Between Now and Goodbye (12 page)

'So that's it?' He asks, 'We're over?'

'Yeah.' I nod. 'I do really want to keep you as a friend you know.' Again I wait for a response, but this time he just walks out of the house.

I breathe a steady, even breath. I feel like a weight has been lifted and I'm finally free from the responsibility of being his girlfriend. I don't have to worry about doing or saying the right thing. I don't have to hold his hand while he talks about his mom.

I'm free.

Sixteen – Libby

Two hours pass. I fed the kids, make sure they brush their teeth and get changed for bed. Then read the younger ones a bedtime story and get everyone off to sleep. Which took a little extra convincing to get Lewis to go to bed, and a lot of lullaby's to get April to sleep.

Now I'm cleaning up the kitchen. It's late, but I called my mom to let her know that Charles needs me to stay a while. I didn't go into details about Julie leaving the kids here alone. I figure I should wait and see what Charles says when he gets back. Only I hadn't expected it to take this long, not that I mind sticking around. I'm just getting worried.

I wipe down the counter. The cleaning fluid is one that I know my mom recommended when Charles was having trouble figuring out which one he was meant to buy. It's a lemon scented one which cleans really well, but it always gives me a headache.

I move onto unloading the dishwasher, and just as I'm putting the last glass away, I hear a key turning in the lock. A minute later, Charles walks in.

'I am so sorry.' He says immediately. 'I lost track of time and I didn't mean to leave you here to handle everything and...did you clean?'

'I had some spare time.' I reply, closing the door of the dishwasher.

'Wow.' He stares at me for a moment, and then for the second time in the span of a few hours, he starts crying in front of me.

'Hey, what is it?' I move over to him and give him a hug. 'Did it go badly with Julie?'

'You could say that.' He laughs in a humorless way and pulls away from my arms. 'Where are the kids?' He asks.

'In bed.' I reply, 'Katie?'

'Just sent her up to bed, she was upset about mom being in the hospital and guilty over leaving tonight, especially when she found out Julie had walked out. Uh...did everyone eat?'

'Everyone's fed, cleaned up, changed and put to bed.' I reply.

'Those super powers must come in handy.' He's not crying anymore and instead he's looking embarrassed that he started crying in the first place, even though the tears only lasted a minute or so.

'Oh, you know,' I shrug, 'they come in handy now and again.'

'I'm sorry you got dumped with all of this tonight.'

'Don't worry about it, that's what friends are for. So...were you at Julie's this whole time? I mean, other than picking Katie up?'

'No.' He laughs but it's bitter, it falls flat and makes me ache for him. 'No, I was in and out of Julie's in less than twenty minutes.'

'Oh.'

'It turns out it doesn't take long for her to break-up with me.'

'She did what?' I go cold all over and I have to lean against the counter to steady myself.

'She said that she's bored of our relationship, and that she's felt that way for quite a while.' He replies, 'And here I was stupidly thinking she actually wanted to be with me.'

'I'm so sorry Char.'

'I just don't get it. Did she give you any indication that she wasn't happy?' He asks. My stomach drops, because there's no way I can lie to him. He's one of my best friends, and I'm not going to lie to him. Besides, Julie asked me not to tell him anything while she was making up her mind, and clearly, she's come to a decision.

'She did mention something.' I reply, 'Just a few days ago, though, while I was in New York. I didn't have any idea before that.'

'Ah.' He drops down onto one of the chairs at the kitchen table. His hands resting on the sides of his head, elbows on the tabletop. 'So you knew?'

'No!' I rush forward and sit opposite him. 'Char I didn't. She said that she was possibly thinking about ending things, she mentioned that she was a bit bored, but I honestly thought that she still loved you.'

'I'm not sure she ever did.'

'Of course she did.' I say quickly, 'Char she did, and I'm so sorry I didn't tell you about her calling me, but she specifically asked me not to and...'

'It's ok. I don't blame you for not telling me. It wasn't your place to tell me, and she's your best friend as much as I am. More even.'

'Why more?' I ask.

'Because, you're both girls so doesn't that mean you have that girl code thing or whatever.' He says. I raise an eyebrow at him.

'I think maybe Julie's had you watching a few too many teen movies.' I laugh and then realize he probably doesn't want jokes right now, so I let the laugh die in my throat, 'Look, you're just as much my friend as she is, and frankly, at the moment she's making me angry way more times that I'd like to admit to.'

'She's right to break up with me.' He says after a couple beats of silence. 'I'm a mess right now.'

'Julie ended things because of her. She was bored. You didn't do anything wrong.'

'Maybe not wrong, but I wasn't doing things right. I wasn't around for her as much as I used to be.' He points out.

'You have other things to worry about.' I remind him, not that he needs the reminder.

'That's the problem though isn't it, trying to juggle all of this stuff with my family and a girlfriend.'

'I'm really sorry.' I never seem to be able to find something better to say.

'Well, at least my mom will be happy.' He sits up straighter and lets his hands fall to his sides.

'Why would this make her happy?'

'Because, she never understood why Julie and I were together. When we were kids we were a lot more similar, but as we grew up, my mom always thought that we'd end up losing touch. She also thinks that Julie is a touch too self-obsessed.'

'Your mom said that?' I laugh out loud.

'She's a lot more blunt now that she's sick.' He nods his head, laughing lightly.

'Do you mind if I'm blunt?' I ask.

'Go ahead.'

