Bindings and Books (4 page)

“Hi. Umm… just getting lunches from the sandwich shop.” He pointed.

“Oh Gino’s. I love their turkey sandwiches. Hey, I think I’ll join you.”

James wiped his sweaty palms against his pants. “Okay, sure.”

Ash fell into step beside him. Their arms brushed together, and his chest tightened.
Great!
He would probably stammer through the orders and make a fool of himself. Again.

Inside the shop, he managed to sound semicoherent despite the distraction of Ash’s arm repeatedly brushing against him. The breath caught in his throat as a hand touched his lower back. Damn that was good, but there were people behind them. Watching.

He eased away and fled to the row of high swivel stools and a narrow counter against the window. Seated with his side to the window, he placed his elbow on the tabletop. With his long legs crowding the next stool, Ash should avoid it. It would be a little easier to breathe with some distance between them.

Ash chose the closest stool.

So that didn’t work. Holding his breath, he waited for their legs to touch. Mirror image, Ash settled onto the stool. Like the teeth of a cog, Ash’s left leg slotted between his, effectively trapping him.

Ash was talking, his mouth moving, but James couldn’t hear a single word. Ash’s denim-covered knee lay a mere two-degree turn from touching the inside of James’s leg. The blood pulsed and throbbed in his head, as if testing the strength of the veins that enclosed it.

Ash shifted on the stool.

The distance remained unchanged.

He exhaled and shook his head. Snap out of it! Focus on Ash and listen.

“…but it’s a shame about their coffee. So I guess I’ll have to get one somewhere else.”

Don’t do it, don’t do it!
James cleared his throat. “Well, I guess you could come back to the bookstore. Nicholas can make you one.”

Ash smiled. “Thanks, James, that would be great.”

Damn it!

M
IDSENTENCE
,
HE
stopped talking. Rachael was fussing with her damn phone again. He sighed and let his gaze drift over the café décor. Their outdoor table had a red tablecloth and a small flowering potted plant. The chairs were an eclectic mix of age and style. Usually he disliked the haphazard mix-and-match approach, but these worked quite well.

With a raised eyebrow, he turned to his sister. “I hope I’m not boring you?”

“What?”

“I thought I was going to have lunch with my sister, not watch her rudely use her phone to text other people.”

Rachael pressed send, then put her phone away. “Sorry, all done.”

“So, what made you choose this place?”

“I thought it was time for a change. We always seem to go to the same places, and I decided you could use a little bit of a shakeup. Challenge that OCD streak of yours and get you out of your old-man routine.”

“Gee, thanks you’re all heart, sis. Just so you know, my OCD can be quite useful at times, and you should have some respect when addressing your elders.”

She smiled and took a sip of water. “So tell me about your week so far.”

“Well, I’m a bit worried about Steph. She’s been acting even more strangely than usual.”

“Oh? What’s she done?”

“She’s all skittish and jumpy, and I’m sure she hung up on a customer the other day. And she’s vague and won’t give me a straight answer. I don’t know—it’s like her brain is somewhere else.”

She smirked. “You just described how you’ve been behaving lately. Is there something on your mind, James? Or maybe someone?”

He scowled. Sometimes sisters were a pain in the—

“Hi! Nice to see you,” said Rachael.

“Pardon?” He turned to see who Rachael was looking at. The breath caught in his throat.
Ash!
“What? Ah… hi, Ash.”

Rachael jumped up and dragged another chair to the table. “Here, sit down and join us.”

Ash put his hand on the back of the chair. “Thanks.”

Ash and his tight jeans stood next to him, almost brushing against his shoulder.
Of all the places in town to—

A warm hand pressed on his shoulder. “Is that okay with you, James?”

James cleared his throat. “Yeah, sure.”

With Ash sitting next to him, the table suddenly seemed too small. The brush of Ash’s leg against his sent his heart racing.
Oh God!
He swallowed. “So what brings you here, Ash?”

“Head office of Out There Adventure Sports is next door.”

Damn!
What were the odds?

