Babies for Nikki (22 page)

Laurie reached out and held Nikki’s hand tightly. “Have you realized that Alexander and Butler are meant for you?”

“Stubborn, chauvinistic idiots!” Nikki snapped immediately.

“But you love them,” Laurie said, laughing.

Nikki hesitated then leaned back against the back of the couch, all fight leaving her. “This is happening way too fast. I just can’t deal with it.”

Laurie’s eyes held compassion for her friend. “I know, honey. But don’t be afraid. When you’re part of a triad, the feelings come fast and hard. It’s okay to love them already.”

Nikki sighed heavily, rubbing her eyes tiredly. “I do love them, damn it,” she finally admitted. “But I can’t let them know it. They have to know that they can’t treat me like a mindless slave. I will not do what they say just because they demand it. They have to understand that I have a choice in all that I do and all that I feel.”

“They will, Nikki,” Laurie told her softly. “Don’t give up on them. I know they’ll make you happy.”

Nikki looked at her best friend, all insecurity and hope expressed in her eyes. “I hope so,” she whispered. “I really do hope so.” She stared off into space as she thought, all her worries nearly crushing her.

Laurie could see the sadness that was overwhelming her and felt the need to comfort her friend. She remembered feeling the same sense of panic and confusion at her strong feelings for Jace and Jackson.

“What are you thinking, honey?”

Nikki shrugged slowly, unable to say anything. “Nothing,” she mumbled softly.

“Nikki, tell me.” Nikki looked at her with such pain in her eyes that Laurie couldn’t help but reach out to hold her tightly in her arms. “What, honey?”

“What if they don’t really want me? What if they just want my money?”

“They don’t even know about your money,” Laurie said immediately. “Don’t let your fears about that stop you from having the love you deserve. They are nothing like your ex-husband just like Jace and Jackson are nothing like mine.”

Nikki was quiet, thinking about so many things. Her head was filled with a riot of emotions. She was worrying and hoping at the same time that she could truly trust Alex and Butler and really have a future with them.

“I have to get back to Jace and Jackson,” Laurie interrupted her thoughts. “I just wanted to come and tell you about the accident and that the kids are coming here. They should be here shortly. Think about staying here and making a life with your men. I know you’ll be happy, and I couldn’t bear it if you went away. Please give them a chance to love you, honey.”

Nikki nodded, reaching forward to hug Laurie to her tightly before letting her go. Laurie smiled and walked from the room, leaving Nikki alone with her thoughts.

She got up and walked toward the bathroom. She was absolutely not showering because Alex and Butler demanded that she wash Drew’s scent from her body. She was showering because she needed to relax under the warmth of the water. She told herself that over and over as she scrubbed herself clean. As she stood under the soothing warmth and allowed the water to wash away her worries, she admitted to herself that she was not a very good liar.

* * * *

Nikki was cuddled under the blankets that covered their triad bed. She was physically exhausted, but it was her emotional state that was affecting her the most. She barely had any strength at all.

After going to the kitchen and eating the egg salad sandwich and macaroni salad that Martha had offered her, she had visited with her for about twenty minutes. She had wanted to make sure the older woman’s hand was fully healed. Once she had assured herself that Martha’s hand was as good as new, she had made her sit down at the kitchen table while she cleaned up after herself. Martha had made her laugh at her explanation of how her mates had taken care of her, making Nikki blush at the description of how they had spoiled Martha with love. It had been so nice to have been able to spend time with her.

Going back to the suite she had shared with Alex and Butler, she gave in to the exhaustion she was feeling. She needed the escape of sleep to give her tired mind a chance to rest. Even if she was only able to sleep for a little while, she would value the time to recoup and regenerate. She had some decisions to make.

She was not going to be forced into anything. She was going to choose what she wanted to do for the first time in her life. No one else’s opinions or needs would come before hers. She had to do what was right for her.

