Awakening (The Vampire Destiny Series Book #3) (15 page)

Choking back tears, I could only whimper.  I knew in that instant that this was right and I'd been crazy to reject him because of my silly ideas about his obligation.  "Translation, please?"

He smiled, his chiseled face had that unarmed, child-like expression again.  I imagined this is what he'd look like if he was still human, kneeling before me. "Josephine, there shall be one end for us both; one bond after our vows; nor shall our first love aimlessly perish.  I ask for your hand to be my mate, my lover for eternity.  Be with me."

He offered the ring to me.  A beautiful emerald cut diamond ring sat nestled in his large palm.  It was set in platinum, the delicate band surrounded with rubies.

Hesitantly, I reached out to touch the ring.  "Stefan...it's too much."

"Is that another no?" Stefan hadn't moved from his knees.

"Yes, I mean no.  Yes, I'll be with you,"  I mumbled.  I watched as he slid the beautiful ring on my finger.  It twinkled, the red rubies gleaming almost as brightly as Stefan's blue eyes as they watched me.

Without warning, I was surrounded in an instant.  His solid arms and a warm wall of muscle pulled me into a rough embrace.  His enormous frame swallowed me up, making me feel safe, desired and most importantly, loved.

"I love you, Stefan."  I breathed in his scent, closing my eyes against the tears that threatened to spill over.  I hugged him tighter. "I love you because you accept all my flaws, my insecurity and manage to love me anyway.  You are the other half that completes me, the best part of me.”

His arms trembled as they held me.  He didn't loosen his hold, yet I could feel the effect of my words.  I’d managed to astonish him.

I knew beyond a doubt this beautiful creature loved me, valued me above anything and everything.   And I knew he always would.

"Min hjärta,"
his voice was soft in my mind.

Before I could ask him to translate again, his mental voice spoke again
.  "It means my heart.  It may not beat, yet it is filled with love for you, vackra."

I dissolved into tears in his arms, soaking his shirt.  And he was willing to just hold me and let me have this moment.

Chapter 5

I Remember You

As the dim light of morning peeked around the curtains, the previous night came back into focus.  I was alone in bed, Stefan's mind spiraling in the background of my psyche.

We'd stayed on the rooftop until my eyelids drooped and my brain entered the muddled, foggy half-asleep state where I was only partly aware of my surroundings.  I'd felt Stefan lift me in his arms, cradling me tightly against him, yet so gently that he barely jostled me as he carried me down two flights of stairs and into our apartment.  The cool softness of the bed greeted me, followed by the warm embrace of his arms as he spooned behind me.

Rubbing my hand across my eyes, I sat up and slowly swung both legs over the bed.  I felt strangely disoriented and light-headed.  Closing my eyes, I inhaled a deep breath, hoping to settle the oddness I was feeling.  As I stood motionless in the middle of the room, I noticed I could hear the sounds of papers ruffling quietly in Stefan's office.  Concentrating more intently, I realized I could hear the muffled sound of Lukas's voice in the next apartment.  Had the latest infusion of his blood increased my ability or was it simply my body changing yet again?

I went through my morning routine much slower than usual.  My mind sorted through the differences, the subtle changes I'd experienced.  My speed had increased; I was not nearly as fast as Stefan, but my new found agility had caught him off guard at least twice.  Mentally forming a list, I added the changes: cooler body temperature, my skin becoming firmer and paler.  My vision had become sharper and now my hearing had become keener.  Add that to my ability to project my shield outward, it was amazing to think of how different I'd become in the matter of weeks.

With all the strengths I’d gained, I'd suffered a crippling loss: my ability to see the future of humans.  It was a double-edged sword.  I loathed the ability, blamed it for my inability to maintain normal relationships.  It had been an easy scapegoat for me to blame.  Now that it was gone, I felt like a piece of myself was missing.  I'd used it selfishly when it was convenient for me to have it.  Now I silently mourned its sudden disappearance.  It had allowed Aidan to catch me unguarded.  I'd have to attempt to learn to live without the advantage of predicting human behavior.

A wry smile reflected back at me in the mirror.  How quickly I'd adapted to separating myself from what I'd always considered myself to be.  Already I was classifying myself as something different than human.

More.

The room came alive when Stefan stealthily entered, our eyes meeting in the mirror.  He slouched against the doorframe, his long arms folded across his chest.  He was quietly observing me, slipping seamlessly into my mind, an eager witness to my every thoughts and feeling.

"When you were changed, did you lose your ability?"  I asked suddenly.  Turning quickly, I glanced upwards to look into his eyes.  He hadn't predicted my question and his blue eyes unfocused briefly only to refocus and meet my unblinking stare.

"No.  My ability shifted from reading humans to vampires.  You were the only human I had envisioned in over 900 years." His mouth tensed.  He shifted slightly so more of his large frame filled the doorway. "I agree with what you think.  You are not human, nor are you a vampire.  You are something in between.  It could be as simple as that."

Moving to his side, my fingers twirled up the length of his exposed flesh between his wrist and bicep.  "Nothing is ever simple with me or with us.  It never had and it never will be, Stefan."

An ancient grin surfaced on his lips.  It was wise beyond my years, all-knowing and slightly jaded.  It was easy to forget everything he'd seen in his long life, the pain and loss he'd encountered.

