Awakenings - SF1 (83 page)

"What is it that scares you?" Anna asked gently.

"It's just that I've never been with a woman and she's been with...let's just say that she's been with a lot of women," she blushed. "I worry that I won't be able to please her, or that she'll get frustrated with my inexperience."

"Would you feel comfortable talking to her about your fears?"

"I think I would. I mean I tell her everything else. I may as well own up to this too," she laughed. "It's funny, but I dated boys for almost 6 years before I had intercourse. I just wish I could spend a little time just exploring with Ryan before it got too intense. I wish I could get a 'lesbian learner's permit'. But that didn't go over very well the last time I brought it up," she added with a noticeable shiver.

"That was a completely different situation, Jamie. You're asking for something very different now. There is no outside force that compels you to do things that you're not ready to do. If you want to go slow and just explore there is no reason that you can't do that."

"I'm just afraid that Ryan wouldn't be able to do that," she added shyly. "She has needs that she's not used to denying."

"If she's the person that you think she is you might be surprised at what she would do to make you comfortable, Jamie. I think you owe it to yourself to make this experience as safe as you need it to be. I think you need to talk to Ryan," she said firmly.

They met at the Ferry Building in the foggy chill of a late April morning. Both had several layers of clothing on to guard against the stiff breeze that constantly fluttered through the Golden Gate. They loaded their mountain bikes onto the first ferry to Sausalito and found places on the rail to watch the panorama unfold before them

"You really can talk me into anything, can't you?" Ryan said as she smiled down at her companion.

"Don't you think the ferry is fun?" Jamie replied.

"I haven't been on one since my 4th grade class went to Alcatraz," she admitted. "All I remember is that Shelly Blake got sick and spent the whole time hanging over the rail. We thought that was pretty cool, so I guess I do think ferries are fun," she replied with a smile.

"Well, I like them a lot, so you have to too," Jamie confidently stated. "I can't remember the last time I was in Sausalito, though. I think it's fun to do touristy things once in a while, don't you?"

"I'm learning that I do," Ryan admitted. "We didn't do a lot of touristy things when I was growing up, so a lot of this is new for me. Actually, I'm not sure I've ever really been to Sausalito. I mean, I've gone through it on the way to someplace else, but I don't think I've ever explored it. I'm really looking forward to it, Jamie. Thanks for taking me," she said happily.

The trip was almost too short for Ryan. She loved the feeling of the fresh breeze in her face, loved the smell of the sea and the feeling of the heavy air as she drew it into her lungs. Jamie just stood back a bit and watched all of Ryan's senses enjoy the trip.

When they arrived in Sausalito they unloaded the bikes and took off. It was around 10 o'clock and Ryan was hungry as usual, even though she had consumed a rather large breakfast. They found a little outdoor coffee shop right on the water and sat outside in the damp mist while they drank their hot lattés and ate warm muffins.

Ryan looked particularly adorable today. Several weeks ago Jamie accompanied her to the Patagonia store near Fisherman's Wharf to buy some new bike clothes. Ryan was making enough money now that she was able to bring her savings up to a comfortable level for the first time in years. She decided to splurge and buy several items that she had been lusting after for a long time.

Due to her fitness level Ryan sweated a ton when she rode her bike. She hated wearing cotton tshirts because the sweat just stuck to her body. She had always liked the silk weight underwear from Patagonia, but had never had the money to buy it. Now that she was slightly flush she was ready to shop.

She bought 3 silk weight tshirts that would pull moisture away from her body. She also bought 2 bike jerseys, one short sleeved and one sleeveless that would also wick her sweat away. She had a number of jerseys in her wardrobe but they were all from various races that she had entered and were covered with logos. She absolutely hated to be a walking billboard so the sedate little logo on the Patagonia tops were very welcome. Jamie had talked her into buying two sports bras made of the same type fabric. Her favorite purchase though, was the fluffy fleece jacket that she had on today. It was electric blue and toasty warm on this cool day. Under the jacket she wore a thin nylon vest in a brilliant yellow. This cut the wind and would be handy for wearing later in the day when the weather warmed up.

