August 9th (19 page)

Tess,

I’m an Ironman!

I completed the Arizona Ironman in November. Although it’s hard to get an entry into any Ironman race I was able to get a slot by donating a little money to the Ironman Foundation. I was thinking about waiting until I was 60 to take advantage of being on the young end of the 60-65 age group but with my cheerleaders Sandy and Caroline pushing me I decided to do it last November.

The race is double the half-Ironman or a 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike ride and a marathon. The original Ironman is still held in Hawaii but that’s an almost impossible race to qualify for and much more demanding than the race I completed because of the heat and winds on the Big Island of Hawaii in October. The Arizona Ironman is a freshwater swim in Tempe Town
Lake, a three loop relatively flat bike ride and a flat marathon around the lake we swam in.

I took a big group for support and it turned into a great vacation. (Caroline, Reed, Emily, Nick, Ben, Phil, My Mother Laura, Sandy and me) The weather was great and we had five suites in a semi-plush resort for five days.

As to my race, it was by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done physically. Luckily the weather was near perfect although that didn’t help my always slow swim. My arms felt like jelly getting out of the water and it took me almost ten miles on the bike to really get going. At about 100 miles into the bike ride my calves started to cramp and I was passed by lots of the riders who I had worked so hard to pass during the earlier part of the bike portion of the race. When I got off the bike I was totally exhausted. I’m not sure I would have even started the run if it weren’t for my cheerleading family. As I started running my legs felt like wood. They loosened up after mile 6 and I was relatively okay for the next 10 miles. That took me to mile 16 and continual leg cramping that was an absolute bitch. The last 10.2 miles were part run, but mostly walk.

Nearing the finish, I could see and hear my cheer leaders screaming. I forgot about all the pain and tried to look good and smile as I crossed the finish and heard the PA announcer call out my name. Sandy wearing her running shoes was the first to greet me. Somehow I was able to stand as she wrapped her arms and legs around me.

After getting lots of hugs and congratulations I retreated to the large medical tent for a little massage. I was beyond sore and tired. For 14 hours 39 minutes and 15 seconds I gave everything I had and then some. Although I constantly drank water and electrolyte fluids during the race I couldn’t get enough liquid into my body. I slowly walked out of the medical tent after my massage to greet my waiting cheerleaders. I learned you can smile regardless of how badly your body hurts.

I couldn’t get comfortable that evening and barely had enough energy to cut the big rib eye steak I devoured along with a huge baked potato with probably a half lb of butter. The iced tea tasted wonderful and I toasted my cheerleaders after they toasted me.

Luckily, Sandy understands the pain of leg cramps because that night in bed I had them in both legs. She was a trooper and tried to massage them as they occurred. Unfortunately, I was even stiffer the next morning, but since we weren’t flying home until the next day I relaxed in the Jacuzzi for about an hour after breakfast. Everyone hung out around the hotel pool the rest of the day drinking foo-foo drinks with umbrellas, and eating nachos and burgers.

Finishing that race was a wonderful experience and I was especially happy to share it with my family and Sandy. My goal was to finish an hour faster than I did but everyone hopes to finish their first Ironman faster than they do. It was fast enough and the pain and soreness eventually subsided. The feeling I had when crossing
the finish line to see and hear my family supporting me is something I will never forget.

This is a somewhat unique letter because it’s basically about one subject. Nobody died this year and there were no serious illnesses or major problems. It was a good year and I hope you enjoyed the same.

Dear Tess,

I don’t feel old but I turned sixty in February.

I really didn’t want a party and certainly not a big party but Caroline, bless her heart, felt otherwise and I don’t argue with Caroline who also had the backing of Caroline Jr. also known as Emily. My birthday, Feb. 4th, fell on a Friday this year as did my party.

It wasn’t really a surprise party since I knew the date and where it was going to be. What I didn’t know was who or how many were coming. Let’s see how many I can remember. First there was my family, Caroline, Ben, my Mother Laura, sister Janet, Reed, Emily, Nick, Susan and Rich. (My in-laws) Then my friends, Sarah’s two children and her five grandchildren, Jeff and Bonnie, Sandy and her son David, Tony and Phil, Mark, my old UCLA friend who helped me identify you, five of the partners from Rogers Schmidt, a half dozen of my fellow UCLA faculty friends and four training buddies.
Then there was a group from the Autism School in the Bay Area and a group from the UCLA Autism Center. Add them all up and the total count was over sixty.

