Blind Squirrels (23 page)

I still had a lot of fun.  While
we were there we went to Disneyland and Tijuana, Mexico, but my favorite trip
was to the San Diego Zoo.  It wasn’t just the animals.  This was the place my
parents had met each other.  I had long romanticized about meeting my future
husband there, but, as it turned out, I didn’t meet a soul.  Clearly the
animals were friendlier than the boys in California.

My dad became very sick, so we
left San Diego.  He improved on the trip back, and he wanted to continue with
our original plans: following Rick and family back to their home in Orlando.  While
we were at their house, we visited Disney World and Sea World.  Finally, we
returned to Foster’s Bank a few weeks before school started.

At this time, Olivia and I got a
job working together at Mac’s, a local hamburger joint.  At first, this brought
us closer together, but later we started drifting apart.  I began hanging out more
with Laura and Donna.

School started, and Olivia and I
only had two classes to attend.  I went to Human Development, the school’s
clever name for Sex Education, for first period.  Mrs. Cline was my teacher. 
Second period was English.  Mrs. Keystone was teaching that class.  Olivia had
English first period and World History second period.  We spent the rest of our
day at work or at home.

Midway into the first semester of
our senior year, I decided that I was destroying a good friendship.  One
Saturday, I asked Olivia if she would like to go somewhere after work.  She
did.  For some reason, my mother had hardened her stance against Olivia, and
she refused to let me go out with her.  I finally told her that I was going
skating, and she allowed me to go.  So far, my lies hadn’t caught up with me. 
I felt safe and confident that Mom would never learn the truth.

Olivia and I wound up driving
around an apartment complex called White Oaks.  A few weeks before, I had met a
guy named Scott who lived there, and I asked Olivia if I could go talk to him
for a few minutes.  Olivia said sure.  Scott lived in the corner apartment on
the first floor.  I parked in front of his apartment, and Olivia and I both got
out.  Olivia leaned against the front of my car while I knocked on Scott’s
door.

My mother knew I had dated Scott
a few times, although she had never met him.  He was twenty-four years old, and
I tried to keep this fact from my mother.  He wasn’t exactly handsome, but he
was an officer in the Navy.  Scott had very short brown hair, hazel eyes, and a
baby face.  He was very polite and respectful, but I was only interested in him
because he spent money on me.  He would soon be another notch on my belt, but
for now he was the man of the hour.

Scott invited me into his apartment
and Olivia told me to go ahead.  I noticed that she was eyeing some guy that was
standing in the doorway three doors down.  I followed Scott inside and soon
forgot about Olivia. 

Scott and I were sitting on his
bed kissing.  We would never go farther than that, but I did enjoy kissing
him.  All at once, I heard a car horn blowing.  It was very loud, and I
instantly knew it was blowing for me.  I jumped off the bed and ran to the
door.  I threw the door open, and there was my mother in her car laying on the
horn.  She had caught me.  If she saw Olivia, I would really be dead.  But Olivia
was not there.

“Katrina Kipling, what are you
doing here?  You were supposed to be skating.  Get your butt into that car and
come straight home.  I’ll wait for you at the main road.  And you had better
hope that Olivia McLain is not with you.  Get moving!”

She drove away, but I knew she’d
be waiting.  I nervously looked around for Olivia, but she was not in sight. 
The man in the doorway was also missing and the door was closed.  I quickly
told Scott goodbye and got into my car.  I hated to leave Olivia, but I would
die if my mother caught me with her.  I left the apartments and followed my
mother home.  I had no idea how Olivia would get home, and I was too scared to
care.  Poor Olivia!

The next day, I called Olivia. 
She refused to talk to me.  On Monday, I apologized.  She refused to talk to
me.  On Wednesday, she finally talked to me long enough to explain what
happened.  She’d gone into the man in the doorway’s apartment.  His name was
Jerry.  They were just joking around at first, but he soon became too
friendly.  He pushed her onto his bed and kept telling her that he was horny. 
She managed to break away from him, but when she ran outside, my car wasn’t
there.  Scott wasn’t answering his door either, so she started walking home. 
An older man stopped and offered her a ride, and she accepted.  Luckily for
her, he was trustworthy.  He dropped her safely at her front door.