Try as she might, she couldn’t hold onto the intensity of her anger. She kept seeing Butler’s ice-blue eyes filled with compassion and desire. She saw the sweet expression on Alex’s face as he looked at her. Their memory of their kindness melted her anger. The way they had cherished her had broken the ice she had held around her heart for years. She was losing the battle of resistance. And it was all their fault. She grumbled to herself as her exhausted mind finally rested, and she slid into the healing oblivion of sleep.

* * * *

The feeling of the bed shifting on either side of her brought Nikki out of her slumber. She smelled them before she opened her eyes. Taking in a deep breath, she allowed their scents to fill her and satisfy a need in her that she couldn’t quite put into words. She just knew that waking up to these men and being filled by their scents and their love was exactly what she needed and wanted.

“How angry are you, honey?” Alex spoke softly against the left side of her face. He kissed her temple lightly before settling on the pillow close to her head.

“I’m pretty angry, Alex,” she whispered, not opening her eyes.

“Do you think we can convince you to forgive us?” Butler whispered against her right temple.

Nikki couldn’t stop the smile that spread across her lips. “Stop making me smile. I want to stay mad at you.”

Butler chuckled against her cheek, kissing her lightly. “I like when you get mad at us,” he whispered.

Nikki cracked an eye open, looking directly at Butler to see him smiling at her. “Now why in the hell would you like it when I get mad at you?” she asked him with exasperation. “I don’t like getting mad at you.”

“I don’t like it, either, baby,” Alex whispered against her ear, kissing just below her earlobe and biting down on her neck lightly. “I’m sorry for being jealous. We know you would never be unfaithful.”

“I never would, Alex,” she told him seriously, turning to face him, looking at him, and seeing the sorrow in his silver gray eyes. “How could I ever want anyone but you and Butler?”

She slowly faced Butler and saw the happiness her words had caused him. “Don’t be so smug. I’m still angry.”

“Good. Keep it that way,” Butler encouraged her. “We need you to let us know when we upset you. If you tell us, we can work together to fix whatever is wrong. If you walk away, you’ll take our hearts with you.”

Nikki didn’t know what to say to that. She knew deep in her heart that what Butler had just confessed was the absolute truth. She had a moment of panic as she realized that she really was the keeper of their hearts. How could she ever live with herself if she hurt these two wonderful men?

“What about you two?” she asked quietly. At their confused expressions she knew she had to explain. “If you don’t like the way I am and want me to leave, you need to tell me. If you think another woman would make you happy, I will step aside. I just want you to be honest with me.”

Their instant growls shut her up immediately. Their eyes flashed and glowed golden. She could feel their anger ramping up within them. Beneath their anger, she felt their pain and struggled to understand it.

Alex sat up beside her, looking down at her as he ran his right hand through his hair in frustration. He reached out and entwined the fingers of his left hand with hers and squeezed gently.

“Nikki, please listen to me,” he told her quietly, trying very hard to maintain his composure. “We don’t want any other woman. We want you. The three of us are triad mates. There is no other woman for us. Nothing and no one will ever come between us. Our lives are fated to exist together. We are destined to have a future together, and we would never hurt you or be unfaithful to you. Ever.”

Nikki looked up at him silently. She heard the honest emotions in his voice and saw the anguish in his eyes as he looked down at her. Butler’s movement beside her drew her attention. He sat up beside her silently, reaching out to draw the blankets down to her waist and resting his hand lightly on her hip.

“I know this is difficult for you to accept, Nikki,” he told her softly, rubbing his thumb soothingly against her hip, pushing up the T-shirt she wore so that his hand could caress her belly tenderly. “Try to understand that our relationship with you is something we’ve been waiting for our whole life. Everything about you is exactly what we need. You bring us such peace. I haven’t seen this big idiot so happy in a long time,” he added, nodding briefly at Alex.

“Hey!” Alex snapped, insulted.

“Tell me it’s not true,” Butler snapped right back at him. “Have you ever actually smiled on a regular basis before?”

Alex opened and closed his mouth several times, unable to form any words.

