Bindings and Books (2 page)

He smiled. “Yeah, it’s okay. I get that kind of reaction all the time. I’m lucky to get paid for doing something I love. What about you? What line of work are you in?”

James cleared his throat. “I own a bookstore. It’s called The Pages. I…. It’s in the city center.”

James’s sister returned with drinks and introduced herself.

After a few minutes chatting about the weather, he angled his body back toward James “How did the skiing go today?”

“Well, a little better than yesterday, but I think I need to sign up for some lessons. It seems there’s only so much you can learn from the Internet.” With a slight smile, James dipped his head.

Ash’s heart rate sped up. This could be his opening. “I’d be happy to take you out to the slopes tomorrow and give you some help.”

“No! I-I mean, thanks, but I’m sure you have better things to do.”

“It’s no trouble.”

“You should go, James,” said Rachael. “How often do you get to have private lessons from a more experienced man?”

He spotted the angry look passing from James to his sister. Had her innuendo been deliberate?

He touched James’s knee. “I’d really like to help you. You could repay me by buying pizza tomorrow night. You could both come to the house for dinner and meet the gang.”

“Go,” said Rachael. “Ash could be the best thing for you… and your skiing.”

James scowled.

If looks could kill… poor Rachael.
“Listen, you don’t have to decide right now. You can see how you feel in the morning. I could swing by your place tomorrow morning around nine? You can decide then.”

Rachael smiled. “That sounds like a plan. Doesn’t it, James?”

“Mmm.”

Talk about serious undercurrents between James and his sister! Definitely time to change the subject. Leaning forward, he ran his hand down James’s arm. “I love your jacket.” Warm leather slid beneath his fingers as he encircled a forearm. With firm strokes, his thumb pressed against the supple material and arm beneath. “This leather is really soft.”

“Ah, good. Thanks. I mean….” James visibly swallowed. “Yes. I’ve had it a long time.”

He loved James’s nervousness. Smiling, he settled back against the couch. This big, beautiful man stirred something inside him, and he wanted to discover more. First, he had to get rid of the frown from James’s face. Then he was determined to make him smile
that
smile again.

A
RRIVING
BACK
at their ski cabin, James followed his sister into the kitchen and threw his gloves on the table. “I can’t believe you! That was so embarrassing. You should have just shouted out that I was ‘gay and available.’ It would have been a lot less painful for everyone. The poor guy must have been so embarrassed.”

Rachael sat down and rested her arms on the table. “No way. I think he really likes you.”

Jerking the chair out, he sat down heavily. “You’re delusional.”

She shook her head. “James, short of going all cavemanish on you and clubbing you over the head, the guy couldn’t have been more obvious. He couldn’t keep his hands off you.”

He scoffed. “He just wanted to feel if my leather jacket was soft.”

She chuckled. “You don’t really believe that, do you? And I suppose he just had to touch your leg five or six times, because he doesn’t know what denim feels like.”

“I… I think….”

“Oh, he loved that too!”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“Every time you went all tongue-tied and stuttery. He was loving it!”

He scowled. “Are you drunk or something? First of all, a young, sexy guy like Ash could have anyone he wanted. Why would he be interested in an old man like me? Secondly, why would he like that my brain turns to mush, and I can’t answer simple questions? The guy probably thinks I’m a complete imbecile.”

Reaching over, she patted his hand. “James, James. When it comes to guys, you are so blind. You know, you’re very attractive. I see guys looking at you all the time.”

“Well….”

“Well, nothing. I think Ash was into that whole contradiction thing you had going on.”

He sighed. “Do I even want to know what you’re talking about?”

“I mean… you look like this big beautiful, confident, and, not to be weird or anything, really sexy guy, but when he spoke or touched you, you went all stammery and blushed. It was adorable. Ash thinks you’re adorable.”

“I do
not
blush!”
Damn it!
He could feel the heat rising up his neck now.

She snickered. “You do… and he likes you.”

He shook his head. “I don’t know why I’m even discussing this with you. Firstly, we don’t know that he’s gay. And secondly, if I was looking for someone—and I say if, he is the total opposite of what I want in a partner.”

