Bittersweet Deceit (37 page)

T
he dark funk turned me into a hollow version of myself; functioning at work, putting on a smile when necessary, and breaking down at home. I hated Stay with a passion I had never felt toward another. Not even when I saw Mason with his wife. Stay had promised me the moon and then took the stars away along with it. At least Mason was honest from the beginning about what he had to offer. Stayman was a fucking liar.

Everyone other than Stay kept texting me. I even received some from Mason. He asked if I had taken the time to really think
, et cetera. The only one I responded to was Jacqs, letting her know we were still on for my mother’s party on Saturday and asking her to tell everyone else I was fine.

Fine is a funny word when you think about it.
Telling someone I’m fine, in dictionary terms means being satisfactory or in a satisfactory condition. However when our group used it, we tended to mean agreement, or that we aren’t so bad off we’re going to kill ourselves. It didn’t really mean that how we felt was acceptable but just that we would make it through. I would make it through, of that I had no doubt, but I thought I might have to find a new circle of friends.

Maybe someday I’d be capable of being friendly with Stayman but it would take a long time.

Over that Thursday and Friday the only positive thing that happened was that I gave Samantha a substantial raise.

“Here’s your check for April,” I said.

“Why so much? I mean I’m not complaining.”

“I’ve given you a raise and changed your job title to assistant manager.”

“Get the fuck out of town!” She glanced to the check, then to me, then back to the check. She danced around a bit and then threw her arms around my neck and gave me a big hug. “I can’t wait to tell Mom. She’ll be so thrilled.”

“I don’t want you sneaking off and work
ing for someone else,” I said with a smile I actually felt.

“Not a chance.”

I dreaded Saturday
night like the plague. My mother had a keen sense of my vulnerabilities and tended to exploit them for her amusement. If I didn’t feel like I’d totally be letting my father down, I would have blown off her party.

O
n Saturday, staring into my closet, I wished I hadn’t worn the green dress on Wednesday. I liked it and knew I could never wear it again. Instead I slipped into a navy, sleeveless, sequence and lace dress with a sweetheart neckline. The hem came down to about mid-thigh. I wore black pumps and took my time with my makeup. My mother wouldn’t leave the house without a full-face on.

She hated my hair down with natural waves but I figured I needed to give her something to gripe about. Frankly I didn’t have the energy to
blow-dry my hair straight.

Jacqs planned to meet me at my parent’s house so she could make her escape when she
’d had enough. I didn’t blame her at all. My mother had a knack for spreading her venom around when she wanted to.

I gathered all the red wine I still had in the apartment for Mason and brought it with me to the party along with my clutch.
Cars lined either side of the street adjacent to my parent’s place.

My father took the bag filled with wine bottles out of my hand and scooped me up into a big hug. “Hi
, baby girl. Thank you so much for coming.”

“Is
Aunt Sue here yet?”

“No but most of your mother’s friends are. A friend of yours is waiting in the den.”

“Thanks, Dad,” I said, wondering why he didn’t just say Jacqs.

The door to the den stood closed and I had to assume my mother didn’t want her friends going in there.
My father mostly used the wood-paneled room anyway. I shoved open the door, which tended to get stuck on the thick carpet below. Stay sat on the couch and not Jacqs.

“She’s not coming is she?” I asked, crossing my arms in front of me.

“No.”

“I’m going to kill her,” I said through gritted teeth. “Why are you here?”

“I wanted to talk to you.”

“Phone, email, or coming by the store
were all viable options and you chose this? It’s bad enough I have to contend with my mother,” I said, which made me think I should probably close the door. I pushed it shut behind me and locked it. I turned and placed my back against it. “Let’s get this over with and then you can go.”

He stood and started toward me. His snug
, black jeans and his white dress shirt clung to the firm planes of his physique.

I held my palm out in a halting gesture. His sexual energy hit me
like a battering ram and I felt his crystal clear intention. “Don’t,” I said.

“I’m sorry
, OC.”

“Fine, I accept your apology. You can leave
now.” I turned to open the door and he descended upon me.

“No, Lainie. Please stop for a minute
and listen.” He held my face in his hands and pressed his body into me.

