As Tears Go By (21 page)

His
fingers brushed down her cheek, but something held his words back. There was
something in his gaze that had her heart beating rapidly.

She
loved him. She loved him and wanted to tell him, but this wasn’t the right
time.

Rather,
she leaned forward and focused on the task at hand. Her lips closed over warm
flesh and he went up on his toes, his fingers tunneling through her hair and
pulling her close.

She
never enjoyed doing this before Braydon came along. He made it pleasurable for
both of them. Perhaps it was the gentle yet possessive way he handled her. Or
perhaps it had more to do with how attractive she found his endless kindness
and patience. Either way, she loved touching him like this.

Taking
him deep in her mouth, he whispered her name. “Oh, sweet Becca…”

They
didn’t have much time before someone came looking for them, so she made quick
work of bringing him to climax. His grip tightened in her hair as her mouth
quickly worked over his flesh.

Sometimes
Braydon seemed submissive in bed, always asking permission before he laid a
hand on her, but other times his actions spoke of great control and hints of
dominance. They were still learning each other and she liked discovering
varying sides to his sexuality. He helped her find new sides of herself as
well.

When
she finished him, there was something languid in the air between them. This
weekend would surely take their relationship deeper, but she wasn’t sure how
deep either of them was prepared to go.

* * * *

“Frank!”

Sheilagh
rolled her eyes as her mother yelled. “He’s watching the game with Alec, Mum.”

“I need
to run to town. I’m out of flour for the dumplings. Any of you girls want to
take a ride with me?”

Carla
and Nikki, who were slicing carrots at the table, perked up. “Sure.”

“Good.”
Her mother grabbed a set of keys off the hook. “Sheilagh, tell your father I’ll
be back in a few minutes. Don’t let him touch the soup.”

“You
got it,” she said as she finished up the carrots.

The
moment they left Sheilagh breathed a sigh of relief. It was strange, since
living alone with Alec she’d come to appreciate life’s moments of
stillness—which didn’t exist in the big house. Carrying the carrots to the
large pot on the stove, she dropped them in.

“Mum?”
The side door opened and she tensed at the sound of Luke’s voice. “Oh. Where’s
Mum?”

Still
unable to meet her brother Luke’s gaze head on, she busied herself with picking
the chicken off the bone. “She ran into town to get flour for the dumplings.”

“Oh. I,
uh, needed to see if she has any chocolate chips. Tristan’s attempting
brownies.”

It
still gave her pause, hearing Luke mention Tristan with open affection. She
rummaged through the pantry for chocolate chips. “Tristan bakes?”

“Yeah.
It’s his new passion, but he’s not too good at it, so brace yourself.”

She
laughed, because it seemed polite.
Where the hell are the chocolate chips?
Her mind reached for sounds of Alec in the next room, drawing strength from his
nearness.

She
didn’t know if she’d ever be comfortable in Luke’s presence again. It had been
a long time since their big fight, and a lot had changed. But, because she no
longer lived on the mountain, she never truly felt they got the closure they
deserved. Maybe she didn’t deserve closure in his eyes.

It also
had a lot to do with her being too afraid to face him. She loved Luke, but he
had the ability to pulverize her on an emotional level and send her to a dark
place she no longer wanted to visit.

“Here
they are.” She turned and came to an abrupt halt when she found her brother
right behind her. “What are you doing?”

He
looked at her for a long time without saying a word. Awkwardly, she glanced to
the stove. The soup was fine, but she wished it wasn’t so that she could get
away. “Luke, I have to check on the soup. Here.” She held out the chips, but he
brushed them aside.

“I love
you, Sheilagh. I don’t want it to be weird between us anymore.”

Her
chest tightened and she desperately wished for Alec to come and rescue her. She
didn’t do situations like this well, especially on her own. “I love you too,
dork. Now, let me check the soup.”

“No.
The soup’s fine. I need to say this.”

“Luke—”

“Just
listen to me for a second.” He drew in a long breath. “I was awful to you. I was
wrong. You were a kid and I had so many problems. I hated everyone around me,
but I hated myself most. The things I said to you, they weren’t right and they
weren’t true. You’re a good sister and when I see you with Finn and Bray and
the others, I get so angry with myself, because I damaged that. I want my
sister back.”

The
pain in her chest doubled as her throat constricted and her vision blurred. “I
can’t do this.” She pushed past him, but he caught her arm, surprising her by
forcing her into a firm hug.

His
cheek pressed to the top of her head. “Yes, you can. I’m not going to fight
with you anymore. I promise. I’m so sorry, Devil.
For
everything.
I love you.”

Too
many emotions caused her will to collapse. A hiccupped sob escaped her throat
and her arms tightened around the bulk of his body. How long she had waited to
hear his apology. He might be the one asking for forgiveness, but to her
thinking, that testified to him forgiving her as well. “I love you too, Luke.”

Her
face pressed into his shirt, where she could scent traces of Tristan’s cologne.
“I’m sorry, Luke. I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry for what I did. I’m sorry
for judging you. And most of all I’m sorry for not having the courage to face
you when you needed your family most.” She had so much regret from the summer
before last when her brother was nearly killed and laid up in a hospital bed.

She’d
been hysterical and distraught, wanting to go to him, but too afraid her
presence wouldn’t be wanted. Luke had been the one to call her during his
recovery, but his apology was so out of the blue and he’d been on serious pain
meds, she wasn’t sure if he was sincere. Now she believed him.

“Never
again, baby girl. Never again.”

She
simply held on to him. He was so strong and they’d been through so much. There
were hundreds of moments they could have talked, but they both seemed hesitant.
Perhaps they needed the extra time to heal. Or maybe they each needed the time
to find
themselves
, find their perfect counterparts,
and find peace, which they had.

