Better Off Friends (15 page)

Liam opened up about his relationship with Siobhan on the drive back to my grandparents’. They’d known each other since childhood and had the tight-knit group of friends you’d expect in such a tiny village. Then they decided to date. Now they didn’t even talk anymore. Liam couldn’t even be on the same beach as her.

It gave me a lot to think about. And all those thoughts revolved around Levi. I had to talk to him. To make sure that we were still friends. That we’d still be able to be in the same room together when I got home.

Fortunately, my grandparents were out, so I was able to go right to my room and dial Levi on my laptop the second I was dropped off. I did the math and knew he would, hopefully, be getting home from morning practice. My leg was shaking by the third ring.

All I kept thinking to myself was
Please be home, Levi. Please be home.

The screen lit up and I saw Levi’s naked chest in front of me.

“Um, hello?” I asked, feeling my cheeks get hot at the sight of Levi’s body.

“Hey!” He adjusted the towel around his waist. “Sorry, just got out of the shower.” He walked out of view for a few seconds and returned with a T-shirt on. His hair was wet and sticking up in different directions.

“Hey, you!” I was smiling ear to ear.

“Well, hello to you!”

“
Buggy and Floyd
are doing a Christmas special!” I blurted.

His eyes lit up. “Are you serious? That is
bloody brilliant
.” He winked at me.

“Ha. Ha.” I stuck my tongue out at him.

“I see being abroad has really helped with your maturity.”

“Totally.”

He opened his mouth to say something, but then he tilted his head as if he was studying me. “Are you okay?”

It was the same question Liam had asked me not thirty minutes before. I gave him the same answer. “Yeah.”

But here was the difference between Liam and Levi: Levi knew when I was full of it.

“What’s wrong?” The genuine caring on his face almost made me cry.

“Just a little homesick,” I admitted.

I was surprised by Levi’s reaction. He smiled.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” I said. “Are you enjoying my misery?”

He shook his head. “No, it’s … you always seem so happy whenever we talk, and I want you to be happy, but I also want you to get home already. I miss having someone to laugh at my lame jokes. And, well, I miss you.”

“I miss you, too.”

There was a silence between us. Not because we were uncomfortable but because we didn’t really need to say anything else. We both felt the same thing.

I finally spoke. “But, hey, I’m sure the next three weeks will fly by.”

“Actually, it’s sixteen days,” he corrected me.

“Oh, so you’re counting?” I teased.

“Duh. It’s on my calendar.
Macallan returns and life officially doesn’t suck anymore
.”

“So are you saying your life would suck without me? I’m assuming you’re quoting Kelly Clarkson because you miss having such a strong, independent girl like myself around.”

“Ha! Nicely played. But of course.” He paused.
“Here’s the thing, we started out friends….”

I laughed. “Wait, are you now insinuating that since I’ve been gone, you can breathe for the first time?”

“Wait, no!”

I shook my head. “You really are becoming unraveled without me.”

He had that familiar crooked smile on his face. “I know. See, you go away and I can’t think straight. It’s amazing I can even get up in the morning.”

“Oh, how I miss your dramatics.”

“Nobody else appreciates them like you do.”

“I know.”

“So let me make sure I get this,” Liam said to me as we waited in line at Murphy’s to get some ice cream a couple nights later. “Your best friend is a guy. He likes you as more than just a friend. And your response was to run away to Ireland?”

“Well, when you put it that way …” I tried to joke, but I started to feel a little silly. “There was a lot more going on.”

“Ah, right.” He nodded. “He started to hang out with his guy friends.”

“And was ignoring me,” I reminded him.

I’d decided to open up to Liam about Levi. I figured nothing was going to happen between us; we both had too much baggage. So maybe it would be helpful to get an outside opinion on the subject. But unfortunately, I had a feeling he was going to take Levi’s side.

I guess bros gotta stick with bros.

We placed our orders. Liam always got Guinness and brown bread, which didn’t taste as bad as one would think. I ordered my favorite combination: sea salt and honeycomb.

After we grabbed our cones, I decided to make one last plea for my case. “And remember, I basically don’t see him for months, then we get into a fight and
then
he comes over and tells me he loves me. It was so out of the blue.”

Liam took a lick of his cone. “Was it really?”

My response was to be really into eating my ice cream. Which I was, but I also didn’t have a proper response.

“But you only think of him as a friend,” Liam stated, and I could tell that he didn’t believe me. “You’re not attracted to him at all?”

“No. I mean yes. I mean, he’s Levi.”

