Before I Let You Go (12 page)

T
he alarm went off at six o’clock on Monday. Kelly hit the snooze button and continued to lie there. Her eyelids were heavy and she felt as if she had just fallen asleep. In fact, she had. She’d had less than four hours sleep.

And it was all Diamere’s fault.

Last night she had slipped under the covers with him heavy on the brain. Warm milk hadn’t helped. And reading proved to be a big waste of time because she read the same paragraph three times and didn’t comprehend a single line. Ever since Diamere had come into her life she’d been feeling slightly off balance. Her days were no longer her own. He had invaded her mind and taken over her thoughts and actions. All she could do was think about him.

Kelly kept playing Saturday night over and over again in her head. His kisses. His taste. Him lying between
her legs making love to her.
Enough!
All she was doing was torturing herself.

She had been avoiding him since they had last seen each other. She had even taken the rest of the week off to enjoy some time to herself before she left for the lake, but now she was going crazy because she didn’t have enough to occupy her time. Even trying to work on her thesis was a big waste of time because she just couldn’t focus.

The phone rang, interrupting her thoughts. Kelly reached over for the cordless phone and brought it to her ear.

“Wake up, sleepyhead.”

Her lips curled upward at the sound of her big sister’s voice. “What are you doing up this early?” Calaine was in Missouri, and since it was six in Delaware, it was five in the Midwest.

“I had to pee. And I knew you would be up.”

Kelly rolled onto her side. “Yep, like clockwork. How are David and the kids?”

“Wonderful.”

There was something her sister wasn’t telling her. “What? There’s something on your mind. I can hear it in your voice.”

Calaine hesitated for a moment. “Look, you know you can tell me anything,” Kelly assured her.

“Kelly, I’m pregnant.”

She sprang up in the bed. “Oh my goodness! That is wonderful! When is the baby due?”

“In January. And I’m so hoping for another girl. You know David wants a boy.” Calaine’s voice rang with happiness.

“Of course.”

“Don’t tell Mama. I want to surprise her when we come down for Thanksgiving.”

“My lips are sealed.” Kelly cradled the phone against her shoulder as she reached for her robe at the end of the bed and slipped her arms through it. “Oh my gosh, congratulations.”

“Thanks. So tell me, what’s been going on with you? Found a new man yet?”

Kelly giggled. Leave it to her big sister to get straight to the point. “Something like that. An old relationship renewed. Do you remember the best man at Mark and Essence’s wedding?”

“The fine one with the deep dimples?”

Kelly exhaled. Damn, she loved his dimples. “Yep, that’s the one.”

“Ooh! I want to hear all about this.”

“I figured you would.” Kelly moved into the kitchen, and as she prepared her coffee, she told Calaine everything there was to tell about Diamere Redmond.

“I can hear in your voice that he’s special to you,” Calaine commented at the end of Kelly’s early-morning confession.

“He is. I just…” She struggled with her words. “I just don’t know if a relationship is meant for us. I mean, both of us made it clear we weren’t looking for anything. But now that we…made love, I realize there is no way I can separate my body from my heart. I want more than he is willing to give me. But on the other hand, I’m afraid to take that chance again.”

“Again? Devin was a jerk. He doesn’t count. I didn’t like him from the second I met him.”

Calaine had been in Texas at a human resources convention when Kelly drove down to Austin with
Devin so they could meet. The three of them went to dinner. She’d hated to admit it, but the evening had been a disaster. Devin complained about the meal and the service and chastised the waitress until she was in tears.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Kelly asked now.

“Because you were in love and I didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize your happiness.”

She sighed into the receiver. “Yeah, well, you see where your silence got me.”

“Next time I’ll come out with it, trust me. I can say that I liked Diamere the second Mark introduced him to me.”

Kelly couldn’t help but smile. “He’s a wonderful person.”

“And you’re in love with him.”

Kelly lowered herself onto a seat at the kitchen table. “Is it that obvious?”

“Yep. And if I can tell over the phone, I can just imagine what your eyes are saying.”

Her mother always said she could tell what Kelly was thinking just by looking her in the eye. The last thing she needed was for Diamere to know what she was feeling, which was why she couldn’t wait until tomorrow to head down to the lake. She needed that time to think and get her head straight before school started in a week. “No matter how I feel, I’m not looking for anything serious, and neither is he.”

“How do you know his feelings haven’t changed? Have you asked him?”

“Hell no.”

“Then you can only speak for yourself.”

Kelly hated when Calaine was right. “I am really not ready for that.”

“Okay. I’m not going to push you but I think you should give it some thought. I’d hate to see you lose something that only comes around once in a lifetime.”