She raised her eyebrow. “So you’re looking for old, ugly, and boring?”

“No! It should be someone my own age. Ash is way too young. I need dependable, settled, someone who shares common interests and I feel comfortable with—a good fit.”

“Urhh! Sounds like a pair of old slippers. You know you can’t always control who you’re attracted to.”

“I am not attracted to him.”

“Ha! What a liar! You just said he was sexy and I saw how you reacted to him. Is it because he looks so young? You did hear him say he’s actually twenty-eight, didn’t you?”

“I heard… but anyone looking at him would think he’s
much
younger. If people saw us together, they’d probably think I was his father.”

“Oh my God! Now who’s delusional? Ash may look younger than he actually is, but he doesn’t look
that
young.” She shook her head. “Stop worrying about what people think. This guy is
really
nice, and at twenty-eight, he’s a grown man. Please… give him and yourself a chance.”

His stomach clenched. He really liked Ash, but at the same time, he hated that he was attracted to someone who appeared so young.

She placed her hand over his. “You need to stop letting the past hold you back. Go for a ski lesson. Eat some pizza. Try to keep an open mind and see where things lead. Okay?”

With his stomach roiling as if he were seasick, he lurched to his feet. The floor swayed beneath him as he moved to stare at the odd assortment of coffee mugs on the shelf above the kettle.
Two, four, six, that one’s chipped, eight, ten—

“James?”

Two, four, six, eight, ten, twelve, thirteen—

“James! Are you going for the ski lesson or not?”

J
AMES
STOOD
in the middle of the road and stared at the house owned by Ash’s employer. Was this a date? The day’s ski lesson had gone well. Ash’s friendly, easygoing patience had made for an enjoyable day, but there had been no clear signs from Ash to indicate an attraction. Perhaps Ash was just a nice, friendly young guy who felt sorry for the pathetic man who came on vacation with his sister.

His gaze roamed over the large house before him. A gorgeous man like Ash would not be interested in him. No, this was just pizza with a group of people—payback for a ski lesson.

A young blond man with a sour expression opened the front door. “So, James, I’m Brody.”

“Hi, Brody….” The young man turned away, leaving James to talk to an open doorway. Right, then.
Nice to meet you too.

With some heavy stomping, he dislodged the excess snow from his boots before entering the house. Inside the mudroom, he removed his leather jacket and placed his boots neatly next to the disorderly pile of ski gear before following Brody into the main living area.

Wow! Polished wood, height, space, and a huge wall of windows confronted him. What a house! It was amazing.

Brody ran up the stairs. “Ash! He’s here!” The harsh yell echoed through the house.

James’s breath caught as Ash descended the polished wooden staircase with lithe grace. The “just stepped from the shower” look had his pulse quickening. His fingers itched to run through the damp spiky hair, then rip away the tight black T-shirt to reveal the muscles beneath. His cock stirred.
Oh God!
He needed to get a grip before he embarrassed himself. He shoved his hands into his pockets and rocked on his heels.

“Hi, James, glad you could make it. No sister tonight?”

“N…. No, Rachael decided to stay home tonight, but she said to thank you for the invitation.”

Ash moved closer. “Okay. Well, the inhabitants of Camelot Castle have also had a change of plan. They’re all going out to hear a band play, so it will only be the two of us for dinner. I hope that’s okay?”

He cleared his throat. “Yeah… sure.”

Four young people thundered down the stairs, followed by a subdued and silent Brody.

A girl with short black hair detached from the group. “Hi, James. I’m Jess.”

“Hi.”

She gripped Ash’s arm and whispered in his ear.

James’s stomach gave a lurch. Was she Ash’s girlfriend?

After moving a few steps toward the door, she turned back. “You two behave.” A smile teased the edges of her mouth. “Or not.”

With the inner mudroom door closing behind them, muffled laughter filtered through for a few seconds. A deep thud from the front door announced their departure and the silence echoed loudly throughout the house.

He swallowed the lump in his throat.

They were alone.