“No, you haven’t,” Butler answered for him. “You know you’ve finally had cause to smile because we’ve found our Nikki.”

Alex’s anger left him immediately as he turned to look down at the adorable woman who lay between them. “When you’re right, you’re right, Butler,” he admitted. He leaned forward until he was lying next to Nikki and held himself up on his forearm so that he could brush her soft black hair back from her face and pressed in to kiss her forehead lightly. Leaning back, he smiled down at her, his silver gray eyes twinkling with happiness. “The next time you call me an idiot, you and I are going outside to have a serious conversation,” he threatened Butler without ever taking his eyes off of Nikki.

Butler’s bark of laughter drew Nikki’s attention, and she couldn’t help but smile at him. “You deserve a serious beat down for insulting him, Butler,” she told him firmly. “Don’t ever tease him like that again.”

“Yes, dear,” Butler agreed, leaning forward to kiss her lightly. “I’m sorry, Alex,” he whispered against the side of Nikki’s neck, kissing her gently before biting down on her neck. “Alex knows I think he is one of the smartest and strongest men I know, sweetness. I just like to give him a hard time every once in a while,” he told her honestly, kissing her neck once again before turning and sucking up a mark on her shoulder.

Nikki moaned as she arched into Butler’s kiss. She could feel Alex’s chuckle as he leaned against her to pay the other side of her neck the same attention.

“Are you guys always going to get out of fights with me by trying to seduce me?” she whispered, laughing lightly as the two men hummed their positive answers against her neck.

“Sounds good to me,” Alex whispered in her ear, rubbing his nose against the softness of her hair as he leaned against her and kissed her jaw.

“Okay, enough,” she whispered, her voice hoarse with passion. “I’ve got to go downstairs to check on Laurie’s kids. They should be here by now.” She pushed at their shoulders lightly and was relieved when they leaned away from her without hesitation.

“One kiss for each of us, and we’ll do whatever you want us to do,” Butler bargained, smiling down at her.

“Oh, I know you,” Nikki told them, laughing. “One kiss will lead to another, and then we’ll be naked, and before you know it I’ll be unable to think of anything but how you feel deep inside of me.”

Alex smiled a cocky smile. “Do we feel good deep inside of you?”

“Oh, yeah,” she answered immediately.

Butler laughed out loud. “Nikki, you are absolutely perfect,” he told her, chuckling.

Alex smiled at the adorable blush that heated Nikki’s face. “When we’re deep inside of you, you feel wonderful, too, darlin’.”

“Yeah?” she whispered.

“Yeah,” Alex told her quietly, leaning forward to claim her mouth tenderly.

“Absolutely,” Butler whispered against her cheek, kissing her lightly. “When I’m deep inside of you I feel like I’m home.”

Nikki’s heart swelled with happiness. Never in her life had there been a more perfect moment.

A vision of the three of them sitting up in their bed, snuggled together as they held two infants who nursed at Nikki’s breasts, flashed through Nikki’s mind. She knew both men had seen what she had seen as they leaned back and looked down at her, smiling. She could sense their happiness and feel their love.

“We shared your previous vision of you giving birth to our daughter and son, Nikki,” Alex told her tenderly.

“And we just saw you nursing our beautiful cubs,” Butler told her seriously, his voice suspiciously hoarse.

Nikki was about to deny it, but she saw how happy it made both men. She remained silent, not knowing what else to do. How could she deny the visions? They had seen them just as she had. She didn’t understand all of this vision business, but it was really starting to get to her. How was she going to deny their future if they kept seeing visions together?

Nikki girl, you are in some serious trouble now.

She told her conscience to shut up, but it just laughed at her. There was no denying it. Drew’s and Carter’s sad advice about not ignoring or denying her mates echoed through her mind. She kept seeing the sadness that encompassed both men, and she knew she would sentence Alex and Butler to the same fate if she chose to deny them. She would be making a decision that was going to affect the lives of three people. Well, five people if she counted the twins.