Arrhythmia (21 page)

That reminded me that I hadn’t heard from Desiderio all day, which was understandable since he had to work. Still, I was beginning to get anxious. His last text message had arrived just after midnight. He had written that he was standing in front of my picture and that he missed me terribly. I had suggested that he take it to bed with him, and he had claimed that he had done that. He was probably just teasing, but the idea still made me laugh. We had wished each other a good night and that was it. Since then, nothing.

It was incredible how much I missed him! It is really astounding how quickly you can get used to a person’s presence.

While I was having these thoughts, my phone rang and, amazingly enough, it was actually Desiderio.

I answered with a delighted: “Hiii!”

“Hello, little warrioress. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to call, but the ER has been a madhouse. The waiting room has been filled to capacity since this morning, but I just couldn’t stand it anymore. The little boo-boos will have to wait; I just had to hear your voice.”

His voice was sweeter than honey, and I sank back into my cushions, completely entranced.

“I miss you,” I breathed.

“I miss you too, very much.”

“What if I just come over, set off the fire alarm, and kidnap you?”

“That would be very exciting, but I don’t want you to land in jail because of me!” He laughed.

“What, you don’t go in for jailbirds?”

“Hm. I suppose I’d like you even with the striped look, but I’m a little turned off by the iron bars on the windows. They always feel so cold.”

“I see.” I looked at the rose bouquet adorning my dining table. I could smell its fragrance from here. It seemed full of reproach.

“By the way, I talked to Frank,” I told Desiderio airily, as though it were a minor matter. “You were right, unfortunately, but I straightened it out.”

“Oh. Are you all right?”

“Me? Of course. I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be? I’m not the one with the broken heart. For once, I’m on the other side. A totally new feeling.” I laughed dryly and without humor.

Desiderio was silent for a while before he softly said, “I’m really sorry, Lena.”

“You don’t have to be. It really doesn’t concern you.”

“What concerns you concerns me too, effective immediately, my love.”

Pardon me?

I opened my eyes wide and almost dropped my cell phone from shock.

OK, this one sentence was a clear indication of a serious relationship. I had to acknowledge it. I had to show him that was what I wanted as well. Surely he was waiting to hear that.

All right, then say something!!!

But what?

“I’m glad,” I forced myself to say.

What? I am such a giant moron . . . just impossible!

“Me too,” was Desiderio’s reply.

He sounded amused. I hoped he had understood what I had tried to say. I bit my tongue to prevent myself from spouting even more nonsense.

“I’m sorry, but I have to get back to work. You have the early shift, right? Then we’ll see each other after rounds. I can hardly wait to see you, even if it’s only for a little while!”

“Yes, I feel the same way.”

“Well then, my little warrioress, have yourself a lovely evening and dream of me!”

“I will,” I whispered, although he had already ended the call and the phone was silent. “I most certainly will dream of you,
my love
.”

Chapter 25

Monday morning was windy and rainy. A textbook cold fall day. Even though I’d had another sleepless night, I skipped into the ER in an unusually good mood that stood in stark contrast to the awful weather.

Frank was the reason for my insomnia this time. Vera had sent me a late text message telling me that, so far, Frank was doing well and that she was sure things would go back to normal in no time. Although my hands were tied where the matter was concerned, I agonized over whether Vera’s confidence was well founded or whether there was something I should have done differently.

Because of Desiderio, though, I swept into work on top of the world. For reassurance, all night long, I had buried my nose in the spot where he’d slept. I had breathed in his scent, which lingered faintly in the sheets. I couldn’t care less if I looked like a crazy glue sniffer. If it was possible to become addicted to a smell, then I was a junkie. And I was OK with that.

As I floated through the ER, full of anticipation, I peered into every room to see if I could find him. He was nowhere. I knew, of course, that the team of doctors started each day with rounds and conferences. Still, I was a little disappointed.

In the nurses’ kitchen, my colleagues greeted me as though I’d just returned from a war zone. Sandra had done solid work, and news of the attack had reached the outer corners of the hospital. That had been part of my plan, but I was frustrated to find that the initial excitement still hadn’t subsided.

Although the hematoma on my cheek was nothing more than a shadow by now, they all reacted to it with such dismay that I intermittently checked my face in the mirror, worried the shiner had reappeared in all its glory. That wasn’t the case, thank goodness, and I began to find the fuss my coworkers were making really silly.

“Are you sure you’re ready to be back?” Sandra asked me for the fourth time after examining the laceration on my arm.

All right, enough already!

I rolled my eyes and firmly set my Dieter cup on the table.

“Sandra,” I began, “I’m fine. Besides, I’m going stir-crazy at home, just hanging around. A normal workday is going to do wonders for me.”

This explanation seemed to make sense to her, and she gave up. At least, she confined herself to pitying looks, which I studiously ignored. The chocolate croissant she pushed in my direction eased my irritation. Bribery was acceptable.