The young waitress hurried to their table to take Ash’s order. Focusing all her attention on Ash, she giggled and flirted her way through the order. Flipping her hair for the tenth time, she fluttered her eyelashes at Ash and lingered beside him.

Ridiculous girl!
How could that kind of behavior appeal to anyone? He drummed his fingers on the table. Her manager needed to instruct her on appropriate behavior. God, he needed a drink. “And you can get me a glass of red wine!”

Her body jerked. “Of course, right away, sir.” She scurried off.

The warm weight of Ash’s hand covered James’s drumming fingers.

A palm pressed. A thumb stroked.

The tension eased from his muscles, leaving his body boneless and in danger of melting into Ash’s touch.

But that was something he couldn’t allow.

Clearing his throat, he slipped his hand away and placed it in his lap. “So…. Have you just come from the office?”

“Yeah. I had to find out when I leave for Canada.”

“You’re leaving?” His hands clenched into fists preparing to fight.
No!

“I leave on Saturday. I’ll be gone for two weeks.”

Tense muscles relaxed. Right. Two weeks. For a moment, he had thought….

Over the past few weeks, there had been countless accidental encounters with Ash, and he had begun to…
anticipate
the next meeting.

Damn!
One, two, three, four flower buds on the potted plant. Five, six, seven….

T
HE
COOL
evening air raised goose bumps on James’s bare arms as he exited the gym. The early evening walk home was usually something he enjoyed. It gave him a chance to soak in the atmosphere of the city, but tonight it was a chore. He paused to flex his aching, overworked right knee. The past two weeks he had been a little down, blue, sad, or whatever one wanted to call it. He did not know why.

Liar! You know why.

He had no reason to hurry home. Only a cold, lonely apartment and a frozen dinner for one awaited him.

Wait!
The breath caught in his throat. Was that Ash? As each step brought them closer, James’s smile grew wider. “Ash! Hi! When did you get back from Canada?”

“Yesterday. I see you’ve been to the gym.”

Ash’s hand sweeping down James’s bare arm left an invisible trail of scorched skin. Shifting his gym bag to the other hand, he jerkily ran his fingers through his damp hair. “So good. I mean, yes, I’ve just finished a session.”

“Your apartment’s close by isn’t it? I’ll walk with you. Oh wait!” Ash grasped his arm. “I’ll fix this for you.”

Fingers ran through his hair. Fingernails lightly scratched his scalp.

His breath hitched.
Oh God!

“There!” Ash stood back to look at him. “Perfect!”

A warm tingling sensation lingered on his scalp—and other places. Perfect? What was Ash trying to do to him? Gorgeous, sexy Ash could have anyone he wanted.
Damn it! Why does he have to look so young?

While walking side by side, Ash repeatedly brushed against James’s bare skin. At each obstacle they encountered, Ash’s hand caressed his back. Ash liked to touch. There were plenty of obstacles.

He cleared his throat. “So, how was your trip?”

“Good, but I’m glad to be back. It was a very long two weeks, and I couldn’t wait to get home.”

“Really?” Like a slapstick comedy, his foot snagged on the pavement, and he lurched forward.

A firm hand grabbed his elbow. One embarrassing face plant averted—
thank God!
Swallowing the lump in his throat, he looked away from Ash’s smiling face.
Damn!
They were already outside his apartment.
Don’t do it! Don’t ask him inside!
“This is me. I guess I’ll see you around.”
Yes!
What willpower!

Ash moved to stand directly in front of him. Their eyes locked.

Yes. No! Oh hell.

A warm palm settled over his heart. His eyelids drifted closed. Could Ash feel his heart racing? As the hand slid sideways, each finger bumped then grazed his nipple, his thin T-shirt dragging against the sensitive bud like fine sandpaper. Where the hell had all the damned oxygen gone?

The hand trailed sparks of fire down one side of his chest, tracing each rib in a zigzag pattern. He hauled air into his aching lungs, as fingertips skated over his stomach. Southward. His cock pulsed and hardened in anticipation, and the noises of the street receded.

That hand…. He opened his eyes.

That mouth…. Those lips…. If he leaned down, he could run his tongue across that plump lip—

The corners of Ash’s mouth crept upward. “Okay, James, I’ll see you around.”

