August 9th (21 page)

After she wiped the beads of perspiration from her forehead, she twirled her shoulder length platinum blonde hair into a little bun, picked up her black case and walked through the front door. Searching the wall directory she found the ICU floor and proceeded to the elevators. As the sliding door opened to the Intensive Care Unit Tess was welcomed by an intercom on the wall adjacent to the clouded glass doors. After reading the instructions Tess pressed the intercom button.

“Hello, how can I help you?”

“Good morning, I’m here to visit Daniel Brewster.”

“Your name, please?”

“Tess or Theresa Walker, I mean Davis, I mean Tess Davis Walker.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Walker. We’ll be right with you.”

In less than a minute the door opened and a nurse walked out carrying a file.

“Mrs. Walker, I’m Rachel Salter. I’m an ICU supervising nurse. Please, can we sit down?”

Tess pulled the handkerchief out of her pocket. She was too late. Nurse Salter told her Daniel had passed away five days earlier on the evening of August 9
^th
.

“I’m so, so sorry Mrs. Walker. I see your name, Tess Davis, was on the list of approved visitors for Professor Brewster. As you obviously know, he was a very special man. He had to dictate part of your letter to me after he lost the use of his hands. It was the most romantic and also the saddest thing I’ve ever heard. He made me promise I wouldn’t talk to anyone about the letter. I could barely continue to write when tears started streaming down my face. He was with us in ICU for several weeks and fought courageously until the very end. He told me he had to stay alive until August 9
^th
, and he did. You were so very special to Professor Brewster.”

A sobbing Tess softly responded, “He was beyond special and helped shape my life. I owe him so much and was here to thank him, finally, in person. Now I’m too late to share so much with the man who shared so much of his life with me.”

“I’m so, so sorry. Do you know about the Memorial? It’s this afternoon at his home. It’s a celebration of his
amazing life and all the good he’s done for so many. Let me get you the directions.”

Tess drove by the address to find cars everywhere forcing her to park three blocks away. Carrying her black leather case she was drawn to the Memorial by the sounds of Led Zeppelin that kept rising in volume as she approached the big, beautiful two story home reminiscent of Kevin Kline’s Big Chill house.

Young children played on the swings hanging from the two large trees in the front yard and groups of people sat around small tables on the front porch. Most everyone seemed to be in t-shirts from rock concerts, running races or triathlons. There were even a few people wearing t-shirts with beautiful seascapes with BenScapes printed under the image. Tess hoped she didn’t stick out any more than she felt in her dark jeans and white silk blouse.

As she walked into the open front door she was immediately struck by the uniformity of expressions on the collage of faces. Laughter and smiles were attached to a wide range of ages, body types and skin colors. She paused at a table with a guest book, picked up the pen and then placed it back down without signing.

Tess was bewildered and uncomfortable. What was she doing there? What did she expect to find or discover? It was a mistake. There was no reason for her to be there. She had never met, never even spoken to
the man whose life was being celebrated. How could she ever explain who she was and describe her relationship with Dan. She was living a crazy unfulfilled fantasy. It was too late, impossibly too late. She turned around and started to walk out when Led Zeppelin’s song Communication Breakdown began playing over the speakers. It was the encore song played forty-five years earlier when her eyes focused on Daniel for the second and last time. Trembling, tears running down her cheeks, she sat on the corner of a couch and tried to gain her composure.

As she looked around she felt surrounded by the familiar faces of people she’d never met but knew so well from Dan’s letters. The walls were indeed full of Ben’s beautiful paintings and the big screen TVs played Daniel’s home videos.

The tap on her shoulder was soft but intentional. As she turned around she was startled to be met with a similar feeling that had buckled her knees forty-five years earlier. The eyes of the woman now kneeling before her were remarkably the same, just as she remembered. For what seemed like several minutes they just stared into each other’s eyes.

“He knew you would come. He knew you would come.”

“Oh Caroline, you’re as beautiful as your father always described you. Your eyes, those deep blue eyes are identical to his—just as I remember.”

Tess couldn’t hold back the emotions that had been accumulating for more than four decades. Instinctively,
the younger woman tightly held Tess’s hand and whispered in her ear.

“Tess, I can’t even imagine what this is like for you. I’m so happy you’re here. Dad knew, somehow he knew that you would come. You’re so much like my father described and that’s remarkable since he saw you for just seconds more than forty-five years ago. I have so much to share with you. Please, take my hand. I’d like to take you to his special place.”

As they weaved their way through what must have been two hundred people they walked past the large pool to several oversized wooden chairs on the bluff that overlooked a beautiful panoramic view of the Pacific.

“Tess, this was my father’s favorite spot in the world. He said it cleared his mind and fed his soul. He would just sit here and consume the world for hours on end.”

