Believe Like a Child (20 page)
T
he next morning, Alessa announced she was going to contact some of the shelters out in Norristown and see what was available. From her matter-of-fact manner and her sudden haste in searching for available accommodation, Ebby could tell something was wrong. She hoped Alessa hadn’t overheard her heated argument with Ryan the night before, but suspected she had. She handed Alessa a pamphlet for shelters in Montgomery County run by the Salvation Army.
“Thanks, Ebby,” Alessa said gratefully. “I’m sure I can find a shelter and will probably be able to leave your place today.”
Ebby was overwhelmed by sadness as she left for work that morning. She knew Alessa wouldn’t be there when she returned home.
By noon, Alessa had called the few shelters listed on the pamphlet and learned that they were full. The shelters in the city were now out of bounds for her, because her staying in any one of them might put the lives of the residents and the staff in jeopardy.
She called Ebby at the Eliza Shirley Shelter. “I found a shelter in Norristown that has room to for me,” she lied. “I’m taking a bus there at one-thirty this afternoon. I’ll call you, once I get settled.”
When asked for detailed information about the place, Alessa picked a name from the pamphlet she had been given and read out the particulars. Happy that Alessa had found a safe haven and a little relieved as well that Ryan would now calm down, Ebby prayed the girl would remain safe and asked her to call as soon as she could. She added that she would like to continue being her therapist, even if it meant talking with her over the phone till it was safe for Alessa to visit her again.
Alessa agreed to that and promised to call later. She thanked Ebby for everything she had done for her. “You’re the kind of woman I hope to be when I grow up,” she told her with feeling. “What I love most about you is that you never treated me like I was a piece of shit. You always made me feel like a normal person. That means everything to me.”
“You
are
a normal person, Alessa,’ Ebby assured her. “You’re a normal person who endured and overcame abnormal conditions. Call me when you’ve settled in.”
By one-thirty that afternoon, Alessa was at the bus stop. She was about to head back to the city of Philadelphia, she wasn’t going to Norristown like she had told Ebby. As she stepped onto the bus that would take her to the Thirtieth Street Train Station, she had no idea where she would eventually end up. Her plan was to get to the station before deciding on another destination. Maybe, she thought, she could live somewhere that was warm all year.
Once inside the station, Alessa observed all the activity and chaos around her. Everyone there seemed to have a direction to follow, a destination to head for. Alessa kept sitting on one of the benches inside the enormous station, oblivious to the passing time. Before she knew it, hours had gone by.
Hungry, she found her way to a McDonald’s and ordered a burger and fries. Then she returned to the bench where she’d been sitting earlier and finished her dinner. As the station emptied of its busy commuters, Alessa noticed the scattering of people who, like her, hadn’t moved at all. The later it grew, the fewer the number of people loitering about in the station. Alessa understood that the people who had remained behind like her had nowhere to go; they were probably homeless too. She felt relieved she wasn’t alone, but as the hustle and bustle of the day died away, she felt a darkness descend on her like a shroud.
By eleven p.m., security guards were making their rounds, rousing those left on the benches and sending them back into the street. Alessa followed the small stream of homeless people trooping out of the station. Once outdoors, they all dispersed, heading in different directions. Alessa stood there, paralyzed, not knowing where to go. The dread settling in the pit of her stomach was so acute that tears began to roll down her face. Through her blurred vision, she saw a teenage girl approach her quickly.
“Hey, you all right?” the girl asked, concerned.
For a fleeting moment, Alessa was unsure as to whether she should trust her. Then feeling she had nothing to lose, she dove in. “Well, I’m… I’m…I don’t have anywhere to sleep tonight and I’m just not sure where to go,” she blurted out.
The teen extended her hand. “I’m Sara. It’s going to be okay. There’s a group of us that stick together. None of us have anywhere to go either. We stay under a bridge a couple of blocks from here. You can come with me, if you want to.”
A
lessa cast all her reservations aside and drew closer. “I’m Alessa,” she said. “Thank God, you’re here! Yes, if I could stay with you tonight, that would be great.”
As the two of them walked the few blocks to the bridge, Sara gave her an overview of the group she would be staying with. All of them had been homeless for a while, starting from six months to several years. They stayed together in a group, because it provided greater protection against other homeless people and street gangs. They didn’t tolerate stealing from members of the group, but stealing from others was acceptable.
Sara also revealed that all the kids had been either sexually or physically abused by someone in their family. Every one of them had fled their homes to live on the streets. She herself had been raped by her brother when she was twelve. When she confided in her mother, she had been beaten so brutally she couldn’t walk for weeks. After the bruises healed and she was able to walk again, Sara had left home. She had been on the streets for six years. She was eighteen now, but to Alessa, she seemed mature beyond her years.
When asked for her own story, Alessa turned defensive. “I really don’t want to get into it right now,” she told her. “Maybe later.”
Sara accepted the answer with poise. By the time they had reached the group of teens under the bridge, the two girls felt connected. Sara introduced Alessa to the others. The one who stood out the most in the group was an eight-year-old girl they called Lucy. Sara explained how they had found the child roaming the streets. Lucy was being harassed by some drunken teenagers, when the group walked up and snagged her away. She had been with them ever since. They weren’t sure of her whole story, but knew her parents had abandoned her. Alessa listened, feeling scared for the young child she was meeting for the first time. All of the other teenagers seemed to have accepted Lucy as one of them.
Alessa sat on an old tire which served as a chair for the group. Lucy immediately approached her and asked, “Are you also here because your mommy and daddy don’t love you?”
