Awakening the Luminous Mind: Tibetan Meditation for Inner Peace and Joy (7 page)

In the end, through stillness, silence, and spaciousness we arrive at the same place, the natural mind. But on the path they are different because you arrive through a particular door: one through movement, one through voice, one through thought. Although the paths are different, in essence they are the same. When you arrive, there is no distinction between whether you came through one door or another. It is no longer important where you came from. The door is only important when you are lost. If you are lost on the eastern side of the mountain, then it is better that you find the eastern path, because it is the closest to you. Of course, you can always wander around to the west, but the recommendation would be to find the closest door. When we fly we are always reminded by the flight attendant that “the nearest exit could be right behind you.” In this case, the closest entrance is right within you. Your inner critic could be the closest entrance and remind you to enter the inner refuge through hearing the silence. The tension in your jaw could be your closest entrance and remind you to enter the inner refuge through stillness. Your doubting, hesitating mind could be the closest entrance to recognizing the spaciousness of mind. But we do love to complicate things and will often choose the furthest possible route. It is curious, how we don’t value that which is closest.

T
HREE
P
ILLS A
D
AY
: R
EINFORCING THE
H
ABIT OF
T
URNING
I
NWARD

Why is it so difficult to bring clear and open attention inward, even if we agree it is a good idea? Because we are not very familiar with openness and we don’t trust it enough. We doubt it will work or we doubt that we are sufficient in the core of our being. Therefore, we don’t turn to our essence and don’t fully experience the richness of our being. Even if we do have an experience, our smart ego interferes and diminishes the experience, saying, “It can’t be that easy.”

How can we become more familiar with inner refuge? If we are given a prescription for medicine that is absolutely necessary for our health, we are motivated and will find a way to remember to take it. So perhaps we need to think of turning toward inner refuge as a necessary medicine. This is why I use the analogy of the three pills: the pill of stillness, the pill of silence, and the pill of spaciousness. Treat this as a prescription that you really need—not only to treat your sickness, but also to support you to flourish as a human being.

If you pay attention, the opportunity to take one of the pills chooses you. When you are restless and agitated, your agitation has chosen you. At that very moment you can be grateful for your agitation, for it has reminded you to take the white pill of stillness. Just breathe in slowly and go toward your agitation with full openness and feel it. Your stillness is right in the midst of your agitation. Don’t distract yourself and reject the agitation, trying to find stillness somewhere else. Simply go toward it. Discover the stillness right there within your agitation.

The moment you hear complaint in your voice, you can recognize it as the time to take the red pill of silence. What do you do? Be open. Host your complaints as you hear the silence within your voice. Silence is within your voice because silence is the nature of sound. Space is the nature of matter. Don’t look for stillness by rejecting movement. Don’t search for silence by rejecting sound. That is not possible. You can never find it by rejecting your experience.

When your mind is going crazy with thoughts and plans, take the blue pill of spaciousness. Remember, don’t look for space by rejecting your thoughts; space is already there. But it is important to make that discovery, again and again.

So make sure you take the three pills throughout the day. Take these pills as often as you recognize the opportunity, but my recommendation is to consciously choose, at least five times a day, to connect with the inner refuge by taking one of the pills. That is my prescription for you. It seems useful and necessary to prescribe a specific number of times to encourage familiarity with this informal meditation practice. By remembering to take the three pills, you will begin to discover the powerful benefits of the inner refuge.

CHAPTER TWO

I
NNER
R
EFUGE AND
D
ISCOVERING THE
S
ACRED
S
ELF

I wrote three verses as a teaching on the inner refuge to encourage my students to honor and respect our ordinary body, speech, and mind as the doorways to discovering our inherent positive qualities. The first verse corresponds to the refuge of the body, the second to the refuge of the dimension of speech, and the third to the refuge of the mind. When pain body, pain speech, and the pain mind are acknowledged and hosted in the stillness, silence, and spaciousness, they naturally dissolve and release. Through this, we discover the enlightened or sacred dimensions of body, speech, and mind. I refer to these sacred dimensions as the body of emptiness, the body of light, and the body of great bliss.

(You may listen to me reciting these verses in Tibetan and in English on Tracks 1 and 2 of the CD.)

Inner Refuge

Body
The center of the victorious mandala, one’s own body,
The source of all positive qualities without exception,
Is the expanse within the three channels and the five chakras.
I take refuge in this body of emptiness.

Speech
All the gathered clouds of suffering and misery
Are completely cleared by the wisdom wind,
Revealing the unelaborated, primordially pure expanse of the sky.
I take refuge in this body of light.

Mind
From the pavilion of the five wisdom lights,
Rays from nondual spheres of light emanate,
Clearing the webs of the darkness of ignorance.
I take refuge in this body of great bliss.

