Beautiful Dream (9 page)

I end up calling Luke. I don’t want to be alone right now.

“Hey hun!”

“Hi,” my voice shakes. “Can you come over?”

“Oh,” his cheery mood disappears. “What’s wrong?”

I wish he would just come and not ask.

“My Dad has… I just found out my Dad has can-” I can’t even get the word out. “Please, just come over.”

“Shit,” he sighs. “I can’t. This is my busy day with class. The semester only just started. I can come over tonight though?”

“No,” I weep. “Now, please,” I urge.

“Luci,” he sighs. “I’m sorry. It’ll be okay. Whatever it is. I’ll be over later. I’m sorry.”

I hang up the phone, and my head hits my pillow as wetness soaks the sheets.

My tears won’t stop, and I soon get up and take an allergy pill; three of them, hoping it’ll help me forget. Maybe I’ll wake back up realizing this was one of those bad dreams.

Deep down, I know it’s not, and I can’t stop replaying the word in my mind; each time creating a new gash until my eyes feel so heavy that everything goes black.

Cancer.

I feel a stir next to me, and there’s a knocking sound in the distance. I open my eyes, blinking until everything comes into focus. I see Ren’s back as she gets up, hearing the knocking too.

“I’ll get it, and I’ll get you more water.”

I nod, pinching my nose, remembering waking up late morning as the bad news flooded my mind all over again, and Ren, hearing my sobs, coming in and trying to comfort me.

I sit up just as Ren walks back in with water. “Um… you have a visitor,” she hesitates, and for a second I think its Luke, surprising me and skipping class after all, but I see
his
worried face, dark hair, and blue eyes, and relief washes over me.

“Josh,” I whisper, and he all but runs to my side, scooping me up before sitting us down. I wrap my arms around his neck as he brushes my messy strands behind my ear, and I notice the clock in the corner; it’s just past one. I missed class today, and shouldn’t he be in school?

“I’ll leave you two alone,” Ren backs out of the room, closing the door behind her.

“Shouldn’t you be in school?” I hiccup.

“I got your message right after first period. I had them get me a sub.”

I bury my face in his chest. “You just came here, without even knowing why.”

“Luci,” he coos, and his arms trace a soothing pattern on my back while his mouth rests against my hair. “You said you needed me. I don’t need a reason why.”

I bawl.

He slowly starts rocking us back and forth, and when I calm down enough, I tell him my horrible news.

“Oh, Luci,” he whispers. I can’t see his face, but I can feel it fall, hurting for me. “Your Mom said it seems minuscule. That could be a decent scenario. Don’t loose hope. Never lose hope.”

“I want to call him - to talk to him. To ask how his test went this morning, even though they won’t know anything yet.” I pick my head up, wincing at my tearstain on his shirt. “I’m scared to show him how upset I am. I can’t imagine what he’s going through and what he’s feeling.”

He offers a soft smile as his thumbs brush under my eyes, wiping the wetness away.

“Don’t jump to conclusions yet,” he strokes my hair. “I’m sure he’d love to hear from you, even if you talk about something else entirely.”

“I want to go home.”

“Then that’s where I’ll take you,” he immediately offers, grabbing my hands before sliding me off of his lap.

Chapter 4

-Josh-

Luci grabs a large duffel bag from under her bed and starts throwing clothes into it. I can’t help but look around her room, trying to come up with something that will take her mind off of her pain.

A loud thump causes me to look back at her, and she’s crouched over, crying again. I slide my arms around her slender waist, yelling at myself for how much I’m enjoying holding her this close at a time like this.

Always so selfish!

“I can’t go home,” I barely make out her mumbled words.

“What? Why?” I pull back, grabbing her face so she looks at me.

“I can’t have you drive me,” she starts shaking her head in my hands, and I can’t help my thumbs as they caress her soft cheeks. Even crying she’s beautiful.

“Of course you can,” I whisper.

“But-”

“For once, Luci,” I try not to upset her. “Just listen to me and don’t argue.”

“How will I get back?”

“I’ll drive you back on Sunday, or Monday, or later tonight if all it is you want is to just see him for a little bit,” I make sure she understands.

“You would do that?” She swallows her shock.

“I would do anything for you.” I let her go, bending down to pick up her bag. “Anything else you need?”

“Yeah,” she sniffs. “That pile of clothes over there.”