They chatted a little longer about the kids and their upcoming visit, then Kelly said goodbye and disconnected the call.

She prepared herself a cup of coffee and stepped out back to take a seat in her wicker patio chair, resting her feet on the matching ottoman. While she sipped her coffee, Kelly thought about her conversation with her sister. Just thinking about Diamere caused her body to tingle. Closing her eyes, she could vividly picture his face. She inhaled and thought she caught a whiff of his natural scent. What was wrong with her? She hadn’t felt anything like this with Devin.

Because you didn’t really love him
.

She definitely hadn’t experienced any of these feelings with Devin. Never did her palms sweat just at the mention of his name. Her heart had never felt as if it were going to explode from her chest each and every time she was in his presence. Those were things she only felt with Diamere.

She finished her coffee and stepped back into the house, deciding she needed to do something other than think about Diamere all day. Since the weatherman had forecast another scorching August afternoon, she spent the rest of the morning straightening up the house and after lunch she organized her picture albums, a project she’d been planning to get to all summer long.

She was on her way back into her bedroom when she heard her cell phone ring. Kelly picked it up and noticed
she had a new text message from a number she didn’t recognize.

Come to Hadley’s 2nite at 10. Luv 2 C U.

Her heart pounded heavily with excitement. Diamere wanted to see her tonight. She contemplated the idea for a moment, then talked herself out of going. The best thing to do was to keep her distance. She was already in way over her head. She was leaving for the cottage in the morning, and the sooner the better. It was a ninety-mile drive and the farther she was away from him, the better off she would be.

D
iamere moved to the VIP section of Hadley, to a large round table where his cousins the Beaumonts—Jabarie, Jace, Jaden, Bianca, and their spouses—were sitting, just as a second bottle of Moët champagne was being delivered.

“When I said drinks were on the house I didn’t mean put me out of business,” Diamere declared with laughter in his voice.

“You can afford it.”

He met the smile of Jace, the oldest of the group, as he reached for the bottle. “You forget, my last name isn’t Beaumont.”

“True, but tonight it seems the hottest name in this joint is my cousin, Diamere Redmond.”

Jaden rose from his seat, locks hanging loose around his broad shoulders. “I want to make a toast.” He waited
until everyone around the table had raised their glasses. “To Diamere. May he have many years of success.”

“Hear. Hear.”

They all clinked glasses and took a sip from their flutes.

“Thanks, everyone,” Diamere replied, grinning. Then he glanced off to his left for the umpteenth time.

“What’s up, man? Are you expecting Publishers Clearance House?”

“What?” Diamere replied, realizing Jaden was talking to him. “Why do you say that?”

Jaden grinned knowingly. “Because you’ve been watching the door all night.”

Jabarie nodded. “He’s right.”

“It’s gotta be a girl,” Bianca said between sips.

Jace frowned at that idea. “I doubt a woman could have that much of his attention. After Ryan, the last thing Diamere wants is another woman.”

Sheyna nudged her husband in the shoulder. “Are you saying I never had your attention like that?”

London tossed his hands in the air. “Man, if I was you, I’d be very careful how I answered that question.”

The whole group laughed.

“See, I got this one trained well,” Bianca said, and dropped a kiss on London’s cheek. A look of adoration appeared in her husband’s eyes.

Diamere shook his head, smiling at the new king of Clarence’s Infamous Chicken and Fish House. Selling his family restaurant to the couple was the smartest business move he’d ever made, besides purchasing the clubs. London and Bianca Beaumont Brown had barely been married eighteen months and were already the proud parents of a baby girl.

Diamere checked his watch. It was after ten. If Kelly didn’t arrive in the next ten minutes, he would give up looking for her.

When Jace had called him that afternoon and told him the couples were planning to come to Philly for a night on the town, he’d felt the overwhelming urge to have Kelly with him. He didn’t know why, but he wanted her to meet his family.

Jabarie hopped from his chair and grabbed his wife’s hand. “Come on, Brenna baby. Let’s show these old folks how to two-step.” She rose slowly because of the protruding stomach. The couple was expecting their fifth child in the spring.

Jace gave a rude snort. “That’s why they have all them babies. He can’t keep his hands off his wife.”

Drawing the small beauty into his arms, Jabarie nuzzled Brenna’s cheek lovingly, then fixed his gaze on his older brother. “Don’t hate because my wife loves her man.”

Chuckling, Jace rose. “Bro, you know you can’t dance.” There was a hint of challenge in his voice. For as long as Diamere had been around his cousins, the oldest two had always found something to compete about.

Jabarie glanced around the table. “Y’all are our witnesses.”