It would take a while, but Olivia
would forgive me.  We went through many ups and downs that year, but when we
graduated, we were best friends.  Even a jerk like me couldn’t kill a
friendship like ours.  Fortunately for me.

Chapter 13

Amazingly, Olivia and I had
remained good friends over the years.  There were periods when we didn’t talk
for months at a time, but each of us knew that the other one was just a phone
call away.  I now admitted to myself that I hadn’t been as good a friend as Olivia
had been, and I regretted that.  She always forgave me my little indiscretions,
but she always reminded me of how selfish and spoiled she thought I was. 
Sometimes, Olivia said things that I didn’t like – she was prone to speak her
mind – but I could never remember a single time that I had truly been angry
with her.  I wished that she could say the same about me.

I wasn’t expecting Olivia to call
back anytime soon, so I went out for lunch.  Fast food was out of the question,
so I stopped in at Daley’s Pub, owned and operated by none other than Colleen
Daley.  I hadn’t been there in several years but I knew I wanted the shepherd’s
pie.  Colleen used the same recipe her father had perfected, and it was always
as delicious as I remembered.  Colleen brought me my meal.  We hugged and then
caught up for a few minutes, but the pub was busy and she had other diners to
attend to.  We promised each other that we’d talk soon as she hurried towards
the kitchen.

As I enjoyed my meal, I thought
about another pub that I’d once loved frequenting: McGuire’s Irish Pub in
Pensacola.  I remembered the dollar bills that were pinned all over the walls –
dollars signed and put there over the years by the customers.  Somewhere
amongst all the hundreds of bills was one with my name on it – mine and Ben’s. 
McGuire’s – in the original location – had been a favorite hangout of ours. 
We’d known all the waitresses by name and all the Irish ditties by heart.  The
place was so different now that I rarely ever stopped in any more.  Colleen’s
place was much more intimate and quiet and it didn’t bring back memories of Ben.

After lunch, I went back home.  I
watched TV for a while before going online to check my e-mail.  I surfed some
chat rooms, but I didn’t really feel like socializing – even on the Internet. 
I ended up playing a game on my PlayStation.  Before I knew it, it was seven
o’clock.  I fixed myself a ham sandwich and a bowl of chicken noodle soup. 
Right in the middle of my meal, the phone rang.

“Hi, Kat.  I found that guy, but
he wouldn’t sell me any tickets.  Sorry.”  It was Olivia.

“It’s okay, Olivia.  I knew he
wouldn’t sell.  I don’t blame him.  If I had those tickets, I wouldn’t sell
them for a thousand dollars.”

“I would,” Olivia said.

“Okay, we know where you stand on
Elton John.  What are you doing tonight?  Going out with Lee?”

“I don’t know.  I might stay
home.  I’m plenty tired.  I’ve had a busy day.”  And she’d done it all for me.

“I’ll let you go then.  I’m sort
of tired myself.”  Besides that, my soup was getting cold.

After dinner, I took a long bath
before heading to bed.  I fell asleep right away and dreamed of Max and Elton
John.

Two weeks passed before I saw Max
again.  I was spending another Saturday alone in Hurricane Gardens.  I was
sitting on my favorite bench when he walked aimlessly by me.  I followed him
with my eyes to the end of the sidewalk.  I thought he was going to sit on the
bench down there, but he turned around and headed back towards me instead.  I
diverted my gaze so he wouldn’t know I was watching him.  Abruptly, he stopped
right beside me.  My hands began feeling clammy and my heart began pounding.

“May I sit down?” he asked in his
deep voice.

“Sure,” I answered.  Thank God I
wasn’t there eating lunch.  I wouldn’t want to throw up on him.

I searched for something to say,
but he spoke first.  “I’ve seen you here a lot.  You must really like this
place.”

He’d actually noticed me – now
and before.  “It’s beautiful here,” was all I could say to him.

“I guess I hadn’t noticed.  I
come here because it’s quiet.  I come here to think.”