Exhaling slowly, he followed Ash into the kitchen area. Right, so they were alone. So what? He needed to stay calm and not act like a complete moron.
And stop staring at his ass—you idiot!

Despite his initial misgivings, he enjoyed the evening of pizza and great conversation. He began to feel comfortable with Ash and even had the stuttering under control. Finally!

Seated at the dining table, he told Ash about his functional modern apartment. “… but I’d love a terrace house. They have loads of character and all those beautiful ornate ceilings and fireplaces, and there’s nothing quite the same as hundred-year-old floorboards.”

A smile illuminated Ash’s face. “Yeah, I love them too. I can imagine making a real home in one of them. I’m a bit tired of sharing a tiny apartment with Jess and Brody. I mean, financially it makes sense, because we all travel so much, but maybe, if I take the promotion they’re offering me… I’d be working full time in the city, so I could think about finding a home of my own.”

James shifted forward in his seat. “So, no more traveling. How do you feel about that?”

“Well, I’ve loved all the adventure traveling, but I’m ready to settle down. I’d love to come home at the end of the day to a cozy house, a dog to greet me, maybe a partner. Truthfully, it’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

James found that a little hard to believe. Ash lived an adventurous and fun life. Would he really give it all up for a house and a partner? And he said “partner,” not girlfriend or wife. Did that mean a “gay” partner? Right. Mustn’t let his thoughts get out of control. The use of one word did not prove Ash was gay, and there was still the age thing.

After dinner, he sat on the couch by the fire while Ash prepared coffee with a large, complex coffee machine. The hard curves of muscle across Ash’s back and arms, clearly defined by the tight T-shirt, begged for his touch.
And that ass!

Ash turned around.

Oops!
Quickly raising his gaze to eye level, he encountered Ash’s smile.
Great! Now he thinks I’m an idiot and a perv.

Ash handed him a cup of espresso. “Coffee?”

The smooth, fragrant liquid slid over his tongue, and his eyebrows rose. “Wow!”

Ash smiled. “Good coffee and company. What more could you need?”

Soft music played, and the reflected flames from the fireplace flickered across Ash’s handsome face. Like a big contented cat, he settled back into the couch to bask in the warmth of the fire and Ash’s company.
Nothing.
Right at that moment there was nothing else he needed.

Warm fingers brushed against his, and the empty cup disappeared from his hand. A knee pressed against his leg. His breath caught. Was Ash making a move?

Ash’s hand slid to his thigh, sending a tingling warmth toward his groin. With a racing heart, he focused on the splayed hand. Fingers curled to brush his inner thigh. Muscles tensed.

Yes, I think he is.

His breaths became shallow as fingers slowly moved higher. The blood drained from his head and rushed to his cock. A little higher and—

“James.”

His focus shot upward to lock on Ash’s eyes. Warm fingers curled around the back of his neck and fingernails lightly scraped through the hair at the base of his skull. Shivers snuck down his spine.
Damn but that was good!
With a deep, ragged breath, he drew air into his desperate lungs.

With a tug, Ash drew his head closer. “I am really attracted to you, James, and I’m hoping you feel the same.”

And there it was. Clear. Unambiguous.

But Ash’s declaration only raised more questions. What exactly did Ash want? Tonight or more?

What do I want? Tonight or more?

Oh God!
He dragged air into his lungs. He wanted… but Ash appeared so young. What would people think? Could he—?

Lips brushed his. Soft. Warm.

His eyelids drifted closed. Ash, gorgeous Ash.

Lips pressed and lingered. Hands slid and caressed. Convictions slipped. Lines and boundaries blurred. Ash’s hair, silky and smooth beneath his fingers. Ash’s face—

His eyes opened.
Oh God!
Ash’s gorgeous, but very young face.

His heart sank as the ugly voice of reason reared its head. His father. People would think he was exactly like his father.

With a groan, he wrenched himself away and stood up. “I’m sorry. I want… I’m sorry, but I can’t do this.”

“James!”

Each step he took toward the door tightened the vise around his chest. One last look. What could it hurt? With his hand on the door, he paused. One last image to take away with him. He turned.