becoming us (30 page)

“Tests?” Perry took another drink of beer, giving Zac a blank, baffled look.

“Tests.” Zac rubbed his toes against the back of his other leg, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“Like, so we can ditch the condoms. You know.”

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Perry’s beer got stuck halfway down and he sputtered, but then managed to swallow. “You guys went and... really.” He sagged back against the fridge and sighed. “Oh, Christ, you guys
are
serious. Both of you.”

“Both of us.” Zac slumped against the counter. Really, really serious. “He’s gonna give up his family for me, man. That serious. Could you... Do you think you could just maybe forgive him for hurting your feelings last year? Please?”

Perry let his head fall back on the fridge with a noise of frustration, then he drained the beer and put the bottle on the counter beside him. “Yes.” He dragged the word out. “I’m not a hypocrite.

With it taking me ‘til senior year to come out and all. I just... now I wish I’d said something instead of just writing him off. I mean, he was practically my little brother. I feel like shit now.”

“You had your own shit to deal with.” They all had. Perry, and Zac, and even Bryce, though Zac and Perry hadn’t realized it at the time. Zac knew better now, though.

“Yeah, well...” Perry pushed away from the fridge and came over to take Zac by the shoulders, gently, He bowed his head and nudged at Zac’s forehead with his nose. “I just want you to be okay, Zac. I’m sorry for being pissed. Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” Zac tipped his head back, grinning up at Perry. “A little cockblocked, thanks, but I’m okay. He loves me, Perry. I’m better than just okay.” He was fucking fantastic.

“Okay. Tell me if it changes.” Perry stroked his cheek and kissed him on the forehead. “Now, get out of here. I don’t want any cockblocking on my conscience; it might come back to haunt me.” He stepped away, drawing Zac with him, only to aim Zac down the hall and smack him on the ass. “I’ll be here in the morning. On the couch, since it’s not like I can share with someone now.” Zac laughed and headed for the stairs. “Hey, man, good luck sleeping. That cushion on the right’s a bitch. Somebody must’ve broke it at the back to school party, or something, ‘cause I swear, that spring wasn’t there before.” His whole body flooded with relief, Zac padded up the stairs. “Have fun at the party!” Now he just had to convince Bryce that everything was okay.

***

Zac stood there in the doorway to his room and stared at the empty bed. Shit. Couldn’t Bryce have just stayed there, just for a little while?

If Bryce had left the house, Zac would’ve seen him go. Feeling helpless, he headed for Bryce’s room. He just hoped Bryce hadn’t locked him out. Physically
or
emotionally.

He knocked lightly, and then tried the knob. Relief washed over him as it turned and the door opened, revealing Bryce curled up on his bed, looking miserable.

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“Hey.” Zac slipped into the room. He closed and locked the door behind him. No surprises this time.

“Hi.” Bryce bit his lip for a moment, then asked, “Everything okay?” He looked like he was terrified of the answer.

“Yeah.” Zac shuffled a little further into the room, gauging Bryce’s reaction. “Yeah, it’s cool.

Perry’s cool. He just, you know, he was confused. But he’s not going to say anything to anybody. He understands.”

Bryce didn’t look much happier. “Okay.” He wasn’t actually
freaking out
, which was good. He wasn’t doing anything else but staring at the crumpled blankets under his feet, which wasn’t nearly as good. Maybe he was thinking. “He can’t be too happy with me right now,” he finally said, quietly.

“He understands,” Zac repeated. He gave in and came over to sit on the bed beside Bryce.

“Dude. It took him ‘til senior year to come out. He knows how hard it can be.”

“Yeah. I don’t think he dropped by for the beer, Zac.” Bryce gave Zac a look that might have been exasperated, but it just came off tired. He ran a hand through his hair and let his head fall back against the wall.

“He came to see his friends.” Zac wriggled up onto the bed and sat with his back to the wall. “To see you and me.”

“You’re cute when you’re being dumb,” Bryce said with a sigh. “You know, I was hoping when he showed up that he’d forgiven me for being such a jerk last year. I knew it bugged him. I’m not completely insensitive.” He tugged at a thread fraying at the cuff of his jeans. “As long as he doesn’t say anything, I guess that’s all that matters.”

Christ
. “Yes, you were a shit last year, but not the whole time; it wasn’t the end of the world.

