “I don’t even know why I brought this up. It’s stupid. You don’t have to do it.”

“No! It’s not stupid. It’ll be fun. Plus, there’s lots of water here to break our fall,” I snicker.

“Okay,” he smiles, nervous and excited. I take his hands and place them on my hips. He digs his feet firmly into the ground and gets a firm grip on each side of me. My heart starts racing. I stand on my tiptoes ready to spring myself out of the water. He gives me a peck on the cheek before starting the countdown. “Three, two, one…” and then I push off the bottom of the lake with my eyes clenched shut. I hear Joey let out a grunt as he balances me with trembling arms, but then his arms eventually stop shaking. I open my eyes and I’m up in the air. I put my arms out in front of me like I’m Superwoman.

“You’re doing it!” I cry from up here.

“I’m doing it!” he laughs down there. Slowly, he turns in a circle so that I rotate, getting an elevated view of our surroundings. “I am a man! This is my woman!” Joey announces in humorous triumph. His arms tired, he brings me back down as slowly as he can and I land on my feet with a splash. “Thanks for trusting me,” he says with a handsome smile. Beat from horsing around all afternoon, we make our soggy way to the bank, have our picnic, and lie out in the sun to dry and recharge, just to run back into the lake for more.

******

 “If we have a little girl with my hair, and something happened to me and you had to take care of her on your own, you’ll have to know how to do her hair yourself,” Elaine reasons.

It had taken her an entire hour to blow dry it and then straighten it. It was interesting to watch, but I had no desire to take part in all that work. Come to find out, she
still
wasn’t done yet! “You’re just trying to get out of doing it yourself,” I counter.

 “Precisely,” she nods and drops the rat-tail comb and jar of hair grease into my reluctant hands. “Sit on the couch,” she orders me. I sit down and she plops down on the floor in between my legs. She must know I have no idea what I’m doing. I stare at the back of her head defiantly until she turns around.

She sighs in exasperation. “Okay, I guess you need a tutorial.” She shows me how to part her hair and how much of the grease I’m supposed to dab onto her scalp. Once I get the hang of it, I sort of enjoy it. I even start to imagine doing this for my own daughter one day and for once the thought of being a father doesn’t make me nauseous. Elaine rests her head on my thigh as I complete the task. Even though we had spent a long day at the lake, it still surprises me when I find that she’s fallen asleep. I watch her quiet slumber and smile to myself. Not wanting to disturb her, I turn the television on with the volume down low and let her sleep.

A little later, Manny walks into the house, slamming the screened door behind him, which causes Elaine to finally stir and wake up. Manny sees us in the living room and freezes.

“What?” She grumbles drowsily, seeing Manny’s facial expression.

“Um, I’m not gonna ask why my sister’s head was in your lap.”

My jaw drops. I point to the grease. “I was”

He holds up his hand. “I’m not gonna ask,” he repeats and stifles his laughter.

“Manny!” Elaine shrieks, flabbergasted. Manny starts cackling. Elaine flings the comb at her brother’s head. Thankfully, Manny didn’t duck fast enough.
Ha!

******

 “I have a surprise for you, after the game.”

“You do?” I grin and raise an eyebrow. Coincidentally, Manny said he had some news to give me after the game as well. “You mean winning the finals, right?”

He shakes his head. “No, but I will give you that, too.”

I squeeze his hand. “I know you will.”

He kisses my hand. “For good luck,” he smiles and then jogs out onto the field. The number five is emblazoned on the back of his red soccer jersey which flutters some at his waist as he runs. His shoulders and chest help the jersey fit snug at the top. White soccer shorts that stop mid-thigh show off his powerful legs that propel him to the middle of the field.  He reaches down and adjusts his high red soccer socks and then gathers his team together for a pep talk before the game. This is
the
game; the one game that they’ve shed blood and tears for, the one that could forever name them champions. It wasn’t a surprise that they were going up against Raul’s old team, La
Tormenta
. Even though the members of the team had a bad reputation around town, they had an excellent reputation on the field. But, as they say, may the best man win. And he will.

I twirl my open blue parasol as it rests against my shoulder and find my lawn chair amongst the rest of Joey’s supporters.