Jaden, the youngest brother, rose and held out his hand to his wife, Danica, a former runway model. “Come on, sweetie. Let’s show them how it’s done.”

She tossed her long auburn hair away from her face, then accepted the proffered hand. “Jaden, dear, promise you won’t step on my feet.”

Bianca tipped her head back, laughing. “Some things never change, do they, big brother?”

“Ha-ha. Very funny.” He draped his arm around Danica’s waist and escorted her onto the crowded dance floor.

Diamere lowered himself into a seat at the head of the table and watched the couples dance. Danica was right. Jaden still had two left feet. But Jace and Sheyna definitely knew how to move. So did Jabarie and Brenna. Out the corner of his eye, he saw that Bianca and London were too busy gazing at each other to notice who was the better dancer. Diamere kicked his baby cousin’s foot under the table. “Bianca, you need to pay attention.”

She rolled her eyes as she looked across the table. “You need to mind your own business,” she said without malice. “It isn’t often that London and I get a little time by ourselves without Sierra.” Their daughter had just turned thirteen months old.

The song ended and the music slowed. More couples moved onto the dance floor. Bianca dragged her husband out, and Diamere, slowly stroking his chin, watched all four couples move to the beat of the music. London was holding Bianca as if she meant the world to him.
This was love
.

He couldn’t help but think about Kelly. If only things had been different there was no telling what might have happened between them. Or still could if he allowed it.

He shook off the thought because there was no way he was setting himself up for failure again. He just couldn’t. The last time had hurt so bad he never wanted to endure that kind of pain again. Yet a part of him yearned for what his cousins had all found. Stability. Family. And most importantly, love.

The hairs on the back of his neck stood up just then
and Diamere glanced over his shoulder. His heart thumped in his chest when he spotted Kelly hovering near the entrance. Instantly, he rose from his seat and closed the distance between them. The nearer he got the faster his heart beat. He knew the exact moment she recognized him. Her lips curled upward and her eyes sparkled with mischief.

Diamere took a moment to peruse her figure in that short, glimmering, pink sequined dress with thin straps. On her feet were fuchsia heels that made her legs appear as long and lean as they ever did. As soon as he reached her, he dipped his head and captured her mouth in a long, searing kiss, publicly declaring for anyone to see that she was there for him.

When he pulled back and straightened, Kelly struggled with her words. “I guess that means you’re happy to see me.”

A smile crinkled Diamere’s eyes and his magnificent mouth. “Yes, I didn’t think you would come.”

“I wasn’t going to,” she heard herself admit, “but I decided it was better than spending an evening curled up in bed watching old movies.”

“There’s nothing wrong with lying in bed watching movies when you have someone else curled up beside you.”

Kelly gazed up into his eyes, her heart pounding a heavy rhythm in sync with the music thumping from the nearby speaker. She still didn’t understand why she had come. She knew every reason for why keeping her distance was the way to go, especially after the other night. She had been so caught up in the moment when he made love to her that the words
I love you
had practically
escaped from her lips. Yet, as she looked up and saw the desire burning in the depths of his eyes, she knew nothing could have stopped her from being here tonight. And seeing him move across the floor dressed in dark chocolate slacks and a silk cream shirt, with a single diamond stud in his left ear, Kelly knew she had made the right decision.

Accepting his proffered hand, she followed Diamere to a large round table where several other couples were sitting. As soon as they spotted the two of them, she was met by several curious stares. Diamere stopped and draped his arm across her shoulders, then smiled down at her as if to make sure everything was okay. Kelly nodded.

He turned to the group. “Everyone, I would like you to meet Kellis Saunders.”

His introduction was followed by a series of warm welcomes. Kelly glanced around the table at the four couples and smiled. It seemed all eyes were on her.

A tall man with a smooth pecan complexion and shoulder-length locks rose and offered her his hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Kellis.”

“Please, call me Kelly,” she replied, nervously clearing her throat.

Diamere pointed to the couple on the end. “Kelly, this is my cousin Jaden and his wife, Danica.”

Kelly gazed at the beautiful woman in surprise. “You look so familiar.”

“I used to model,” Danica said with a shrug.

She blinked as recognition hit. “I’ve seen you in
Ebony
magazine.”

Jaden gazed at his wife adoringly. “She used to be
the finest thang on the runway. Still is as far as I’m concerned.”

Danica covered his mouth with her hand. “Jaden, you’re embarrassing me.”

Smiling, he dipped his head and pressed his lips to hers. Kelly didn’t miss the looks they gave each other. As she watched the couple interact, it was clear the two were so in love they practically glowed.

