becoming us (32 page)

Bryce kissed him back, pouring everything he felt into their kisses. Zac was so warm and willing, opening up for his gentle touches so easily. When he pulled his hand away, he slicked his hard cock, getting it ready for his lover. He didn’t have to stop kissing to shift to kneeling between Zac’s thighs, braced on one elbow, that arm cradling Zac’s shoulders.

Zac’s sleepy mumbling turned into soft moans. His free hand found Bryce’s hip and he drew his knees up, arching. “Want you.”

“Yeah.” Bryce wiped his hand on the sheets so that he could cup Zac’s hip, lifting Zac to meet him. As sleepy as they both were, they found each other easily and Bryce moaned against Zac’s lips as his cock pressed in slowly.

Fingers tightening in Bryce’s hair, Zac nipped at Bryce’s lips and then kissed him deeply. They fit together perfectly and once Bryce was deep inside Zac, nestled right against him, he nuzzled against Zac’s cheek and just breathed in how close they were in every way. Zac was so soft and warm; he smelled musky and sweet.

Zac untangled one hand from Bryce’s hair and stroked his back, fingers tracing the curves of rib.

His touches were gentle, almost delicate.

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Bryce sighed, letting his forehead rest on Zac’s shoulder. He moved without knowing it at first, rocking slowly and arching into Zac’s touches. Everything was so good; better than he’d imagined. The warmth of their bed, the softness of Zac’s breath, the barely-there daylight making everything glow; it was all
right
.

Bryce knew Zac liked it hard, but the little noises he was making didn’t sound like complaints.

They sounded like purring, soft and pleased.

Bryce loved sex with Zac more than with anyone he’d been with before. It wasn’t that it had been a chore, but it had felt more like he had a job to do than anything else. Step by step, get it done. Like writing a paper. With Zac, it was like base jumping or surfing or... anything real and just because it felt so good and even scary sometimes. Bryce moved a little faster, moaning with pleasure, and kissed Zac’s neck over and over.

Zac’s noises got deeper, rougher. His fingers in Bryce’s hair clenched tight and he growled Bryce’s name, sounding so incredibly turned on. Bryce had done that to him, made him feel that good.

“Oh, God,” Bryce breathed. “I love that.” He moved to kiss Zac on the mouth, hard, until he couldn’t breathe, and then he pulled back to look at Zac lying under him. He was fucking Zac with long, steady strokes that rippled through Zac’s body. “I love turning you on. I love making you come. I can’t... God, Zac, I still can’t believe it sometimes, that you want me that much.” Zac opened his mouth to answer, but Bryce’s cock hit him just right inside and all that came out was a moan. After a moment, he caught his breath and said, “So much, Bryce.” He writhed, his body tightening around Bryce’s dick. “Want you so much.”

“I love giving you what you want.” It was especially good because Zac was so damn self-sufficient. Hell, Zac held Bryce together most of the time. “I loved doing that last night,” Bryce whispered, feeling his cheeks heat. “You were so, so hot, Zac.” Zac’s gaze dropped to Bryce’s mouth and he nodded a little. “Yeah. I never... It felt so good.” He bit his lip and dragged his gaze back up to meet Bryce’s eyes with visible effort. “I liked it. Your mouth. It was incredible.”

Bryce shifted his hand from Zac’s hip, sliding it under him so that his fingers were stroking where his cock was pushing in, feeling that skin taut and slick now. Thinking about it was making him all hot and breathless. “Yeah.” Bryce closed his eyes a moment, remembering how good it had felt, remembering the feeling of Zac opening up for him. “The way you just...” he panted. “God, just opened up for me.” He opened his eyes again and looked down at Zac, fucking him harder now and groaning with it.

Eyes widening, breath catching in his throat, Zac gave a choked-off moan. “Yeah. I want.

Again.” He groaned, his body clenching around Bryce’s cock. “Love it when you touch me. So good.”

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“Love touching you,” Bryce said breathlessly. It was getting harder to talk, especially with the way Zac’s body answered his. “I... this. Better than I imagined.” They were so close, close at the heart and the head and not just the body.

Zac’s back arched and his hand slipped down to grip Bryce’s ass. “Yes. You. Please.”

“Anything.” Bryce held Zac close, feeling every thrust echoed in the ripple of pleasure that went through his lithe body. Bryce’s breath came with little moans and gasps now; in the back of his head he knew they were still being so quiet, but the noises filled what little space there was between them completely. Bryce bit his lip to keep himself focused on Zac, moving hard to give what Zac was pleading for.