Jamie had purchased a fleece jacket for herself and a new jersey. Her jacket was a bright blue and green print that complemented her golden hair. Both women wore long black bike pants and their heavy off road shoes.

After watching the morning harbor traffic for a while
,
Jamie asked as casually as she could, "So, have you been dating anybody lately?"

"No, I haven't," Ryan said as she removed her gaze from the harbor and fixed it upon Jamie. "What do you think I do? Leave your house at 10 and go trolling for my nightly fix?"

"What about all those girls I've seen you around campus with?" she teased.

"I am polite, Jamie," she said seriously. "But just because I'm talking to women doesn't mean I'm sleeping with them," she said rather curtly as she picked up her trash and walked to the nearest bin to toss it away. When she returned her smile was back in place and she held a hand out to help Jamie to her feet.

As they got on their bikes Jamie asked gently, "Did I hurt your feelings, Ryan?"

"No. It's nothing. I'm just a little sensitive today. I'm in the throes of PMS and sometimes my mouth has a will of its own." As she rode away she turned to Jamie, "Thanks for asking though," she said with a sweet smile.

They rode for a long while in companionable silence. The trip to Muir Woods was rather arduous, but well worth the effort. The scenery was breathtaking as bit by bit the morning fog lifted and more of the scenery was revealed. Finally they reached their destination. Both women had doffed their jackets due to the exertion. Jamie had hers tied around her waist, but Ryan's was stowed in the pack that was securely attached to her bike. The packs also held a delicious picnic lunch they had purchased at a deli in Sausalito. Ryan had the honor of carrying all the food and drink since she was both the stronger rider and the bigger eater.

As they rode around Muir Woods, Jamie had to put her jacket back on. The path they were traveling was densely populated by some of the oldest and tallest coast redwoods in the state. The tall trees obscured the weak sun and made the path rather dark. It was still and quiet in the forest, the only sounds those made by the two women.

As they drew near Redwood Creek they got off their bikes and stood on the bank of the quick running stream. The sun was stronger now as it neared noon. It poked through the tall canopy of trees and cast deep shadows on the glistening creek. They decided to eat lunch so Ryan went to her packs and removed their purchases. She had brought a neatly folded reflective space blanket which she spread on the ground and the shiny metallic surface gathered what sun there was to warm them.

They sat and ate, mostly in silence, content to listen to the stream and the birds and the wildlife that surrounded them. After the remains of their meal were cleaned up and placed back in the pack Jamie looked up at Ryan with a little smile and said, "Guess what I want?"

"Hmm, let's see," she reflected as she tiled her head up. "What would a little pleasure hound want after a long ride and a big lunch? I would guess that you want either a leg massage or a little nap." She glanced over at her companion as she asked, "How did I do?"

"Pretty good," she admitted. "I choose the second option."

Ryan just shook her head and grinned at her friend as she scooted over to the nearest tree and patted her thigh, "Come on, Sleeping Beauty, it's time for your nap."

Jamie happily complied by crawling over to Ryan and lying down parallel to her stretched out legs. She lay her head on the Lycra covered thighs and moved around until she was comfortable. Ryan's hand dropped to rest on her golden hair and she began to run her fingers through the soft locks. "I don't think it's possible to feel more content than I do right now," she murmured as she heard Ryan begin to hum a slow soft tune.

She awoke after a short but very restful nap. She heard Ryan's rhythmic breathing and turned her head just enough to see her friend's head resting against the redwood bark, sound asleep.
Ohh, she looks so pretty, I want to scoot up there and kiss that beautiful mouth awake
, she thought longingly. In lieu of that
,
she just let the peaceful feeling wash over her as she lay there on Ryan's lap. She let herself drift off again and eventually woke as a blade of grass was drawn over her eyelids and lips. "Hey, no fair tickling me awake," she complained.