A little while later, the first doctors scurried through the ER, but no matter how much I craned my neck, there was no sight of Desiderio. Had he gone home? But he had told me that we would see each other! What if he’d forgotten?

Oh come on, he’ll be here . . .

My confidence dwindled all morning and, as we took over more and more of the work in the ER, I was feeling increasingly devastated. I chastised myself for overreacting and yet, with every passing minute, my shoulders hung lower and lower.

I was shuffling dejectedly past the doctors’ lounge when someone grabbed my right arm and pulled me inside. I uttered a startled cry that was quickly stifled by a gentle kiss.

“Good morning,” Desiderio whispered after releasing me.

He beamed at me with his blue eyes and tenderly played with a strand of hair that had come loose from my braid. I leaned against the wall and looked up at him with fascination.

It continued to be a mystery to me how this man could have such an effect on my body. His charisma enveloped me like an aura, and the promising smile on his lips set my knees trembling.

It took some effort for me to speak again.

“I was beginning to think you’d gone home,” I said softly. I placed my shaking hands on his chest to assure myself that he really was standing in front of me and wasn’t a figment of my imagination. Only when I could feel his calm breathing and the beat of his heart was I entirely sure that I wasn’t dreaming.

“How could I have left without seeing you? I’ve been waiting for you all night, my love.”

There it was again.

My love . . .

I couldn’t find the right words, so I just kissed him. He responded by pushing hungrily against me. That was good because wedged between his body and the wall, I couldn’t fall over as my legs completed their transformation into Jell-O.

For a moment, we both forgot where we were. I didn’t even know my own name, so loving and passionate were his kisses. We only let go of each other when we heard Reinmann’s irritated voice through the closed door.

In fact, we jumped away from each other in fear that the attending physician was about to barge in.

But he didn’t. Thank God, because our flushed faces spoke volumes. Even Reinmann would have known without a doubt what had just taken place.

Desiderio and I had thus far come to a tacit agreement that no one at the hospital was to know about our affair. At least not for now. And I was relieved somehow.

I sheepishly fixed my top and pushed the hair off my forehead. “Phew!”

“I would suggest that we continue later,” he said with a grin.

“Yes, I guess that would be best.”

“Will you come by after work?”

“I’d love to.”

The thought of all the things we could get up to at his place made me break into a sweat.

“Do you still have my address?” he asked.

“Hm, I think so,” I said slowly, although I knew darn well I still had it. His handwritten note was safely stored in my nightstand. I was no romantic, but I would never have thrown away that letter. Besides, I’d read it so many times now that I knew his address by heart.

“OK. I’m looking forward to it.” He bopped my nose with his finger and slipped out the door.

What? No good-bye kiss?

Maybe it was just as well, because if he had kissed me like that again, I would have had to tear off his clothes.

I waited a moment before floating out of the room with a tingling in my tummy and an ecstatic grin on my face.

Work presented a challenge for me. I had difficulty concentrating and looked more at my watch than at my patients. True to form, Sandra misunderstood my behavior and asked me almost hourly if I was feeling well.

When, around lunchtime, she mentioned something about me talking to a chaplain, I grabbed a few blood samples and fled to the lab. Although it wasn’t my habit to dawdle, I took my time getting there that day. My gait might even have been described as a stroll.

Since I was walking so slowly, I picked up a conversation between stupid Steffi and a coworker I didn’t know. They were standing around the corner from the lab, probably in front of the vending machine. Normally, I had no interest in what that plastic bitch had to say, but when a certain name was mentioned, I automatically stopped in my tracks and pricked up my ears.

“How are things going with DiCastello?” asked the unknown nurse.

Steffi giggled. “Oh my gosh, I have to tell you: I saw him on Saturday . . .”

“Really? And? Did anything, you know, happen?” the other silly cow was eager to know.

I held my breath.

“Not yet,” Steffi said, lowering her voice to a conspiratorial tone, “but you wouldn’t believe how hard we flirted!”

No, you wouldn’t believe it!

I certainly couldn’t. They flirted on Saturday? But hadn’t he been at that birthday party? My fingers tensed up and threatened to crush the blood samples.

The two bitches were oblivious to my crisis, and Steffi went on in a sweet voice: “He’s so charming! I just can’t wait to hook up with him.”

“You two would make a great couple,” the unknown nurse fawned.

The vials in my hand made precarious clicking noises.

“Yeah, we’re totally perfect for each other. There’s a real sizzle between us. Yesterday, after my late shift, I went to see him in the ER. We had coffee together and he was excited to see me, I could tell.”

Coffee. Together. Yesterday?

He could barely make time for a three-minute phone conversation with me yesterday because he was crazy busy, and yet he took the time to have coffee with this silly cow???

And what was that about this “sizzle”?

My head was spinning, and I had simultaneous hot and cold shivers down my back.

He hadn’t been at any birthday party on Saturday. He had met Steffi and had beguiled her.

