Between Now and Goodbye (9 page)

I'd give her a manicure, because she doesn't even ever paint her nails, let alone have them professionally done. Once that was done, I'd tackle her clothes, because she would look so much better if she ditched the beach girl look, and actually wore clothes which were a little more stylish. I would also never let her go barefoot, unless she's on the beach.

'You're staring at me.' Libby jumps down from the fence and walks over to me. 'Hi.'

'Hey.' I hug her tightly. 'Thank you so much for coming home.' I say and she just stands a little back from me and shrugs her shoulders. Charles walks over and kisses me lightly.

'Hey.' He links his hand through mine, 'You look very...sparkly.'

'Yeah, thanks.' I say, though I'm not really sure if that's meant to be a compliment coming from him. Not that he's the height of fashion himself today. He's gone more casual than his normal look. A pair of frayed at the edge denim cut off jeans that stop just below his knees, and a faded black shirt. He too is barefoot. 'So, how was New York?'

'Quick.' Libby says with an obvious irritation. 'How are you doing?'

'Well, my world is imploding.' I reply, because if she's still annoyed at me, then I definitely can't let her know I'm starting to like the idea of boarding school, 'I cannot believe that my parents are sending me to boarding school, It's completely and utterly insane of them. I make one tiny mistake...'

'You burnt your dad's office to the ground.' Libby points out unhelpfully.

'Yeah, exactly, one small thing.'

'Julie his entire office building. Burnt down. Turned to charcoal. Unusable.' Libby pauses often, putting way too much emphasis on the words. Her eyes widen as well. I wonder what she's thinking. Does she think I'm being a little blasé about it all?

'Well, yeah, I get that it was bad and he was upset, but the insurance is totally covering everything. It helps that he runs an insurance firm, because it means he knows how to get the best insurance for his business. Anyway, it's totally covering all the costs, and he's got plenty of money to buy a new office block, or like, ten. So it's not even that big of a deal.'

'I don't really think it's about the money.' Charles says softly.

'But money should at least play a factor. The hugeness of the mistake I made, is instantly nullified by the fact that, by using just a little bit of money, barely anything to us, the whole problem can be fixed. No harm done. Nobody was hurt, the building will be rebuilt and until then my dad's getting a new office building just a block away from the old one. I get that I should be punished, but it should be like one or two weeks of being grounded. Not sending me away to boarding school for my entire senior year. I mean, come on. I don't deserve that.'

'Julie you broke into a building, set it on fire and then fled the scene with no intention of calling the fire department.' Libby has a large amount of disbelief on her face. I don't think she really gets how things work. I mean for her it's different, if she'd done something like that then there would have been huge costs involved, that her family would have been crippled by. For my family, buying a building is like Libby's family buying a used car.

'My dad's office. I get that if it had been a random building things would have been different, though, I'm sure my dad could have worked something out to get me...' I get cut off when there's suddenly a loud crash from across the yard.

All three of us turn to look at where it came from. Charles' mom is collapse
d on the ground, a tray of drinks beside her. Broken glass and spilled soda seeping into her summer dress as she jerks about on the floor. I back up until my back hits the fence.

Charles and Libby both spring towards her. Charles is heading to his mom's side, while Libby ushers the three youngest kids into the house. Katie, I notice, has already disappeared the moment her mom hit the floor, Pippa is also gone and I notice for the first time that Libby's step dad isn't here either. I don't blame Katie and Pippa for leaving, I feel like running as well, but how would that look? I don't want to be here, but I also don't want to seem like the unfeeling girlfriend of the guy whose mom is battling cancer. So I stay. Back pressed against the fence as Libby's mom and Libby help Charles get his mom inside, while Lewis works on clearing up the broken glass.

Once Lewis goes in, I'm suddenly alone in the yard, and it occurs to me that I could just leave. Nobody would really notice. I could slip around the side of the house, and if anyone asked later what happened to me, I could tell them that my parents called and said they needed me home for something important. They probably wouldn't question it.

I have two options. Do what I want and get out of here. I could go meet Xavier and Carly. Or I could be a good girlfriend and support my boyfriend by going inside and helping. Though he does already have Libby and her
mom, there's not much I can do. I should just go, I'm in the way here.

I make up my mind and start heading round to the side of the house, when I hear my name being called. It's Libby and she's coming outside, with April cradled against her chest.

'Julie we need to take Char's mom to the hospital.' It really bugs me the way she calls him Char. Charles just sounds so much better. I do not want to be dating a Char. Charles on the other hand, sounds more smart.

'Ok.' I call back, hoping that will be an end to it, but she's still moving towards me.

'She's injured her wrist during the seizure.'

'Oh, that's terrible.' My gaze drifts from her to the pathway alongside the house. I can see my car and I really want to get inside.

'My mom is going to drive, so do you want to go with him while I watch the kids?'

'Uh, what?'

'To the hospital,' she comes a little closer, 'I really think Char needs someone with him, for support.'

'Oh yeah, well...' How do I get out of this? I do not want to hang around the hospital. Way too depressing. 'You know I don't think I'd be the best person to go. I wouldn't know what to say and...I'd just make it worse.' I say quickly. Libby sucks in a breath.

'Ok, well then you'll have to watch the kids.'

'I'll what?' It's all I can do not to drop my phone onto the floor. She can't really want me to watch them. I know nothing about kids.

'Julie, Katie's gone out with Pippa. Matt is at work for another couple of hours, and there's no way that Char is going to the hospital without either me or you. So, you choose. Go to the hospital with your boyfriend or stay here and watch his brothers and sisters so that he doesn't have to worry about them.' I can tell just by the way she says boyfriend that she thinks I should go to the hospital. If I'm honest I know I should go to the hospital, even if it's just to hold Charles' hand. It's just that I don't want to hold his hand through this.