"How would you prefer to be woken up, Princess?" Ryan replied with a twinkle in her eyes.

I can think of a hundred different ways but they all involve your mouth and some level of nudity,
she thought. "I'll consider that and get back to you," she said with a grin as she sat up and stretched. "Oooh, my thighs did not appreciate that last hill." She turned to Ryan and smiled coquettishly, "Is it too late to order option one?"

"I hope you brought me here for more than my thighs and my hands," she playfully groused as she began to massage the stiff legs.

Well, those are two of the biggest reasons, but it's too early to talk about that,
she thought privately.

When the massage was complete they hopped back on the bikes and began the ride to Mount Tamalpais. Jamie had been here numerous times, but she had never experienced it in quite the way she did today. The feeling of slowly climbing the 2200 ft. hill was completely exhilarating. It really allowed her to test her aerobic capacity as well as the strength in her legs and her overall fitness. To her surprise she was quite pleased with the results. While the ride was clearly not easy she managed it with very little serious trouble.

The climb was made even more pleasant by the profusion of wildflowers that sprouted from every meadow and glen. This was a particularly spectacular year for the wildflower crop and she offered up a silent prayer of thanks that they had come to this place on this beautiful day.

They stopped frequently on the ride. At one point they spotted a family of deer in the distance and they stopped for a long while to watch them graze peacefully, seemingly unconcerned by the presence of humans. It was nearly 4 o'clock by the time they reached the peak. Daylight savings time would begin that night, but today the sun was scheduled to set at around 6 p.m. "I'm a little concerned that we're going to have trouble making it back while it's still light out," Ryan said as they paused to drink a bottle of water. "Are you up to starting back right away?"

"That was not really what I had in mind," Jamie replied. "I really wanted to stay up here for a while--maybe watch the sun set." She thought about the problem for a minute and then extracted her cell phone from her seat pack. "Let me see if I can resolve our little problem," she said mysteriously.

Moments later Jamie had booked the last remaining room at the Pelican Inn. This adorable little inn was near where Redwood Creek emptied into Muir Beach and it would take no more than 1/2 hour to ride there. Ryan was a little reticent to allow Jamie to pay for the room, but she was finally convinced when Jamie insisted that she was staying over whether Ryan did or not. Of course she did not mention that only the largest, most expensive room was still available and she had no plans to reveal that information later either.

They stood on the peak, alone in the waning sunlight. There were several large boulders and they climbed onto the biggest one to talk and watch the sunset. The view from the peak was stupendous with the huge panorama spread out in front of them. They could see for miles in all directions on this terribly clear afternoon. The fog was still off in the distance and the sun beat down, warming them on their rock.

Ryan was half reclining on the large stone, her torso supported by her forearms. Jamie gathered up her courage and did her best to calm her racing heart. She crawled around until she was sitting right next to her, facing her directly. "You're missing the beautiful view, Jamie," Ryan chided her.

"No, I'm not," she replied soberly. "I'm looking at the most beautiful view I ever hope to see," she said softly as her eyes locked onto Ryan's.

That clearly got her attention. Ryan sat up carefully, keeping her eyes on Jamie's. Her expression was open and very interested. She cocked her head just a tiny bit in question as she continued to stare into sea green eyes.

Jamie reached out and took each of Ryan's hands in hers. They sat directly in front of one another, crossed legs just touching at the knees. "Ryan, I've given a lot of thought to how I feel about you," she said in a very quiet voice. "And I know that I hurt you when I tried to go back to Jack. But I did that out of pure fear, Ryan. I never wavered in my desire for you. I was just too afraid to express it. But in a strange way that incident finally knocked some sense into me and made me face my true self. I know that you are the person that I love," she dropped one soft hand and reached out to touch an even softer pink cheek that began to tremble slightly under her fingertips.