F
IRST
R
EFUGE
: T
HE
B
ODY OF
E
MPTINESS

The body of emptiness can be accessed through our experience of the physical body. In general we can focus upon the body as a whole and discover the experience of stillness. As we are still, the stillness is the doorway through which we can experience the unbounded, unchanging space of being. We can also focus on the space within our heart or upon a more elaborate “sacred architecture” of the body using three channels (internal channels for the flow of subtle energy) and five chakras (energy centers), and discover the unbounded space there. By focusing clearly and finding stillness, we can discover an experience of unbounded spaciousness.

Space can be experienced in this body, in these chakras, in these channels, and particularly in our heart. So we draw our attention to our own body, our physical body. “The mandala of one’s own body” is not a metaphor, but refers to this very body that we have—this physical body. Every aspect of our physical body is sacred. What determines whether we experience the “ordinary” body or the “sacred” body depends upon the perceiver. If the perceiver is the thinking, moving mind, we will experience ordinary pain and pleasure. If we engage the experience of
being
, nakedly and directly, we will discover the sacred body, the body of emptiness. Whether we use awareness of our whole body, or five chakras, three channels, or our heart to host the awareness of this sacredness, there, in that internal space, the body of emptiness abides. That is who I am, a being of stillness. I am the body of emptiness. When I experience that body of emptiness, I take refuge in my true being. I am the refuge.

The body of emptiness has incredible qualities: indestructible, changeless, deathless, unconditioned, and pervasive. These are the qualities that your ordinary body provides the opportunity to experience. Who you truly are is indestructible and changeless. Our essence is changeless. And through stillness, the body of emptiness is discovered in this physical body, particularly in your physical heart. In these teachings, the physical heart is very sacred. Our true being and energy abide in the sacred space within the heart. So that is where we go for refuge. That is where we focus our searching mind and allow our doubts and questions to exhaust themselves. Just simply draw your attention within, become still, and feel the deep stillness that is always there. You can never lose it, because you
are
it. The ability to go inward needs to be practiced. Again and again we draw our attention inward and trust that place of stillness with an attitude of respect. This is our practice.

Throughout the history of humankind, people have been revering and bowing before sacred mountains, images of gods and goddesses, and shrines. We have made offerings with great respect and awe and have prayed for guidance. That is the attitude you want to have for the space within at this very moment. Whether the entrance to this moment of experience is chaotic and noisy or serene and sublime makes no difference. What is important is your attitude of respect and your ability to draw unwavering attention inward and become conscious of stillness. Having trust and respect is a conventional sense of refuge. Bowing, making offerings, and feeling joy and inspiration toward the refuge of your being is another conventional sense of refuge.
Being
that stillness,
being
that space, is the ultimate sense of refuge. Both the conventional and ultimate aspects of refuge are important to have in order to awaken the luminous mind.

Start with humbleness toward yourself. People are very self-critical, comparing themselves with others and competing with them. What if you spoke to another person aloud the way you talk silently to yourself? Isn’t it likely that you would be seen as abusive? Too many of us treat ourselves harshly and lack self-respect. It is important not to be aggressive or critical toward oneself or to diminish one’s worth. Self-respect is both the prerequisite for and the result of refuge: the attitude necessary for taking refuge, and the conventional benefit of taking refuge. The ultimate benefit is that when you take refuge, you feel a sense of being at home in yourself. You also feel protected. It is a deep protection in the space of being—the changeless, indestructible space, which is who you truly are. That is the key message here: when you turn toward this inner refuge and when you
are
that, you experience the power of changelessness.

If you examine why you feel painful emotions and why you are anxious, it has so much to do with fearing change. Whether we are experiencing small changes in life related to relationships, work, or family, or bigger changes such as serious illness, aging, or dying, change makes us aware that the expectations of ego are unfulfilled. Our ego, our conventional sense of self, has difficulty adapting to change. Fear of new situations thus has to do with our relationship to change. From a deep place we fear that “I” will change. That sense of “I” is the fundamental error. It’s not really because somebody left me or I lost my job that I feel pain. The real pain is the fear that whatever is happening is changing
me
—I am losing something I thought was permanently mine. My “I” has been attacked. The “I” who is fearful is the changeable “I,” the false ego.

The only medicine for this changeable pain identity or ego is to glimpse the changeless essence. How can the changeless essence be altered? If changelessness is my true essence, no one has the power to destroy it. Again, this cannot just be a belief but must be a direct experience. The benefit of this recognition is not theoretical. Even a glimpse of this is powerful. You open your heart as you turn toward the inner refuge with a sense of trusting openness, and that brings you closer to experiencing a glimpse of changelessness. The moment you glimpse changelessness, you experience everything as it is. You are at peace with what is. That is how the space of refuge protects. Protection is not a fantasy in which mythical beings show up with magical weapons and fend off everything that is making problems for you. Rather it is the inner strength that has no face or form or weapon. It is nothing and therefore it is everything. It is formless and the most powerful strength you can discover. Turning to stillness and discovering the inner space within your body is the way you become the first refuge, the body of emptiness.

S
ECOND
R
EFUGE
: T
HE
B
ODY OF
L
IGHT