Between Now and Goodbye (13 page)

'No fair.' I shriek and laugh at the same time. I struggle in his grip. How is he so strong? He's only using one arm, and yet my feet are off the ground. Somehow, despite my best efforts, he gets hold of the hose. I keep my hands on it though, so we end up with it shooting upwards so that it starts showering down onto both of us.

A second later Charles yelps as he gets drenched. He loosens his grip just enough for me to pull away, and I see why he was so surprised. Georgia has lost control of the second hose, which Lewis currently has, and so being the genius that she is, she'd gone inside and filled up a bucket, dragged it over here and threw it over Charles.

I laugh out loud and give her tiny hand a high five.

'You guys teaming up on me?' Charles asks.

'Solidarity.' I smile at him and then at Georgia as I turn the hose back towards him.

I'm drenched to the skin, my feet and legs are muddy, and yet for the first time since coming home from New York yesterday, though it seems like longer, I'm actually really happy to be home.

Seventeen – Charles

After an hour of running around the yard soaking each other with hoses and buckets, Libby has to head home and I have to start thinking about everything that needs to be done today.

The first obvious task is to make sure everyone gets cleaned up from the yard, and into dry clothing. Then I have to take them to visit mom because they all want to go, with the exception of Katie who went out first thing this morning to spend the day at the beach with her friends.

She wants to act like everything is normal, and I don't have the heart to try and stop her, because if for a few hours she can escape the reality of our lives by having some fun, then I want her to do that, so long as it's safe fun. I can't criticize her for doing it, it's what I was doing this morning in the yard with my brothers and sister and Libby, while April slept soundly after an incredibly fussy night.

Once we're back from the hospital I need to try and tackle some of the housework which has been piling up. Libby cleaned the kitchen last night, so that's one less task on my list, but there are still many others to keep my time occupied.

Then of course there's Julie. I need to call her. I need to talk to her and try and understand if the break-up was just a reaction to me getting angry at her last night. It has to be because we've been together for eight months, and as far as I knew we were happy.

Libby was right last night, as she so often is, we are an unlikely match and she can be a little on the high maintenance side. She's also intelligent, fiercely independent, she knows what she wants and she's not afraid to go out and get it. I've known her my entire life and even though at times she can be selfish, and occasionally she does think that she can get her own way simply because she has money. I know too that she has a good heart, and she means well most of the time.

She can't really want to break up with me. I can't have another person in my life walk away from me right now. I loved and trusted my dad and he walked away at the first hint of trouble, and now there's no sign of him.

I love and trust Julie, and I'm not willing to give up without a fight. She loves me, I'm sure she does. I wasn't sure last night when I was talking to Libby, but I am now. She told me that she loves me, and she's told me so many times, so there's no way she could have been lying all of those times. Part of her loves me, and she's backing off now because I haven't been around for her, so all I have to do is show her that I can be the boyfriend that she both wants and deserves.

I just have to figure out a way to prove that to her when I have so much else going on in my life.

Georgia doesn't like the hospital, and from the second we walk through the doors she's clinging to my hand, with more strength than I knew she had. She walks close to me and the smile she had this morning while she teamed up with Libby to soak me and the boys, is all gone now, and instead it's been replaced by a scared look that makes me want to take her straight home.

Sean doesn't seem to like it much either. He's trotting along beside me with his thumb in his mouth, a habit that we'd managed to break last year and is now back. Lewis trails behind us, looking like he's rather be having teeth pulled than visiting mom in the hospital. At least he's here though.

I called Katie this when we were leaving and said I could pick her up and she could come as well. I told that it would mean a lot to mom, but she said she was busy and she'd just seen mom when she's out of the hospital.

I can tell when she's putting on a show to be brave, and the forced brightness in her voice had told me that she's barely holding on. Just like me. Just like all of us.

I'm glad she had her friends. I overheard them all talking one time when she had her three best friends over for a slumber party. She may not be able to talk to me about mom's illness and how it's making her feel, but after hearing her with her friends, I know at least that she's not keeping everything bottled up. She talks to them the way I wish I could talk to Julie. The way I do talk to Libby.

The thought of Julie brings a tightness to my chest. I tried calling her after I'd showered and changed this morning, but there was no answer. I didn't call again right away, and I didn't leave a message. I don't want her to think I'm pushing her. If she's not ready to talk yet, then I'm not going to force her. If she hasn't returned my call by later this afternoon, then I'll try her again.

We make it to mom's hospital room, which she shares with three other women. Georgia hesitates by the door, scared to even enter.

'It's ok.' I say bending down to her level while the boys go inside to say hello to mom. 'You want to see mom don't you?'

'Yes,' Georgia nods and her eyes look all around her, taking in the other women in the room. Wires and tubes connected to their arms, and she shrinks back even further. 'Mommy's got a thing in her arm. Are they hurting her?'

'No,' I shake my head, 'that's an IV. It's giving mom medicine to take away the pain. It's helping her.'

'IV.' She says it a couple of times and then nods her head, 'You're sure she's ok?'

'Go on in and ask her yourself.' I say with as bright of a smile as I can muster. It seems to work because she lets her hand slip from mine and walks into the room.

'Hi darling.' Mom beams at her, and with that smile on her face you can hardly tell how sick she is. Just like me, her family makes her stronger. I just hope that we can make her strong enough. 'Hi love.' She smiles up at me.

'Hi mom.' I bend over her bed and kiss her cheek, 'How are you feeling?' I ask, even though with my brothers and sisters here, she's not likely to tell me if she's not feeling great.