“Yeah.” Zac pulled Bryce down, closing the distance between them, angling his mouth over Bryce’s for a deep, slow kiss. Zac’s moans got sharper, muffled by the kisses as Bryce moved inside him.

Bryce gave Zac one slow, intense kiss after another without hesitation, opening up to him completely, still moving hard and steady. Bryce might have been the one on top, but he was Zac’s, without reservations. All he wanted was this: to give himself up, to be taken in and held and loved, and to be able to believe it fully. That was the heart of the fantasy; the reality was all that and more.

And then he wasn’t the one on top anymore. “Over,” Zac whispered against Bryce’s lips, clenching around Bryce’s dick in a way that did little to help Bryce focus on what Zac was saying. “Roll over. I wanna make you come.”

Once the words sank in, Bryce tumbled them over so that Zac could have him, eager for it.

“Yes,” he panted, once he was on his back. He let his hands fall to the pillow, above his head, palms up, but he planted his feet firmly so that he could keep moving, pushing up to meet Zac’s body.

Zac smiled. “You look so good like that.” He leaned over Bryce, lacing their fingers together and pinning Bryce to the bed, and then he moved. Zac rode Bryce’s cock deep and fast, pressing his mouth to Bryce’s neck to muffle the noises he made with each thrust.

Bryce swallowed a cry and clenched Zac’s hands, back arching. He wanted to scream Zac’s name until his voice gave out, but instinct kept him quiet at the last moment. It took all of what little control he had left not to wake the whole house, leaving him at the mercy of Zac’s demands. Whining through clenched teeth, he came in a rush of pleasure that made him buck and shake as he surrendered to it.

Something about Bryce coming seemed to turn Zac on even more. He moved faster, writhing, almost grinding himself down onto Bryce’s cock, and he was shivering all over as his breathing grew more and more uneven.

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When Bryce could speak without wailing profanity and Zac’s name, his words spilled out in whispers as the last of his orgasm rippled through him. At first, Bryce wasn’t even sure who was speaking; he didn’t know he could think the things he was saying, “Fuck me, fuck me, Zac...

want you so much, want you to have me again, want you over me, hold me down, let me lick you, kiss you, fuck you... want to make you come like that again, want you to ride me, please, Zac... God, please, please come, let me see you come... on me, Zac, wanna be yours, please...” He couldn’t stop babbling, but hearing his inner thoughts rush out didn’t scare him; Zac could know it all.

Bryce could feel Zac’s teeth dig into the side of his neck as Zac growled, body clenching tight on Bryce’s sensitive cock. Zac kept grinding down on him, wringing pleasure from Bryce’s body, and Bryce hadn’t managed more than a breath or two before heat spattered his chest and belly, Zac coming all over him.

Bryce’s breath caught and he arched into the bite and the heat, catching his lower lip between his teeth in a last-moment attempt to stifle a fresh cry that rose in his throat. His next breath was heavy with blood and sex; he shivered, still moving under Zac.

“Like that,” Zac whispered, his tongue washing over the sting of his bite. “I like that.” He pressed fast kisses to the line of Bryce’s jaw, kisses that were sharp with just a hint of Zac’s teeth brushing skin. “Love how you’re so... so open.” Zac sat up, smiling down at Bryce. “Love you.”

“Good,” Bryce breathed, not understanding why he said it. He licked blood off of his own lip, looking up at Zac. As his head cleared a little and he realized he was still shivering, he knew why. If Zac didn’t love him, he couldn’t be here; he needed to know it. And he needed Zac to know
him
. “Can’t be anything else,” he confessed. “I need it. Need you.” The kisses Zac pressed to Bryce’s lips were gentle, so light and delicate. “I love you so much, Bryce,” Zac murmured, finally loosening his grip on Bryce’s hands.

Bryce reached up to stroke Zac’s face and the smooth curve of his head, soothing himself with the touches as he returned the sweet kisses. “Love you, too,” he said. His nerves were still singing with how intense the sex had been. They were so right together.

Zac arched into the touches. He didn’t say anything else, just made his way from Bryce’s mouth all along his jaw with sweet, nuzzling kisses.

Bryce rolled them over again and curled himself around Zac as best he could. Nuzzling against Zac’s cheek, he luxuriated in the intimacy of the moment. Waking up in bed with Zac, waking up without any stress or distress, knowing this was exactly where he belonged, made morning a whole new experience.