He unfolded his arms and reached to smooth my hair away from my face.  His fingertips slid across my cheek, his eyes following the path his fingers had made.  "You are right.  It is never easy, yet after centuries you look forward to complications.  I searched.  I persevered and I found you.  You are the home where I wanted to be, only complete with you."

Closing my eyes under his soothing touch, I smiled weakly.  "What was my sacrifice?  I only waited 28 years to find you.  It seems sort of unfair in the grand scheme of things."

"You were alone for 28 years.  You had resigned yourself to spending a solitary existence.  You atoned plenty." He placed his calloused hand on my cheek.  Leaning into his caress, I sighed in happiness.  As we stood together, my mind was filled with strange memories.  I saw Stefan in his human form, fighting his final battle, sinking to his knees as his opponent's sword breached his chain mail.  His lightly tanned skin paled as he watched his blood darken the hand that clutched his wound.  Realizing his mistake, he knew he was facing his death at that exact moment.

Feeling his pain as if it was my own, I dropped to my knees, clutching my own side in agony.  I barely registered Stefan joining me on the bedroom floor, panic exuding from him as he desperately tried to comprehend what was happening.  I could hear his faraway voice, calling my name.  Unable to answer him or to let him see what I could see, the vision had dragged me in and I was unable to pull away.  I had to see it through until the end.

I was with him on his funeral pyre, listening to his ancient language fall from his beautiful lips in a muffled chant.  His blond hair was long, matted with his sweat and tears.  His handsome face was streaked with blood and dirt as he cried out into the night sky.  His voice was heavily accented and hoarse.  Not only could I hear the the pain in his words, I could feel it searing through my entire body.  "Let me die.  Release me from this suffering."

And for the first time, I saw Solveig.  Statuesque with dark blond hair and blue eyes, she took great pleasure in releasing him from his humanity.  His last human vision was of her face as she cradled his head to her, letting him drink from her wrist.

"I will see you soon, my lover," she whispered to him in the same dialect.

Flashes of his life rushed through my mind.  They were each so vivid that it was like reliving my own memories.   I was able to glimpse Stefan as a child, playing at the sea with his siblings.  The vision morphed to see him on his first hunting expedition.  I witnessed first-hand the quiet beauty of his mother and the imposing strictness of his father.

I cherished the glimpses of his disarming smile in the sunlight, admiring the human softness of his skin.  More than anything, it was his laughter, his freeness that captivated me.  He was a carefree young man, his entire life in front of him until that fateful day he met his untimely death.  He fought a battle that would immortalize him for me, a life he had never imagined possible.

How long had it taken him to accept his immortality? To let go of his mortality? A decade?  A century?  Seeing him through these memories as a human made my own struggle easier.  He'd been forced to change, to adapt to his new existence.  He hadn't asked for this life either.  Even though I detested Solveig, if not for her intervention, Stefan and I would have never met.  She'd saved him for me.

The memories made a full circle until I watched his immortal life begin and I was strangely pulled from his memories.  It was if there was some sort of disconnect and I couldn’t access anything else from his mind at the point of his change to a vampire.

My eyes popped open.  "Did you show me your life?  Your memories?"

He looked at me strangely, narrowing his eyes in confusion.  "Vackra, I have told you what little I remember of my human life.  I can recall my siblings names… but the memories are hazy at best.  As the centuries pass, the faces from your human life grow harder to recall.  Why do you ask?"

"I saw you.  The day you died," I recalled, squinting as I struggled to remember every detail.  "I watched a sword inflict the fatal blow.  I was with you as you lay dying on a funeral pyre.  I heard you beg for death."

Blinking, I attempted to swallow past the knot in my throat.  "Then I saw you as a child, then a young man.  It was like I was there with you as you aged, up until the moment of your human death.  I saw her."

Stefan was speechless.  His eyes went round, his lips parting slightly.  His voice was barely perceptible.  "Who did you see, vackra?"

"Solveig.  She took great pleasure in killing you."

"Yes, she found great pleasure in taking human life.  She was a decent maker but was extremely sadistic.  She was kind to me.  Others...she enjoyed to torture.  She was slowly going insane, vackra.  It is not an excuse, only an explanation."

He effortlessly leaped to his feet.  He offered me both of his hands and pulled me up.  "Shower and come to my office.  There are things I need to share with you."

***

Still shaken from my experience, I was freshly showered when I entered Stefan's office.  It was a masculine space, filled with dark, heavy furniture.  The bookshelf was filled with books, ancient looking weaponry lining the dark brown wall.  One sword on display reminded me of my vivid memory from his past.  I walked to the wall and my fingers hovered over the hilt.  It was so tempting to touch it, to hold it in my hand…

"You do not have to be so hesitant, vackra.  Whatever is mine is now yours."

Startled at the sound of his deep voice, my eyes jolted from the sword to his face, offering him a distracted smile.  My fingers absently brushed over the ancient metal.  "This sword.  This is the one you used the night you died.  Your brother spent hours forging the metal to create this for you.  You were proud to carry it."

Facing him, I noticed that his hands were gripping the arms of the chair.  His eyes became stormy, luminous in the light from the windows.  They were filled with an emotion I couldn't understand as he stared past me and focused on the weapons.

And his mind...his mind was a jumble of hazy memories and undisguised admiration.  I'd staggered him again, rocked him to his very core.  He didn't want to remember his human life, yet I kept dredging it up, memory after painful memory.