Blind Squirrels (22 page)

“
Felicia’s
not available,”
I said. 

“You gotta have another friend,
man.  Josh wants you to himself, man.  I don’t want to be a third wheel, man.”

“Most of my friends have
boyfriends, and Olivia wasn’t home when I called her.”  I didn’t want him to be
a third wheel either.

“If you don’t know anyone I can
go with, Josh and I will just go to a bar by ourselves, man.  Right, Josh?”

“I don’t think so.  Kat and I
have been waiting for tonight for a long time,” Josh told Ray.

“You owe me, man – big time.  And
I think we ought to go to that bar I told you about.” 

I was about ready to stop the car
and push Ray out.  I hadn’t much liked him before, and he was quickly losing
points on my likability scale.  If he said, “man” one more time, I was going to
explode!  At the same time, I felt Josh’s growing unrest.  He was torn between
his best friend – whom he’d known at least a year – and his girl – whom he’d
seen only four times.  I was completely aware that I was going to lose this tug
of war if I didn’t do something fast.

“Let’s drive by Olivia’s house. 
She lives right up here.  Maybe she’s home now.”  I would feel guilty pairing Olivia
up with the likes of Ray, but it was a price I was willing to pay to be with
Josh.

“Good idea,” Josh said with a
smile.  With any luck, he wouldn’t have to choose between Ray and me.

Olivia wasn’t home.  Josh’s smile
had faded.  Ray was pushing the envelope.  If I made Josh choose, I might lose
him forever.  I had to diffuse the situation.  “Which bar do you want to go
to?” I asked.  I stopped at a stop sign and waited for their answer.

Out of the corner of my eye, I
saw Olivia’s mom’s red Chevy Nova at a corner gas station.  Olivia was pumping
gas into it.  “Wait a minute!” I shouted.  “There’s Olivia.  Let’s see if she
wants to go out with us.”

I pulled my car up alongside Olivia’s. 
After explaining that Ray didn’t have a date, I asked Olivia if she would like
to go out with him.  She held out until I started to beg.  Then she said,
“Okay, I guess I’ll go.  But I need to change.  Give me twenty minutes; then
pick me up.”

Olivia looked beautiful when she
emerged from her house.  She was wearing a frilly white shirt and a pair of
black pants.   I felt underdressed and out of place in my pink T-shirt and
jeans until I took a glance at Josh and Ray.  Josh was wearing a red T-shirt
and jeans; Ray was wearing his trademark beret, a green T-shirt, and jeans.  Poor
Olivia was the one out of place.

Josh let Olivia into the
backseat.  After some discussion, we made a group decision to go out to the beach. 
Josh suggested Pensacola Beach, where we’d gone for our first date, but we went
to a small private beach on the west end of Foster’s Bank instead.  The drive
to the beach took about twenty minutes since Olivia’s house was on the opposite
side of town.  During the trip, I kept looking in my mirror to see what was
happening in the backseat.  Olivia was sitting as far away from Ray as she
could get.  Ray didn’t seem any happier with Olivia.  I started realizing what
a disaster this night was going to be.

We got to the beach at
five-thirty.  It was still light outside.  We turned on my car radio and sat
there talking together.  Ray was smoking pot, and Olivia didn’t like that.  I
was drinking with Josh and Ray, but I don’t remember if Olivia was drinking.  Olivia
was having a lousy time.  She and Ray were barely speaking.  As a last ditch
effort, Josh suggested that they take a walk on the beach together.  Both Olivia
and Ray were okay with the idea, so they got out of the car and left Josh and
me alone.

Josh and I enjoyed our moments
alone.  I smoked a joint with him, but I still didn’t like it.  We kissed, and
Josh laid my head in his lap and stroked my hair.  “Lay Down Sally” came on the
radio, and he sang it to me – changing the words to “lay down Kat.”  We talked
until the sun had disappeared completely. 

At last, Ray and Olivia
returned.  I could tell that Olivia was still unhappy, but she wasn’t
complaining.  After they got back in the car, Josh looked at me and shrugged.  Ray
said, “Let’s go to Pensacola Beach, man.” 

It wasn’t exactly what I wanted
to do, but I hoped it might ease the tension that was mounting in the back.  Ray
was drinking again, and, after a minute, he lit up another joint.  I knew I had
to get Olivia away from Ray, but I wasn’t sure how.  Maybe I would think of a
solution while we drove to the other beach.