Maybe Zac was thinking the same thing. He turned his head, kissing Bryce on the mouth again, and then murmured, “I like waking up with you like this.” Zac butted his nose against Bryce’s cheek. “Uh. Not just the sex. All of it.”

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Bryce laughed at him, trying to be quiet. “Yeah, we should do it more. Like, all the time.” Then his laughter faded. How the hell were they going to get through the rest of the year? Maybe they could just tell Steve and Kaede.

Zac sighed and shook his head, stroking his hands over Bryce’s face. “Stop it, man. We’ll figure it out. It’ll be fine. Even if we can’t sleep together every night, it’s not like we don’t live together, you know? We’ll be okay.”

Will we?
Bryce couldn’t stop thinking about what Zac had said about coming out. Even at home, they’d be lying about who they were, for the rest of the year. What did that do to a person?

“Yeah, we’ll figure it out,” Bryce said, but he knew the ache in his chest was written all over him. It wasn’t just that Zac deserved better. Bryce still had a weird certainty that he did, too.

“C’mere.” Zac pulled Bryce down to him, snuggling him up.

Bryce loved to snuggle. Zac knew it, too. Bryce could tell Zac was distracting him deliberately and gave into it. He nestled down with his head on Zac’s shoulder, right where he could nuzzle Zac’s neck, and sighed heavily. “We have to get up soon,” he murmured.

“Yeah.” Zac played with the curls at the nape of Bryce’s neck. “Not like we’re gonna have sex again this morning, and if I go back to sleep, I’m probably not getting up ‘til, like, noon. So.” He pressed a kiss to the side of Bryce’s head. “But maybe just another minute. I like this, you know?”

“Me, too.” Bryce stroked Zac’s chest, watching his hand glide over the subtle swells and dips of Zac’s muscles. He loved how Zac was so strong and smooth at once, not bulky or heavy. God, Zac turned him on; Bryce couldn’t imagine not getting turned on by him now.

Now that Bryce could cope with the realization, he knew he’d always been able to look at men that way, that it had dawned on him that men could be sexy at the same time he’d worked that out about women. It was just that he’d been inundated with opportunities to look at women that way and he’d been terrified to look at men at all. He’d had good reasons to live a half-life, until now.

Now he had more reasons not to, every day. Bryce watched Zac’s chest rise and fall, listened to the steady beat of his heart. Not just every day. Every breath. He pressed a kiss to Zac’s skin.

***

Bryce had fallen asleep while Zac grabbed a shower -- it was just as well, since a sleek, wet Zac was high on Bryce’s list of things to pounce -- but the kiss Zac stole before dashing off to class had been enough to wake him again. Bryce lay in Zac’s bed for a long time, staring at the ceiling and trying to decide if he was going to avoid Perry this morning. The thing was, he didn’t want to.

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Groaning, Bryce pushed himself up to sitting and looked around at the mess. Pizza, video games, beer, clothes... and the room smelled of sex. Yeah. He and Zac were going to have to do a lot more work if they were going to hide the fact that they were lovers. Bryce flopped back down on his belly and hugged the Zac-scented pillows. He didn’t want to hide.

Part of it was laziness. No, tiredness. Exhaustion. Bryce was so fucking tired. Tired of being scared, tired of fighting himself, tired of watching his step. It felt absurd that he could get himself into a situation like this: backed into a corner and trapped between doing right by his best friend and... and what? Doing right by his family?

Bryce got all the way up this time and grabbed Zac’s robe so he could trudge off to shower.

Maybe there’d be a little hot water left. Zac’s robe was too small, but it covered enough, and it smelled like Zac, just like the bed.

I am so fucked
, Bryce thought, dropping the robe over the towel rack and taking a moment to look at himself in the mirror. He had a big damn hickey on the side of his neck, and it wasn’t like anyone was going to know it was from Zac, but
damn
. They had to be careful. Bryce ran his thumb over it and shivered with pleasure. Sex with Zac was so hot.

Shower, Bryce
. He got under the water and soaped up absent-mindedly while he worried about his present situation. Liking boys, check. Liking girls... he’d thought about it, also a check.

Caring what other people thought, not so much of a checkmark anymore. Yes, he’d freaked out about Perry finding out, but that was like a physical reaction, not what he really believed anymore.

Reasons for letting people know he was with Zac? Top of the list was that Zac deserved it.