A woman stepped up beside her, and Kelly found her smile genuine and warm. “Forgive my cousins. I’m Bianca Beaumont Brown and that there is my husband, London.” She pointed to the tall dark man sitting at the end of the table, waving at her.

“Oh my God! I remember seeing the two of you in the society section last year.” Kelly’s eyes traveled over to London. “You own Clarence’s Infamous Chicken and Fish House.”

Diamere laughed. “Yep. That’s the chicken king.”

Nodding, London reached for the glass in front of him. “That’s me.”

Kelly remembered reading about London taking over the reins not long ago.

Diamere pulled her closer, his hand moving gently down her back. “Over there are my cousins Jabarie and Jace, and their wives, Brenna and Sheyna.”

A smile tipped the corners of Sheyna’s lips. “Girlfriend, you are wearing the hell out of that dress!”

“Yes, you are,” Diamere murmured close to her ear, and she met his gaze again.

Brenna smiled and rubbed her stomach, as if she felt the baby kick. “Sheyna and I will have to take you with us on our shopping trip next month. Maybe you can give us some fashion tips.”

“Absolutely, although you both look fabulous,” Kelly replied, flattered they’d include her in their plans.

Jace looked over at Sheyna and groaned. “Watch out, Kelly. These women are serious shoppers.”

The music changed to Jaheim. Diamere gave Kelly a gentle tug. “Excuse me, but I need to hold this little lady in my arms.”

Kelly followed his lead out onto the dance floor just as the slow song began. Glancing over her shoulder, she checked to see if the others were following, but they just sat there staring and grinning.

“I think your family is watching us,” she murmured as Diamere pulled her into his arms.

He glanced over at the table in turn and then down at her. “Then let’s give them a show.” Before she had a chance to find out what he meant, he lowered his head and kissed her in the middle of the dance floor, in front of his family and anyone else who bothered to look their way.

When he finally pulled away, Kelly tilted her head back and stared up into his eyes, shocked at how open Diamere was with his affection.

“What changed your mind about coming out tonight?”

“You,” she said. “I wanted to see you.”

A grin tipped the corner of Diamere’s lips. “Well, I’m glad you came.”

“So am I.”

He lowered his head and kissed her again. When he pulled back, her own head was spinning. The man sure knew how to lay it on her.

They finished up the dance and returned to the table. Over the next few hours his family made sure she felt
right at home. Diamere sat beside her with his hand on her knee, causing her blood to race.

It was shortly after midnight when Bianca rose from her chair. “Thanks for a wonderful evening, but Sierra should be wide-awake by now and ready for her late-night feeding.”

Kelly didn’t miss the motherly pride in her voice.

Jabarie rose. “Yeah, we probably need to be heading back to Sheraton Beach ourselves.” The others rose, as well. Diamere and Kelly bade them goodbye.

“All of you have a safe trip home,” Diamere said. They were moving across the floor when Kelly finished the last of her drink and got up from her seat. Diamere’s brow rose. “You’re leaving, too?”

She nodded. “Yep. I want to get an early start in the morning.”

He took her hand and pulled her close to him. “Come home with me.”

Kelly wanted to but knew it would be a mistake. Her body already yearned for what only he could give her. “I don’t think that’s a good idea tonight, but I’ll give you a call when I get back from the lake.”

He didn’t push. Instead he nodded. “I’d like that. Let me walk you to your car.” He placed a hand on the small of her back and escorted her through the club and out across the parking lot.

Tilting her head slightly, she looked up at him, and there it was between them again—passion, desire, love. Once more the emotions rendered her helpless, unable to move or combat what she was feeling.

Diamere must have felt it, too, because his breathing had changed. “Kelly,” he muttered softly.

“Yes,” she replied, her voice barely audible.

He pushed her back against her car and began kissing her. His mouth was delicious, urgent and demanding of a response she was more than willing to give. The intensity between them was mind-boggling. No matter how much she tried to pretend she didn’t love him, her feelings had intensified. Her desire for him was relentless. Diamere’s hands searched her body, touching every trembling part of her as his mouth crushed hers. Unable to control what she was feeling, Kelly started an exploration of her own, sliding her palms beneath his shirt and along the powerful muscles of his back and chest. Murmuring her name against her mouth, he ran his hands across her breasts, stopping long enough to allow his thumbs to graze her nipples. Desire made her senses spin as she cried out and arched her spine, bringing her breasts closer to his touch. A feverous fire raged through her. The confines of her clothing frustrated her. She wanted him to touch her bare skin.

Slowly, Diamere raised his head. He made no attempt to move. Instead he stared down at her, his eyes glazed with passion.

“Follow me home. I want to make love to you.” His voice was as thick as if he had been running. She knew exactly how he felt, because her own heart was still racing.