“ ‘He’s Levi’? Is that some sort of Yank expression I’m not aware of?” he teased. “So he’s your best friend. He’s a Levi, whatever that means. I don’t really see what the problem is.”

“It’s difficult.” I began to walk faster to the harbor.

“Yes, you keep reminding me of that. But here’s the thing. It doesn’t sound that difficult. You’re only making it difficult. It sounds like there’s a lot between you. Don’t be afraid to make it even more.”

I smiled tightly, not sure if I should believe him or not. So I played it lightly. “Since when did you become some sort of relationship expert?”

He looked at me amusedly. “ ’Tis common sense, really.”

I faced the harbor, which was lined up with buses bursting with tourists. “So I better go see this dolphin.”

Ever since I’d arrived in Dingle, everybody had been asking me if I’d seen Fungie, the town dolphin. There was a statue of him right next to the information center where Gran worked. I’d gotten my picture taken with the statue my first week there but hadn’t seen Fungie yet.

“It is rather shocking that you’ve been here for six weeks and haven’t gone.” Liam took out his phone and gestured at me to pose for yet another photo by the statue. “Have some pride in Dingle, will ya?”

I sulked next to the statue. “It feels a bit touristy.”

“Right. Because you’re
not
a tourist.” He snapped the photo. “We’ve got to make sure to get everything in over the next few days. Because you’ll be home soon. So there’s lots to do. Including a decision that needs to be made.”

He didn’t have to remind me.

The next two weeks flew by. Gran and Gramps did everything to make sure I got to see as much as I could before I left. I was almost too tired for my farewell party, but if there was one thing I’d learned during my two months in Ireland, it was that the Irish knew how to throw a good party.

My grandparents’ backyard was transformed into an impromptu music session. We hung up fairy lights around the trees to make it even more magical. Gran and Gramps’s friends, who had become like an extended family to me, started trickling into the backyard. Some of Gramps’s musician friends brought their instruments, and music soon started to fill the cool evening.

Liam arrived with his mom. “Hey, I brought you something to remember me by,” he said. He handed me a CD; the cover was the photo of me with the Fungie statue. I opened up the case and saw a listing of Irish bands he’d introduced me to during my visit. “While I love all things American, we Irish have superior music. Not like you have any Yank bands on your iTunes, you Anglophile. So it’s time you heard some proper, non-U2 Irish bands.”

“Thanks!” I gave him a hug, grateful to have had him around during my visit.

Gramps asked everybody to quiet down. “I want to thank you all for coming here to bid our favorite granddaughter good-bye.”

“Your
only
granddaughter,” I clarified.

There was laughter from the guests.

“But I think it would only be appropriate to send Macallan off with a parting glass.”

There were nods from their friends, who lifted up a glass. I joined them in the toast, but was unfamiliar with the song they started to play.

Gramps looked at me fondly and began to sing,

Gran then joined Gramps as he wrapped his arm around her. She sang in a clear beautiful voice:

I felt tears rolling down my face. I should’ve been sad about leaving my grandparents and this wonderful place, but the tears weren’t for them.

And Liam knew it. “I’ll make it simple for you,” he said, leaning in. “If you want to be with him, be with him.”

My throat felt tight. “I can’t.”

He shook his head. Liam often teased me about making things difficult —
typical American
, he’d fondly call me. “I’d ask why, but you and I both know there isn’t any excuse good enough. Stop making excuses and be with him.”

I knew he was right. And it terrified me.

“Do you want to be with him?”

I didn’t think. I answered what I knew was the truth. “Yes.”

“Then be with him.” He got up and joined the group at the front singing.

Good night and joy be with you all.

I was surprised they didn’t hold me at customs since I was so shaky and nervous. As soon as I got my proper entrance stamp and baggage, I bounded for the greeting area. I ran out and didn’t have to wait more than two seconds before I heard Dad, Uncle Adam, and Levi calling out for me. I turned and saw Levi holding a huge sign:
BLIMEY IF WE KNOW WHERE MACALLAN IS!

I laughed and ran up to them. There was a flurry of hugs and exchanges of “I missed you” and “You look great!” Dad and Adam took my luggage and went to get the car while Levi waited with me outside.

“I’m so glad you’re home,” he said. He wrapped his arm around me and I fell into him. We both stayed there for a while. It felt right. It had always felt right. But I’d kept telling myself that it would ruin our friendship. Never had I thought about how it could make things even better between us. I knew the average high school couple rarely made it work long-term, but there was nothing average about Levi and me.