I grab the t-shirts and other items she points to. Her bras and underwear don’t go unnoticed, but I try to ignore them as I shove the items into her bag before zipping it up. She throws a couple of things into her popup hamper before reaching for it.

“This too?” I beat her to it.

“Yeah.”

“I got it,” I easily grab the basket and walk out of her room, waiting for her to shut the door.

“Ren!” She shouts, and her roommate pokes her head out of her room. “I’m leaving.”

“Okay,” Ren hesitates, looking from Luci to me, and I can’t tell if she hates me or not, not that that matters right now.

“Josh is going to take me home, so my car will be here.”

“What should I tell… people… if they come by?” She eyes Luci.

“You can tell
Luke
that I went home.”

“I’ll take this out and bring the car around,” I offer, not wanting to hear about her boyfriend. As if I didn’t hate the guy already. Which, by the way, why isn’t he here? Then again, if he were I may not be, so actually, maybe I don’t hate him so much after all.

No, scratch that, I still do.

I bring the car around front, thinking about all the times after school that I’ve wanted to throw Luci over my shoulder and drive away with her. I never imagined where to - just away - alone together, where we could be
us,
and where we wouldn’t be frowned upon.

Of course, I hated myself whenever I thought about it, like the sick pervert I was for wanting to do such things with a student, not to mention wanting to creepily capture her like some beast and hide her away in my non-existent castle.

At least she’s not my student anymore.

We’re quiet as I find my way off campus, which is a lot easier to do in the daytime than it was the other night.

“Is the temperature okay?” I finally break the silence, and when she doesn’t answer, I look over. Her hair is wild and messy; her skin pale and flawlessly clear. I always loved her with no makeup on. Her hands are balled in her lap, shaking, as her tearstained face looks out of the window, like she’s too fragile to move or speak. I almost run a stop sign, and she looks my way once the car stops unusually short.

“Sorry,” I muster an apologetic smile. I want to tell her that it’s going to be okay, but I can’t lie to her.

Without thinking, I raise my right arm, reaching out and run my hand through her thick hair. I hold my breath, because I don’t know if what I’m doing is okay.

Luci is always full of surprises, though, and I feel the weight of her head as she leans into my hand. My fingers lightly grab hold of her strands as my thumb grazes her upper neck. I feel her relax, and we drive the entire four hours back to New York just like this.

I can’t feel my right arm. I think it fell asleep around hour two, but she’s just so content that I don’t want to move it.

We drive through town, passing my apartment, the restaurant where we went to dinner, the school, and finally down a few more roads until I’m pulling onto her street.

She sits up, and looks over at me.

“You know the way?”

“I may have done some snooping around of my own in the past,” I smile, keeping my eyes on the road.

She doesn’t say anything, and when I look at her out of the corner of my eye, I see the side of her mouth turn up.

“Do you want help with your stuff?” I ask, pulling into her driveway.

“It’s okay,” she sighs. “I got it.”

I put the car in park and we sit for a minute, unmoving.

“You can do this,” I tell her, but she gives me a look of uncertainty.

“What’s the name of the place for your sister’s party? It’s tomorrow, right?”

“Oh no, Luci,” I shake my head. “I don’t expect you to still come.”

“You don’t want me to?” Her face falls.

“Of course I do!” I give her an encouraging smile. “More than anything, but I know you have more important things on your mind right now.”

She nods, but I don’t deny her. I give her the name of the country club anyway. “You don’t have a car here, so I can pick you up,” I offer. “Only if you want to, though, and I
really
understand if you don’t. Just text me.”

“Thanks,” she squeezes my hand, and I have to physically stop myself from reaching out and pulling her closer.

“You need to get out of the car now.” I let her go, but she still doesn’t move.

“Right,” she nods again.

When I look up, I spot Gracie, halfway down the walkway. Luci follows my stare, and that does it. Her eyes well up as she opens the door, running to meet her sister in a hug that almost knocks them both over.

I end up getting out of the car too. I unpack Luci’s things, leaving them at the end of the walkway, and Gracie gives me a small wave as I back out.