'Comfortable.' She replies, which is a lot better than she's felt a lot of times recently. 'Lewis has been telling me that he was alone in the house last night...with the kids.' She raises an eyebrow at me. Sometimes, because I care for her a lot of the time now, I forget that she's still able to ground me if she wanted to.

Trust Lewis to go and tell her they'd been alone in the house.

'Yeah, there was a sort of.... miscommunication.'

'Uh huh.' She keeps her eyes on me. I didn't think I'd be able to get away with saying that little, but I'd hoped that I wouldn. Now I'm going to have to tell her the whole truth.

'I thought that Julie was staying with the kids while we were at the hospital and Julie didn't think that she had to.' I reply and then fill her in on all of the details. Mom purses her lips together and shakes her head.

'I know that she's your girlfriend and you love her, but that girl needs to learn that she can't always have everything she needs, and sometimes the world doesn't revolve around her.'

'Mom...'

'I'm sorry Charles, but she left my children on their own because her dress got messy. Who does that?'

'I know. I didn't think she'd leave either and I was mad when I found out she did.'

'I hope you let her know you were mad.' Mom replies, 'You never stand up for yourself with her.'

'I did.' I nod.

'Well, good, she needs to learn that she can't walk all over people. As if burning down her father's office wasn't bad enough, and she's getting away with that.'

'They're sending her to boarding school.' I remind her.

'Charles, she burnt a building to the ground after breaking into it. She should at the very leas
t be facing community service. Instead, she's being sent to a prestigious private school where she'll get one of the best educations on offer. Don't get me wrong, her parents are good people and I used to be really close to them, but I've always, on occasion, questioned their parenting skills.' She sighs. 'I know you love her, I just worry that one day she's going to end up hurting you and I don't want to see that happen. She's too wrapped up in herself and she's been raised so spoilt that she thinks it's ok to get or do whatever she wants. It's like she thinks it's her right or something. I worry that she'll hurt you, and I want to protect you from that.'

'Too late.' I say quietly. Mom watches me for a second and then pulls her wallet out from the cabinet next to her hospital bed. Gives Lewis a few notes and tells him to take the twins to the vending machines just down the hall. She can see them from her bed, so I know she won't worry about them getting lost, or wandering off.

She sits up a little straighter once they're gone. April is cradled in her arms.

'What happened?' She asks softly. I sink into the chair next to her bed and sigh heavily.

'Julie and I broke up last night...she ended it.' I give her a brief outline of the events of last night, and when I'm done she takes my hand and gives it a squeeze. I glance over my shoulder. The kids are still at the vending machines, looking as if they're in a debate about what to buy.

'I'm so sorry Charles.'

'Are you?' I ask bitterly and immediately regret it.

'Of course I am. I may not always see eye to eye with her, but she's the first girl you've ever loved, and I know what it's like to lose someone you love.' I think of my dad leaving and it makes me so angry. Angry for mom, angry for my brothers and sisters, and angry for me. 'I have one question.'

'Ok.' I nod.

'Do you still love her?'

'Yes.' I reply right away. I don't even need to think about it. Of course I love her, I'm not the one who's been having doubts about the relationship, so I don't need to think about it. The answer is obvious. Maybe I shouldn't still love her, but how are you supposed to turn off those feelings? Especially when a break-up comes so out of the blue. 'I really do.'

'Then do something I wish I had the chance to do with your dad, and fight for her.' It's not the advice I was expecting to get from my mom. Far from it, but it's the advice I was hoping for. I stand up and hug her closely.

Eighteen – Julie

I sleep in until just after noon, and wake up feeling warm and relaxed as the breeze floats through the open doors of my bedroom, the ones that lead out onto my balcony. The sun is bright and hitting my bed so that my skin is warm from its glow. My covers have been kicked to the end of my bed in the night, but the maid must have been in here because instead of them being in messy tangles around my feet, the covers are folded into a neat pile.

I roll over and grab my phone from the pillow next to me where I always keep it overnight. As I look at the screen I see that there is one missed call from Charles. Seriously? I broke up with him last night and he's already calling me. That's sort of adorable.
Also a touch needy.

There are eight missed calls, three voice mails, and two texts from Libby. I can tell from her messages that she's angry with me, so I delete the voice mails without even listening to them. I can imagine how they're going to sound. Something along the lines of how she can't believe I broke up with Charles while his mom was in the hospital. How she can't believe I left his brothers and sisters alone, and just generally telling me how badly I've messed up. No thank you. I don't need that right now. I'm starting to wonder why I bothered getting her to come home, because now all she seems to be doing is lecturing me.

There's also a call from Carly which came in about twenty minutes ago. I clear the missed call log and then call Carly. It rings twice and then the line connects.

'Where have you been?' Carly says impatiently, 'I've been like... oh, I guess I only called you once, oops, never mind.'

'I was sleeping.'

'Past noon?' She asks and I can hear the smile in her voice, 'Lady of leisure are we?'

'Summer is for sleeping in and staying out late.' I say sitting up and looking out over the water, 'What's up?'

'Xavier and I are taking out my dad's boat for the afternoon, and if you can get your skinny self down to the dock in like...Xavier how long until we leave?' She shouts the last bit and forgets to move the phone, so I end up getting her shouting right into my ear. I move my phone away slightly as I get out of bed and wander into my bathroom, switching on the shower. 'If you can get here in like half an hour,
then you should join us.'