Along the way, I began to hear
strange noises from the backseat.  I could see Olivia sitting behind Josh, but Ray
was completely out of sight.  Josh looked back at Ray.  “Are you okay?” he
asked.

“Sure, I’m fine, man,” Ray
answered. 

Just then, I heard a noise I
recognized: Ray was vomiting.  Then I heard Olivia’s voice, and she was
screaming.  “Oh, shit!  He just threw-up all over me!  Kat, you need to find a
gas station and stop!  Now!”

There were no gas stations in
sight, but I turned down a street that led to one.  It took about five minutes,
but I found a place to stop.  I pulled up beside the restroom and jumped out. 
Josh hopped out, and Olivia practically knocked him down getting out of the
backseat.  Her beautiful white shirt wasn’t beautiful or white anymore.  I
looked at her and asked, “Is there any on my seat?”

“Kat!” she yelled. “Look at me. 
Do you really think I care about your seat?  Come help me get this puke off
me.”

I looked at Josh.  “I’ll take
care of your car.  Go help Olivia,” he said.

I thanked him and followed Olivia
into the lady’s room.  She took off her blouse and began washing it in the
sink.  I just stood there staring at her.  “I guess you want to go home,” I
said.

“No, I wouldn’t want to ruin your
evening.  Are you crazy?  Of course, I want to go home.  I can’t wait to get
away from that...that...I really don’t know how to describe him.  He just
ruined my new blouse and my evening.  Do you really imagine that I want to
spend
more
time with him?”  Olivia was angry.  Very angry.

“I was hoping...” I said.

“Hoping?  Hoping what?” Olivia
demanded.

“I was hoping you wouldn’t want
to go home.  He didn’t throw up on you on purpose.  Josh didn’t do anything. 
He hasn’t even smoked pot in front of you because he knows you don’t like
that.  Please, Olivia.  Please say you’ll go with us to the beach.  After
tonight, you won’t ever have to see him again.  I promise...” I was about to
get down on my knees.

“You promise?  Nothing – and I
mean nothing – could ever make me see him again.  You don’t have anything to do
with it.  But okay.  I guess I’ll go with you to the beach.  I don’t know why,
but I’ll go.  You owe me big time; don’t forget it.”  Olivia smiled
sardonically and turned back to the sink.  She continued talking – more to
herself than to me.  “No, I don’t know why.  It’s not like you would ever hold
it against me.  In a month or two, you won’t even remember who Josh Boucher
is...”

I left the bathroom to check on Ray. 
I felt certain his episode was a case of overindulgence, but I had to make
sure.  He was coming out of the men’s room.  He was wringing out his green
shirt, and a puddle of water formed at his feet. 

Josh caught me by the arm.  “Your
car was fine.  I guess everything went on Olivia and Ray.  I’m sorry he’s acted
like such a jerk tonight.  I guess Olivia wants to go home?”

“No, she’s being a good sport. 
She doesn’t much like Ray, but she loves me.  She’s doing this for me.”

Olivia tried to dry her blouse
under the hand dryer in the bathroom, but it didn’t work very well.  Still, she
had to wear it.  There was nothing else for her to put on.  Remarkably, the
stain came out, and the blouse appeared white again.  But it was also totally
transparent.  I didn’t reveal this observation to Olivia.  I knew she’d insist
on going home.  Or she’d make me give her my clean shirt.  Best to keep quiet.

Ray put his wet T-shirt on and
apologized to Olivia.  In a little while, we were all having a good laugh over
the whole event.  Even Olivia and Ray were talking and laughing together.  With
the ice between them finally broken, I wondered what the rest of the night
would bring.  Part of me worried that Ray had warmed up because he could see
through Olivia’s top.

When we reached the beach, Josh
and I decided to take a walk.  Olivia and Ray were perfectly happy to stay
behind in the car.  Josh and I sat on the beach and kissed.  After a while, he
tried to unbutton my jeans, but I grabbed his hand and said, “No.  Not
tonight.”

“Why?” he asked.

The real reason was that I wasn’t
drunk or high enough, but I said, “It’s just not a good time.”

I couldn’t tell if Josh was angry
or hurt.  He stood up and pulled me to my feet.  “We’d better get back before
they kill each other,” was all he said.