On Saturday, I don’t hear from Luci, and I don’t want to bother her. She’s obviously with her family, and while I’m disappointed, I understand. Still, it’s not pleasant being at this party, namely being around my parents and their friends. I can’t go a time without seeing them where they don’t leave it be that Holly and I divorced, because to them, we were a match made in heaven. To make matters worse, their friends keep apologizing, like my divorce was a bad thing, which is then followed by them letting me know they have a daughter I should meet.

My last five conversations have been like bookwork, and I can’t run away fast enough.

“Deb,” I catch her by the arm as she’s walking by. “Excuse me,” I smile at the ladies I was just talking to, passing between their gowns that are bigger than they are. “This is horrible,” I whisper.

Deb’s waving to everyone, gritting her teeth, smiling, and just as I look away I spot Lisa, the date I stood up last weekend.

“You invited Lisa?” I groan.

“Yes, did you not just go on a date with her?” She meets my eye. “I was trying to be polite, since you weren’t and didn’t invite her.”

“I stood her up,” I wave to Lisa from across the way.

“God, Josh, you can be such an asshole!” Deb waves to another couple walking by as I roll my eyes. “Why don’t you hang out with Victoria?” She asks. “She’s looking pretty tonight.”

“Not a good idea,” I shake my head, pushing aside the bad memories of her coming on too strong. “Plus, she’s hanging out with Holly, which by the way, thanks for warning me that she actually RSVP’d yes.”

“It’s Mom and Dad,” she sighs. “You know I would never.”

“I know,” I sigh. “This is just the worst!”

“Hey,” She stops me, and I bite my tongue. “This is still my engagement party!”

“Sorry,” I mumble.

“And way to really have a date like you had said?” She raises her eyebrows. “I knew it was a lie!”

“I did,” I run my fingers through my hair. “Something came up and she couldn’t make it. Family emergency.”

“Right,” Deb rolls her eyes. I know she doesn’t believe me, and I’m about to defend myself, but I decide not to bother.

“I should finish schmoozing,” she laughs, and her expression changes. “Hey isn’t that Luci Cunningham? From the high school?”

I follow her stare and my jaw nearly drops when I see her. She’s a vision, with her hair to the side, twisted and hanging over one shoulder, wearing a pale, flowing dress. It’s not tight, but it’s also not like the ridiculous ball gowns everyone else has on. The top is silver and sparkles, just like her eyes. She’s breathtaking.

“She was a student,” Deb explains, mistaking my shock for confusion, as if I don’t remember her.

“Yeah,” I’m in a daze, watching as a waiter approaches her, offering a glass of champagne.

“Well she’s grown up,” Deb comments. “I wonder who she knows?”

“Yeah?” I don’t really register her words, and I find myself smiling, watching as the waiter says something to Luci. She laughs in response, lighting up brighter than the fucking sun. She looks up and meets my gaze, and my smile widens.

“Why is she looking at you like that?” I sense Deb’s confusion in the background.

“Yeah,” I absentmindedly respond.

“Josh?” My sister’s familiar voice takes me out of my moment, and I finally look at her.

“Why is she looking at you like that?” She demands, but my gaze immediately returns to the gorgeous girl at the other end of the tent, where I can’t pinpoint what it is exactly, but something about her entirely illuminates my world.

“Josh?” Deb shoves at me.

“What?” I answer, but my eyes don’t leave Luci’s.

“Why is she looking at you like that?” She demands, harshly this time.

“I guess,” I swallow hesitantly. “Because she always looks at me like that.” I shrug, because I’ll never understand why.

“Wait,” Deb’s shocked voice cracks. “Why are you looking at HER like that?”

I turn back to Deb and wink, before heading towards Luci, because I’ve already been away from her for far too long.

“What don't I know?” Deb’s eyes widen. “Josh? Josh!” Her voice gets lower as I get further, and I don’t stop until I’m standing directly in front of my very own person sun.

“Hi,” I smile, as she takes a sip of the champagne, and I can’t help the way my eyes wander all over her body, exploring her. It takes me all that I have to control my rapidly growing hard on, because her in
that dress
has me loosing control. “You are,” I fathom, trying to find the right words to accurately tell her how wonderful she looks. “The most exquisite person I have ever met.”

She blushes a wonderful color.

“Why is your sister staring daggers at me?”

I look over at Deb before focusing back on Luci. “It’s me, not you.”

“Oh... Okay?” She asks, confused.

“I think she just found out that I have a massive crush on you.” I smile, and her laugh is like music to my ears.