Yes, it bugged him. But we talked. He gets it.” Zac sighed and leaned over to bump his shoulder against Bryce’s. “C’mon. You think he never freaked out about anybody else coming out? He’s a good guy, but he’s not perfect. He’s done his share of stupid shit. He
gets it
. Really.” He frowned, replaying Bryce’s words. “And I’m not being dumb.”

“Uh-huh.” Bryce gave Zac a weary look, arching his brows. “I know what he’s not getting.” He reached out for Zac to pull Zac into his lap.

Zac let himself be pulled into Bryce’s lap, straddling his boyfriend’s hips. He rested his forehead against Bryce’s. “No, he’s not. I doubt he wants it anyway, man.” Zac laughed and shook his head a little. “I’m not really his type. It was just a... a thing.” He waved one hand dismissively, then dipped his head to press a kiss to Bryce’s lips. “Not like you and me.”
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“I know.” Bryce gave Zac hungry little kisses, almost nipping his lips, and Bryce’s hands cupped his ass. “We’re special.” His voice broke. “God, I hate this, Zac.” He pulled back to look Zac in the eye. “I hate hiding. I spent my whole life being so scared, Zac, and now that the thing I was so scared of happened and it turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me, I still hafta be scared. And that’s... I deserve better than that, Zac... I think...” He looked so uncertain.

Oh, Bryce.
Zac kissed his forehead, then rested his cheek against it. “Of course you do. You deserve to be happy.”

“Being with you...” Bryce nuzzled into the curve of Zac’s neck. “You got me in a corner, man,

‘cause if I leave you, you’ll be sad, and if I’m having a shitty life and you’re with me, you’ll be sad, so the only thing left is for me to be happy, if I’m gonna be good for you. I wanna be happy, Zac, not scared. I’m sorry for freaking out.”

“It’s okay.” Zac pulled back, getting his hands on Bryce’s face and making Bryce look at him.

“It’s
okay
. All of it. You didn’t
choose
to be scared of this stuff. You didn’t ask for people to make you feel like this. I’m not gonna push. There’s no rush, man. You gotta do things when you’re ready.” And Zac, Zac had to restrain himself from going to bitch out every single member of Bryce’s family who’d fucked him up like this. God, he hated them. All of them.

“I know.” Bryce looked like he’d had a day that was way too long; it felt like yesterday that they’d been kissing out in the cold backyard and riding high because Bryce could stay. “I love you so much, Zac. My life is so much better because of you.” And just like that, all the anger slipped away. There was nothing in the world like hearing Bryce say ‘I love you’ and say it to
him
. Zac smiled. “I love you, too.” He slid his fingers back into Bryce’s hair.

“I don’t care who knows,” Bryce whispered, his eyes fluttering closed with Zac’s touches. “I just want it to be our choice.” He sighed and relaxed visibly, his shoulders slumping. “You wanna have dinner? Maybe grab some pizza they left downstairs, some more beer? They won’t be back for a while. We could just... hang out, you know?”

“Yeah.” It was good to see Bryce starting to relax. “Yeah, that sounds good.” Zac leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to Bryce’s forehead, then his lips. “Let’s go.” He slipped off Bryce’s lap and off the bed, then held out a hand. “C’mon.”

Bryce slipped his hand into Zac’s and wriggled off the bed. Once he was standing, he wrapped his arms around Zac and pulled him close. His breath was warm on Zac’s cheek as he murmured,

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Zac. Ever since we met.” Zac could’ve been so much better for Bryce if he’d only stopped and
thought
about what he was doing last year, and he knew it. He never forgot. Talking to Perry had just brought it to the forefront of his mind again. He hugged Bryce tightly and said, “Me, too.” Zac kissed Bryce’s cheek and just held on for a moment. “C’mon,” he said finally. “Let’s go eat.”
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***

An hour later, Bryce and Zac were sprawled on the floor of Zac’s room with their back to the bed, full of pizza and beer. Zac had his head on Bryce’s shoulder and, even though Bryce had to get both arms around Zac to use the controller, Bryce was kicking his ass at Formula One Racing.
Voom
. Bryce blew past Zac and under the checkered flag and cackled victoriously.

“You,” he said, punctuating his point with kisses to Zac’s neck, “are not a good enough handicap.” He’d almost forgotten the awfulness of nearly falling apart when Perry walked in on them. He kept trying to push it away and he was being mostly successful. Kissing Zac’s neck and nuzzling behind his ear was helping.

“That’s ‘cause you keep doing that thing you do to my neck, distracting me,” Zac complained. “I can’t concentrate when you’re doing that.” Far from pulling away, though, Zac was tilting his head and baring his neck to Bryce’s mouth.