Caroline got the perfect sized party room at a boutique hotel in Santa Monica and had the hotel set up five round tables for dinner that were then moved for the dancing afterwards. What a wonderful celebration that was part tribute (embarrassing), part roast (hilarious), and then came the family speeches. (Tears, tears and more tears for me)

It was a wonderful evening and I was overwhelmed with love and gratitude. Caroline also got a hold of my bins of movies and videos and hired a videographer to edit them into a chronological movie. Now I know what it must be like to get a lifetime achievement award except I’m only sixty.

Throughout the entire evening I missed my Maggie. Her beautiful smiling face was in so many of the videos and she was so responsible for who I am and whatever good I’ve been able to do. Tess, I get very emotional every time I relive that evening and now I’m going to stop writing. Sorry.

Dear Tess,

I’m sorry for what I remember to be a very emotional and abrupt ending to last year’s letter. My party was overwhelming and I felt blessed to receive such a warm and wonderful outpouring from my family and friends.

Sandy and I have stopped seeing each other. I have absolutely nothing but great things to say about her. She’s a beautiful, caring, loving, fun lady. Our relationship started with both of us just wanting companionship, casual fun and the enjoyment of each other’s company. I guess it’s unreasonable to assume that any woman doesn’t really want more. Eventually Sandy wanted a commitment besides just being exclusive. She wanted a future and for us to get married. The problem for me was I don’t think I was ever in love with her. Our relationship worked because we enjoyed doing the same things, it was convenient and we had fun all the time. It’s very possible my conception of love is too idealistic
and I know it may sound corny but I want to believe the woman I marry is someone I can’t live without. I miss Sandy and miss spending time with her doing things we both loved. I often wonder if I’m just destined to live the rest of my life alone.

My Mother, in her mid eighties, is as stubborn as I am. I’ve been trying to get her to move in with me for years but she continues to insist she’s more than capable of taking care of herself. So far she’s been right but to ease my worry or get me off her back she agreed to let me make a few safety additions to her house like handrails in her bathroom and a central control box for operating everything from her TV to the lights and sprinklers. She also let me upgrade her alarm system that now includes a smart button that attaches to her watch to notify the security system’s office when she needs help. Also, besides her housekeeper, who comes twice a week, I hired a food service to deliver her hot dinners Monday through Friday. I guess I should be happy she’s still active and healthy.

BenScapes continues to grow and is now being sold everywhere thanks to the new website. Tony runs the small business we’ve set up and Ben’s got a printed catalog as well as the website. All he has to do is keep painting which he still seems to love. Yet again, I’m totally frustrated over the lack of new treatments or a cure for autism. Caroline, as she always does, tells me to be patient because there isn’t a simple solution.

The grandkids are great and keep me busy. Em will be 7 in November and Nick will be 4 in January. I’ve got
more toys and stuff for them to play with at my house than Caroline and Reed have at theirs. They’ve told me they have no more room and to keep everything I buy at my place. I continue to take pride in spoiling my grandchildren.

After all the hard training, the long hours and painful injuries I really cut back on my training and racing. I still get in the UCLA pool a couple of times a week, run once or twice a week and go for maybe a 40 mile bike ride but nothing like I used to do. After completing the Ironman I have no desire to ever do it again so I took up an activity I was saving till I got older, golf. Plus I’m more into yoga.

Practicing yoga has been nothing but beneficial. My flexibility sucked at first and it took a while, but after six months I gained a little flexibility, improved my self confidence and stopped embarrassing myself. I take classes at UCLA three times a week and although I’ll never strike some of those difficult poses with the crazy names, my flexibility and balance have improved.

Golf is a different challenge and a lot more mental than I anticipated. It’s also another activity that humbled me. After months of lessons, hitting thousands of balls on the range and probably playing 50 rounds I’m still below average but now, at least, I know what I should be doing. If I break 100 it’s a good day, and on the rare occasion I break 90 I save my scorecard.

I have two major tech stories for you. The first was the sad passing of Steve Jobs in October of 2011. He really was a visionary and business giant who changed
the world of computers, music delivery, cellular phones and even animated movies. All the people I know who knew him said the same thing, absolutely brilliant but very difficult to work with. After his passing, Carolyn asked me if she should sell her Apple stock that was now worth a lot of money. I asked her how important she thought Jobs was to Apple? She sold the stock.