'I'll watch the kids.' I say with way more confidence than I actually feel. I turn away from Libby's face, because she looks disappointed in me.

'Yeah,' she sighs, 'ok.' Then she's back inside and I reluctantly walk in after her, to start babysitting.

Thirteen – Libby

The hospital waiting room has an overly strong smell of cleaning fluid, which fills my nostrils as soon as we're told to sit out here and wait. Mrs P has a scan done, and she hasn't broken her wrist, thankfully, but she did sprain it. At the moment she's having it put into a splint, and then they're going to run a few other tests.

My mom has gone on a coffee hunt, which leaves me and Charles here alone. Waiting.

'He should be here.' Charles says quietly. I know who he means, because whenever he talks about his dad nowadays, his voice goes dark and his face clouds over with anger and helplessness.

'I know.'

'When your wife is in the hospital, you should be there.' He says, 'And yet he's nowhere in sight and,' he pulls out his phone and fiddles with it, 'listen to this.' He passes me the phone and I see that it's called his dad's number. I hold it up to my ear and wait for the ringing to stop.

'I'm sorry, the number you're calling in no longer in service...'

The message goes on but I lower the phone. I don't need to hear the rest because I already know what it means. His dad, however hard it is to accept, isn't coming home. He found out his pregnant wife had cancer, and then left home the very next day. A note on the kitchen table saying he couldn't watch his wife die and take his child with her. He left before finding out how serious it was, before seeing i
f April would be harmed, before any treatment had even been discussed let alone tried.

Charles has always assumed that his dad simply used his mom's illness as a way out, to get away from the financial problems, the crowded house, and a family that he no longer wanted.

At the time, I tried to get Charles to be more positive. I tried telling him that maybe the news just shocked his dad too much, and he couldn't handle it, so he'd left to process. I told him that once he'd had a chance to process, he'd be back. I was convinced that he'd be back after a few days, because what kind of person walks out on his wife when she's pregnant and sick, and not only that, but leaves his five children as well. What kind of person would do something so cruel?

I should have known better. I of all people should have known that people do horrible things sometimes, ever to the people who they're meant to love. Even to family.

Time passed. Days into weeks, and the hope that I'd tried to instill in Charles was vanishing in me. Then weeks became months and nobody had heard from him. Now, his phone number is out of service, and nobody, not even his parents, knows where he went.

The only way that Charles knows that his dad is still alive, is the fact that his grandparents received one call from him about two months ago, asking them to wire him some money. They told him that April had been born, a happy, healthy little girl and that Mrs P was still alive, still fighting. He didn't come home.

I suppose the police would be able to find him, but the fact is, he's not a missing person. He left of his own free will and he didn't do anything illegal. He just did something awful.

'Char I'm so sorry.' My heart breaks for him as he takes his phone back, slipping it into his pocket and then leaning back in his chair. His head hits the wall with a little thud, but he doesn't even seem to register it.

'What if I lose them both?' He says. His eyes are closed and his head is tilted back so I can see his pulse beating in his neck. Slow and steady.

'You won't.' I choke on the words because I know that I can't promise him that. I can't say for certain that his mom will pull through, and it seems more and more likely that his dad won't ever come home.

'Libs,' he turns to me. Eyes open now, clear and blue and shining with tears that he's holding back. 'I know you're just trying to help, but false reassurances aren't making anything better.'

'I know, I'm sorry.'

'Do you know what I really need?' He asks.

'What?' I ask a little too eagerly, because I feel useless here. My mom is at least helping by fetching food and coffee. Julie may not be here, but she's at his house helping by watching the kids, and I'm just sitting here saying stupid things that I can't know are true. 'Anything you need, I'm your girl. I can and will make anything happen. Well...I mean anything that's within my physical capabilities. If there's a possible way I can do something, anything, then I'll do it.' I'm rambling and force my mouth to stay closed, pressing my lips together. He laughs, and that makes me feel a little better.

'I just need a hug.' He says it sheepishly, as if he's handing in his man card just by saying that, but I don't see it that way. His world is shattering with him still standing on it, and there's nothing he can do to stop it from breaking apart. So I do what I can to help.

I lean forwards and throw my arms around him. The metal arms of our chairs are digging into my stomach, but I don't care. I just hug him.

'Hugs I can do.' I say quietly.

'Thanks for coming Libs.'

'Sure.' I hold him for just a second longer, and then pull away and tuck myself back up onto my seat.

'My mom drew up a will the other day.' He says, and the sudden announcement of this sends a chill running through my entire body. It's so final. Almost like she's giving up, even though I know that's not why she did it. She wouldn't ever give up on living for her children. She'll fight this. She just needs to be prepared. I get that. Still, hearing that she's made a will stings a little. I can't imagine how it must feel for Charles.

'She did?'

'Yeah,' he nods, 'she had me call her lawyer and get her to come over to the house. Then she sat down, and made up a will...the basic gist of it is, that since the house is fully paid for, and belongs to her because her mom signed it over to her when she died, the house isn't in any way, legally I mean, my dad's. So she doesn't have to leave it to him if... well anyway.' He sort of half shrugs and keeps his eyes on the floor, 'She's leaving it for me and... and if something,' he takes a breath and forces out the words, 'if something happene
s then she's naming me legal guardian of the kids. I won't be able to properly take them into my charge until I'm eighteen next April, so if...' His eyes fill with tears. I drop my hand onto his forearm. It's the tiniest gesture of comfort. Not enough. Nothing will be.