The game went into demo mode while Bryce kept kissing. “Good.” One hand slid down to rub over the fly of Zac’s jeans and lower, rubbing to feel Zac’s balls and cock through the denim. He dropped the controller and slid his hand up under Zac’s shirt to rub his fingers over one of Zac’s nipples. Then he bit down on Zac’s neck with a little growl to get him to move. God, he loved feeling Zac move, all sexy and heated up.

Zac’s controller clattered to the floor between his feet and one hand came up to tangle in Bryce’s hair, holding Bryce’s mouth against his neck. “Yeah. Fuck, yeah. I love it when you do that.” His other hand slid down to cover Bryce’s hand between his legs as his hips came up, pressing his cock more firmly against Bryce’s palm.

“Which?” God, Bryce had been so hot for Zac right before Perry walked in. Not thinking about that. No. Thinking about feeling Zac’s cock swell, trapped in his jeans. Fuck, fuck, fuck, that was hot. He slid his hand over it. “That?” He groaned and bit Zac under the ear. “That?”

“
Yeah
.” Zac shuddered, his hips coming up again and his fingers tightening in Bryce’s hair.

Okay, nothing was better than this except maybe sex, but sex... well, it was better because it was driving Zac crazy and getting Zac off
and
getting off himself. “Sure...” Bryce rubbed his thumb over Zac’s half-hard cock and then fumbled for the button and the zipper of Zac’s fly. He couldn’t help moaning against Zac’s neck as he peeled the jeans open and saw Zac’s dick straining against his briefs. “So hot.” He hooked his thumb under the waistband and pulled it away slowly, muffling his moans by biting and sucking hard under Zac’s ear. His other hand slipped down Zac’s belly and dipped under the briefs, teasing at Zac’s heated flesh.

“Tease,” Zac accused, his laughter coming out like soft moans. “God, your fucking
mouth
, man.

Your
hands
.”

“You are so fuckin’ hot, Zac.” Bryce could see it now, could see how he’d been deliberately
not
looking. “Love you.” Bryce pushed Zac’s pants down as far as he could and let his hand play
Becoming Us - 156

over Zac’s gorgeous, dark cock. Fuck. He couldn’t sit still; his own cock was aching, and he shifted against Zac for a little relief. He could wait, though. He wanted to wait so he could watch Zac.

Zac arched up and shoved his jeans and briefs down around his knees, then settled down with his legs spread as wide as they’d go. His shirt bunched at his waist, pooling over Bryce’s hand.

Grumbling a little, he sat back up and stripped it off, throwing it toward the hamper in the corner.

When he settled back this time, he was mostly bare.

Bryce couldn’t stifle the growl that rose up in his throat at the sight of all that dark, warm skin being bared; the sound startled him, how possessive and feral it was. He wrapped his arms around Zac and bit the curve of Zac’s neck with another growl. “So hot. Oh, God.” He got both hands on Zac’s cock and balls, one hand stroking the shaft and the other getting a gentle handful of Zac’s balls.

“I want you,” Zac whispered, his hands sliding up the outsides of Bryce’s thighs, clenching a little with each stroke of Bryce’s hand over his dick. “Wanna feel you in me. Like before. Just you.”

“I want it.” Bryce could hardly breathe. “I want to make you feel good, Zac. Just... tell me how you want me.” He slipped two fingers down between Zac’s asscheeks to stroke over the soft, crinkled skin he knew was so sensitive.

Zac’s head fell back against Bryce’s shoulder as he arched, moaning. “Like that.” He caught his breath and writhed against Bryce’s fingers. “I want. I want your mouth.” He growled softly, one hand coming down to wrap around his cock, lacing their fingers together, making Bryce stroke him faster, tighter. “God, Bryce. Ever since you said... I keep thinking about it. I want your mouth on me, your tongue in me, fucking me.”

Bryce’s breath caught at the thought; he’d been fantasizing about it for so long, more since Zac had done it to him. “Yes,” he whispered, nuzzling at Zac’s ear. “Yes, yes. Fuck, I just want...” He circled his fingers, thinking about how it would feel to have his tongue in their place, driving Zac crazy, and the image made him moan. “...I want
everything
with you.”

“Please,” Zac breathed, shivering. “I’m. I want.” His hips moved, fucking his cock into the tight circle of their joined hands. His breath came fast and harsh, and the pre-come slicking their hands said he was getting close already. “Please.”