'Why were you with her so long? I mean she's one of my best friends, even when she does things that drive me crazy. It's just that...I don't know, the two of you don't seem to have anything in common and she is a little...how can I put it without sounding horrible...high maintenance. She has so many good qualities, but being a good girlfriend, it's not exactly one of them. Your whole relationship has been about you doing stuff for her, and just from what I can tell, she doesn't give a lot back. So I guess I'm just wondering why you put up with it?'

'Because,' he looks at me with a dull hopeless look in his eyes, his posture slumps and he lets out a little breath, 'I love her.'

I end up falling asleep on Charles' couch, after staying up into the early hours of the morning talking over his relationship with Julie. He wanted to know what I thought went wrong, only he kept asking what he did wrong, and from my point of view, he hasn't done anything wrong. Sure he hasn't been able to take her out as often as before, but he always makes sure he has time for her. He takes her out when he can, at least once a week.

For the most part I just listened, because I don't know what happened between them. I don't understand how someone can love you one minute, and be bored the next. I'm not the best authority, of course, considering I've been on a grand total of two dates in my life, both of them with a boy called Jamie. Both dates happened over a one week period last year, and each was really awkward and neither of us spoke all that much.

I'm aching from sleeping on the not hugely comfortable couch. I open my eyes and look around. The lounge is empty, so either Charles went up to his room last night rather than falling asleep where he'd been on the couch next to me, or he's already up and managed to get up from under the weight of my feet on his lap, without waking me. I glance at the clock on the wall. It's just after nine, which means that undoubtedly he's awake, regardless where he slept.

I get myself up off the couch and run my fingers through my hair. Neaten up my dungarees which, at some point while I was sleeping, have come unclasped on one side, and started twisting around me.

Once I'm fairly certain I no longer look like I've just been dragged through a bush by my hair, I head off in search of the two things I need most. Coffee and Charles, to check that he's ok post breakup.

The kitchen in empty, but there's coffee in the pot, and the pot has a bright Post-it on the front.

Caffeine has multiple bad side effects. I emailed you a list. You should probably limit your copious intake of it. Hence the fact that there is only enough for one cup in this machine, and I've hidden the bag. It's for your own good. -Char

I laugh out loud and pour out the coffee into the large blue mug with a yellow smiley face on it, my mug whenever I'm here. Sure enough the warm black liquid runs out as soon as my cup is full. I find it funny that he's always warning me about drinking too much coffee, I've had emails before today, and yet it was at his house that I got my very first taste of it.

His mom is something of a caffeine addict, or at least she was until she got sick and decided to go on an extremely healthy diet. She's the one who gave me my first ever cup of coffee a couple of days after I moved here. She's the one who taught me about different blends and directed me to the best places to buy coffee in a ten mile radius. She's the one who taught me how to make the perfect cup of coffee.

I'm lost in these thoughts until I hear a shriek from the yard and instantly I'm moving. I go over to the door to look out, worried that one of the kids has hurt themselves. Instead, I see Charles chasing the twins around the yard with the hose. Both of them are in their bathing suits, as is Charles, and while the twins are soaked from head to toe, Charles is almost completely dry.

I step out onto the small paved area before you reach the lawn. Hold a hand above my eyes to block out the sun and smile at how happy Charles seems to be this morning. His family always do know how to cheer him up the best.

Charles spots me and waves. I wave back, and while he's distracted by me, Lewis appears from behind the small tool shed, and grabs the hose from Charles' hands, turning it on him and soaking his brother, until Charles playfully wrestles it back.

'Want to play Libby?' Georgia runs over. Stands in front of me with a wide smile on her flushed face. She's dripping water onto my bare feet from her wet blonde hair.

'Maybe in a bit. I can't do anything until I've had my first cup of coffee.' I smile, making sure I say it loud enough that Charles can hear. He responds by groaning, but he laughs at the same time.

'That's what my mommy always used to say.' Georgia grins.

'Your mom's a smart lady.'

'I wish that she was here to stay with us.' Georgia's smile drops and I pull her up onto my lap. One arm snaking around her waist, ignoring the wetness that starts seeping into my dungarees. My other hand holds onto my coffee.

'I know you do sweetie, we all miss her, but she'll be home soon.' I let Georgia rest her head against my shoulder while I finish up my coffee, and then I stand up and set her back onto her feet. 'Ok,' I smile at her, 'what do you think...girls against boys?'

'But there's more of them.' Georgia purses her lips and studies the three dripping wet boys who are still rushing around the yard, with seemingly endless energy. I'm glad I've had my coffee or else I may not have been able to keep up.

'That's true, but I think we can handle three boys between us.' I smile at her and she beams up at me, a toothy grin that takes over her entire face. 'We just have to be a little bit more...clever.' I reply and then whisper a plan to her. A minute later I'm holding up my arms and calling for them to hold fire for a moment. Charles, just like I knew he would, twists the nozzle into its off position, and I walk across the wet grass towards him.

'Hey, so I'd better take off, explain to my mom and Matt why I didn't come home last night.'

'Oh, right sure.' He smiles, 'Listen, thanks for listening last night, I was... well, I needed to talk, and you were there again. You're a really great friend.'

'Any time.' I say honestly, and then I hug him, and in the process I grab the hose from his hands, twist the nozzle, back up and start spraying him.

'You're such a cheat.' He laughs loudly.

'And you're slow.' I sprint across the small yard, keeping the hose on him, just as Georgia returns to her yard, pulling the hose from my yard with her and turning it on Sean and Lewis.

Charles runs towards me and throws one arm around my waist, lifting me off the ground while his other hand reaches for the hose.