His stomach lurched as Ash strode away. The blood thrummed through his head as he staggered backward and slumped against the wall. With every fiber of his being, he wanted to grab Ash and drag him back. He wanted to slam him against the wall and grind against every delicious inch of that body. For the first time in his life, he wanted to lose himself in instinct and urges and impulse.

And damn the consequences!

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Shit!

“R
ACHAEL
! Y
OU
can’t just issue an invitation to people to come to
my
apartment.”

“Well, I did, and they’ll be here in about—”

The doorbell rang.

Flashing him a cheeky grin, she opened the door to welcome Jess and Ash.

His heart raced at the sight of Ash dressed in his usual sexy combination of tight T-shirt and ass-hugging jeans.

Damn!

Rachael and Jess chose a movie, then claimed the largest couch.
Great.
He slid down next to Ash on the barely-big-enough-for-two-men couch. Ash’s leg pressed against his thigh.

Their eyes met.

Double damn!

Concentrating on the movie proved impossible as Ash’s fingers roamed over his leg, diverting his attention. First, as they slowly scratched against the material of his jeans, and then as they swirled in a circular motion. Pure torture. With the evidence of his arousal threatening to show itself, he trapped Ash’s hand in his own.

Ash threaded their fingers together.

It felt good.
Damn good
.

Why was he fighting this attraction again?

The television flickered as the movie credits rolled onto the screen. Had he missed the ending? On the other side of the darkened room, Rachael and Jess slunk out the front door. “Where are they going?”

Ash turned toward him. “They said something about buying coffee.” Ash slid a hand around James’s jaw, urging his head closer until their lips almost touched. “I want you.”

With a slight tug, the remaining distance disappeared. Ash’s fingers moved across James’s jaw. Soft lips grazed his. Molten fire pulsed through his veins and pooled in his groin.

Damn it!
He was tired of resisting.

With a hoarse groan, he grasped Ash’s face. Hands clung, teeth nipped, lips slid and pressed. As if a dam had burst, his body and mind flooded with urgency and need.

He maneuvered Ash backward. His mouth claimed and devoured, while he pressed Ash into the softness of the couch. Entwined. Chest to chest. Nothing else existed.

Strong hands grasped his ass, and his cock pulsed, straining against the confining fabric of his jeans. He needed more. Sliding one knee between Ash’s legs, he ground against a hard hip, sending fire burning through his groin.

Ash’s bottom lip glistened, begging for attention. Swooping in, he nipped at the tempting swollen flesh before fusing their mouths together again.
Closer!
He needed skin. Pulling away, James grabbed the hem of Ash’s shirt, then paused.

What was he doing?
If he continued, there would be no turning back.

He grasped Ash’s wandering hand. “Wait!”

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m not sure—about this. About us.”

Ash sat up and settled on the couch beside him. “James.” Fingers brushed the outline of his rigid cock. “You obviously want me so tell me what’s going on in that big beautiful head of yours. Are you ashamed to be with me?”

“No! Oh God, I’m so sorry if I made you think that.”

“Then what is it?”

He ran his fingers through his hair, waiting for the fog of lust to clear from his brain. “It’s twenty plus years of guilt and fear… promises I made to myself. I’m sorry, I’m not making much sense.”

“It’s okay, take your time.”

He drew in a deep breath. “It’s our age difference. Judgment. My father—not a nice guy. I guess it all leads back to my father. He cheated—a lot. But the worst of it was he liked his girls young. Really young. Most of them were barely legal.”

Ash squeezed his hand. “I’m so sorry.”

He slid his hand away. He could not allow himself to accept comfort. He needed to finish the story while he had the courage. “The final straw was when he started harassing a friend of Rachael’s from high school. My mother lost it and kicked him out. It was disgusting and sick. He was a forty-four-year-old married man, and Susannah was barely seventeen. Once the details came out, people changed. Friends, neighbors, and kids at school. Along with judging my father, they judged us. They judged me. I hated being judged, and I hated what my father had done to us. I vowed never to be like him.”