I opened my fist and stared at the vials. I took only peripheral notice of the fact that the plastic bitch and her friend walked past me.

Had Desiderio moved on to the next victim of his irresistible-charm games? Would I turn out to be right in my original assessment of his character?

Only we hadn’t had sex yet, so he hadn’t reached his goal, as it were, which made that theory a little less plausible.

It was that fact alone that saved my heart from bursting on the spot. Steffi’s words confused me so much that I suddenly didn’t feel anything. I wasn’t disappointed or angry or anything. I just wanted to know if there was anything to her story. I had to confront Desiderio before I exploded.

For the last few hours of my shift, I worked mechanically, like a robot. My patients found my vacant expression unsettling, but I couldn’t bring myself to care.

Only when I was parking my Ford in front of a big house in the neighborhood generally referred to as the ritzy part of town did a very uneasy feeling take hold of me.

I got scared.

Scared that Desiderio had played me for a fool.

Scared that I had made another huge mistake.

I walked slowly toward the impressive single-family home. The front yard was well manicured, and I wondered who took care of the lawn. Presumably he had a gardener. There were stacks of bags of lime plaster next to the inviting front door. I remembered Desiderio mentioning that he was redecorating.

I thought back to the scintillating scene in front of the home-improvement center.

The shivers I was experiencing were not necessarily related to the chilly weather. I pressed the entrance buzzer with trembling fingers. It sounded, and I opened the door.

Desiderio was nowhere to be seen. I hesitantly stepped into the wide hallway. There were tools and renovation materials lying around everywhere.

I was feeling all dressed up with nowhere to go when I heard Desiderio’s voice coming from the second floor. “Lena?”

“Yes?”

Who else was he expecting? Plastic Steffi?

“Hey, I’ll be right with you. Just come in and make yourself comfortable anywhere!”

Although I felt rather uncomfortable in the large, strange house, I complied and quietly closed the door behind me. Feeling like an intruder, I entered the very first room I saw.

It was the dining room. Large, bright, and with very elegant furnishings. There was a smell of new furniture and fresh wall paint. I looked around curiously and spotted a gorgeous open fireplace. Above it hung
The Woman by the Window
.

I studied the drawing with mixed feelings. It felt both strange and familiar, as if it was a part of me.

“Wow, right now you look exactly the way you do in the picture,” I suddenly heard Desiderio say behind me.

Startled, I turned around. Had he flown down the stairs or what?

“Just as beautiful,” he said lovingly and came up to me.

I quickly crossed my arms and backed away from him with an icy look.

“Where were you on Saturday?” I asked with a flat voice.

Desiderio stopped in astonishment. “At the birthday party. You know that.”

“I see. And Steffi was invited as well?”

“What? No, we—”

I interrupted him gruffly. “Then how come you
flirted
with her last Saturday?”

“Flirted?” He wrinkled his brow. Then he groaned as he began to understand. “Oh my God, is that what she said?”

I dispensed with an answer and merely looked at him with disdain.

“Lena, surely you don’t believe that?”

“Right now, I don’t really know what to believe,” I snapped at him.

Desiderio ran his fingers through his hair. “OK, listen. The party was at The Goose. Much to my dismay, Steffi showed up late in the evening. What she describes as flirting was nothing more than her talking my ear off when I just wanted to hang out with my friends. You know how aggressive she is. Since I couldn’t get rid of her, I gave up and drove home.”

“Really, and then ‘much to your dismay,’ you had to have coffee with her the following day?”

“What kind of crap has she been telling you? I saw her for, like, a minute yesterday when she came over to the ER again with some letters that needed a doctor’s signature. And at the time, I had a cup of coffee in my hand, but that’s it.”

By now, his voice had grown loud, and I showed my disapproval by raising one eyebrow.

“If that’s all there was, why are you getting so upset?”

“Why am I getting . . . Jesus, Lena! You come here and accuse me of some bullshit that some obnoxious woman is spreading, and you’re surprised when I get upset? I had hoped that you trusted me by now, but it seems I was mistaken,” he exclaimed bitterly.

Is he turning the tables on me now?

His disappointed look was succeeding in making me regret my accusation. It completely threw me for a loop. I avoided his eyes and nervously played with my key chain, even though the jingling was getting on my nerves. Desiderio watched and waited for me to say something.

“I’m sorry,” I said eventually.

He came over to me and held my hands tightly. The sudden silence was almost disquieting.

“I cannot understand how you can consider a bimbo like that serious competition,” he said calmly. “She’s not remotely in your league and, even if she were, I wouldn’t care. For me, there is only one person and that is you.”

His words hit their mark. Desiderio knew exactly how to make me melt—it was so annoying. And still I allowed it to happen. I couldn’t help it. And although I knew it would put me over the top, I raised my head. Instantly, his eyes captured me and made me forget all my suspicions.

This damn Italian has you completely in his control, Lena!

Oh, he did indeed.

The feeling was at once frightening and exciting.