“Oh Caroline, I’m so sorry I wasn’t able to get here in time. I was in Europe until yesterday. After I read your dad’s letter I became an emotional mess and contemplated what I should do. Then I drove to JFK and caught a flight to LA. Ever since that night in Anaheim forty-five years ago I’ve wanted to meet the man who had so magically touched me. But, I could never ever be the other woman and your father loved your mother with all his heart. Unfortunately, I’ve never found that love.”

When Tess opened up the black leather case she had been firmly holding under her arm tears rolled down Caroline’s cheeks. There they were—all forty-five letters.

“I saved them all, Caroline, each and every one. The story they tell is of a wonderful man, living an incredible life filled with joy, success, love and tragedy. It was a remarkable journey. His evolution and how he described it, once a year on August 9
^th
, was fascinating. I eagerly awaited every letter and always made sure the post office had my address changes. Caroline, I’d like to share the letters with you, if you’d allow me.”

Still sobbing, Caroline whispered, “Not now, Tess, not today, maybe someday, but just not today. They were intended for you and perhaps it should stay that way.”

“Caroline, I’m sure you know this but you were always so very special to your father. He continually wrote of your brilliance and how very proud he was of you. After meeting you I can obviously see why. He also commented repeatedly how much you were like your mother. His love for Ben always came with the frustration he couldn’t do more to help his son. He felt his biggest responsibility in life was to insure his son was always taken care of and never a burden to anyone.”

“Caroline, for more than four decades I was connected in the most unique way with your father. We never met, never spoke and only looked at each other for a few seconds, yet miraculously I could always feel his presence. In my darkest hours he somehow gave me light and hope. For forty-five years our relationship confused me but it was always a wonderful blessing.”

“Tess, in just the few minutes we’ve talked it’s unbelievable to me that dad knew exactly who you were. I
think he wanted to tell me about you but didn’t know how. But, I already knew his secret.”

“My Mother was an incredible woman and very spiritually connected, much more so than Dad. She shared my Father’s secret with me during a walk one day. We were having a rather deep conversation about forgiveness. Somehow she discovered one of your letters around the house. She sensed my father was writing letters to himself as well as you. She knew Dad loved her completely and unconditionally and felt their love was so true she could always forgive him. She told me how their marriage had survived Dad’s infidelity, alcoholism and workaholic behavior. She chose never to bring up his secret or you, and never did. She didn’t want to spoil something so special to him. Oh Tess, I miss her so.”

“Caroline, there was never a letter where your father didn’t speak of his never ending love for your mother. He never doubted she was the woman he’d share the rest of his life with. The letter your father wrote after she tragically passed described the most beautiful, most touching, most wonderful love story I’ve ever known. After I received that letter I really wanted to visit your dad and just hold him and perhaps selfishly ignite the magic we had shared. I even bought a plane ticket but then rationalized it wasn’t the right thing to do and I couldn’t and didn’t take that flight. I reasoned the relationship your father and I had, whatever it was, had long ago been defined and I accepted that’s the way it should stay. The timeless image of
each other we shared connected us and our lives forever and I didn’t have the courage to risk losing that magical perfection.”

“Tess, would you like to meet my brother Ben?”

“I think I already know him and I don’t think now is the best time.”

“I have so many questions. What about your family, your life?”

“Oh Caroline, let’s just say my life has been rather calm and relatively uninter…., nowhere near as fascinating or significant as your fathers. Let’s leave it at that, at least for now.” Okay?”

“Of course, but I hope we can stay in touch.”

“I hope so too Caroline, perhaps once a year. August 9
^th
seems appropriate and would make your father smile.”

The two women, holding hands, walked slowly back through the house where poetically the Righteous Brothers Unchained Melody was now playing. Tears flowed down the cheeks of both women as they walked the three blocks to Tess’s rented car. Then for a moment they silently stood and tightly hugged. As Tess opened the car door she reached into the back pocket of her jeans until she felt a small piece of cardboard that she pulled out and gently squeezed into Caroline’s hand.

Tears ran down Caroline’s face that were met by a faint smile as she looked down at the small piece of cardboard in her hand.

Tess gently closed the car door and started the engine as Caroline stared motionless from the curb. Then Tess realized she had forgotten something. She opened her black case which was on the passenger’s seat and from the inner flap pulled out an envelope addressed to Daniel Brewster. Rolling down her window she called out to Caroline.

“Caroline, I almost forgot something. I want you to have this. It’s a letter I wrote to your father right after I received his last letter. Then I realized I couldn’t mail this letter. I wasn’t strong enough to visit your Dad after you Mother died, but I wasn’t going to make that same mistake twice. I had to fly out and visit him. I know it’s impossible to explain the feeling your father and I shared but I hope my letter helps explain what you father meant to me. If, but only if…”