“Pushing your hard cock against me isn’t fighting fair.”

With a devilish expression, he said, “I’ve never fought fair where you were concerned. I’m asking you to hear me out.”

“I can’t think st
raight with you on top of me,” I said but didn’t struggle to get out from under him.

“Then I’ll consider it an advantage.
I’m not moving.”

I crushed my palms against the door, not allowing myself to touch him back.

“I’m sorry I spooked. Never in my life have I felt what I feel for you. How we are together, the connection we share. When I thought you went back to Mason, I realized how much I had been lying to myself. I had long since passed casual with you. You had my heart and it felt like you just dropped it on the ground and left it
unguarded. And you were right that it trigger abandonment and being cast aside like I had been in the past.

“I went to see my grandmother yesterday and she knocked some needed sense into me. She said I was treating myself just like my parents did. That it was me alone causing my pain. That if you loved me, why wasn’t I reaching out to you to help me through. That I was treating myself as if I didn’t deserve
your love. That I wasn’t worth it.”

“I know what that feels like.”
I broke down and touched his cheek.

“I love you so much
that it’s hard to know what to do with all the emotion.” He started kissing up my neck and then said, “I promise, if you give me another chance, I’ll never walk away again.”

“You really hurt me
, Stay,” I said, still in pain.

“I know I did. I will spend the rest of my days making it up to you.” He kissed my head and held me tight. “I love you.”

“I hate you,” I said.

Stay crowded me, his lips an inch from mine.
“No you don’t, you’re just angry.”

“I should to be angrier with you.” I felt myself giving in.

“Yes, you should be. Lane, I was so dumb.” He nodded.

“Yes you were. Dumb
-ass dumb.”

“You’re absolutely right.”

“If we try again, I’m never letting you go,” I said, a sob catching in my throat.

“Don’t cry
, honey. I’ve got you.” He took me in his arms and carried me to the couch, rocking me in his lap.

We sat that way for several minutes, not letting go of each other. I held on so tight as if he might be a dream that could go up in a cloud of smoke.

“I’m here, Lainie,” he said as if he heard my thoughts. “Damn I missed you. Everything about you, but your smell especially.” He buried his nose in my hair and breathed. “Listen, OC, I want us to live together. I can move in with you or you can live with me. Either way.”

“When?” I asked, brushing my hand over his
head.

“Oh, don’t stop,” he said
, closing his eyes. “We can start packing up tomorrow.”

“Your place definitely,
” I said, holding his head in my hands.

“
You’re saying yes?”

“Yes, Stay. I love you and I can’t wait to wake up with
you every day.”

“And make love to me every
night?”

“Yes, that too.
What are we going to do about that?” I asked, pointed down at his erection.

“I have an idea.” He lowered me down in front of him.

Kneeling, I unbuttoned his pants and freed his cock, tasting the wet tip. “Hmmmm,” I moaned. I opened my mouth and took him in a deep as I could. I wanted my
nose buried against the base of his shaft but I couldn’t manage it on my own. Tilting my head up, I said, “Help me.”

And he did. He shifted to the edge of the couch and thrust down into my throat
, riding in and out. “Lainie,” he called out. “Oh, you’re taking more ... Jesus ... it feels...” He withdrew and said, “That feels incredible.”

“More.”

He penetrated several more times and said, “As amazing as that feels, I need to be inside you.” He helped me up to my feet. “Have you ever done it in your parent’s house?”

“No
, never.” I shimmed up my dress and removed my silk panties.

Over his lap, he guided my hips down. Then our frantic quest for fulfillment raged and with our mouths locked in a steamy
kiss, our hips collided into one another.

So lost in our coupling, it took me a moment to recognize the
sound of a knock on the door.

“
Lainie, is everything okay?” my father asked. “Your mother keeps asking for you.”

I giggled against Stay’s mouth, trying to hold in the sound. “Just another minute or two and w
e’ll be out.”

Stay continued to grind his hard cock into my pussy and I continued to silently laugh until we both quietly uttered our release,
lips still pressed together.

Every muscle
in my body contracted and convulsed in the ecstasy of our reunion. I wanted to languish in the bliss but knew we had to get moving. I held out my hand and he placed a handkerchief in it. As I wiped up our come, I asked, “Did you tell Granny that I love your hankies?”