Alessa stared into the child’s sad young eyes. “Yes, Lucy,” she answered, “but you know what? You are pretty lucky to have all these other people here who love you.”
The child smiled and sat down next to her. “I have a blanket that we can share tonight, if you want to sleep near me,” she offered hopefully.
“That’s very generous of you, Lucy,” Alessa told her. “I would be honored if you shared your blanket with me.”
The two of them found a small patch of grass and lay down side by side. Alessa covered Lucy and herself with the blanket and the child snuggled up close against her. Her heart went out to the little girl by her side and she put her arms around her. Soon, the two were sleeping peacefully.
As morning broke, Lucy started to stir. Alessa sat up.
“Did you sleep okay, Lucy?” she asked.
The child nodded with enthusiasm and rushed off behind a pillar at the foot of the bridge to pee. Alessa followed slowly and did the same.
When they joined the group again, Sara told Alessa, “The group voted for you to stay with us, if you want to. Just remember that we have rules everyone here obeys. I’ve already told you about the first one: no stealing from any member of the group. The second rule is that we don’t use any drugs, other than weed and alcohol. So if you’re using other stuff, it’s not gonna work here. The third rule is, we share whatever we steal or make from begging.”
Listening to her, Alessa began to understand that they were no different from any other family. The only difference was that they had no one, but each other. For the first time in her life, she had found herself with a group of people whose sole purpose in life was to take care of each other.
“The fourth rule,” Sarah went on, “is that everyone looks out for Lucy. She’s the baby of our family and while she’s a lot more street smart than she used to be when we found her six months ago, she is still very naïve. We keep a close eye on her. The newcomer to the group always has responsibility for Lucy’s day-to-day whereabouts. That means, she stays with you all the time. Okay?”
Alessa quickly agreed to all the conditions. Not only did she want to remain in this group, she also felt a natural urge to protect and take care of Lucy. In the child, she saw herself as she used to be when she was just eight years old. She didn’t know the little girl’s story yet, but figured she would find out over time. Sara told Alessa that the group would give her a day or two to settle in. But then, she would have to contribute.
“If you find food or make some money begging and buy food with it, you’re supposed to bring it back for us to share. The other thing is, we’re always looking for clothes, blankets, pillows—shit like that—mostly, from dumpsters and people’s trash. If you bring that stuff in, you’ll be contributing too. The boys do most of the stealing, but I’m pretty good at it too.”
“When the weather is nice, like it is now, we wash ourselves here, in the Schuylkill River. You have to be careful, though, and only wash in shallow water. In the winter, we mostly use different bathrooms at the train station and at fast-food joints. It can get really cold sleeping outside in the winter. So sometimes, we head over to one of the churches in the city. Sometimes, they let us stay inside without asking us a bunch of questions. Most of the group isn’t eighteen yet. So we’re always careful about that kind of shit.”
Alessa was intrigued by this little community. Who would have known there were kids just like her, surviving by taking care of each other?
When all the teenagers had left for the day, leaving her alone with Lucy, Alessa began looking around at her new home. It was dark when she had gotten there the night before, but now, in the sunlight, she could see where she was really staying. The main area where the teens lived was sort of like a living room, to Alessa’s way of thinking. There was a dirt floor, with a stone ring in the center, where they lit a fire. It gave them warmth and was used for cooking. Resting close to the circle were a few old pots and one pan that had been washed. Old tires and broken tree logs served as seats; a few cinder blocks were used as tables to hold their food and beer. The roof was nothing more than the natural covering offered by a large tree whose widespread branches extended thirty feet out on either side. The branches were high in the air, with so many layers rising into the sky that Alessa could see why they hadn’t bothered to try and build a roof. Beyond the main dirt area, there were patches of grass and some smaller trees. Here, she noticed sleeping bags, blankets and pillows, rolled and folded just so. These were their bedrooms. It was all very basic. Yet, as she sat there with Lucy, she realized how lucky they were to have found each other.
Alessa was startled from her thoughts when she heard Lucy say, “Alessa, I’m hungry. Can we eat breakfast?”
She looked around her, but couldn’t see any food anywhere. “I don’t see any food here, Lucy,” she remarked. “Maybe we should go get something?”
The child took her by the hand and led her over to a box behind the big tree that provided shade and shelter for their main living area. Lucy pulled back a ripped old sheet and opened the box. Inside was half a loaf of bread, a box of Captain Crunch, an unsealed pack of graham crackers and three brown bananas. Alessa handed Lucy a slice of bread and an old banana. The child ate them without a fuss. Munching away, she gabbed to Alessa about where they would spend their day.
“I think we should go over to the dumpsters on South Street. The restaurant people put the food left over from the night before in the back near their dumpsters. They’re all pretty nice people. They know we come and take whatever food other people don’t want. We ain’t picky. That’s what Sara says. She told me we are all happy we have each other and we need to do what we can, so we can all eat.”
“Is that so?” Alessa asked. “Well, that sounds just about right. Sara is a very smart girl. Do you like living here with all these people, Lucy?”
The little girl averted her gaze and stared at the dirt floor, her excitement from a minute ago seeming to have suddenly ebbed away. “Well,” she said, “I was all alone before they found me and let me live with them. They are all really nice to me. They call me the baby of the family and that pisses me off, because I’m eight years old. I’m not a baby anymore. But I like living here with them. Will you stay here with us too?”
“Yes, Lucy, I’m going to stay here,” Alessa replied. “At least for a while, until I figure out what’s next. Until then, you and I are stuck together like glue, okay?”
Lucy’s smile spread across her dirty face. “Yeah, that would be okay.”