Walking back to the car, Josh
started joking around, and we had another good laugh about Olivia and Ray’s
backseat pukefest.  Between two tall sand dunes, we found the path leading back
to my car.  As we neared the street side of the dunes, Josh said, “Do you think
I should warn them that we are coming back?”

I laughed at that thought.  “Maybe...but
I doubt it.”

We walked out into the open, and
Josh started howling like a dog.  The car loomed in the distance, and Josh
howled until we were almost upon it.  He glanced in through the back window,
and then he quickly clamped his hands over my eyes.  “You really don’t want to
see this,” he said with a shudder.

I heard Olivia giggle and Ray
began laughing.  It wasn’t hard to guess what they were doing.

Josh and I leaned up against the
back of the car until Olivia and Ray got dressed and ready to leave.  Olivia’s
cheeks were red, but she was happier than I had ever seen her.  Her loss of
innocence would be something she’d always remember.  Although the idea of lying
down with Ray revolted me, I envied Olivia that night.

Olivia’s curfew was eleven o’clock,
so I took her home first.  I didn’t have to be home until twelve, and it was
only ten forty-five.  Josh said that he needed some munchies, so we decided to
go to a Hardees restaurant before I took them home.  I ate a hamburger and
drank a soda.  Josh and Ray each had a roast beef sandwich, large fries, and a
soda.  They were still hungry.  Josh had another roast beef; Ray had a Big Twin
hamburger, a cheeseburger, and another large fry.  I’m sure they could have
kept eating, but it was almost eleven thirty.

I drove the guys back to Josh’s
friend’s apartment in Foster’s Bank.  My house was less than ten minutes away,
so I still had plenty of time to make it home.  Josh and I talked for a few
minutes, and then he kissed me goodbye and told me he’d call me.  Ray said he
would see me later.   I would see Ray again, but that was the end of Josh.  I
spoke to him on the phone one more time, but then he was just gone.  Oddly
enough, I wasn’t heartbroken.  It was like Olivia had said.  After a month or
so, I forgot all about Josh Boucher – except for that night when he changed me
forever.  I might not remember the details, but I would never forget the
consequences.  Soon after Josh, I gave up my wild drinking sprees, and I never
smoked pot again.

Olivia continued to see Ray for
at least a month after Josh disappeared from my life.  Once, I went with her to
visit him on the Lexington.  He was different that night – maybe he was sober. 
He was amusing and even charming, to a certain extent.  The “yeah, mans” were
almost nonexistent that night, and I came to believe that he really liked Olivia. 
It surprised me when he stopped calling her, but she handled the situation
well.

Then it happened.  Olivia came to
school in a frenzy.  It was May, and school would soon be over, but Olivia was
wailing that she’d never make to be a senior.  I finally convinced her to tell
me what was wrong.  “I’m dying.  I think I have cancer or something.  I haven’t
had my period.”

I almost swallowed my tongue.  “Olivia,
you aren’t dying.  I think you might be pregnant.”

Now Olivia was even more
frightened.  “No...I’m dying.  I am not pregnant.  I’m dying, and don’t you
forget it.”

As it turned out, we were both
wrong.  Olivia had her period a few weeks later, and the doctor told her that
she had an abnormal cycle.  He put her on birth control pills to regulate her. 
A few months later, I visited the doctor myself.  I didn’t plan to have sex
anytime soon, but I had learned that sometimes it just happens.

After Olivia’s scare, my mother
began to think that she might be a bad influence on me, and she told me I
couldn’t go out with her as much anymore.  I couldn’t explain to my mother that
I was the bad influence, not Olivia.  I curtailed my activities with Olivia to
please my mom.  Now we went out only occasionally, but we were constantly on
the phone together.

I spent the summer traveling with
my family.  Rick, Rebecca, Birdie and Carl joined us.  Luckily, they were
traveling in a different car.  My parents wanted to visit San Diego, California. 
When my dad first joined the Navy, he was stationed there.  My mother’s father,
also a Navy man, was stationed there as well, and my parents had met during
that time.  I think they were hoping to rekindle their marriage by returning to
the place their love had first bloomed.  I was to spend time with Rick and his
family doing all kinds of fun things…like babysitting his kids so he and
Rebecca could help their love bloom a little bit.