I finally got the nerve to turn
around and look Max in the eye.  He looked so much older than the Max I
remembered, and he looked troubled and tired.  He stared back at me, and I saw
a flicker of recognition in his eyes.  I knew I should leave, but I couldn’t
make myself get up.

“You – um – I,” he started.  Then
that flicker disappeared.

“Did you want to say something?”
I asked.  He didn’t recognize me – I was safe.

“You just remind me of someone. 
It was a long time ago.  I’m sorry I bothered you.  I’ll go now.”  He stood
up.  Something was causing him to be uncomfortable.  If he walked away, I’d
never know if it was the memory of me or something else.

Using more strength than I’ve
ever known before, I forced myself to stand up.  “Please don’t leave,” I said. 
“You aren’t bothering me.  Really.  You remind me of someone, too.  Please sit
back down.”

Max obeyed me.  I knew from the
look on his face that he was trying to decide who I was.  “It can’t be,” he
said finally.  “I must be mistaken.”

“I remind you of something
painful?” I asked.

“Not exactly.”  Then he looked
deeply into my eyes.  “Are you Kat?  It’s me, Max.”

He recognized me – now what would
I do?  “Max?  You’re Max?”  I couldn’t let him detect that I had known all
along.

A big smile came across his
face.  “Yes!  It’s Max.  Max Savage.  You are Kat, aren’t you?”

I smiled back.  “Yes, I’m Kat.  I
can’t believe this.”

Then Max did something totally
unexpected.  He hugged me.  Not tenderly nor romantically – just a big bear
hug.  It was a long-lost-friend hug.  He held me out before him at arm’s length
and looked me up and down.  “Kat, you’re all grown up now.  You aren’t a little
girl anymore.”

“I haven’t been for a long time. 
I’m thirty-seven.”  Why was I telling him my age?  With my heart jumping up
into my throat, how was I talking at all?

“Yeah, I guess you’re old enough
to have a little girl of your own,” Max said.

“Old enough, but I don’t have
one.  I don’t have any children.”  Pace yourself, I thought.  Breathe slowly
and don’t hyperventilate.

Max looked distressed.  I
wondered if he thought he had mentioned a taboo subject.  I added, “I guess I
never got around to it.  I’m a career woman.  I wouldn’t make a very good
mother.”

“Are you married?  Let’s see, who
were you interested in back in high school?”  He struck the pose of the
“Thinker.”  Was he serious?  If he remembered my name, he had to remember who I
wanted to marry. 

“I’m not married.  I’m divorced.”

Max looked slightly embarrassed. 
“I guess you didn’t marry the guy of your dreams, did you?”

“No,” I answered.  “I think he
married someone else.  After him, there wasn’t much to pick from.”

“So you were married.  How
long?”  Max ignored my references to him.

“We married in 1981.  I was just
twenty.  It lasted three years.”

“Anyone I knew?” he asked.

“No.  Ben wasn’t from school.  He
was twenty-five when we married, and he had just moved to Foster’s Bank in the
late 70’s.  He’s moved on now.  Tell me about you.  I know you married.”

“You do?”  He sounded surprised. 
“You’re right.  I married Julie in 1987.  Julie is your age, but she went to Bragg. 
I was working at Thompson’s Machine Shop – I guess you know I’m a welder – and
Julie became the receptionist there.  We dated for about a year before we
married.  We’ve been together a long time.”  At first, Max had almost beamed
when he mentioned Julie; now he looked forlorn and miserable.

“I’m glad you’ve been so happy,”
I said, although I wondered if this was true.

“We were happy – very happy.  At
least I was.  Julie was a wonderful wife.  She wanted children, but after she
miscarried three times, we decided it wasn’t meant to be.  Now that she’s gone,
I guess it was for the best.”  There were tears in his eyes.  I felt wretched. 
Julie must have died, I thought.

“I’m so sorry, Max.  When did it
happen?”

“She told me about a month ago,
but I told myself it would never happen.  Then, suddenly last week...”  Max
stopped.  He couldn’t continue without breaking down.