Luke
had Tristan and she had Alec. How had she ever questioned such things? It was
difficult for her to comprehend her past feelings toward Tristan now that she
understood true love and witnessed it every day with her husband.

“Sheilagh?”
Sniffling, she peeked past her brother and found Alec, a look of cautious
concern on her husband’s face.

“Hey.”

Luke
stepped back and faced the wall, taking a moment to find his composure. Alec
glanced at her brother and frowned. “Everything okay?”

She
laughed, a bit watery. “Everything’s great.”

Luke
turned and approached Alec. “I was just making a long overdue apology. I
believe I owe you one as well.” He held out his hand, which seemed to surprise
her husband. “And a thank you.”

“A
thank you?”

Luke
nodded and cleared his throat. “For being there for Sheilagh when she needed
someone most. For loving her and making her happy. She deserves a good guy and
she found one in you.”

Alec
grinned and shook her brother’s hand. It might have been the first time they
ever touched. “Thank you,” Alec responded, clearly taken aback by Luke’s words.

The
side door opened again. “Maureen—” Tristan’s steps cut short. “Hey. What’s
going on?” His expression turned guarded, as he took in their weepy eyes and
the unusual grouping of her, Luke, and Alec, alone in the same room.

Luke
grabbed the chips off the counter and handed them to Tristan, placing a kiss on
his cheek. It was the first time Sheilagh saw her brother openly kiss his
partner. “I did it,” he whispered to Tristan.

Tristan
glanced at Luke and smiled. It seemed this moment had been something they’d
discussed in private. “Good.”

There
was so much affection in the look they shared, Sheilagh felt a bit like an
intruder. Before she could think of something to say, Tristan pegged her with his
familiar eyes. Holding out his arms, he said, “My turn, baby girl.”

She
glanced at Alec who nodded with a smile and she rushed to Tristan’s arms. He
lifted her off the ground and hugged her tight. God, she’d missed her friend.

His
lips pressed to her hair and she snuggled into him. He had been such a part of
her life, the distance between them over the past year had drained her more
than words could express.

“I love
you, baby girl.”

“I love
you too.”

“Is
dinner ready?—Oh.” Braydon stilled as he came into the kitchen, clearly aware
he was encroaching on a private moment. She beamed when she saw the way her
brother clasped Becca’s hand possessively. Something told her he wasn’t letting
this one out of his sight.

Wiping
away her tears, Sheilagh apologized. “Sorry, we were just talking.”

“Everything
all right?” he asked nervously, pulling Becca into the room. “Where are Carla
and Nikki?”

“They
went with Mum into town to get some things.”

Braydon’s
face dropped. “Shit.”

* * * *

“Hold
on girls!” Maureen yelled as she whipped around the turn into traffic. “Now,
see over there, that’s the farmer’s market my daughter-in-law owns. She and my
son Kelly run it when they’re not running the bar?”

“O’Malley’s,
right?” Carla asked, excited to tour the town.

“That’s
right. Have you been there?”

“No,
but Braydon told us about it.”

“Oh,
‘tis a lovely pub. Would you like to stop in for a nip?”

Carla
glanced at Nikki who shrugged. “Sure.”

“All
right then.” Before they had a chance to brace themselves, Maureen yanked the
wheel and made an abrupt U-turn.

Nikki
laughed. “Oh, I think I like you, Mrs. McCullough.”

“Call
me Maureen, love. And I like you too. Like everyone. Unless you’re on my shit
list, that is. Perhaps my nephews will be there. Do you like Irishmen?”

“What’s
not to like?” Carla asked.

They
pulled into the parking lot of O’Malley’s. It looked like your average small
town pub, stucco walls, simple green door, with a wooden sign on the exterior.
This should be fun, Carla thought.

“Come
along, girls.” Maureen hopped out of the truck and removed her apron. The woman
had endless energy.

“Do I
look all right?” Nikki asked as she climbed down.

“What
do you care? You’re married.”

“I’m
not dead, though. There’re Irishmen in there. McCullough Irishmen.”

“Yeah,
but from what I hear
,
all the good ones are taken.”

“Not
all of
them,
love,” Maureen said with a grin as she
slapped her lightly on the cheek. “Come along. Sheilagh’s watching the soup and
she’ll only be able to fight off the men for so long. Once they realize she’s
got food they’ll be up her arse like a bad thong. But she’s a fighter, my
devil.”

Carla
stilled. “Oh my God, I love this woman.”

They
followed her into the bar and Carla’s eyes adjusted to the dim lighting. The
second she noticed the man behind the bar she froze. Choirs sang and mystical
doves seemed to release from somewhere in her mind. “Holy mother of man flesh.
I think my ovaries just exploded. Tell me that one’s single.”

Maureen
laughed. “’Fraid not, love.
That there’s my rogue.
Kelly!”

The
gorgeous bartender turned with a smile.
Yup.
When God
said let there be sexy he definitely had this man in mind.

“Who
let you out without supervision?” the bartender teased.

Maureen
waved his words away and dragged them closer to the tattooed, blue-eyed devil
at the bar. “I ran out of flour.”

Kelly
laughed. “We don’t sell that here, Mum.”

“Tis a
shame. I suppose I’ll just have to buy a nip instead. Give us three shots of
Tully, love.”

“And
who are your friends? Picking up hitchhikers again?” He turned and winked a
sharp sapphire eye in their direction and Carla wiped her gaping jaw, doing a
quick drool check.

“Holy
shit, he should have a license to carry a face like that,” Nikki whispered.

“I’m
sorry,” Carla said, leaning close, but keeping her eyes on Kelly. “My vagina’s
in some sort of spasm right now. I couldn’t quite make out your words.”