“As a matter of fact, I did. She wants to meet you. What she really said was, when you get off your ass and win her back, come bring her to me.”

“I think I’m going to like her,” I said as I pulled on my panties.

“I know she’s going to love you.” He zipped up his pants
.

“How deep in my throat this time?” I asked, straightening the bottom of my dress.

“This far,” he said, holding his fingers about two and a half inches apart.

“Well that’s progress I guess.”

“We’ll keep practicing.” He winked and said, “You look amazing in that dress, Lane. I really loved the green one too, and you weren’t wearing a bra.”

“I didn’t think you noticed,” I said, handing him back the cloth.

“How could I not? Please wear it on our next date. No panties either,” he said, smoothing his black jeans.

“Damn you for making me hot again.”

“Let’s meet your people and then get out of here. I already need you again.” He held my hand as we walked to the door.

“Is my hair okay?” I said, smoothing down the sides.

“You look positively radiant.” His quick, carnal kiss stole my breath again.

“Enough or we’ll never get home,” I said, backing away and unlocking the door.

My father hovered a few feet away.

“Dad, I’m assuming you’ve met Stay
man?” I said, walking forward.

“Briefly. Thank you for putting
a smile on Lainie’s face. She, more than anyone, deserves it.”

“Sir, it’s my goal in life to keep it there.”
Stay kissed the top of my hand.

“Then I like you already.”

“Dad, before we go in, I wanted to tell you, I’m moving in with Stay.”

He patted Stay’s back and said, “You’re a lucky man
, although she’s not much of a cook.”

“Daddy!” I groaned.

“
I’ve got it covered,” Stay said. “She makes up for it in so many other ways.”

My father actually winked at Stay and I almost died of embarrassment. “He’s a keeper,” my dad whispered into my ear.

We found my mother in the kitchen, checking on the progress of the help she hired.

“Hi
, Mom,” I said, getting her attention.

She scanned me up and down and said, “That’s a gorgeous dress but you cheapen it with your hair down.”

Stay didn’t give me a chance to respond. He held out his hand and said, “Stayman Stills, Lainie’s boyfriend.”

She looked up in shock.

“Boyfriend?” she muttered.

“Yes
, and she is wearing her hair my favorite way. Wearing her hair up with that dress would just prematurely age her. She has beautiful waves she should be proud of, which I’m sure you agree?”

“Well ... I ...
you’re really her boyfriend?”

I rolled my eyes and said,
“Yes, Mother and we’re moving in together.”

“Well, I don’t know what to say. It’s surprising.”

“Do you need any assistance?” Stay asked her. “I used to help my grandmother in the kitchen a lot.”

“Lainie’s useless in the kitchen,” she said.

“That hasn’t been my experience,” Stay said and winked at me.

Sex on the dinner table flashed in my mind and I could have sworn Stay sent the image to my
brain.

“Did you know I used to have a dancer’s figure until I had Lainie?” My mother said.

“You’re still a very shapely and attractive woman, Mrs. Simmons,” he said.

I rolled my eyes and on the way out of the kitchen I heard her say, “You’re a very nice young man. I hope Lainie can hold on to you.” I wandered over to my Dad who
was perched on the sideline watching the gathering. “Stay’s busy schmoozing Mother.”

He held my hand and said, “I’m happy for you
, baby girl. Does he rock your world like Mason did?”

“Better, much better.” I snuggled against his arm and listened to him make up stories of what the people around us were saying.

When Stay finally made his way back to me, Dad and I were hysterically laughing.

“I think I missed the fun part,” Stay said. “You were right, Lane, your mother is not a fan.”

“Fortunately her father is,” Dad said.

“Yes it is,” I said, reaching up for a hug. “I love you, Dad. We
’re going to head out.”

“I understand. I love you more
, baby girl.”

“Bye
-bye, daddio.”

He held out his hand to Stay and said, “It’s been a pleasure meeting you, son. I do hope to see a lot more of you. Baby, drag him along on one of our walks.”

“I will.”

Outside,
I said, “We both have our cars, but I don’t want to be apart for a second.”